Never-Ending Midnight
by KNeu24264
Summary: Sequel to Standing on the Moon-Takes place during Eclipse: Everything it takes to be human after a life of fighting to stay alive isn't easy to get the hang of. Life throws some lessons in there that are only learned the hard way, and Leandra can't escape the consequences while coming to terms with her past.
1. Chapter 1

**OpENING NOTES!**  
 **I've only got a few things I need to point out here.**  
 **1) As with my previous two stories, this STORY is rated 'M' for stuff that people under 'M' shouldn't be reading. There will be some strong language and some violence, but I do try to keep it within the guidelines.**  
 **2) I don't own, nor do I claim to own, anything belonging to Stephenie Meyer or her creations. The only characters I claim to own are the ones you don't recognize from anything. They're just characters, though, and don't represent any actual people.**  
 **3) This is a continuation of my previous story, Standing on the Moon. I highly recommend reading the first two stories in my list (and maybe reviewing them a little? :D) before reading this one, or I swear you'll be pretty lost.  
4) I'm trying something different here. I'll be making these chapters a bit shorter than my previous ones. A few might run longer, but that's just how it goes.  
** **5) It's late, my son refuses to sleep, and I'm probably releasing this too soon, but here we go!  
**

 **Onward!**

 **Chapter One**

The motivational poster hanging up on the wall across the hall was staring at me. I'd never wanted to punch a kitten more in my life than I did right then.

There was no way to express how much I hated myself in that silent moment. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I did it anyway. I knew what would happen if I did it, but I did it anyway. I didn't even _want_ to do it, but I did it anyway.

I knew the sound that girl made as I pushed her down the few steps outside the school shouldn't make me smile, but it did anyway.

"Leandra?" I turned my head, looking up the hall at a familiar voice. "Dang it, why do you do this stuff?"

Andrew landed in the plastic seat beside me.

I hadn't been at school very long before things started piling up. Reasons why I would never be okay with this.

Time with Andrew was one thing I truly appreciated my family insisting on. I loved it. Around him, it was almost easy to pretend I wasn't the kind of person I was. I could ignore the way I was raised, and this was as close to normal I'd ever felt. It was different with him. I was a different person. Like he threw a blanket over my head.

When I was around my family, it was okay to not be okay. I could give time and attention to the torn parts of me, and try to figure out how to begin filling the holes left in me by my past. It wasn't an easy thing to figure out, but I felt like with my family, I could really take a look at who I was supposed to be.

Spending time with Andrew gave me a first look at what it meant to be a normal human ten-year-old. With Andrew, I put those thoughts away for a short time, and I got to focus on a whole different part of me. Another part of me that needed just as much attention as the bad part of me.

However.

Without anyone with me, I scared myself. In those inevitable moments when it was just me, I became someone I hardly recognized. Of course I was ashamed of who I became when I was alone, but that was just it. I couldn't control it. Alone, I felt cornered and scared. This was one of those times.

The things I did for seemingly no reason scared me, because at the same time, I knew it was justified. I hated it, but I wasn't wrong. I wasn't sure exactly when I developed this little personality trait, but I had a feeling it had a lot to do with my time in Port Angeles. Or with Keith.

In a way, I felt like three different people. Not in the crazy way, but I hid different parts of me around different people. The parts of my personality I was okay with showing around my family, I didn't show to Andrew, but there were things I didn't dare show anyone.

Things I tried to hide from even myself. It lived under all the hurt and anger and fear. It lived underneath everything, but it felt like it never left. Those were things that drowned me when I slept, things I felt just as realistically as it had been. It was those things that I refused to face, but it scared me to face the fact that it wasn't going away. It was my instincts, my behaviors. It was dark, and I knew it was only hurting me, but I held onto it.

It wasn't going away. It was pushing me on, making me do the things I did.

I saw the pattern, so I knew everyone else did too. I saw the point my behavior was making. I saw the similarities between the way I behaved to the way Jack had always treated me. It was like the day I fought with Rachel. I didn't have a filter anymore. It was like that all the time now. I wanted to cause as much damage as I could. I knew what they were worried about, because I was worried too.

What if trying to tell myself that Jack was really gone was making me act that way? What if I was just a horrible person that nobody could control, and without the fear of Jack punishing me, I wouldn't bother to hold it back anymore.

Counselling and therapy, two separate days, were getting me nowhere. I hated going, and they all knew it. And even they would only shove against a brick wall for only so long before they would give up. I felt like it was pointless. If it took someone like Jack to get me this bad, I knew people like them wouldn't be able to fix me no matter what they tried.

These thoughts ran through my mind over and over as I sat there, finally opening my eyes and staring down at my hands in my lap.

"I don't know." I finally answered Andrew's question, looking over apologetically.

Just to my right was a closed door, and behind that door, Carlisle and Esme sat talking with the school principal. It really must have been bad this time, considering they usually only called Esme. They normally didn't bother Carlisle.

This was my third school fight in the last two weeks. Two day's suspension between each, and I'd known before I was on thin ice here, but somehow, that didn't stop me from beating on another student.

Since the Cullens had gotten back, my hatred toward other people had grown. At an alarming rate.

Now, it was a miracle if I tolerated any amount of attention. The slightest things provoking me. A glance, a mutter to another student. Whispering my name just loud enough for me to hear in a passing conversation. I didn't hesitate anymore. My fists had a mind of their own. I was mean and unpredictable, even to myself, and I blew up.

The first couple of weeks were tense, but slowly, it only got worse.

"I'm sorry I wasn't with you." Andrew replied. "I had to give my notebook to Zack. I was coming right back."

Andrew knew me well enough by now to know I had a really short temper. He also knew me well enough to know that I didn't like showing it in front of him. He knew that just being around me was probably the only reason they hadn't kicked me out yet.

"I don't need a babysitter." I sighed. "You can do whatever you-"

"Oh, stop." He rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Leandra. You gotta stop doing stuff like that. They're gonna kick you out."

"I don't like doing it." I countered defensively. "They just need to shut their stupid faces. So I shut it for them. Has what's-her-face-"

"Mariah." He knew who I was referring to.

"Okay, has she said anything since I shut her up last week?"

"She hasn't been back to school yet." Andrew reasoned. "She lost two teeth. I get it. I hate it too, hearing the things they say about you, but-"

The door beside me opened, and I looked over as I was broken out of conversation by the sound.

"Leandra." The principal, Mr. Brown, sighed. I slowly stood, already defensive. I could feel it. I could definitely feel it, but I couldn't stop it.

I sighed heavily. This wouldn't go well.

"Good luck." Andrew told me as I turned toward the room.

"Thanks." I was going to need all the luck I could get.

Mr. Brown closed the door behind me.

"Please." He said. "Have a seat." I chanced a glance toward Carlisle and Esme, and the looks in their eyes told me I was in trouble. I shamefully looked down, sitting slowly in the chair to Carlisle's left. Sliding down, slouching slightly.

I watched Mr. Brown step back around his desk, sitting with a sigh. Sliding an open folder back to him and looking down at it. It was quiet for a moment, and I sighed quietly as well, looking over at Carlisle. His eyes were on me now, and the disappointed look in them had me look back down.

I knew the bruise displayed clearly over my right cheek wasn't pretty, and neither was my newly split lip. Purely the other student's attempts at self defense. I'd brought them on myself.

"Leandra." Mr. Brown finally spoke. "Do you realize what I'm faced with now?" I stayed quiet, knowing responding now would only get myself into more trouble. "I don't know your reasons, and frankly, at this point, I don't care. You have one more chance. I'm giving you one last chance. You so much as speak out, you're out."

"Am I supposed to thank you?" I grumbled, and Carlisle reached over, taking my hand.

"What you've done is unacceptable, and right now, I'm considering you a threat to the rest of the students." Mr. Brown said, leaning forward and placing his arms on the desk. "If it weren't for your parents, you'd have been out long ago after the first unprovoked fight."

"I know that."

"Leandra, drop the attitude." He told me firmly. "Do you even realize what you're doing? What you've done to that other student?"

"She deserved it."

"I hardly think Noel deserved to be pushed down those ten steps.." He replied incredulously.

"Oh, that was her name." I actually had just remembered. He paused, sighing heavily as he looked back down at the folder in front of him.

He looked back up at me, continuing. "Leandra, you're smarter than this. I know you are, and I know there's a good kid in there somewhere. It's like you're purposefully throwing it all away. You don't want something like this on your record."

I was quiet, staring down at my hand as I smoothed my pantleg awkwardly. What was I supposed to say to that? Even if I told him the truth, he wouldn't get it. Was I supposed to lie, and say I'd try harder? Should I just tell him what he wanted to hear?

"You've been suspended for a week." He sighed when I didn't reply.

"Good." I internally kicked myself at my response. Knee jerk reaction. I glanced sheepishly toward Carlisle. I didn't mean to be this way.

Mr. Brown chose to ignore that. "When you come back, I want to see some effort."

"What's that?" I asked sarcastically. Shit. Leandra, I thought to myself, just shut up!

"I know you know what effort is." He replied patiently, despite the fact that I knew he was losing it. "This isn't a joke, Leandra. This isn't a game. You started this year doing so well. Then, suddenly, you just.. Gave up. That bothers me. It really does."

"Right." I snorted.

"Leandra." Carlisle corrected me, squeezing my hand. Mr. Brown was quiet for a moment, looking back down at the folder.

"I made the decision to let you come back after initially expelling you for lack of attendance." He murmured, looking back up. "At your parents' request." I looked up, meeting his eyes. "Don't make me regret that decision. Show me that you want to be here. Show me that you're trying. That's all I ask."

"I have tried." I finally answered sharply. "It's your fault you don't see it."

"Leandra, please." Mr. Brown sighed, shaking his head. "I don't want to argue with you."

"Then don't." I grumbled. "You only notice when I'm bad. Why should I be good, when the next time I see you, you'll just say I'm not trying hard enough?"

"What I've seen from you isn't trying." He countered. "Maybe trying to get kicked out. There's got to be _some_ kind of intent or purpose there."

"How the fuck would you know?" I was getting upset. "Nothing I ever do is right."

"Leandra." Carlisle corrected me again, and I growled, sitting back.

"Two weeks." Mr. Brown finally said firmly, now quite a bit more irritated. "Maybe you can use that extra week to find some way of controlling those outbursts. Doubtful, but it's worth a try, isn't it?"

"Why bother?" I muttered. "Why not make it three?"

"Leandra-" Carlisle tried.

"How about four?" Mr. Brown responded. "The rest of the year? Are we going to keep going, or will you attempt to control yourself?"

"I haven't done anything wrong. All I did was tell you what you're doing wrong." I stood, spinning. Esme attempted to call after me.

"Leandra." Mr. Brown stood. "I'm tired of your attitude. You walk out that door, you're not coming back." I froze, my hand on the knob. "I don't need an influence like you around the other students. I'm trying to help you here-"

"An influence like me?" I asked, turning to look at him. "What the hell does that mean?"

I didn't miss Esme covering her face with her hands, shaking her head a little.

"Personally, I'm not sure what I'm facing here." He replied. "I want to help you, but you seem to enjoy making that extremely difficult."

"I know."

"Don't do this." Mr. Brown warned.

"Fuck you." I spat, spinning. Yanking open the door, and slamming it behind me as hard as I could. I stormed out of the office.

"See you later, Leandra." Andrew called, not moving to follow me. As mad as I was, I knew I would see him later. He'd heard the whole thing.

I continued on up the hall and outside. The front exit. Down the several steps in front of the school. The same ones I'd pushed Noel down. Stepping off the curb facing the parking area, I sat on it, fuming.

I knew what I'd just done, but I didn't care at that point.

Nothing I ever did was good enough to please those people that were supposed to matter. Everything I did was wrong in some way or another. To everyone else, everyone besides my family, all I did was wrong.

Nobody understood me, or even tried to. I hated everything at that point. I lived with a hole in my heart. It seemed like I was patching that hole with anger and whatever resentment I could get my hands on, and I had to ask myself again and again. Why bother?

I was so mad all the time, but it was only away from my family, or away from Andrew, that I reacted. For the most part. My distrust was hurting me. My anger was hurting me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Since they'd been back, I had no idea what I was doing. It'd only been a few weeks, and how far I'd gone this direction was even surprising to me.

Esme and Carlisle came out about ten minutes later, and by then, I'd started to feel ashamed of myself. They didn't say a word, but Esme reached out, taking my hand and helping me stand.

The ride home was silent. I chose to use the ride home to calm down, to go from the level of defense I was at, to calmer. More on the level of rational thinking. I knew I was in trouble, and nothing I could say would make it any better for myself.

I had no explanation. No excuses. I couldn't tell anyone why I did what I did, because I had no idea myself.

Normal kids could hold their temper. Normal kids didn't attack other kids. Normal kids just ignored the comments other kids made, and unless it was really bad, didn't strive to beat the snot out of them. Normal kids took a scolding, and just kept quiet. Normal kids didn't get angry like I did.

That was the problem. I wasn't a normal kid, and they were trying to fit me into normal situations. Like school. Normal situations wouldn't work for a kid like me. The problem was, I didn't know how to tell them that. I'd actually been hoping they would figure it out on their own.

Before the car even fully stopped in the garage, I jumped out. Running inside. Trying to put off the scolding that was coming for as long as I could.

"Leandra." I heard Carlisle. I did hear him, but I kept running. Finding Emmett on the couch, I flopped down beside him, looking straight ahead at the TV. Watching some midday news channel. Pretending for just a moment that nothing was wrong.

"Shorty." Emmett sighed in disappointment. "Seriously? Again?"

"She deserved it this time. I swear." I replied, looking up at him.

"Leandra." Carlisle called again, closer this time.

"Whoops. Gotta go." I said, and I jumped up. Emmett caught me before I could run off, pulling me back down.

"Uh-uh. Sit with me for a minute." His arm came around my shoulders, hugging me into his side. I looked over, watching as both Esme and Carlisle came into the room. Both clearly very disappointed in me. Reaching down, Carlisle lifted the remote, turning off the TV. Standing there for a moment, studying me as I kept my eyes down.

"I want to know why." He finally spoke. "What did that girl do so wrong?"

I shrugged, staying quiet. It wasn't often that I stayed quiet around my family. Only when I was in trouble. When I was worried that what I'd say would get me into more trouble than I was in before, which was major possibility, because I often let my mouth run away with me when I was defensive.

"Leandra." He sighed, crouching slowly in front of me. "I'm just trying to understand. I'm not angry."

"I don't like them." I mumbled. "I can't stand them."

"Why?" He asked.

I shrugged again, looking back down at my hands. "They're all the same. Every single one of them. They don't care who it hurts, who hears it when they open their stupid mouths. Talking shit about people they don't know. They don't even know me. Why would they want to hurt me?"

"Were they teasing you, shorty?" Emmett asked quietly.

"Not to my face." I admitted. "But to other people. I could hear them."

"What were they saying?" Emmett asked.

"I don't like the way I am." I said instead. "I tried to ignore her. I swear, but.. She talked about me right there behind me. Knowing I could hear her."

"They're just being kids." Esme reasoned. "They don't know any better."

"I don't care." I said, sitting forward. "I'm tired. I'm tired of trying. Why should they get away with saying those things? I'm glad I hit her. I'm glad I pushed her down those stairs." I sighed, as I stood. "It's not fair." I stepped around Carlisle. "I don't care if they kicked me out or not. I'm not going back."

"Leandra." Esme sighed. "Honey-"

"No." I said. "You know what's going to happen if I go back. Why should I? I don't like them, I don't learn anything there. None of the teachers like me. Hell, even the principal doesn't like me."

"Leandra, the way you spoke to him.." Esme trailed off, shaking her head. "It's no wonder."

"He wouldn't listen to me." I reasoned. "None of them listen to me. I'm not a _danger_ to anyone that's not being mean to me. No matter what, it's just going to turn out the same way. Why should I have to try when they don't? How in the hell is that fair? Just like my mom. I told you the same thing about her, and I was right."

"I know you're upset." Carlisle murmured comfortingly. "I know this is hard on you, believe me. I see you're struggling, and it hurts to see you this way." I looked down. "Just.. Take the next three weeks. Please. Give it one more try."

I sighed heavily, sitting down on the armrest of the couch. I couldn't say no. Not with how pleading he'd made his voice. I didn't want to yell at him, but he was sounding a lot like the people I hated.

"You know what they're saying isn't true." He continued. "Why do you let it bother you so much?"

"Because I don't know that what they're saying isn't true." I replied quietly. "They're right. That's why it hurts."

"Really. What are they saying about you, shorty?" Emmett asked firmly.

"Everybody knows you." I said, finally relenting. "And you know how people talk. Everybody knows me too. They say that I don't deserve to be with you."

"That's not true." Esme replied. "Not in the least."

"Yes it is." I argued. "I'm not smart, I'm not pretty. I don't have anything to give anybody. I'm mean. I don't talk to anybody. The only thing I'm good at is fighting, and when I do, I hurt them. I hurt people. I hurt them by hitting them, and I hurt them with what I say. I embarrass you. I know hitting them is wrong. I know yelling those things is wrong, but I don't think. They say things about me, and I just have to do something."

"I don't like where this is going." Emmett murmured, but I stood, frustrated again. I was trying to explain how I was feeling, but I couldn't find the right words.

"I'm not the same." I pointed out almost desperately. "I'm _too_ difference. There's them, and then there's me. I don't belong there, and making me go back is just asking for more trouble." I was getting more frustrated. "I know they're just words, but they hurt so much more since they're true. They're true, and I _know_ I'm worthless. I don't need them-"

"Stop right there, shorty." Emmett stood, and I turned, looking back at him. "I don't want to hear you say that again."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"That 'W' word." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Worthless?" I asked. "It's-"

"No it's not." He said firmly. "That's a blatant lie some coward told you to make himself feel better. You are anything but worthless."

That 'coward' he was referring to was my stepfather, Jack. I hated the reminder, but at the same time, it never left my mind these days.

"He's right." I replied before he could stop me. "Jack's right. Tell me how I've got any worth. All I do is cause trouble. I can never do anything right." I turned, sitting back down. "I'm tired. I'm always so _tired_."

"Leandra, please." I glanced up at Carlisle's voice. "Never say that again."

"Fine." I mumbled. "I won't say I'm worthless again. Just know I'll always be thinking it."

"Not that." He said, shaking his head. "Although, I can't even begin to tell you how wrong you are about that."

"Then what?" I asked quietly.

"Never, ever tell me that Jack was right." I looked down. "Not one word he ever told you was true. In any way."

"Then _help_ me!" I cried. "Help me figure out the difference between what he told me, and how I'm feeling, because I can't tell what it is! _Please_!"

Instead of arguing further, possibly fueling me, Carlisle strode forward and lifted me. Hugging me securely.

"I know." He told me as I gave in, returning the hug. "I know. Leandra, life hasn't been kind to you. I understand this. We all do, and honestly, I can't blame you for wanting to walk away. I can't blame you for wanting to turn away from it, but that's not an option for you right now."

"I know, I know." I mumbled, pulling back. "I'm just always so lost. I want to try. I want to get it, but I know I'm missing something." I paused. "I don't know how to be human."

"I know you're trying." Carlisle replied. "I see it every day. Just give it more time. Be kind to yourself."

If only he knew how impossible that was.

The discussion calmed soon after that, but I knew it was far from over. I knew I still had the other members of the family to face. In particular, Alice. She was always one of the ones asking where my head was at when I did what I did.

As soon as Alice stepped through the door, home from school, she crossed her arms over her chest, as she was suddenly standing in front of me.

"I can't see the TV.." I mumbled, hoping she'd forget about the scolding she was about to give me.

"Another fight?" She asked. "No, that wasn't a fight. That was just.. I don't even know. Leandra, you could have seriously hurt that girl."

"Oh yeah." I laughed a little. "You saw it, huh?"

"I'm the one that gave Carlisle heads up." She nodded, irritated.

"What'd she do?" Emmett asked, sitting forward. "It never came up."

"I pushed that stupid bitch down the front steps." I admitted, looking over at him. He clasped first one hand over his mouth, then the other, trying to hide it, but I clearly saw how much he wanted to laugh. "All I had to do was push her hard enough. She rolled, and just.. Kept rolling."

"It's not funny!" Alice insisted when Emmett couldn't contain his laugh anymore.

"No, no." Emmett laughed. "It's not. But.. Oh man, shorty. _Really_?" He lost himself to another fit of laughter.

"Emmett, go somewhere else." Alice sighed, irritated.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he's not helping." She replied. "It's not funny. You really could have hurt her, or gotten hurt yourself. Not everybody you approach is going to be weaker than you, Leandra. Why can't you see that?"

"I haven't found one yet." I stood, defensive again.

"Leandra, we're trying to help you, but we can't always be there to look out for you. I don't want to see you get hurt because you picked a fight with someone more than capable of defending themselves."

"I know, I know." I grumbled. "You've told me before."

"Then why aren't you hearing me?" She asked. "Why don't you listen? I worry for you. I do. Seeing you like this bothers me. It bothers us, and we don't know what to do here. Added on to that split in your lip, the lacerations before, and it makes this so much harder on all of us."

"Then how about I just live outside?" I spun, heading toward the door.

"Leandra," She sighed, frustrated. "I didn't mean that."

She didn't stop me. I knew she didn't mean that. I understood what she was trying to say, and I knew that I was the one in the wrong this time. I sat heavily on the top step, already hating the way I snapped at her. She didn't deserve that. I sighed, running my hand through my hair.

I drew my knees up, resting my arms on them. I wished I didn't have to try so hard. I wished I understood what I wasn't getting. Why I was so different.

Again, though, we all knew the reason behind that. I was really beginning to see some things in myself that scared me.

Jack had been in prison for just over a year. I hadn't seen or heard from him since that day, but I still remembered that day like it was yesterday. Despite how much had happened since then, it was still on the top of the 'don't think about this day' list.

The things I did without even thinking about it still scared me. I'd gone from biting people when I was scared to lashing out at the slightest provocation. Thinking about the things I did now, inevitably made me remember being on the receiving end of that kind of behavior.

That had been how I lived my life until the Cullens found me. Waiting for Jack to snap. Never being strong enough to stand up for myself. Well, I could now. How easy it was to hurt other people when they were my size was something I figured out the day of the fight against my classmate Rachel that made me meet Carlisle.

I wondered if the snap I felt that day right before I punched her was part of my problem now. It kinda felt the same.

But at the same time, I just didn't understand other people, or their constant need to put other people down. Why they refused to think beyond their own selfishness.

The real question I had to ask myself, was did I even want to understand them? Did I even want to be like them? Selfish and mean. Refusing to see passed what they want or their own happiness. I didn't want to try. Not because I was selfish, but because I was afraid. If they could hurt me so much without even trying, what would happen when I let myself be hurt?

They don't even know me. It didn't make any sense to me why they would choose to put me down the way they did, but I didn't want to understand. They didn't deserve it. They didn't deserve for me to cry over them or what they'd say.

Sighing again, I rose to my feet.

I knew exactly how to make myself feel better. I started toward the drive, knowing I probably wouldn't be stopped. I could usually wander, if I didn't go too far. It was sort of an unspoken rule. I could take walks, and considering they knew right where to find me when I did leave, they were okay with it.

"Be home before dark." Alice called out the door behind me.

"'Kay." I called back, letting her know I heard her. I knew she knew I would apologize to her.

Just the thought of where I was headed made me feel better. It took me a little less than half an hour to walk, but I was okay with the walk.

I'd taken it so often, especially in one of the darkest times of my life, so I knew the route like the back of my hand. Along the side of the almost-constantly deserted highway, straight through town, taking a left onto the street just passed the gas station.

Andrew lived one street over from the street my mom used to live on. His house was where I spent all my time with him. Mainly, more recently, after school when I'd get suspended. It was easier to pretend to be normal that way, and it got me out of the house, which I knew was a small relief to Jasper.

They knew I didn't spend my time with anyone else, and it certainly didn't hurt that Andrew's father, Richard, was a cop. I was over often enough for Richard to have become normal to me too. I was okay with him.

Richard was funny. He was so easy-going, but I also knew he had the ability to be firm when it was needed. Though I hardly spoke around him, I couldn't help but laugh at some of the things he'd say or do.

I didn't know what made Andrew so different, but I considered him worthy of speaking to. The only other human in my daily life that I did trust. Of course my family weren't going to refuse to let me go to him.

To my surprise, I found Andrew before I got to his house. He was walking along the sidewalk, toward the corner connected to the back road. I turned, jogging across the street to his side.

"Where you going?" I asked, falling into step beside him. He sighed, shaking his head. Me arriving out of nowhere was pretty common. He knew I didn't live anywhere around here anymore, but it was still never a surprise to him.

"Another fight, Leandra?" Andrew asked, and I shrugged. He went on, not expecting an answer. "I'm heading to a friends house. He has my notebook, and I need it to finish tomorrow's homework."

"Oh? Making new friends without me?" I sniffed, turning away briefly. "I'm on to you."

"Well, if you talked to people.." He trailed off.

"I'm not talking to them." I countered. "Fuck them."

"At least you like me enough to talk to me." He laughed at my tone, reaching down and taking my hand. That had become acceptable lately.

"Is that where you were at lunch today?" I asked, looking over.

"Yeah." He said. "Sorry about that. Zack had questions, so I just let him take my notebook. It would have been easier than explaining everything to him." He gestured to my face. "Looks like she hit back."

"Only a little."

"How long this time?"

"A week at first. I got two more for talking back." I smiled. "They're saying I'm a threat to everybody else."

"You are." He replied. "What am I going to do with you?"

"You know you keep me out of trouble." I laughed, jogging forward to kick a rock up the sidewalk. "I can't be left alone. Or else I beat someone's face in."

"True." He sighed. "I should get paid." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"So this kid." I said, gesturing ahead of us in the direction we were headed. "Is he nice?"

"I think so." He replied. "Remember? Zack. One of the other kids that ride our bus. Him and his brother live just over here."

"Oh." I vaguely remembered them. They were always okay. From what I could tell, anyway. I followed, rounding the corner with him. Up the sidewalk, and three houses later, he started up the front walk.

It was a decent sized two story house. Nothing fancy, more plain. I stayed behind, lingering by the mailbox by the curb. I didn't want to push my patience.

"I'll wait here." I said. "Just don't take too long." He sighed, but nodded. I watched after him as he jogged up the steps and knocked on the screen door.

Andrew and I had definitely gotten closer. Since returning to school, I went to his house as often as I could. Which was almost every day for the passed month or so. I'd briefly begun to worry that I'd get sick of him, but so far, I only liked being around him more.

He was protective of me, in a very subtle way. I was protective of him, in a very obvious way. He always offered his advice in a very passive way. He was very laid back, but I liked that. I probably wouldn't have gotten along with him if he was like me.

We made the oddest pair, but that didn't matter to me. No matter how bad the day I'd had was, seeing him always made it better. He just didn't worry about things the way I did. He made life seem less complicated.

I didn't mind so much being away from home anymore, though I still held the worry of them leaving. I liked being outside. Free, to a point.

While I stood there by the mailbox, I watched a car drive up and park in the driveway. I was curious, so I kept watching it. Soon enough, the door opened and a woman stepped out.

Her long, dark brown hair was back in a braid, and given the outfit she wore, she was a nurse at the hospital. Her blue eyes seemed friendly enough. She looked a little familiar, but I couldn't remember from where. I'd seen so many different nurses by then, it was almost annoying, but I couldn't place her.

"Hi there." She smiled as she shouldered her purse. I also couldn't figure out why she seemed to recognize me as well.

"Hi." I replied quietly. "I'm just waiting for my friend."

"Oh." She said, palming her keys and closing the car door. "Well, would you like to come wait inside?"

"No thanks." I forced a small smile. I was a little worried she'd insist, but she just smiled again. The feeling that she recognized me just got stronger as she looked at me again.

I jumped a little, looking back at the front door opening behind me. It was Andrew, followed by two boys. He was talking to them quietly as he led them my way.

I recognized them, but had never taken the time to talk to either of them.

"It was nice talking to you." The woman told me, and I nodded my response as she turned toward the house. I still wasn't sure about her, but my focus was taken by the two other boys again.

One looked about our age, the other a little older. Both had dark brown hair, almost black with how dark it was. The younger one's hair was longer than the older one's, almost long enough to pull back into a ponytail, but not quite. His eyes were a light, almost ice blue color, and he smiled in a friendly way.

The older one's eyes were just a few shades darker that his younger brother's, but it was enough of a difference to make me instantly dislike him. Something about these two unsettled me, though. The three of them stopped on the sidewalk, and Andrew turned to me.

"Leandra," He said. "This is Zack, and Josh." He pointed them out. Zack was the younger one, Josh being the older one.

"Guys, this is Leandra." I waved a little, choosing to stay silent.

"I know." Zack replied. "She used to ride our bus."

"I know her." Josh laughed. "She'd be pretty, if she weren't all bruised up." Josh reached out to touch my cheek. I glared, yanking back. He laughed. "Andrew, I don't think your girlfriend likes me."

"Shut up, Josh." Zack grumbled before looking to me. "Don't mind him. I think you're pretty anyway." I smiled a little. I didn't mind Zack so much. He reminded me a lot of Andrew already. "I heard about that fight at school. I think Noel deserved it." Now I knew I liked him. "I know she'd been making fun of you all day, so whatever she did during lunch, she got what was coming to her."

I looked down briefly, glancing to Andrew.

"Be careful, though." Zack went on. "I heard Noel is friends with a lot of sixth graders, who have a whole lot of middle school and high school brothers and sisters. They're probably going to be a little mad at what you did to her."

"I can handle it." I mumbled, and he smiled. Looking to Andrew in happiness. Andrew had probably told him I wouldn't speak unless I felt comfortable enough.

"Still, though." He said. "Be careful. I don't want you to get hurt. More than you are, I mean. Noel lives just up the street here, and her older sister likes to hang out with a bunch of friends at the park just over here every night." I frowned, knowing I'd have to walk right passed that park on my way back home.

"Thanks." I told him, grateful for the heads up. I'd just have to put off crossing the street until I was passed it.

"No problem." He said. "So how long did they suspend you for?"

"Three weeks." I answered, glancing to Josh who stood there without a word. "I still don't know if I'm going back or not."

"I wouldn't." Zack said, shaking his head. "Everyone there seems pretty ticked off at you. You sure know how to pick the fights, Leandra."

"I don't pick them." I said. "I finish them."

"I heard that girl before Noel had to get stitches after you punched her in the face." He laughed.

"I can only work with what I'm given." I laughed along with him. Andrew seemed pleased that I was talking to Zack, smiling a little at me.

"Why do you fight so often?" Josh asked suddenly, and I looked over at him. "Aren't you afraid they're going to smash you?"

"No." I answered. "And they usually start it. Not me."

"Well, I've heard about you." He continued. "Around _my_ school. I know a lot of people are hoping to find you somewhere."

"Gee." I muttered. "Thanks." I considered myself lucky to not have run into anyone yet. Especially with how often I walked through town. I shook my head, looking to Andrew. "Are we going back to your house now?"

"Yeah." He said as if he'd just remembered. "Zack's coming too."

I nodded, just fine with that. I didn't mind him at all, surprisingly.

"If you're going along," Josh said. "I'm coming, too. I don't want my little brother getting beat up for associating with you." Him, I minded.

"I think he's pretty safe." I grumbled, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Just in case." He grumbled right back at me. I wasn't used to anyone being immune to my attitude. Usually they had one of their own, but Josh was just returning my tone, nothing more.

"Whatever." I sighed, turning. "Do what you want."

Again, we took the back road. It seemed safer, and it was the opposite direction from where Zack said Noel lived. I wanted to avoid that. I had to admit that it was scary learning that. As stupid as it was, I never expected my actions to come back at me like that.

"What grade are you in?" I asked, looking over at Josh.

"Seventh." He replied. "A lot of eighth graders know who you are." He went to the Junior High school. I nodded.

We made it back to Andrew's house right as his dad arrived home from work. Andrew led the other two boys up the stairs, but I lingered at the bottom. I really wasn't up to extra socializing, despite how I did like Zack.

It wasn't often I had to be jealous, but I knew it was stupid.

"Hey there, Leandra." Richard greeted me as he walked in. "Feel like staying for dinner?"

"No thanks." I sighed. "I should probably get home." He smiled a little.

"Do you need a ride home?"

"No, thanks." I said again, smiling a little. "I'll walk. I just think I stayed longer than I should have."

"You sure?" He asked. "I don't mind."

"No, it's okay. I know the way like the back of my hand." I laughed quietly.

"I'll call your dad, at least." He said. "Let him know you're on your way. Be careful, sweetheart." He must have heard some things too. Either that, or he just wanted me to be careful anyway.

"Thanks." I said. "Good night."

I darted from the house, shaking my head a little at how stupid I was. I knew with this new bit of information, I did need to be careful. I just didn't know why nobody had told me about it before. Not that it would have changed what I did, but just so I could be prepared.

I jogged quickly toward main street, slowing once I remembered Zack's warning earlier. I was coming up on that park quickly, and I knew I should be careful. The streetlights were just coming on. I neared the corner of the park, glancing to the side.

My heart sank as I spotted a large group of girls, much older than myself, just leaving the park up ahead of me. That had to be them. I knew immediately that they saw me, their talking and laughter dying down. They paused in their walking, and one glance told me they'd changed their direction.

"Hey." I heard someone murmur to another. "Look. Is that her?" I tried to ignore them, walking faster once a few from the group started faster in my direction.

"Hey." One of them called. "Come here for a second, kid." Fat chance, bitch. I kept that thought to myself, walking just a bit faster. If they got any closer, I'd start running. Stupidly, I looked back at them, just as I stepped under a streetlight.

"That's her." Another confirmed, laughing at their apparent luck. It took them a few seconds, but the decision had been made. They started at a run toward me, and that got me going.

Without the welts and bruises, I could run pretty well.

Despite being faster than them for a good while, they didn't stop. They didn't change their minds, or give up. I was a twenty minute walk from home, maybe ten minutes running, but that didn't help me.

Passed the streetlights, passed the city limits, they chased me for a good while. I whimpered, trying to think. I couldn't keep that kind of running up for as long as I needed to. I knew when I started to slow down.

I felt a hand grab the back of my jacket and swing me to a breathless stop. I didn't think. I leaned in and bit. The one I bit squealed in pain, releasing her hold. I felt that, jumping back once I was free and running again. Stumbling a little in my fear.

Shit, shit, shit! I whimpered, running as fast as I could.

I was yanked to a stop once more and punched in the stomach before I could bite this one too. I lost my breath, dropping to the road. They laughed as I curled a little, trying to take a breath. Another quickly kicked me before I could. Knowing as long as I couldn't breathe, I wouldn't run.

Before another could kick me, I reached out and gripped one by their pantleg, yanking as hard as I could. She fell to the road, straight onto her back, hitting her head pretty hard. I quickly righted myself as the two others closed in at the same time.

I was pretty scared at that point, never having faced three people before. Much less, three much bigger than myself. I couldn't keep my eye on both of the ones standing at the same time, but it was the one on the ground that managed to get me back down. Pulling my leg out from under me, I fell, scraping my palms on the rough concrete.

Another kick to the stomach had involuntary tears come to my eyes, a sob of pain leaving me as I laid back, clutching my stomach.

"Aww." One of them laughed. "She's crying." I wasn't far from home, so I just had to make it that far.

"Hey." I actually started to cry at Alice's voice. "Is there a problem?" The group around me dispersed, and I rolled to get up as Alice approached. Jasper not far behind her.

"No problem here." One of the three laughed. "We just caught a rat, that's all."

"That 'rat' you're referring to is my sister." Alice was defensive. "I'd watch what you say. If you'd prefer, I can settle whatever you started with her." I looked up as Jasper helped me to my feet, and I felt so stupid just by the way he looked at me.

The oldest of the group of three scoffed. "Come on, guys. She's not worth our time."

"Watch yourself, rat." One of them called back at me. "You won't be so lucky next time." I whimpered again, holding tighter to my stomach.

"Any of you touch her again, you'll be dealing with me next." Alice warned them.

"We're not even yet, Cullen." She was warned right back. "We'll get that little psychopath soon enough." I _hated_ being called that.

"Keep moving." Jasper's tense voice next, and with my eyes on the ground, I listened to the three girls walking away. Their laughter fading away with them. A moment later, I remembered. I looked quickly to my palms before closing my hands into fists.

"Crap. Sorry." I stepped away from Jasper. "I-I'm bleeding a little."

"It's okay." Alice replied with a sigh. "We know. We're okay." I would know if they weren't okay. She looked at me. "Leandra, you could have really been hurt."

"I'm fine." I was still catching my breath, so it wasn't that believable.

"What happened?" Emmett showed up. To my surprise, Rose right behind him.

"Three older girls were chasing her." Alice answered. "High schoolers."

"Babe." Emmett called after a few seconds. "Remember, it's illegal to kill them."

"She's just going to talk to them." Alice murmured.

That surprised me. I wanted to smile, wondering if they were going to get a talking to that was anywhere near what I got a couple of months ago.

"You okay, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I nodded. "Let's get home."

I whimpered a little as he picked me up. He brought me around, settling me on his back. I clung to him now, wrapping my arms around his neck and locking them.

"Hang on, shorty." He said, and he started walking.

I only released my hold when we were inside, my shoes touching the couch. I still trembled, shaken up, but alright.

"Leandra." Carlisle was immediately there. "What happened?" I pulled away from his hands.

"I know." I mumbled. "I'm sorry." I jumped down off the couch, heading straight for the bathroom. I slammed the door and started the water. I leaned against the sink, waiting for it to get hot. Removing my jacket, I threw it onto the floor by the tub.

Looking up, I looked myself over. My nose was bruised. My left upper cheek was slightly swollen and sore, but it wasn't too bad. It wasn't any worse than the bruising I'd gotten during the fight with Noel earlier.

I rinsed off my hands, and raised my pantlegs to get to my knees. Getting all the dirt out of the wounds. It stung, but I just grit my teeth and dealt with it.

I raised my shirt over my stomach, sighing at the dark purple bruising I now had there. Luckily, they'd mostly left my ribs alone, so those were fine. I touched the new bruises, wincing a little.

Reaching under the sink once I was done, I rinsed the sink out with bleach and warm water. Knowing the drill by now. A handful of scrapes on my elbows still bled a little, and I hoped it wasn't enough to hurt them. I lifted my jacket, and opened the door, jumping at Esme standing there.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, stepping around her, headed for my room.

"Leandra." I'd gained Carlisle's attention as well, and he followed me into my room. "Do you know who did this?"

"It doesn't matter." I sniffled, sighing and sitting on my bed. He still expected an explanation. I looked down.

"Zack was the one that told me." I said. "Most of the kids at my school hate me. A lot of them are friends with everyone, so they take their side. Then, a lot of the friends of the kids I've hurt have older brothers and sisters, or friends in the middle school and high school.." I trailed off. "The ones I ran into today were probably friends of Noel's sister. Zack tried to warn me, but I left Andrew's house by myself anyway, and.. They saw me. I tried to run, Carlisle. I did, but they were faster."

He sighed, looking to Esme.

"I really am fine." I mumbled, shrugging. "Just a few scrapes from falling, a few more bruises from being kicked-"

"Kicked?" He asked, now concerned. "Show me."

"It's nothing serious." I insisted, looking up as he crossed the room. He sighed, sitting beside me. Trying to get a look at my cheek. I shook my head, standing. "I'm fine."

Those words had come out harsher than I meant them, and I looked down.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking at my hands. "I'm.. I-I'm more embarrassed than anything. I don't like running away. I hate it, but there was no way I could take three of them. Not alone."

"You're not to go anywhere else alone." Carlisle sighed, standing. I nodded, understanding perfectly. "Now, please. Humor me. Where did they kick you?"

"I'm fi-"

"Please?"

I groaned, but gave in. Lifting my shirt over my stomach, instantly gaining his attention. I felt so stupid, but I had to remind myself that it wasn't Carlisle's fault. He was just taking care of me.

I sighed, closing my eyes as I yawned. A minute went by as he looked over the bruising with a frown. "So? Am I going to live?"

"I'd say you got very lucky." He sighed, stepping back. "If you're going over to Andrew's house again, you'll have one of us go with you or we can drop you off."

"Okay." I agreed, nodding.

"Until we can somehow get this sorted out, I want you to be very careful." He continued. "And I want you to tell me if this happens again."

"Okay." I sighed again, sitting back down.

"I mean it." He said. "I don't want you to pretend it's nothing or try to hide it." He really did know me too well.

"But it's not your problem." I argued.

"It most certainly is." He countered. "Your safety is our highest priority. It is our job to protect you, but mine especially. That applies to outside this house just as much as it does to inside it." He paused, but I stayed quiet. "I understand how hard it can be to remember that you're not alone anymore. It's an adjustment, and how unstable the last year has been for you has only made that adjustment harder, but being a part of a family means never having to face these kinds of things alone. Whatever it is, no matter what you're going through, we're here to help you figure it out."

I appreciated that reminder.

I went to bed that night more sore than I had been in awhile. I wondered if they'd still make me go back to school. I curled into my blanket, feeling very insecure. If they made me go back, it'd only get worse. I knew that for a fact.

It was true, though. I was far more embarrassed than hurt. I probably could have fought back if it'd just been one, and I wouldn't have needed Alice to come save me again. I also hated that I had nobody to blame for this but me. I brought this on myself. I just wasn't sure I was ready for the consequences to come back to me.

 **A/N: I'm pretty okay with how this first chapter turned out. I won't draw this AN out, just because there isn't much to say. I hope it's a good start!  
THANK YOU to my reviewers of last story's last chapter! You guys are AWESOME!  
Chapter two needs a final go-over, but that comes after sleep. Geez I'm tired.  
Until Two, my friends! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**ImPORTANT NOTE: Possible trigger warning in this one! Very slight mentions of suicide exist. If you're sensitive to that, proceed with caution.  
DiSCLAIMER: In no way am I trying to glorify said subjects, and am adamantly against it. There are resources available to help anyone who wants to reach out.  
Sometimes I want to smack Leandra myself for the things she says, and this is one of those times.**

 **Onward.**

 **Chapter Two**

There I was. Sleeping. Not bothering anybody. Just minding my own business, and all was right with the world.

I jumped, yelping as I was suddenly pounced on. In instinct, I rolled. And when they held on, I rolled again, until I rolled us both off the side of the bed. Though still half asleep, I recognized Andrew's groan as we both hit the floor. The blanket and sheets landing on us.

"Andrew?" I gasped, rubbing my eye as I pushed myself up. "What the hell?" He was laughing, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sorry." He chuckled. "Esme said you were still sleeping, and I couldn't help myself."

"W-What time is it?" I was incredibly disoriented, so I must have been asleep for quite awhile. "Wait. Why are you here?"

"It's almost three, lazy butt." He stood, helping me up. I sat heavily on the side of the bed, surprised at the headache I had. "My dad brought me over here to see you."

"Wow." I mumbled. "I never sleep this long."

"You've been through a lot." He said, his smile fading. "After last night.."

"You heard about that?" I murmured sadly, looking down.

"Everybody's heard about it." He said as if it were obvious. "Leandra, the entire school was talking about it today." That was news to me. "I guess they were bragging about it. About how you ran away from them. It doesn't take long for something like that to get around." I groaned, laying to the side. "Especially not in a town where everybody knows everybody."

"My stomach hurts." I sighed, turning my face into the blanket. I grabbed a pillow, hiding my face under it.

"Leandra, I don't blame you for running." He said, shaking his head and taking the pillow from me so I didn't suffocate myself. "You're so much smaller than those three cows." I scoffed a little.

"Thanks." I replied, sitting back up. "I should have been braver, though. I can't believe I ran." I covered my face, humiliated.

"Really." He said. "If you hadn't ran, they would have probably smashed you." I looked down, realizing what he was saying was true. It didn't make me feel any better, though.

"What they did was so unfair." He paused. "Zack got suspended today."

"What?" I asked, looking over at him, surprised. "For what?"

"Hitting Ryan." He laughed a little. "Knocked him out first hit." My jaw dropped and I laughed a little.

"That sixth grader? What for?" I turned a little to face him. It was hard to imagine Zack fighting. I didn't know him that well, but he didn't exactly look like the fighting type. Then again, I probably didn't either.

"Zack was defending you." Andrew answered. "Ryan was saying all this crap about how you deserved it, and had just been begging for someone to do what they did to you. I would have hit him myself, but Zack got to him first."

"Wow." I muttered, trying to picture that.

"Yeah." Andrew replied. "You should see that kid fight. Perfect aim, perfect hit.. He just runs up, and swings. Bam. Ryan dropped, but Zack's the one that got into trouble." We both laughed a little.

"Who knew he had it in him?" I asked. "But no. Don't you go hitting people. Nothing they say is worth you getting into trouble for. And tell Zack to knock it off, too. It's one thing for me to fight at school, but I don't want your dad telling you to stay away from me."

"He gets it, Leandra." He shook his head. "He wouldn't do that."

"Just in case." I replied. "Be good, okay?"

"No promises." He said, taking my hand. He sighed, shaking his head. "I should have gone with you."

"No." I corrected. "Then you'd have probably gotten beat up too. Just for walking with me, like Josh said." He smiled sadly, keeping his eyes down. "I bet Josh just _loves_ me now after his brother got suspended for sticking up for me."

That got him to laugh a little.

"Why do you do it?" He asked, looking over and meeting my eyes. "Why do you fight? I mean, I get you getting mad over what they say, but.. I've never met anyone like you, Leandra. I just don't get why you get mad so easily. I've never known anyone who just.. Hits people like that." I looked down, unsure how to answer. He was quiet for a moment, before continuing quietly. "Dad says you're just misunderstood."

I sensed the conversation heading in a direction I was sensitive about. Our talks had never done that before, and I wasn't sure how to react. I'd never had to be defensive around him before, even with all the stuff with my mom. I looked over, meeting his eyes again.

"What happened?" He asked sadly. "To make you that way?" And there it was. The sensitive question. I was quiet. I hated being put on the spot like this.

"I just wanna know you better." He said after a minute of solid silence. "I mean, yeah, we always talk, but never about why you're so _mad_ all the time. Sometimes, it's like.. I don't know. Sometimes when I look at you, you're so sad. You seem so tired. Just worn out. Like you're handling something that you can't handle." He paused. "Like right now."

He saw more than I gave him credit for. I looked back down, my free hand smoothing my pajama pants. Something I always did when I was nervous.

"Then, when I look at you again, you're just.. Normal. Like what I'd seen before wasn't really there." He continued. "Then out of the blue, you're mad enough to hurt people. What happened?"

"I.." I couldn't make my voice work. I wanted to trust him, to tell him that I wasn't normal, but I was so afraid that he'd just leave. So I did what I always did when I was with him. I hid it. I forced a believable smile, shaking my head as I looked over. "Nothing. I just hate people, I guess."

He didn't believe me. Not one bit. Why was this coming up all of a sudden? Why did he have to suddenly look so close? I would have been perfectly happy with keeping things the way they were. When we could just hang out together and never have to bring up anything having to do with our past. My past was my biggest weakness, and though I knew he didn't know that, it irritated me that he'd poke me there.

I sighed, reaching over and grabbing a pillow. Smacking him upside the head with it.

"Don't be so serious." I said. "Tell me about Ryan. Did he make that funny sound when he hit the concrete?" He sighed, but laughed a little.

"Yeah." He replied. "He hit it pretty hard, too. Zack hurt his hand pretty bad, but I think he'll be okay."

"I gotta teach him how to throw a punch." I said, forcing myself to my feet. He hung onto my hand, refusing to let it go and standing with me. "And at least I know the principal suspends other people too. I was starting to think he just hated me."

He trailed after me as I left the room. I was surprised to find Richard still here, talking quietly with Esme and Carlisle in the living room.

"Ah." Richard said, having noticed my presence. "She lives. How are you feeling, honey?"

"Good." I lied. "Just a little sore." My head was still killing me.

"I should have insisted I drive you home." He said. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." I shook my head. "You did insist. You just knew you wouldn't win." He chuckled, shaking his head well.

"We were just discussing plans for you this weekend." Esme murmured, and I looked to her.

"For me?" I asked. "What plans?"

"Well, Edward and Bella are going on their trip to Florida this weekend, and we thought you wouldn't mind getting to spend some extra time with Andrew." She said. "To get you out of the house for awhile." I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, unsure. I've been getting out of the house all the time. Something in her eyes told me to just go with it.

"So.." I mumbled, not wanting to bring it up right then. "All weekend?"

"Friday evening to Sunday morning." She agreed, nodding.

"Sure." I said, smiling a little. I wouldn't question any extra time with Andrew out loud. Not right away, at least. I hadn't spent the night away from home before. Not since they'd been back, so I was a little nervous. Hesitant.

It was only Wednesday, so I had time to question once they'd left. Andrew and his dad left not long after that. I requested Andrew tell Zack thanks for me. He agreed, and offered me a smile. A normal one, like he always used to.

It made me nervous, because I knew he hadn't forgotten about the question he'd asked me before. Neither had I. It was the most pressing thing on my mind. Well, second most pressing thing.

"Can I ask what's going on?" I asked Esme, fighting with a bottle of Tylenol. "Or is it something you don't wanna answer?" I needed to take something for this headache. It was really getting to me.

"I'm not sure what you mean." She replied, smiling a little. I didn't trust that smile.

"Well.." I said. "Let's see. I almost got beat up yesterday, by walking through town. Staying out later than I should have, after getting into a fight that could have hurt another kid.." I groaned a little, biting the lid to the Tylenol bottle as if that would magically work to open it. "And now, I get to stay the weekend with a boy. With only a human to watch me. Something has to be- What the fuck?" I inspected the bottle, seeing if there was some sort of special code to the bottle. She gently took the bottle from me and opened it in under a second. Handing me one of the pills inside. "It must like you better." She laughed a little at that.

"We just think it might help you adjust." She replied. "It'll be good for you to spend some more time with your human friend." That made sense, so I only narrowed my eyes a little. I didn't ask any further.

"Just please." Carlisle stood with a sigh. "Stay out of trouble."

"Trouble finds me." I said. "It doesn't just find me. It hunts me down. I'll do what I can to stay away from it, but I can't promise anything." They knew I was being sarcastic. Something I couldn't help doing.

I sighed, sitting. I wanted to ask something, but I didn't know how to word it.

"Esme, I have a question." I mumbled quietly. She looked my way, letting me know she was listening. "How.." I paused, pursing my lips a little. "How do you.. Keep people from looking too closely?" She seemed confused, so I sighed. "Andrew's noticed I'm not normal. He asked me about it today. I don't want to tell him the truth."

"Why not?" Carlisle asked, interested.

"Because it'll just.. Freak him out. He won't wanna be around me anymore. Besides, something like that is too much for someone like him. I don't want to weigh him down."

"Honey." Esme smiled, trying to comfort me. "It's not that he sees that you're not normal. He sees what we see. That you're struggling, and having a hard time with something. He only wants to help you, and the best way he knows to do that, is to ask you what's bothering you." That made sense, too.

"He's nervous." I glanced back as Jasper and Alice descended the stairs. "He's scared for you."

I shook my head a little. "That still doesn't.. I mean, I don't want to lie to him, but.. I can't tell him the truth. Going there this weekend is just going to make it harder."

"You trust him, don't you?" Jasper asked, and I sighed.

"Yeah, I do, but-"

"Then tell him." He said. "Leandra, there is a reason you trust him the way you do. There's a reason you get along so well with him."

"Because he never gave up." I replied quietly. "He's done a lot for me, too."

"Exactly." He said. "Every single person you've ever known in your life has failed you. At one point or another, they've all hurt you. Given up, moved on, left you behind." I looked down. "Hit you, or broke your heart. Be it physical, or emotional, all you've experienced is pain. Even we've hurt you. Unintentionally, but we've added to that. Andrew is different. He's been there with you this entire time, and never once hurt you." I didn't know what to say. "You're not worried about weighing him down. You're protecting yourself."

"I know I don't have to.."

"Wrong." He replied. "Leandra, it's not about have to or don't have to. It's about what _is_. This is more complicated than trying to figure out a way to keep him from looking too closely. Just the thought, the very idea of letting him in scares you." He paused. "It absolutely terrifies you because once you tell him, that'll give him all he needs to hurt you."

He wasn't wrong. I just hadn't realized how right he was before.

"You're afraid of being vulnerable." He went on. "And you know that telling him will put you into a very vulnerable position. You trust him, but you're afraid. You're afraid that he'll turn out just like the rest. You're afraid that he'll wind up doing what everybody else in your life has done."

I kept my eyes down. I hated how Jasper saw everything.

"He's afraid for you, and just wants to understand, but you're afraid that when he finally understands, he'll turn around and use it against you. Or even that he'll accept it, but somehow, you'll still wind up losing him." Jasper translated my emotions better than I could. "The only way for you to know for sure, is to tell him. Let yourself be an open book, so to speak, just to find that reassurance. That little something that tells you that he isn't like the rest. Do you follow?"

I kept quiet, sighing.

"It's not about him looking too closely." Jasper murmured. "It's about you being afraid to trust him not to hurt you, whether intentionally or unintentionally, once he understands."

"I hate how you're always right." I grumbled, standing. He chuckled.

"Sorry, Leandra." He replied. "My advice? Don't close yourself off. Taking these risks is a part of living. Of being human."

"Too bad that isn't something I can do." I grumbled. "I'll figure something out. Maybe he'll believe I was raised by wolves." I sighed, leaving the room. Understanding my dilemma didn't make it any easier to solve. So I was afraid of trusting. Who knew?

To my surprise, Jasper followed.

"Leandra, would you mind a word?" He asked, and I shrugged a little.

"I don't mind." I said, though I knew he'd talk to me whether I minded or not. He nodded, following me into my room.

He closed the door behind himself, and sighed, turning as I sat on my bed.

"What's up?" I asked, though I knew it was something pretty heavy if it bothered him this badly. He glanced to the door as if he were hoping someone would come in and do this for him.

"I'm concerned." He began. "To put it mildly. We all are."

"About what?" I found myself confused.

"We've been back in your life for close to two months now." He reasoned, and I shook my head a little, looking back down. It was that subject. "And so far, you're still alone. Let me explain."

I waited as he paused, gathering his thoughts.

"When Carlisle and Esme intitially made the decision to foster you, it wasn't on a whim. It was for a reason, Leandra."

"I know." I mumbled.

"It was so you'd have somewhere to go, with someone you trusted." He continued. "After what you'd been through, there was no other place Carlisle trusted enough to take you than with us."

"I know." I sighed again.

"I understand the need to take your time. I do. Believe me, it's only understandable." He paused.

"But?" I asked.

"But.." He sighed. "You only seem to be closing yourself off more. Instead of trying to trust again, the main reason they took you in in the first place. You're hesitant. Your reactions, your emotions. The things you say tell me you're holding back. Hiding."

"I know I am." I murmured, and that seemed to surprise him. "Jasper, I'm not the same. I'm never gonna be the same person I was before you left. I thought everyone got that."

"We do." He said. "We only want a little bit of your tension to ease between being out there, and coming home. From what I've seen, you're as defensive when you're home as when you're at school."

"Not true." I shook my head. "I'm just.. I dunno.. Defensive in another way."

"I haven't noticed a difference." He reasoned. "That display yesterday? With Alice? That's the same reaction you give others."

"I didn't mean to snap at her like that." I looked down, sighing. "I know she didn't deserve it. I'm just so tired of people pointing out things I can't get right. Everything I do wrong. I know she didn't mean to make it sound like that, but that's how I saw it." I stood. "Jasper, it's not that I don't want to trust you, it's-"

"You can't." He said. "I get it."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm having a hard time getting to know myself." His eyes narrowed in confusion. "Carlisle says that Jack isn't right. That everything he ever told me was a lie. Jasper, I can't find a difference in what he told me, and how I feel.." I trailed off for a breath.

"I'm trying to learn to trust myself, before I try to trust someone else." I explained quietly. "It's hard to do that. Plus, everybody else around here hates me just as much as I hate myself." His eyes studied me. "I can't help but believe what someone else tells me about myself, because I don't see where they're wrong, but.. If what they say is all I am, then what do I do?"

I sat back down, my arms hugging my stomach.

"It's not that I don't trust you. I don't trust anything."

I knew my little rant was confusing. It was confusing enough to hopefully make him see how confused I was about myself. I'd never really explained it this way before. I'd started to with Carlisle the day before, but he calmed me down before I could continue.

"What do I do, Jasper?" I asked. "Because I don't know."

"You're overwhelmed. You're trying too hard to figure out why things happened the way they did." He paused. "When you really should be focusing on how much what happened has changed you."

"Changed me, how?" I asked, frowning a little.

"You're right." He replied. "You're not the same, but you're trying to be. You want to be the same as you were before we left you, and that's never going to happen. You're trying to solve things, to find a solution by thinking the way you used to. Maybe you should just take a step back, and take a look around you before trying to move forward."

"I can't do that." I shook my head, frustrated.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because if I stop moving forward, I won't wanna start again." His eyes narrowed. "I'm so close to giving up already." That was something I'd never admitted before. Not to anyone.

"Giving up?" He asked, surprised. "What exactly does that mean?"

"You know." I said, shrugging a little as I looked back down. "Just.. Taking the hint. Giving up. It wouldn't be hard to."

"You can't just give up." He replied firmly. "I don't understand."

"Yeah." I sighed. "I know you don't."

"Whatever it is, we can figure out a way."

"There isn't a way." I finally snapped. "I wish everyone would just stop bugging me about the way I am. Sometimes I think everyone would just be better off if I was dead."

I knew I'd shocked him by saying that. How much, I was just about to find out.

"I'm sorry." I heard Emmett call loudly from the other room. "I don't think I heard you right. _What_?"

Both Jasper and I ignored him, but I had to look up at Jasper's silence.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear my ten-year-old little sister say that." To my surprise this time, he was angry. I turned, looking at him.

"You're mad?" I asked, nervously now.

"Yes." He replied. "I'm quite angry."

"Why?"

"It was explained to you long ago that no matter how bad things seem, it always gets better." He murmured, carefully controlling his tone. "And you're willing to.. What? Just throw all of that away? You don't even know what you're saying."

Once my initial surprise passed, his anger triggered my own. Whether he meant it to or not, it did. My eyes narrowed, and instantly, I was defensive again. I knew he felt that too, which only made me more defensive.

Oddly, it felt a lot like how I felt before every fight at school. I suddenly felt too mean. I knew my anger was probably not helping his anger, but I couldn't help it.

"Maybe it doesn't get any better for me." I said sharply. "Maybe it only gets better for certain people. Maybe this all I get. Maybe I was just.. Born to be the one people hurt when they wanna feel better about themselves. I don't wanna live if that's all I get."

"Leandra, stop talking." Jasper said tightly. "I don't want to hear this. Not from you."

"You asked how I was feeling!" I shouted. "This is it! What? Am I supposed to lie to you too? Act like everything is just fucking fine? I'm not normal!"

"You're not even trying." He growled. "You're not giving it enough time."

I hesitated, panting a little in my anger. Holding his gaze for several seconds. My breathing trembled with how hard I fought with myself.

Don't reply, I told myself. Don't say anything. Don't. Do. It. Don't fucking do it!

I growled in return. "I am trying! You're not in my head twenty-four-seven. You don't know what I live with!" I bit my tongue, turning with a sob through clenched teeth. Fighting so hard to get myself under control.

"I'd know, if you'd talk to us." He replied. "Leandra, we want to help you, but we can't help you if you don't let us."

"You don't wanna help me." I shook my head. "Nobody does. Why don't you all just do what everybody does? Give up. Just.." I tried hard to stop myself, but I couldn't. "Just make it easy on yourself. Throw it away, and never look at it again. You'd be better off if I wasn't around making your lives hell, anyway. Everybody would be better off."

"Leandra-"

"Just go. Get out." I growled, turning to look at him. "I'm done. Don't worry. I'll wait until later to kill myself."

I knew the second I said it that I'd chosen the _wrong_ threat to fling.

I was partly confused that nobody rushed in to yell at me. Maybe they were trusting Jasper to handle it? I didn't get a chance to concentrate too much on that, as Jasper actually replied to what I said instead of doing as I said.

"Now you listen to me." His tone changed so much, it took me off guard. "If you ever say those words again, I will personally see to it that you change your tune."

I could see I'd started an argument with someone as stubborn and hard-headed as I was. I wasn't backing down, and neither was he.

"No you won't." I scoffed, and his eyes narrowed.

"Don't test me." He shook his head. "The way you're talking, what you're saying is so unbelievably selfish."

Ha. _What_?

"Selfish?" I asked. "You think I'm being _selfish_? _I'm_ being selfish?" My voice rose each time I asked that. "What about _you_? Last time I checked, you're the selfish one! I'm not the one that breaks every promise you ever made to someone for your own selfish reasons!"

This was already so much worse than anything I'd said before, and if I didn't get myself under control soon, it would get even worse. His eyes had narrowed, and I knew he was upset with me.

Leandra, shut up! Shut up! Shut up, shut up! Shut the hell up! Despite telling myself that, I continued.

"You're the selfish one, Jasper! Not me! I'd be doing everybody a motherfucking favor-"

"Take a step back." To my surprise, Esme actually did walk in. "Both of you." There was no arguing with her tone. "Jasper, walk away."

But he wasn't ready to, and neither was I.

"Why?" I scoffed. "He-" I cut off as Jasper spoke up.

"No. Listen to me now. It's my turn to talk." His firm voice wasn't a shout, but it did the trick. "You want so badly to be heard and listened to, but that goes both ways, and you've gone far enough your direction. I don't need to hear anymore. Let's just tone that down a little bit."

I glanced down briefly. With no warning whatsoever, every bit of my anger was gone, but instead of covering everything, he left me with the emotion that always sparked my anger. The pain. The swelling emotional heartbreak that always hid just below the anger I showed.

He left that there, but without the anger there to ease it, I felt it full force and that was enough to make me sit down on the side of my bed. I couldn't even breathe at first, much less cry. He knew what he was doing. I knew he hated turning my emotions against me, but I also knew I didn't leave him much choice. This was just as painful as any physical hit I'd ever gotten.

"You can give up on your life all you want, Leandra, but don't you dare expect us to do the same." Jasper went on firmly. "As long as I'm around, you have no choice but to keep going, because I'll always be a step behind you, pushing you forward when you choose to stop."

I was quiet, so he continued.

"Don't you assume to know what it's like. Don't you dare tell me I haven't tried, because you and I both know that is unbelievably false." My eyes stayed on his. "You will not use that language or that tone again. Carlisle might not correct you, but I sure as hell will."

"Thank you!" I heard Emmett call from the living room.

"You will settle down. You will stop with the disrespect, because I know you know better than that. You will not even think about those words again." I carefully bit my slightly trembling lower lip, nodding. "Am I clear?"

"Yes." I whimpered.

"There will be no more talk of 'ending it'." He said. "Am I clear?"

"Yes." I said again. "I'm sorry." He sighed, hearing my tone. I'd calmed significantly. Under all the pain, I now saw clearly how completely out of line I had gone.

"Good." He replied sharply. "If you ever.. Ever utter those words again.." He trailed off, shaking his head. I looked down, closing my eyes at remembering exactly what I'd said. Words could not describe exactly how ashamed I was of myself at that moment. I was sure he had something to do with that too.

"Leandra, I didn't want to do that." He said after a minute of complete silence. "Anger is your way of coping with that pain you feel. It's your mind's natural defense against it, but it's spilling over into every aspect of your life. That includes us now, I guess."

"I know." My voice was tight, but right before I could start to cry, he eased some of the pain too. He left just enough for me to feel it, but not enough to overwhelm me.

"Going through life blinded by that anger is a sure way to lose." He went on as my tears scattered free. "That pain you feel is there to teach you things nobody else can. Maybe you need to spend some time with it to really understand just how wrong you are. That's what's going to happen. You're going to sit in here for awhile, and use that time to think about correcting all the areas of your behavior that desperately need correcting." It wasn't an option. I nodded silently. "Okay."

With that, he turned. Striding from the room, and shutting the door behind him. Esme stayed. He wasn't gone three seconds before I was curled up on my bed, in real tears. Sighing, Esme sat on the side of my bed.

I did understand, which was why it was effective. I knew everything he was saying about that pain, and the anger I used to protect myself. I'd just never had that anger taken away, and having that pain used against me the way it was was sure an eye-opener. Jasper was correcting me, which to be honest, was needed.

I'd been treating my family worse and worse, and talking that way to them was wrong. Saying those things to Jasper was incredibly uncalled for. Shouting what I'd shouted, I knew, hurt the entire family. Threatening to take my life like it didn't even matter was exactly enough to push Jasper far enough to react.

He'd never physically hit me, I was sure of that, but using the way I felt against me like that was more than effective enough.

I knew I was in the wrong. I knew it. I'd known it while I was doing it, but I'd never expected that, which was just enough to get me to change my tune like he said he would. It didn't hurt as bad anymore. I still cried, though. Not because he did it, but because of how I acted. I felt terrible. Horrible for pushing him that far. It only added to that heartbreak.

I cried for about thirty minutes, but I continued to lay there. Thinking. Esme stayed with me, sitting quietly. I knew she didn't disagree, but she didn't want to leave me in here alone. Adding more pain to my already hurting heart, I realized why. I honestly hadn't meant the things I said, but she wasn't going to take chances. I'd scared her.

I examined it, though. Like he suggested. I got to know the pain I did feel, and it told me things I didn't want to hear. I was hurting so badly over the things that happened to me in my life. I'd known that before, but having all those scars out in the open again, without the anger over them like a band-aid, told me I'd been doing it wrong. I had just been making them worse the more I lashed out.

I should have been holding onto my family, not pushing them away. What Carlisle said finally started to sink in. I needed to figure out how to not be so independent, even if that's all they wanted before. I had a family now. I needed to start acting like it. I had to let them help me.

I made a promise to myself then that I would hold my tongue around my family. No matter how mad I got at them, I would refuse to throw everything back at them. I _had_ been acting selfishly. It wasn't fair to them for me to place all the blame I had on myself onto them. It wasn't fair to them for me to place all the blame I held for everybody else onto them. Not when they cared the most for me.

After enough thinking, I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered into my pillow. I felt like I needed to apologize to Esme first, because she'd stayed with me. I didn't mean to let her down so hard.

"Leandra.." She sighed, turning a bit to face me easier. "There's no way you could have known it, but that's one of our biggest fears. That, right there, is how you scare an entire house of vampires."

I looked down.

"We don't want to lose you." Her voice really reflected her emotion, and I hated that it rivaled my own.

"I didn't mean it."

"I'm afraid that doesn't work in this case." She murmured. "Honey, words like that aren't just words. You cannot just say things like that, and then try to fix it later. It's not a game, Leandra. _That_ is not something to play around with, and it's certainly not something for you to use as a _weapon_ against us. It is _not_ funny."

I didn't like her scolding. She had the softest, gentlest scolding voice I'd ever heard, but at the same time, it was far more effective than the loudest shouting voice I'd heard.

"I know." I whimpered. "I know it's not funny. I wasn't trying to be funny."

"There are other ways to get your point across." She said. "Of course we would want you to come to us if you're ever actually feeling like that, so we can do something about it, but when you play with it, that's very wrong. Do you understand the difference?"

I sniffled, nodding into my pillow. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to be apologizing to, Leandra." She told me. "Every one of us love you and care about you more than you can ever possibly imagine. You've hurt a lot of hearts today, but I'm not the one that needs your apology the most." I laid quietly, but I knew she was right. "So what do you think you should do?"

Without any more prompting, I sat up with a tearful sniffle and headed for the door. I paused, looking back as Esme stayed seated on my bed. She had her eyes down, and the sadness I saw in her expression was something I absolutely never wanted to see again.

I felt sick that I was the one that caused it.

I stepped carefully out of my room, hoping it was okay to come out. Nobody told me not to, so I wandered slowly up the hall. As full as the living room was, it was eerie how silent it was.

I kept my eyes down, glancing up now and then through tears. I noticed I had everyone's attention. Aside from Jasper, who kept his eyes down.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "For how I was acting before. It wasn't right, and I know I never should have said the things I said." I paused, waiting for someone to say something.

Nothing came, so I kept trying. I looked to Jasper as he looked to me. His expression was a very controlled sort of disappointment and calm.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. For what I said to you. I was just mad, I guess, but that doesn't mean I should say those things. And.." I paused, looking down. "Thank you. For shutting me up." He looked back down as well. "I won't do it again. I promise never to yell at you guys again, but I can't promise anything when it comes to everybody else."

My voice was a lot quieter when I spoke again.

"Just please.." I fought a losing battle against the tears in my eyes and my voice. "Don't give up on me. I'm just scared. Don't give up on me." I glanced up as Carlisle stood, looking to him now. "Please. I'm trying. I don't know what I'm doing, and it might take some time to figure it out, but I swear. I am trying as hard as I can."

I watched as Carlisle crossed the room to me, sniffling quietly.

"It's just so hard." I whimpered, closing my eyes around the few tears that scattered down my cheeks. "I get so sad sometimes. I'm sorry. I'm trying the best way I know how. I don't know why I said that, but.. Please don't give up on me."

He didn't reply right away, only lifting me into a hug. I didn't hesitate in returning it this time. I was just grateful he hugged me at all. After what I'd said.

"Never." He said. "We've never given up, or lost hope in you, Leandra. Not once. It's never wavered, or faltered. And it never will. No matter how much time passes. No matter what you say, or what you do, we will never lose our faith in you.

"I know you're trying. I see your efforts. I see them, and I want you to know how proud I am of you. Even if you lose your faith in yourself, ours will always be there. Even if you give up on yourself, we never will. It takes much more than you're capable of to make us give up. You can cry, scream, curse at us all you want. It will not change how much we care about you."

"Like it or not, shorty," Emmett spoke almost solemnly from the couch. "You're stuck with us."

Having myself comforted this way, even after I'd said all I'd said, meant more to me than I even thought possible. It was exactly what I needed to begin trusting them again, and after I calmed down, I found it easier to breathe.

So close to how it used to be, but not quite there yet. I knew it'd be some time before it got to that point, but now that I just partly believed that they weren't going anywhere, I felt just a shred of hope returned to me.

I was starting to see that they really did mean it.

"I'm sorry." Jasper spoke finally. "For.. That."

"I'm not." I said, shaking my head. "I know why you did it. I was.. So far out of line, I couldn't even see it anymore." I sighed heavily, sniffling quietly and making no move to hop down. "It won't be needed again. I promise."

"Good." Jasper replied. "Because that bothered me so much. My ability is supposed to be used to help people. Not turn their emotions against them like that."

"Don't worry." I murmured. "It's okay."

"Does this mean you're going to be fun again?" Emmett asked. "Not some angry little animal?"

"No promises." I mumbled, but smiled a little. His description was so accurate, it was funny. I thought of something, looking to Carlisle. "I'm not grounded or anything am I? I mean, I get it if I am, but.. I still kind of wanna go to Andrew's on Friday."

"No, Leandra. You'll still be going to his house." I nodded, relieved. "But how well you behave there will determine whether or not you go back." I pursed my lips in nervousness, sighing. "I mean it. No fighting. I have to believe that you'll be safe."

"Just watch a ton of movies while you're there." Emmett suggested. "Sit around and do nothing like a normal kid."

"No fighting." I said. "I won't."

Thursday passed, and I tried even harder.

I stayed out in the living room longer than I had in awhile, instead of hiding myself away like I usually did. Spending more time with Esme. Even managing to joke a little with Emmett. I found it easier to interact with them, what Jasper did having turned me right around. That little bit of correcting was exactly what I'd needed. He didn't over-do it. Not even close.

I knew what he'd done bothered him. Using my emotions against me like that. It would bother him for awhile, but it also told me he cared. Knowing how much it bothered him, and him being worried enough about how I acted to do it, told me what I needed to know. What I wasn't allowing myself to listen to before.

I didn't have to be at Andrew's until after dinner on Friday, so I was there when everybody else got home from school and work.

Late Friday afternoon, just before dinner, I stepped into the living room to find the news on. Again. Emmett and Jasper sat watching it closely, and I sat down between them on the couch. It seemed like they never stopped talking about Seattle.

I was quiet as I watched along with them. The disappearances and murders were growing quickly in the large city. The fact that it was enough for people to take notice worried me. Normally, things like this wasn't the only thing the news focused on. Now that it was, meant it must have been really bad.

The station went to a commercial, and Jasper muted the TV with a sigh.

"Sorry." I said, looking over at him. "Want me to move?"

"No." He replied, shaking his head. "No, it isn't you."

"Why is everyone so worried about what's going on in Seattle?" I asked, stretching my feet out to touch the coffee table in front of me. "They'll catch the guy soon, and it'll be over."

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself with." Jasper sighed.

"Well, I noticed that the TV hasn't changed channels. Unless it's to another news channel. Why would what happens in Seattle matter to us? It's over three hours away."

"Don't worry about it." Emmett told me with a smile. "So, you excited, shorty?" I took the hint with his obvious attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah." I admitted quietly. "Should be fun. If he doesn't look too close. That movie idea doesn't sound so bad now. Just so he has something to watch besides me."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it." Jasper said. "It'll work itself out. One way or another."

I thought about that, shaking my head a little. "I hope you're right."

Carlisle was the one that took me over there. I was nervous for reasons I couldn't understand. It was more than just hoping he wouldn't look too close. It was something else. Like a knot building in my stomach.

"Remember." I glanced back at Carlisle before I opened the car door. "Behave."

"I will." I said quietly. "Don't worry."

"I always will." He replied and I smiled a little, shaking my head as I stepped out.

He walked me to the door, even though I told him he didn't have to. It made sense when he wanted to talk with Richard, but Andrew was already leading me up the stairs.

"So how does this work?" I asked as we made it to his room.

"What?" He asked, laughing a little.

I hesitated. "I've never slept over at anyone's house before. Where.. Uh.." He seemed to understand.

"Well, you can sleep in my bed if you want, and I'll get the floor." He offered. "Or I can get the bed, and you the floor, or we can just sort of both camp on the floor. Or we can sort of trade off. I'm okay with whatever."

"I'll get the floor." I shrugged. It really didn't bother me. He nodded.

"Okay." He said. "If you change your mind, just tell me. You can leave your stuff anywhere." I neatly set my bag beside his dresser.

We returned downstairs to find Carlisle and Richard finishing their discussion.

"Don't worry about anything." Richard chuckled. "I promise, she'll be fine. She's always been very well behaved here."

Truthfully, I had.

After a few nervous goodbyes, I let him leave.

I figured out what I was nervous about that night. Before we'd even gone to sleep, I realized how much time I still had before I could go home. I was homesick already, and I'd only been there three hours.

We sat together on the couch, watching the end of some movie on TV before bed, but I wasn't paying any attention to it.

As much time as I'd spent with Andrew before, and as comfortable I was around him, this was hard on me. I hadn't spent the night away from home since they'd been back, and again, the familiar fear of them leaving while I was away crept into my stomach. Especially after the things I'd said the other day. Despite how often I was reassured, I was so afraid of being forgotten about.

It was a very painful feeling.

What if they didn't add me to their list of things to take? What if I'd completely blown any chances I'd had of ever belonging to them? Sure, Carlisle said they'd never give up on me. That didn't mean they wanted me to be their problem. Was that why they insisted I come here? So they could move away again?

That thought alone had me crying, to my horrible embarrassment.

"Hey." I looked away as Andrew saw my emotional state down my cheeks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I cried, despite how I couldn't even look at him.

"Really." He said. "It's okay. You can tell me."

"I can't control my thoughts sometimes." I kept my face turned away.

"Oh. Don't even worry about it." He replied. He wasn't amused in the slightest, and that helped a little. "You're probably just homesick. Um.. Do you want to call them?"

"No. I already feel stupid."

"Don't." He insisted, leaning over and reaching for the phone. "Here. I'll even do it for you, so you don't have to feel bad." I couldn't help smiling a little. He smiled at me in return, easing my embarrassment even more. "Your dad said to call any time, right? For any reason? I don't think he'll mind."

I almost couldn't believe how nice he was being about this, not seeming in the least amused by my tears, but then again, I quickly realized that I wouldn't expect him to be.

I felt so stupid, but I let him call Carlisle for me. I sat there, blushing so bad as Andrew stood there explaining the situation over the phone. He didn't even seem embarrassed at all.

I was glad I let him, because it helped. A lot. After talking with Carlisle a little bit, I was fine. I heard no hint of what I'd heard in his voice last fall, and that eased me enough to be okay with going to sleep.

We fell asleep around eleven, me on my little nest of blankets made on the floor and Andrew on his bed next to me.

By glancing to the clock on the bedside table, I knew it was just passed two-thirty when Andrew woke me up. He was kneeling beside me on the floor, so I blinked up at him, surprised by my wet hair and pillow.

"You were crying." He whispered, concerned. "Bad dream?"

I whimpered, rolling over and covering my face as I realized what must have happened. That was something I hadn't even thought about. I had no way of explaining why I was crying in my sleep.

"I'm sorry." I cried. "I know I'm weird."

"No you're not." He frowned. "You're not weird. Why would you say that?" He gently rolled me back over, so he could look at my face. "You've just never spent the night at anyone's house before. It's okay, Leandra." He gave me a smile. "Really."

I laid there for a minute, looking up at him.

"I just don't like to see you cry." He said, obviously feeling a little embarrassed himself. "So I try to do what I can to keep that from happening."

There it was. That small something that told me he wasn't like the rest. If I'd not spent the night here, I'd probably never have seen it. He seemed a little uncomfortable, so I offered a small, brief smile, looking down at my hands on my stomach. Blinking left over tears from my eyes, I sighed.

As much as seeing that small something comforted me, it also worried me. It worried me because I knew I'd have to trust him soon. Whether I wanted to or not, I'd wind up trusting him. The last person I'd trusted enough to outright tell about Jack was Carlisle. The last person I'd even considered telling was Carlisle. Even talking to Charlie about it was for Carlisle.

I winced at the memory of Jack, my stepfather.

Reaching up and covering my eyes with the heels of my palms. Memories of him were something I still battled on a daily basis. Memories of all he'd do to me still hurt me, even if he was gone now.

It was those memories, that past with him that I was faced with telling Andrew now. I knew it wouldn't be tonight that I'd have to tell him, but it was still closer than I thought never would be.

"If the floor is uncomfortable.." He murmured. "There's a whole other half of my bed I'm not using. If you want. I won't mind."

I laughed a little at the way he said that, causing him to smile also. I nodded a little, sitting up. He quickly stood, and offered his hand to help me up.

"Can I have the side that's open?" I asked. His bed was situated in the corner.

"Sure." He said, pulling the blanket back all the way. He climbed in first, sitting with a small bounce nearest the wall. "Can I ask why?"

"I just.. Feel better." I said, sheepishly. "I can't sleep if there's something near my face. Blankets, pillows, walls, or whatever. It makes me feel closed in."

"Okay." He said, offering me a smile. "Just curious." I sighed and sat. Scooting under the blanket, and laying down. Facing the room. The light was turned out, and I found it surprisingly too easy to fall back to sleep. Even with his weight behind me.

 **A/N: I know this chapter is going to be the one to get me my very first bad review. Never in my entire FanFic career have I ever gotten a bad review, but now is as good a time as any, I suppose. Go easy on me. :{  
Just a quick reminder, though. I don't think Leandra is built for an easy life. There's a lot of me in her, and I know when things start going good, something always comes up to ruin that or I sabotage myself.  
ANYWAY!  
** **THANK YOU to my reviewers of chapter one! THANK YOU! You're awesome!  
** **Three shouldn't take too long. About as long as this one did, maybe less? Who knows lol  
** **Until Three, guys! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

For the second time in a week, I was pounced on to be woken up. I opened my eyes to find late morning light filling the room, so I couldn't be too irritated, but I really was.

I rolled quickly away, but luckily, it wasn't me being aimed at. Andrew grunted as Zack pinned him under the blanket, laughing hysterically.

"Next time somebody pounces on me like that, I'm getting up swinging." I grumbled, climbing to my feet.

"Good morning to you too, sleeping beauty." I glared at Josh by the door.

"Oh, god. It's you." I growled.

"You know you like me." He said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Let him up." I told Zack, laughing a little.

"Never." He said, grinning.

I narrowed my eyes. It was the weirdest feeling. I was annoyed, but I was amused. The whole time we stared each other down, Andrew struggled under Zack's full weight.

I reached up and pushed Zack to the side, but he grabbed my arm as I did so, and him falling pulled me off balance. I yelped as I landed on the bed, and this time, it was me pinning Andrew under the blanket as Zack moved around and sat on my upper back.

I couldn't believe how fast he pulled that off. I was about to get _really_ angry, but the sound of Zack's laughter, to my surprise, brought mine forward. Breathlessly, I laughed.

Zack only sat there long enough to make a point before he let me up.

"How did you do that?" I asked, pushing myself up. It really interested me, because he made his point, overpowering me without hurting me. I wanted to know how the hell that was possible.

"Me." Josh laughed from his spot.

"We wrestle all the time." Zack explained, and that seemed normal to them. Andrew climbed out of bed as well, giving Zack a look.

"Teach me?" I requested. "How'd you do that?"

"Are you sure you wanna find out?" He grinned, and I nodded. "Okay. Well, when you know you're gonna fall anyway, grab onto any part of them you can." As a test, I reached out as quickly as I could and pushed him. He literally grabbed onto my forearms before I could finish pushing him over, and I flew forward.

Zack wasted no time. He brought his leg up and over, trapping me on one side before he rolled us over. He crossed my arms and pinned them in place. I attempted to bite him, but he pulled his one hand away.

"Hey!" Zack corrected. "No biting." That was apparently was against the rules. Josh's laughter was loud, but then again, so was mine. It didn't take me long to figure it out.

The next ten minutes were spent wrestling with Zack. Josh stood back, shaking his head, watching as Zack attempted to get a good hold on me again. Being unable to, as I squirmed away too easily, in fact pinning him the same way he'd first pinned me. By sitting on his back and holding on for dear life. Until Andrew stepped up on the bed behind me.

I thought he was going to help, but instead he turned around, squished me forward and sat on my back. I was folded, but under me, Zack was laughing too hard to breathe.

"You guys are destroying my bed." Andrew said. "If you're gonna kill each other, move it to the floor."

"I would, if you'd stop smashing me." I grunted, squirming. He moved a little, kneeling off to the side, nearest the edge of the bed. I caught my breath a bit. Waiting a second before launching myself at Andrew. Knocking him to the floor as Zack followed closely. I rolled away while he and Zack continued to wrestle, laughing quietly.

I was actually surprised Richard didn't come upstairs, with all the thumping against the floor and walls. I assumed it was because this was a normal occurrence between them.

"Alright." Josh strode forward and knocked their heads together. "Knock it off you two." They separated, laughing as they rubbed the spot they hit, so I knew it wasn't very hard. "By the way. Nice pajamas, Leandra. You look like a girl." I looked down at my pajamas. Pink plaid bottoms, and matching pink cotton t-shirt.

"I am a girl, dumbass." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Is that any way for a lady to speak?" He chuckled. I rolled my eyes, turning away. I had a feeling he was just picking on me, but I really couldn't tell. It was safer for me to keep up my guard until I could tell for sure.

"Anyway." Josh continued. "You two are coming over to our house today." He pointed to both Andrew and I.

"What?" I asked. "Why?"

"Because my dad rented a whole bunch of movies, and it's better than sitting around doing nothing." Well, it didn't matter so much where we watched movies, I guessed. Since that was in the original plan, I figured it couldn't hurt.

"Okay." I shrugged. "We just have to get there quick. I'm not supposed to be out walking around."

"Oh yeah." Josh laughed. "The whole town hates you."

"Thanks." I spat, turning to my bag.

"Hey, I honestly forgot, okay?" He asked firmly. "It's pretty hard to make a whole town hate you."

"Actually, it's pretty easy." I mumbled, pulling out a shirt and jeans. I'd taken a shower the night before, so I didn't have to worry about that. I wouldn't stink yet.

I didn't bother to leave the room to change clothes. I wasn't shy. I shed my pajama bottoms first, yanking on my jeans without them seeming to notice at all. However, once I turned my back to them and shed my shirt, I'd gained their attention.

"What happened to your back?" Andrew asked, shocked. I paused, confused at first. Thinking he was referring to the slight bruising I still had from the fight the other day, but I didn't remember getting any bruises there. Then I remembered about the scars. Both from Jack's belt, and when I was shot. I bit my lip, hastily pulling on my t-shirt.

"Long story." I mumbled, shaking my head. Zack and Andrew seemed okay to let it go, but Josh's narrowed eyes on me was what made me uncomfortable.

He didn't ask, but I had a feeling I had found another person who wanted to look too closely. That wasn't a problem anymore, but it bothered me enough to tell myself not to do that again.

With a quick okay from Richard, we set off for the next block. I had a feeling I would be okay getting there, because I was in the middle of three boys.

"Okay." Josh muttered to me as we rounded the corner onto their block. "Just some advice. Don't freak out." I looked over at him incredulously, my steps faltering a bit.

"Don't freak out about what?" I asked nervously.

"Andrew told us how much you hate meeting new people, and my dad isn't the best one to test that on."

"He's a big guy." Zack explained, giving me an apologetic smile.

"Bigger than my brother?" I asked, calming down. "Probably not." Though I was a bit unsure about new people, I'd gotten quite used to people being bigger than me.

"Almost the same." Andrew replied from my left. "But don't worry. He's funny."

"And he's loud." Zack continued. "Without even meaning to be, but he's not mean." I nodded a little, appreciating the forewarning. Following Josh up the steps, I took a deep breath as Zack and Andrew followed me.

"Try not to make eye contact." Josh warned. "If he sees you make eye contact, he never shuts up." He took a few steps through the door, holding it open for us.

"Dad. I brought a friend over."

"Well, bring him here." I flinched at a man's voice calling up the hall, "Let me meet him." I was actually not wanting to meet this man at all. Just his voice told me to worry, setting me on edge. I looked to Zack, and again, he offered an apologetic smile.

"It's a girl, dad." Josh called back, waving me forward. I hesitated, my feet refusing to carry me farther inside the house than a few steps. Just enough for Josh to close the door.

"Oh, a girl?" His dad responded. "I see. Well, let me meet her then."

I listened to the sound of a chair scraping against the hardwood, someone standing. Heavy footsteps coming through the house and louder as they got closer. I stepped back into Andrew, watching as he rounded the corner.

My first reaction was a quiet squeak. This guy _was_ as big as Emmett. Maybe a little taller. Dark brown hair, like his sons, but his eye color didn't match theirs. It wasn't the same shade of blue. He smiled at me as he neared, a beer in his hand.

I almost glared at the offending bottle, but held it back.

"She's cute, son. Though, I should have taught you not to beat her up." He chuckled, referring to the fading bruises on my face. "Why didn't you say you got yourself a little girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend, dad." Josh countered, looking to me. "This is Leandra. A friend of ours from school."

"Okay." He laughed. "Whatever you say." He looked at me again as well. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Miss Leandra. My name's Mark."

His voice was loud. Not like he was yelling, but just that he seemed to be a naturally loud person. It shook my nerves, and I found myself whimpering quietly, but he wasn't mean. Just like they said.

He offered his hand, and as tempted as I was to back up and run away, the front door opened again behind us. The door accidentally bumped Zack, and I heard a slightly-annoyed gasp and heavy sigh.

"Zack." I recognized the woman's voice on the other side of the door. Before she even had to ask, Zack quickly moved out of the way, nearly knocking over a lamp.

"What on Earth is everyone-" She cut herself off as she spotted me standing here and she smiled in understanding. "Oh." I'd seen her outside that day. Up closer, I was more convinced now that I had to have met her somewhere.

"Mom." Josh greeted with a sigh. "Tell dad to leave my friend alone. She's gonna pass out and it'll be his fault."

"Pester them somewhere else, would ya?" She snapped, but her tone was completely playful. "Let a lady in. Shoo."

I couldn't help laughing a little at her voice, stepping aside with Josh. Their mother walked in, holding a gallon of milk in one hand. She lifted it up as she stepped in and handed it to her husband.

"There's more." She told him, thumbing behind her. "I bought it, you guys get to put it away."

"Yes, dear." Mark laughed, but it was the little kiss he gave her head told me he really wasn't any reason to be scared. I glanced over at Josh, and I couldn't help smiling at his knowing smile. Zack rounded out the door, probably to get the grocery-fetching over with.

"I'm sorry." Their mom turned to face me again. Offering her hand. "I'm Heather."

That name even sounded familiar. I felt like I really should know this woman, but I honestly couldn't remember why. It was the weirdest feeling, but one I'd never had before.

"Leandra." I replied, leaning away as Josh followed Zack before I hesitantly took her hand in greeting. Again, I got the feeling that she knew me too. Even more recognition entered her eyes and smile.

"Leandra." She repeated, and I nervously smiled back. I honestly didn't know what to make of her, and the way she seemed to know who I was and admired me was freaking me out.

"Mom, where do you want this crap?" Josh carried in what looked like several bags of cans.

"I vote the trash." Zack grumbled, following him in with more.

"Excuse me." Heather smiled at me, releasing my hand as I nodded. Andrew moved to my side as she turned and followed them to the kitchen.

"That was weird." He mumbled to me.

"You noticed it?" I whispered in reply.

"Yeah. She knows you?"

"I don't know her." I shrugged a little. "Do you know their last name?" As if it might help.

"Hartley." He replied, but it didn't ring any bells. I shook my head, sighing. He shrugged next. He seemed okay with letting it go, but I was more curious than that.

Up ahead in the kitchen, I heard Mark and Heather clearly start a light discussion about their day just as Zack seemed to escape, returning to our side.

"Over here." He smiled at us. Andrew followed Zack first, and I followed him.

I was led into a sort of small living area, with lots of pictures hanging on the walls in mix-matched frames. The most prominent thing in the room was an entertainment center against the far wall, beside a large bay window looking out over the front yard and sidewalk. A sofa and love seat positioned in front of it. It was pretty basic, but also very cozy.

I took the far end of the love seat, nearest the window, sitting slowly. Thinking hard as I stared at the floor, waiting for Josh to get in there too. Andrew took the other half of the love seat, somehow knowing I was far more comfortable with that.

"See?" Zack smiled as he flopped onto the couch. "No big deal, right?"

"Hey." I mumbled. "Um.. Does your mom know me from somewhere?"

"I don't think so." He replied. "She did ask about you, though. The first time you were here, she asked what we knew about you. We just said you're Andrew's friend, but we think you're pretty cool. She didn't ask again after that."

"Maybe she just knows you because she works at the hospital too." Andrew suggested. "It's probably nothing."

"Oh yeah." Zack nodded. "She's a nurse, and everybody knows who your family is." That made sense. I finally allowed myself to shrug it off as Josh came into the room.

As it turned out, Josh's taste in movies was nowhere near mine. He'd chosen three movies, each one worse than the last. I spent most of the third one cringing away from the violence on the screen.

"You sure are sensitive for someone that likes to fight other people." Josh laughed, throwing a pillow at me.

"Yeah, well.." I mumbled, chancing a peek back to the screen. "This is kinda different."

"Are you scared?" Josh asked, surprised.

"No." I said. "I just.. I don't like it."

"Aww, it's okay. I'll protect you." Josh smiled.

"Fuck off." I grumbled, throwing the pillow back at him. Not hard, because I didn't want him to not catch it, and have it break something. It was more of a toss, but he let it hit him in the face.

I looked back to the screen too soon. "Oh god. Who watches this crap?" I cringed, hiding my face in Andrew's arm.

"Alright." We all looked back at Mark's voice. "We'll be back around seven. Stay out of trouble." I assumed he and Heather were going somewhere.

"We will, dad." Josh muttered.

"I mean it." He said, pointing to the boys, "Be good, and don't let your mother catch you watching that." Taking the hint, Josh paused the movie and turned off the TV just as Heather descended the stairs.

"Yeah, yeah." Josh laughed. "You always mean it."

"It was nice to meet you, Leandra." Mark smiled at me, but I didn't get as weird of a feeling from him. He seemed nice enough, just like Richard.

"You too." I replied quietly.

"Don't be a stranger." Heather added. "You're welcome here anytime."

"Thanks." I smiled a little.

"Go, already." Josh laughed. "You're freaking her out."

"No they're not." I argued, but his parents both laughed as well. Soon, they were both gone, closing the front door behind them. Josh jumped up and ran to the window as soon as he heard the car start.

"Finally." He laughed, jogging through the room. "Thought they'd never leave."

"What are you doing?" Zack asked, turning to watch his brother head toward the kitchen. Andrew and I glanced at each other as we heard the sound of bottles clinking together. My eyes narrowed as I heard him coming back.

As soon as I saw the two brown bottles in his hands, matching the same ones I grew up seeing and the same one I saw in Mark's hand, I stood up.

"Are you crazy?" I asked. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Aw, don't tell me you're going to freak out like a little baby." Josh rolled his eyes. "It's not going to kill you. Here." He held one out to me.

"No. Get that away from me." I growled, turning with my arms crossed over my chest. Just the sight of it angered me. It wasn't as bad in Mark's hand, because he obviously hadn't had a lot of it, but in Josh's hand, it threatened me. I didn't like it, and wanted nothing to do with it.

"Go put it back, Josh." Zack only sounded annoyed. "I don't wanna get in trouble when dad finds those missing."

"Whatever." He scoffed. "Here." He held it out to Andrew instead. Andrew looked from it to me as I turned my eyes to him.

"Come on. Take it." Josh insisted, and at first, I really thought he was going to. I shook my head, silently begging him not to.

"Maybe we shouldn't." Andrew said, hesitating. "Come on, Josh."

"My dad won't notice." Josh shrugged. "Just take it."

"I don't know." Andrew murmured, looking to me again.

"So now you're a wimp, too?" Josh asked, shocked. "You both are babies." Andrew looked down. I wouldn't blame him if he took it after all.

I turned around, shaking my head again. It was his choice, but I wouldn't tell him that the moment he did, he'd lose me as a friend. I felt strongly enough about it that I meant it. I paced slowly toward the front door, waiting for him to make his decision. I was now very, very uncomfortable, and more than ready to leave.

I looked over, surprised as Andrew stepped up beside me. "You go ahead, Josh. We've got to get home anyway. My dad is probably wondering where we are." Zack smiled at us, seeming impressed.

"Whatever." Josh sighed, sitting. "It's your loss."

"Bye, guys." Zack called.

"See you tomorrow." Andrew made it clear he wasn't mad at them, keeping his calm. I was highly impressed too, smiling a little at him. I stepped outside first, Andrew following close behind me.

"So.." I murmured as we stepped down from the porch. "Why didn't you?"

"Well, I know that stuff isn't for kids. That's all on them." He said, taking my hand as we walked. "Two, I could tell how much it bugged you. I'm just surprised that you have limits."

"Just when it comes to that." I shook my head. "I won't ever touch that stuff. As long as I live."

"What's so wrong with it?" Andrew asked, confused. "My dad has a couple of them sometimes, and it doesn't hurt him." I looked over, meeting his eyes briefly.

"Long story." I said, looking down again. "Just.. Thank you. For not taking it." I watched our feet as we walked. We were pretty quiet as we continued on, heading up the street.

"You sure are full of those." Andrew eventually pointed out. "Long stories."

"What can I say?" I replied. "I'm weird."

"That doesn't mean you're weird." He countered, and I shrugged.

Suddenly, as we rounded the corner, he pulled me to a stop. I looked over, confused. At his nod forward, I looked ahead of us on the sidewalk. Among others, the three girls I'd run from earlier in the week stood there on the sidewalk outside Andrew's house, looking our way.

"Oh, shit." I whimpered, my heart dropping. Unfortunately, I'd gained their attention.

"Look who it is." One of them called, a large grin coming to her face, and I took a step back.

"I can't fight." I murmured desperately to Andrew. "I promised."

"Come for a rematch?" Another one called, stepping away from the group.

"The rat even has a friend now." The first laughed. "Isn't that cute?"

"I don't wanna fight." I told them, shaking my head.

"Well, that's a little too bad, princess." This was a new one. A guy, probably around sixteen. "You messed up. Mariah is my little sister." Mariah.. The one I beat up before Noel. "I've been looking for you for awhile now, and a little birdy told me you were around."

"Shit.." I whimpered, taking another step back. "Andrew, go home. I'll try to distract them, and you go get your dad."

"Not a chance." He said, stepping back with me. "I'm not leaving you."

"Okay.." I whimpered again. "Then follow me."

With that, I turned, starting my run. Back the way we came. I held his hand tight in my own as we raced back up the sidewalk. Passing Josh and Zack's house the other direction. Not even thinking to stop there, because of what they were doing. We passed right by it, headed straight for main street.

I looked back, noticing at least six following us. Too closely for my taste.

I looked over at him. He held my hand tighter, and suddenly turned. Crossing over lawns and tugging me quickly into the trees. He tugged me a few feet into the trees, and before the others entered, he took a sharp right. Leaping over a fallen tree easily, he slid to a stop, and slammed back against a standing tree. Pulling me back against him, and covering my mouth. Seconds later, I heard them several feet away, calling my name. Their crunching footsteps against the foliage sounded all over the place. I couldn't tell how far away or how close they were by the sound.

I fought with his hand. I couldn't catch my breath through my nose, and I was really feeling claustrophobic. I stopped fighting after a moment, knowing why he did it. He was completely silent behind me, and I knew I wouldn't be able to do that.

It went quiet before he slowly uncovered my mouth. I didn't dare speak. I still heard some footsteps, but I was getting worried.

A few seconds later, I jumped as suddenly Andrew was plucked out from behind the tree. Away from me, and wrestled to the ground. Jade's older brother placing his foot on his back, pinning him.

I was only able to take one step in their direction when I was suddenly tackled from behind. Hitting the ground forcefully enough to lose my breath, and tearing the skin of my forearms against the sharp twigs and dead leaves.

A square kick to the ribs had me crying out, trying to roll over.

"You stay right there, kid." Andrew must have been fighting, because I sure wasn't going anywhere.

I was released enough to roll over a little, looking up at six other girls. All older than me.

"Where are your bitchy sisters?" One of them asked me, laughing a little. I narrowed my eyes. Despite my promise not to fight, I really couldn't help myself. Any other topic, and I would have just taken whatever they had to give.

But they mentioned my family.

Against my will, I reared up and kicked straight at her knee. Amazingly, landing the kick, clearly feeling the snap her leg gave under the force of my shoe. She hit the ground, instantly in loud, sobbing tears. She wouldn't be getting back up on her own for awhile.

Unfortunately, that only pissed the others off.

Before I could crawl away, I received one more kick to the ribs, and a coughing cry left me. The pain spread instantly from my side, throughout my whole body. I felt that that kick had done some damage. I recognized the difference now between a bruising kick, and a damaging kick, but I fought that realization. In an effort to protect myself, I curled up, clutching my sides.

"Hey!" Everything suddenly froze and I uncurled just enough to look at Josh standing there, Zack behind him. To say I was surprised to see him was a massive understatement. I sobbed in pain, trying to catch my breath.

"Don't you think this is just a little unfair? I mean.." Josh continued, scoffing. "Do you really need six.. Seven of you to handle two ten year olds? Really. How pathetic are you?" He seemed amused, leaning against the tree with his hands behind his back. Like he wasn't witnessing this. Merely discussing the weather.

"Beat it, kid." One of the girls barked. "Or you'll join her."

"Okay." He said, striding forward. He stepped over me on the ground, headed straight for the one that had delivered the very painful kick. Nobody reacted, just as shocked as I was. No fear in him, no hint of hesitation. Suddenly, still with no hint of hesitation, he brought something out from behind his back.

He swung a thick tree branch in his hands right at her, making contact with her stomach. She doubled over, and before she could even finish losing her breath, he swung again, hitting another and dodging a third's grab for him. He flung the branch as far as he could with the least amount of time.

"You said 'Beat it'." He laughed, holding his hands up as he stepped backwards. Carefully stepping over me. "I can see your ugly face as an 'it'.." Zack was laughing behind him. "Come on, buffalo. You gonna do anything about that? I promise to go easy on you."

They all started for him now, even Jade's brother. Josh laughed loudly, spinning as he grabbed Zack's sleeve, pulling him along as they started running, and they were followed.

"Let's get moving, morons!"

Andrew was suddenly there beside me.

Andrew pulled me to my feet, laughing and shaking his head. We trailed after the mob chasing him and Zack down. Me a little slower, thanks to my aching ribs. Luckily, they paid no attention to us anymore, focused on Josh now. Somehow, they'd moved the chase out of the trees, and led them up the street. Zack beside Josh, and I figured out where they were going.

Up the street, Josh gave a whistle.

"Here, doggy doggy! Come on! I thought you were faster than that?" Zack called behind him, effectively angering them further. One tripped, hitting the road face first, and I made sure to step on her arm as we continued on. Much to Andrew's amusement.

"Faster! Knees to chest, fucker!" Josh called. "I'm disappointed in you."

Seeing that we weren't going to catch up to them ahead of the group before they reached the house, Andrew held my hand tighter and we broke off. Rounding the block, headed for the thin alley between the houses. Through the backyard fence, and over the back lawn. Diving into the back door to his house. Releasing my hand once I was safe inside, he tore faster through the house.

I could only pay a little bit of attention, as I was trying not to puke. I wandered forward at my own pace this time.

"Dad!" Andrew called loudly, before yanking open the door just as Josh and Zack jumped up onto the porch and jogged inside. Nearly sliding on the mat in front of the door in their efforts to stop. Both of them laughing hysterically, as Andrew slammed the door behind them, locking it just as quickly. They both panted roughly, leaning against the railing beside the stairs, trying to catch their breath.

"What on earth is going on?" Richard asked, nearly tripping in his haste down the stairs.

"Those kids outside tried to beat up Leandra." Andrew panted. "So we ran here." Richard looked to me, doubled over in the doorway to the living room, trying to catch my breath as well. I nodded a little, and he instantly got moving. Yanking the door open in a very pissed off manner.

"Get your butts home, before I call each one of your parents." He called as he stepped outside onto the porch. "You lay another finger on her, I swear all of you will be spending the next week in jail. Get going!"

Just as I thought before, he could be firm if he needed to be. I knew I wouldn't want to cross him. I smiled a little, looking down.

I didn't know if he could do that, and apparently, neither did they. They got moving, running off and he turned, stepping back inside.

"Are you okay?" Richard asked, looking to me.

"She's-"

"I'm fine." I said, cutting Andrew's reply short. He looked to me, surprised. "I'm fine. Thanks to Josh."

I really didn't want this to be made into a big deal.

"Well." Richard sighed. "Just.. Stay inside. Josh, Zack. You might want to consider staying here for awhile."

"No problem." Josh agreed, nodding.

"I'm ordering pizza for dinner. You're both welcome to join us." Richard told them.

They smiled at each other, nodding again. "Awesome."

"Go on upstairs, guys. I'll let you know when it gets here." He still seemed concerned about us, but I knew he'd be okay.

Andrew nodded, taking my arm. I winced each step I took up the stairs, holding my breath. Josh and Zack led the way upstairs, laughing the entire way.

"Holy crap." Josh laughed, opening the door. "That was fun."

"You're just lucky you were faster than them." I mumbled, whimpering as I sat down on the bed with Andrew's help. "How'd you know?"

"We saw you run by." He said. "Then the zoo animals following. Zack had to put on his shoes, which was why we took so long."

"Sorry." Zack mumbled apologetically. "I couldn't find the other one."

"It didn't take a genius to figure out that you two needed help." Josh said. "Next time, let us come with you."

"You were busy." I mumbled, wincing and hugging my side.

"We weren't that busy. They'll be less likely to chase you down if they see you in a group." Josh reasoned, stepping forward. He pushed me down, making me lay back on the bed. I was too stunned to even think at first. "I've got a couple of friends from school who'll help out if I need them to." He slowly raised my shirt over my side, and I slapped his hand away.

"What the hell?"

"I'm just looking." He said. "Calm down, killer. I broke my ribs two years ago. I wanna see if yours are broken after that moose kicked you."

"He fell out of a tree." Zack laughed, and I couldn't help laughing as well.

"Ha-ha-freaking-ha. For the record, that really sucked." Josh grumbled, lifting my shirt out of the way again. He sighed, shaking his head as he looked at the bruising. "They look bad."

"I'll live." I mumbled, rolling slightly to sit back up.

"Leandra, you should let Andrew's dad know." Zack said. "If they're broken, or even cracked, that could really be bad."

"I don't care." I sighed. "And don't you three tell anyone, okay?"

"Are you crazy?" Josh asked me. "You want us to lie? Why?"

"Because." I said. "I promised I wouldn't fight. If I can get away with this, then I can say I kept that promise."

"Them following you like that wasn't your fault." Josh said incredulously. "They'd be mad at you for that?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "But I don't wanna test it. Especially with how bad I've been."

"You're kidding, right?" Josh continued. "You think your family is going to be happy about you hiding this?"

"You wouldn't get it." I growled, forcing myself to my feet. "Josh, I can't lose them. It's easy for you, because you know your parents won't get rid of you. Me living there isn't permanent yet."

"Wait, they're not your real parents?" Josh asked, surprised.

"No." I sighed. "I'm just a foster."

"What the hell did you do in your last home?" He asked. He didn't mean that in a mean way, and I knew that, but I turned away.

"Long story." I grumbled, "Just.. I'm not there permanently yet. They can still change their minds about keeping me. I can't mess up any more. Please.." I was surprised at the amount of pleading in my voice. "Don't say anything." He pursed his lips, his arms crossed over his chest. I decided to try another tactic.

"If you say anything, I'm telling your mom about that beer."

"I never even opened it!" He whined, incredulous.

"Don't matter." I countered. His flat look told me that it really didn't matter whether or not he opened it. His parents would be pissed either way.

"That's low." He pointed at me, and I returned his flat look. "Fine, but if you die, that's on you."

"I'm not gonna die." I laughed a little. "Thank you." He nodded, but I could tell he wasn't happy about it.

"Now." I said, looking to Andrew and Zack. "You two.."

"I won't say anything." Zack said, raising his hands in defeat.

"Leandra.." Andrew trailed off, hesitant. I knew he would be a problem. He was the most honest kid I knew. He always told the truth.

"Andrew, you know how much they mean to me." I told him. "Please. If they find out I've been fighting again, they won't let me come back here, and they'll be so mad.." I trailed off this time. "Please."

"You know how much you mean to me." He said. "You could die."

"I'm not going to die." I sighed, rolling my eyes. "If I do, then I'll admit you're right." He laughed at that one, and I smiled in response.

"I won't say anything, as long as you're okay." He finally said. "But if anything happens, I'm telling my dad." That was the best I was going to get.

"Thank you." I sighed sincerely. I turned again, looking back at Josh. "And thank you. For helping us. You didn't have to do that."

"I know." Josh waved it off. "We wanted to."

"I don't think it's right." Zack added. "You didn't even do anything."

"I'm confused, though." I frowned, sitting back down. "How'd they know I was here?"

"Almost every house on this side of town has a kid that goes to one of those three schools." Zack explained. "Someone somewhere knows your face, and even more people than that know you're friends with Andrew. It wouldn't take a genius to figure it out."

"Dang it." I whined this time. "Now I can't even come here."

"Yeah you can." Josh replied. "Just don't walk around alone. Call ahead or something if you wanna come over." He wasn't being condescending that time. He was being sincere.

"Maybe we don't even have to tell them you were fighting." Andrew spoke up, gaining our attention. "It could have just been a fall. Out of a tree."

"Ooh!" Zack perked up. "Can I push her?"

"She's not actually falling out of a tree." Andrew whipped back. "But you can be the one she blames for talking her into doing it."

"Yes." Zack hissed with a grin. "I'm the bad influence." I had to admit. For someone as honest as Andrew, he was pretty good at coming up with believable lies.

"She'd have other marks if she fell out of a tree." Josh shook his head.

"Like these?" Andrew asked, taking my arm and bending it in. Showcasing my scraped forearms. I'd completely forgotten about that.

"That looks more like a bike wreck." Zack pointed out. "Not the same as a tree fall. Maybe down the stairs?"

"God, guys." I frowned, looking around.

"Where would she scrape her arms like that down the stairs?" Josh asked. "Are the carpets made of glass?"

"The tree can be on a hill." Andrew suggested. Oh, I was back in a tree.

"Out in the woods." Zack added with a nod. "And she landed on a root."

All three groaned painfully.

"Problem." I snapped, shutting them up. "Andrew's dad saw us run here, and he knows why we were running. He knows there was no tree. It's not like we can ask him to lie for us too."

We sat around Andrew's room for about an hour, discussing options, perfecting our lies and coming up ideas for traps. Ways to mess with those older kids, and ways to get them into trouble.

I got a better hold of my pain during that time, and I found I could hide it again. I actually had hope that I could pull this off. As long as I didn't move too harshly or stretch too far.

My problem during that hour was trying not to laugh. Zack was pretty creative, and pair that with Josh's imagination, they came up with some pretty imaginative traps for those older kids. They were funny.

We'd just gotten to the good part of the best idea, when we were summoned.

"Pizza's here." Richard called up the stairs, and I looked around.

"Coming!" Andrew called back.

"Remember." I said quietly, pointing at all three of them.

"We know, we know." Josh laughed, shaking his head as he and Zack stood up first.

Zack offered to help me up, and I took his offer. Placing both of my hands in both of his offered ones, he gave me leverage I needed to make it to my feet without using too many midsection muscles.

"And you remember." Andrew replied. "If anything happens, I'm telling him."

"I'm fine now." I assured him, but I knew he didn't believe me.

I turned to leave, but Andrew made a noise, and I looked back at him. He pointed to my forearms, reminding me of the torn skin there.

"Crap." I growled. "Okay, I'll be right down."

I made my way into the bathroom, flipping on the light and turning on the hot water. I jumped as I noticed Andrew had followed me.

"Leandra, I have to ask again." He said, leaning against the open doorway. "Please. Let me tell my dad. I really don't like the idea of you hiding it."

"I can't do that." I shook my head. "I already told you why."

"Won't they be just as upset over you hiding it?" Probably.

"It's a risk I have to take." I leaned forward splashing warm water on my forearms. Cleaning the dirt and dried blood from my skin.

"So.." Andrew sighed. "What if you get sick? Like.. Really sick because of this? Do you know how guilty I'll feel? Why can't we just tell them that lie?"

"I'm sorry." I said, shaking my head. "I'll be okay. You'll see." I patted my arms dry, and sighed as well. "Don't be so serious. We lived." I offered him an attempted comforting smile, and he smiled in return.

"You know he likes you, right?" Andrew asked, stepping back and letting me out of the bathroom. I turned off the light, looking at him.

"What?" I asked, frowning. "Who?"

"Josh." He said as if it were obvious. "He likes you."

"So?" I asked, frowning in confusion. I wasn't getting it. "He's okay."

"No." He replied. "He likes you-likes you." Oh.

"No he doesn't." I shook my head, rolling my eyes at him. We stood there in the hallway now, talking about this. It was weird. This was the first time I'd ever had to face something like this. Crushes were something I'd only heard about when other kids would talk about them. I'd never had one, so it was weird to consider it.

"I can tell." He insisted.

"Just because he came to save us, doesn't mean he likes me." I reasoned. "He was probably just there to save you from being stepped on."

"Right." He snorted. "And I'm a mermaid."

"Are you really?" I asked in a laugh, poking his side. "Where's your tail?"

"Stop." He laughed, taking hold of my poking hand. Just holding onto it. "I just thought you should know."

"It doesn't matter." I said. "I don't think he does, but even if he did, it wouldn't matter." I was probably incapable of feeling the same way.

He didn't seem to know how to reply to that. I shrugged, giving him a smile. I really wasn't sure how I should feel about that. I barely knew Josh, so it really didn't matter what he thought about me. In a way, though, it bothered me. I didn't like knowing that.

I turned, heading downstairs, listening to Andrew follow after a few seconds. I was still in thought, though. Why did Andrew bother telling me that? He knew I'd only known Josh for like thirty seconds. What did it matter to him if Josh liked me? Andrew was my friend first, and I could tell that it bugged him.

I made a mental note to pick that conversation back up next time I could. I didn't like that something about me bugged him.

I managed to hide my pain for the rest of the evening.

It came close to being discovered during dinner, though, when I'd misplaced my foot, and stumbled while trying to climb onto the tall chair beside the kitchen table. My foot slipped off the little step, and hitting the floor. As much pain as I was in, I worried that they were more than bruised. I clenched my teeth, holding my breath. Turning my eyes to the floor as I leaned on the chair.

"Are you okay?" Richard asked, worried. Seeing my reaction to such a simple thing.

"Yeah." I forced out as easily as I could. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just.. Thought for a second my shoe was untied. I'm a little out of it, I guess."

"Understandable, given the afternoon you had." He murmured after a moment, his eyes on me as I tried again. Successfully sitting back down. Andrew's eyes were also on me, and I could clearly see that he wasn't happy.

I gave him a look that said, 'Shut up', and he looked down.

I was very careful the rest of the evening, and soon, night fell. It was decided that both Josh and Zack would be spending the night that night as well. Richard didn't mind as long as their parents didn't mind, which they didn't. I didn't care either. I was starting to appreciate their presence just as much as I had Andrew's.

My little world suddenly expanded by two more people.

"How old are you, anyway?" I asked Josh as we got ready for bed. He was making a bed of blankets on the floor, and I was already willing to share Andrew's bed. It worked the night before, and I probably wasn't going to be okay with sharing the floor with two other people. Andrew's room wasn't that big.

"Almost thirteen." He replied. "A couple of months away." That wasn't 'almost'.

"You're tough for a twelve year old." I admitted, shrugging a little and sitting carefully on the side of the bed.

"You're tough for a ten year old." He countered like it was a competition.

"I turn eleven in a couple of months." I used his excuse. "Plus I have to be."

"What's that mean?" He asked, pausing with a blanket in his hands.

"Nothing." I shook my head.

"No, really." He insisted.

"When the whole town hates me, I gotta be tough." I pointed out.

"True." He got moving again.

"The _whole_ town doesn't hate you." Andrew mumbled where he sat behind me. "And you don't have to be so tough. We'll help you out."

"Unless they step on us too." Zack piped up.

"With how good you are at sitting on people, I don't think they can."

Completely seriously, almost disappointedly, Zack replied. "True. I'm freaking awesome."

I was woken again that night. Somewhere close to dawn, as it was starting to lighten outside the window. Unfortunately, I was right in the middle of a pretty painful memory and nightmare. Probably brought on by the painful ache in my ribs.

Remembering a few years ago, during a time when I'd had this same pain. Looking up at Jack, crawling backwards across the floor. Sobbing hard into my knees when I couldn't retreat any further. My back hitting the wall. Covering my ears, trying to block out the sound of him shouting at me to stop crying. I couldn't do it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop crying. It only got worse as I watched him reach for his belt.

I was almost seven.

Andrew was kneeling beside me on the bed when I opened my eyes, clearly concerned, but this time, I wasn't easily calmed.

"You were crying again." Andrew pointed out, but I didn't reply. I sat up, fighting as hard as I could to keep back the panic the dream brought me. I failed, beginning to sob silently. A few loud ones escaped, however, and it obviously didn't take much to wake Zack and Josh.

I closed my eyes as the light turned on. Josh was on his feet and Zack was kneeling up beside the bed. Both deeply worried. I hated that this was an issue again.

"Leandra." Andrew tried for the tenth time. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head a little, my arms holding my sides as I looked up at him. I was in a lot of pain.

Josh was still more worried as well. "Should I go get your dad?"

"Yeah." Andrew replied immediately. "Go get him." He instantly turned, leaving the room as I continued to cry. Shaking in my effort to stop sobbing as Andrew put his arms around me.

A minute later, both Josh and Richard returned, coming back to the bedside. I felt the bed dip beside me, and I looked up. Just looking at Richard now sitting there seemed to make him understand.

"What's wrong with her?" Zack asked from the floor.

"Maybe her ribs were bothering her." Andrew said, still panicked.

"Nothing is wrong with her. She just had a nightmare. That's all." Richard answered softly. "And what do you mean about her ribs?"

"They kicked her." Andrew answered, sighing. I met his eyes with accusing ones of my own. "The kids. Earlier. They kicked her twice. Pretty hard, in the same side."

"What?" He asked, surprised. "Why-"

"She made us promise." Josh answered. "Not to tell. She's afraid of her family being mad, and not wanting her anymore."

"Leandra, let me look." Richard requested. Slowly, I reached up and gripped the bottom of my shirt, holding it down. I shook my head. He sighed, looking around. "Did you guys see it?" They all glanced to each other, before nodding. "And?"

"She was bruised pretty bad." Zack murmured, looking up at Josh.

"I don't know how bad it is now." Josh answered as well. Richard sighed again, gently patting my hand and standing.

"Alright." He said. "Sit tight." He turned, leaving the room.

"Why would you tell?" I sobbed once the door was shut, kneeling up on the bed. "You promised! You could have just lied!"

"I didn't know what was wrong with you!" Andrew plead. "I was scared!"

"I wasn't crying because of that." I cried, sitting back down, shaking my head and looking down. I had a feeling, even with how upset I was, the truth was coming. Quickly.

"Then why?" Andrew asked, his tone softer. "Please tell me."

"I can't." I shook my head after several minutes, sobbing quietly. "I can't. You'll.. I don't know. You'll never talk to me again."

"That's stupid." Josh spoke, and I looked to him. "Seriously? Nothing you did could be that bad."

"It isn't anything I did." I mumbled, shaking my head. "It's what.. Someone else did to me."

"Then it doesn't matter what you say." He barked. "Andrew's not going to stop being your friend because of something someone else did. It would be a really stupid reason to stop being friends with someone."

"Neither will we." Zack piped up, kneeling up. Closer to the bed. I held my breath for a second, letting it out as I shook my head.

I was quiet for another few minutes. Trying to force myself to say it. I needed to find a simple way to explain years of torment and pain to people who wouldn't understand in the least.

"I can't tell you." I mumbled eventually. "I can't make myself say it."

"See, that's two different things right there." Josh said. "You can't tell us, means you don't trust us enough. You can't make yourself say it, means you don't trust yourself enough. Which one is it?"

"Myself." I answered.

"And why wouldn't you trust yourself?" He asked. "I'm telling you, Leandra. You're one of the most kick-ass kids I've ever known. And that's saying something."

"I never used to be." I mumbled, staring at my hands.

"Then what did you used to be?" He asked. "Come on, kid. Out with it. It can't be that bad." He laughed, "What was the thing someone else did? What? Were you chained up outside?" He obviously thought it was a joke, but I looked up at him. Not amused in the slightest. I wished I could laugh it off, and tell him he was wrong, but I couldn't do that honestly.

His smile faded, "Oh.."

"What?" Andrew asked, shocked. "Really?"

"I was." I sniffled, looking back down. "But that wasn't the worst of it."

"What are you saying?" Josh asked with a deeper frown. "Leandra?" I kept my eyes down.

"There's a reason I'm with the Cullens." I murmured, my voice hardly making a sound. "They took me in because my house wasn't safe for me."

"Because somebody hit you?" Zack asked quietly. I nodded. "But that wasn't all..? What does that mean?"

"I think I know." Josh muttered, and I looked back at him.

"You asked about the scars on my back." I mumbled. "That's part of it."

"That's why you hated staying with your mom." Andrew understood. "And then she got that boyfriend.. Then the Cullens came back, and you were living with them again."

"It wasn't my mom." I clarified. "She just ignored it when it was happening." I paused to catch my breath. "I wasn't raised the way you guys were. I didn't have what you guys had. Nobody cared about me." I shrugged, looking back down.

"That's why they mean so much to you." Andrew whispered, and I nodded, sniffling.

"That explains your temper." Zack mumbled, and I looked to him. "What? If I was treated like that, I'd be pissed off at everything, too."

"It's a little more than that." I mumbled. "But that's about it."

"Leandra." I looked to Josh. "When you say it was more than that, you mean..?" I looked back down, nodding a little. Given his tone, I knew he knew what I was talking about. "Who the hell would do that?"

"He would." I mumbled, shrugging a little. "My stepdad."

"I still don't get it." Zack murmured, looking between him and I.

"I'll tell you later." Josh grumbled, turning away.

"And you thought we wouldn't want to talk to you anymore?" Andrew asked, shocked. "Because you were abused?"

"I don't know what I thought." I sighed, keeping my eyes down.

"If anything," Josh said, turning. "It sounds to me like your life has been hard enough. If anyone from school else tries to hurt you again, I'll beat their head in myself."

"Thanks." I murmured, looking up at him.

"We've got your back, Leandra." He told me, his arms crossed over his chest. "Don't worry."

"Yeah." Zack said from his kneeling position. "I might not be much, but I can be helpful. I'm a kick-ass side-kick, and I'm good at sitting on people."

"And don't worry so much." Andrew scooted forward to sit next to me. "We all know that what happened today wasn't your fault. I was right there with you. We'll make sure your dad knows it too."

I took a breath, nodding.

"Thanks, guys." I murmured. "Really." Andrew took my hand, giving me a comforting smile.

We all looked up as the door opened again, and Richard returned, trailed by Carlisle.

"That was quick." Josh muttered, looking to me. "Wait.. _That's_ your dad?"

"We don't live far away." I replied quietly. "And yeah. Uhm.. Carlisle, that's Josh, and this is Zack. Friends of mine and Andrew's. Guys, this is Carlisle. My.. Dad." For the oddest reasons, I wasn't sure if he wanted me to introduce him as that. As my dad. It was hard for me, to say the least.

Zack stood up, not phased at all, and held his hand out to him. I liked him. Josh still seemed to be in surprised shock, looking between Carlisle and I.

"It's not her fault." Andrew sat up straighter, looking at Carlisle. "It wasn't her fault. I swear. We were just walking back from Josh's house, and we ran into them."

"I'm not angry." Carlisle replied, trying to ease his worry. "I'm far more concerned by the fact that she tried to hide it."

"Sorry, Leandra." Josh murmured to me. "That's all on you."

"We tried to help her." Zack muttered. "But Josh and I got there just a little too late."

"And I was pinned." Andrew added, shaking his head.

"It's okay, guys." I said. "Thanks for trying."

I closed my eyes, listening to him stepping forward. "Show me."

"B-But I-"

"Show me." He told me firmer, so I sighed, kneeling up carefully and lifting my shirt over my side. Four sharp intakes of breath and Carlisle's sigh was enough for me to know not to look. I looked up shamefully, meeting his eyes.

"Come on." He said, gesturing to me. "Let's go." I looked down, and climbed off the bed. I knew exactly where we were going. Straight to the hospital.

After gathering my stuff, I stepped into my shoes, and gave the boys a small smile as Carlisle took my bag from me, trying to ease their worry.

"Bye, guys." I muttered. A quiet responding goodbye chorus was returned, and I sighed, heading downstairs with Carlisle following close behind me.

"As happy as I am about you making new friends," Carlisle murmured as soon as he was in the car with me. "I cannot say I approve of you asking them to lie for you."

"Not lie." I mumbled. "Just not say anything." He gave me a look. "I know. There's no difference."

"Leandra, why would you do that?" He asked, "I made it specifically clear that I didn't want you to hide something like this."

"Because I thought that if you saw this, then you'd think I was out looking for trouble." I explained. "I wasn't. We were just trying to walk back to Andrew's house, from Josh's house. That's it."

He was quiet.

"And.. I was afraid you wouldn't let me come back to Andrew's." I continued. "I didn't want to have to stay away, because they thought I wanted a rematch."

"I'm not entirely sure you didn't, Leandra." He sighed, glancing at me.

"No, that's not it at all." I choked out after a moment. "I swear."

"I'm sorry, but I do know you." He said. "I know how much running from them bothered you. Leandra, you could have seriously been hurt, and gotten Andrew hurt as well. As well as the other two."

"I wasn't looking for trouble." I repeated pleadingly. "Ask Josh. Ask Andrew."

"You've asked them to lie for you before." Shit. He had a point there. I sighed, carefully leaning back against the seat. I decided then to just shut up. I didn't want to keep digging myself deeper. For the first time, I'd chosen not to argue.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "I shouldn't have asked them to shut up about it, and I was wrong."

He glanced at me, seeming surprised. He didn't comment on it, though, keeping quiet with a small nod. Even as he looked me over at the hospital, he was quiet. I didn't push him, because I knew it'd do no good. All insisting would do is make me mad, and I'd wind up saying things I really didn't mean.

To keep the promise I'd made to Jasper, and everybody else, I had to stop myself when I knew I wouldn't win. I had a feeling knowing when something was worth fighting for was going to be harder than I thought, but I had so much time to figure that out. The problem was, being patient enough to learn.

I could only hope that he came to realize that I hadn't been lying to him on his own. I couldn't insist. He had to see it himself.

 **A/N: My sleeping schedule is, again, off the wall. Forgive me.  
** **As usual, MaSsIvE thank you to my reviewer! HUGE hugs and lots of cookies to all of you! HUGE hugs to all my readers, but cookies are only for reviewers. If you want a cookie, you gotta join the review club. All I ask from you, is your thoughts. ;)  
** **Chapter four may take a little while. That chapter has presented me with an option. -_-  
Once I get my head straight, preferably after more sleep, I'll get that along to you as soon as it's fit for reading. (:  
** **Until next chapter, guys.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I was allowed to leave just a few hours later. My ribs weren't broken. I only had a small fracture in one of them. They were badly bruised and in a whole lot of pain, but I would be okay.

"I told you." I mumbled sleepily. "I'm small, but I'm sturdy."

"I never doubted that." He replied. "But I also never doubted that they are sturdier than you."

I smiled, looking down at remembering the chase the day before. I could smile about it now. Not the getting kicked part, though. That part would always suck.

"You should have seen them." I said, looking over at Carlisle. "Josh was so brave. I think he likes making people mad as much as I do."

"That reminds me." He murmured. "Again, I'm happy about that. You're making more friends." I knew he would be.

"That was Andrew." I replied. "He took me over to their house. I didn't like Josh at first, but Zack has always been cool." I was quiet for a moment. "I think I like him better now."

I shook my head, smiling to myself. I wasn't about to tell him about Josh's bright idea. The one that made me decide to leave his house early. He was just being a stupid kid, probably trying to show off, but it didn't work.

I sighed, looking over. "Do I really have to keep this stupid brace on for a week?"

"It's to help you heal." He replied, looking to me.

"I know. It just bugs."

I knew I'd earned the glances Carlisle gave me. My attitude had changed so much already, and it even surprised me to remember the way I'd been behaving only a week ago. Only a week ago, I'd have been a lot grumpier about everything.

I was positive that nobody had even dared to dream I'd respond the way I did to such a correction as Jasper gave me, but I know it helped me. I knew for a fact he hadn't done it to be mean, but because he cared how I turned out. It completely changed me. Turned me right around.

No. That wouldn't be needed again. How stupid could I have been to ever treat my family that way? I'd been in the process of throwing it all away, and hadn't even realized it. Now all that was left to do was start learning, paying attention to how humans were supposed to act. Without all the anger, and hatred. I knew, though, if I were to keep spending time with Andrew, Zack and Josh, I'd learn. I'd learn how to react to things properly. To stop expecting the worst from the world.

Maybe, possibly expanding my little world even further. Carefully, of course, but maybe I'd soon learn that not everybody was out to kill me. Even if most of the town hated me. I didn't care about that anymore. I had my family behind me, and three friends who were now determined to help me through it.

"I told them." I said, looking to Carlisle, and at first, he seemed worried. "Not about that. About me. About my life before you found me."

"I see." He said, surprised. "How'd that go?"

"They were.." I sighed. "Awesome about it. I was so worried, but Josh told me that was stupid. That they wouldn't abandon me just because Jack did what he did. I wasn't gonna tell Josh and Zack too, but they were kinda just there."

"I had a feeling that'd be the result." He commented quietly, making the turn onto the drive.

I smiled a little. "Yeah. Josh even said he'd help me out any time I needed it. That he has a bunch of friends that would do the same, so not everybody hates me."

He nodded, so I went on.

"And he has a point. The more people I have around me, the less chance of the others chasing me down. Instead of trying to fight them, I can avoid them as long as they avoid me. That's all I want."

"I'm liking these kids more and more." He nodded again and I laughed a little.

"Even without Josh's other friends, as long as I have the three of them with me, they'll probably think twice about running after me. Especially now that they know who Andrew's dad is." I leaned back against the seat. "It's nice to know that I have more than one person in town on my side. I never thought that would happen."

It was quiet for a moment, before I spoke again.

"I'm sorry." I said, and he looked to me. "How was your weekend? Did you hunt?"

"It was.." He paused. "Interesting, to say the least." He didn't seem up to talking about it, so I let it go. I was curious, though.

The second I walked in, Esme was there. I smiled a little apologetically as she hugged me.

"I'm okay." I mumbled, but I had to admit. I would probably never get tired of having someone be relieved when I was okay.

"I thought you said you wouldn't fight anymore?" She scolded quietly.

"This time, it wasn't my fault." I argued immediately.

"Uh-huh." Emmett suddenly arriving made me jump a little. He was skeptical.

"It wasn't." I defended myself. "We were just walking back from Josh's house, and they were just waiting there. I swear."

"Then why try to lie about it?"

"Because _this_." I pointed at him. "And I didn't wanna bug everyone for nothing. Josh and Zack helped me out of there, so I.. I don't know. I know I should have said something, but I really thought I could handle it."

"I get it, shorty." He replied, and I could suddenly tell that something was bothering him. "You didn't wanna back down, and got hurt again."

I groaned.

I looked over at Edward walking into the room. I couldn't help thinking. Edward had been there to witness my first real fight that day at the high school. Who knew that that would turn out to be just the start?

I had seen him a few times since they moved back to Forks, and I had a few choice words for him, but I really couldn't tell him off too much. He already looked like he'd been through Hell and back beating himself up.

"Tell them I'm telling the truth, please." I sighed, irritated. "You can tell, right? You can tell if I'm lying or not."

"She's being truthful." He nodded easily, looking over at Carlisle. "She and Andrew left Josh's house, and ran once they saw the group. They were chased down, and Josh and Zack came to help them. Taking the group's attention while they ran back to Andrew's house. Getting Richard's assistance."

"Thank you." I sighed again.

"By the way." Edward murmured, and I looked up at him. "You made the right choice. I'm proud of you." I smiled a little, knowing what he was talking about. Looking down. Esme hugged me back into her side, which I appreciated.

"How was Florida?" I asked, looking back up at Edward.

"Very sunny." He answered and I huffed a little.

"How come nobody wants to talk about their weekend, but I _have_ to talk about mine?" I asked, looking around. It was amusing, but also really frustrating.

"Because your weekend involved bodily injury." Emmett replied first.

"How do I know yours didn't?" I whipped back. I was just joking now, but the look on his face gave him away, just before he looked down. My smile faded a little. "Wait. Did it?"

I honestly didn't know what that would even mean. I couldn't imagine anything or anyone being strong enough to hurt them.

"Everyone is fine, Leandra." Edward assured me, and that helped a little.

"Well.." I mumbled. "It's still not fair. I get I messed up, but come on."

I let it drop, though. If they didn't want to tell me something, I probably shouldn't press it.

"I told you I wasn't lying." I muttered again, stepping into the living room, where Jasper sat focused on the news. Yet again.

"I'm sorry I doubted you." Carlisle followed me, watching as I sat in the chair with a small wince. "Forgive me. I was only hoping there could be a simple solution to this situation."

"Me too." I admitted, sighing. "So.. Am I allowed to see Andrew again?"

He seemed to think about it, and I held my breath. If he said no, I'd probably have to argue, but he had to remember that they'd stuck by me the whole time. It was nice to have that help, and a brave enough friend to try to help me out like that.

"I say she should." Jasper commented, not taking his eyes off the TV. "It might be dangerous, but I think it's helped her. I see a difference in her."

"So do I." Emmett stepped into the room. "I say she should, too. Let shorty have her little friends." I smiled a little, hopeful.

"I suppose." Carlisle allowed. "But not until you're fully healed. You could do without running or roughhousing until then." I smiled wider, nodding. I could deal with that. As long as I wasn't banned from them completely. "And as long as you never try to hide something like that again. I need to trust that you'll be honest with me."

"I will." I mumbled. "Thank you. I'll be good." He glanced to me, and gave me a small smile.

Days passed from there, and the TV stayed on. Someone was always watching it, as if waiting for a clue as to who it was. The numbers in Seattle doing nothing but growing, and they were just as lost as when it first started.

I even started watching the news. I didn't understand what she meant by half of what she said, but I did manage to grasp the fact that it was bad there. Watching as some lady went on about how many people were missing, and those they found dead. Same old, same old. More dead, more missing. Why was my family so fascinated with this? Did they have some sort of interest in dead things? I remembered how close I came to being one of those dead things. That thought alone caused me to shiver roughly, gaining a brief glance from Jasper.

"This is depressing." I commented quietly. "Why aren't they trying harder to catch the guy?"

"It's a little more complicated than that." Jasper murmured, glancing to me.

"How hard could it be?" I asked. "Someone like this shouldn't be hard to track down." I sat forward, trying to get comfortable, which was pretty difficult with the brace I had to wear for my ribs. It was more of a wrap, but it was stiff. To keep me from moving wrong. "Hey, maybe Mr. Serial Killer will find wherever Jack is. Go, guy! Make sure he's never found." Carlisle looked my way.

"That's not funny, Leandra." Jasper said quietly. "Believe me." I leaned back, sighing.

"I wasn't trying to be funny." I clarified. "I'm being serious." I looked down. Being hit hard with sudden emotion. Things I hadn't allowed myself to feel for so long. Things I hadn't allowed myself to deal with yet. The wounds were still fresh. "Hopefully, by the time he gets out, I'm big enough to kill him myself."

"Shorty." Emmett murmured, trying to correct me.

"I can't right now, can I?" I asked. "Or else I'd hunt him down."

"I don't like you talking like that." Emmett shook his head, and I looked over at him from my place in the chair. "You won't be throwing your life away like that."

"I can't help it." I mumbled. "I hate him so much. Letting him live just feels so wrong."

"Ditto." Emmett admitted.

"I know." Jasper spoke this time. "I know how much you hate him, and let me be the first to tell you. It's not good for you to hold that much hate. It'll only grow, consuming you until there's nothing left."

"How do I get rid of it?" I asked, honestly curious.

"Forgive."

I snorted. "Right."

"I'm not telling you to forget. Just forgive. It's the only way to let it go, and gain closure."

"I'll never forgive him for what he did to me." I told him firmly, sitting forward. "No matter how long I live."

Jack was still a very, very sore subject for me. I had a lot of mixed emotions.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "I'm still sore over that." I looked back to the TV.

"That's understandable." He replied. "But you did ask, and I answered you. Forgiveness isn't for his benefit, Leandra. It's for yours. Perhaps when you're older, you'll understand."

I couldn't imagine ever feeling differently. Jack had taken everything from me. That's what Jack did. He took, and took, until I had nothing left to give him. Playing his own mind games, torturing me mentally as well as physically. It was his fault I was the way I was now, scarred mentally as well as physically, and Jasper wanted me to forgive him?

Jasper wanted me to forgive Jack for ensuring, single-handedly, that I'd probably never be a normal kid? And because of that, I'd never be a normal teen, or adult? If I even lived that long.

Jasper wanted me to forgive Jack for all he'd done to me, all the blood I lost and bruises I'd had to hide. All the pain and suffering he gave me for six of my ten years alive. I was certain, one-hundred percent positive, that forgiving Jack for everything he'd done to me was not possible.

I could see why he'd say that, though. Forgiving him would give me peace of mind, and just write the bastard off as nothing more than a memory. As much as I wanted to do that, I couldn't. I couldn't let it go. Not now, not ever.

"Maybe." I sighed. "But probably not." He was quiet for a moment, and I knew he was studying me.

"And well done, by the way." He finally spoke again. I looked over.

"For what?" I asked quietly.

"Controlling your anger." He said. "You were getting quite upset there for a second, but you controlled it. You've always struggled with that."

"Oh. Thanks." I smiled a little, surprised. "I didn't even notice."

"You're getting better at it." He gave me a small nod. "Good job."

"Maybe I'm just tired." As if on cue, I yawned, laying my head back on the chair.

"You were up pretty early this morning." Carlisle commented. "Perhaps you should try to sleep." I actually was. Another nightmare waking me up, my cheeks and the sides of my head soaked in tears I had no control over. My dreams causing me nothing but pain.

"That's why I can't forgive him, even if it's supposed to help me." I sighed. "Even when he's not here, he still hurts me, and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Try thinking about something else before you sleep." Emmett suggested.

"That's fine while I'm awake." I replied. "But when I fall asleep, I can't control where my head goes."

I didn't like where my thoughts had gone, so I peeled myself up off the couch. A little bit of rest didn't sound too bad, even if it was just snoozing. I passed Edward and Bella on the way out of the room.

I was pretty sure my family thought my cooperation was temporary. Waiting day in and day out for my anger to reappear. They expected the bitter reclusive behavior that I'd displayed for so long to come back, but with the support I had from Andrew, Josh and Zack, it somehow made it easier. Things being easier to handle smoothed out my mood.

I hadn't seen them since that morning, the morning I'd told them everything, and it was starting to get to me. I missed them, but I didn't complain. I just waited impatiently.

It didn't take as long as Carlisle thought it would. Under a week after I started wearing the stupid brace, they were fully healed, and I could leave it off.

The first place I went once I was allowed to leave wasn't over to Andrew's house, but I did see Richard and Charlie.

Carlisle was off work today, which was odd, because it was a Friday. Esme thought it was a good idea to get me out of the house for awhile, so she asked if I'd like to go along to run an errand with her and Carlisle. I agreed, of course. I didn't mind. I hadn't a clue what we would be doing, but that didn't matter.

Sitting in the back seat, I watched out the window as the town passed by. I was really stuck in my head today, so I wasn't much for conversation. I usually got like this when the sky looked the way it did. When it was this cloudy, I felt cloudy. I wasn't upset or angry, but calm.

As badly as I wanted to see my friends, I liked this too. Carlisle and Esme were different when they did things together. Still the same, but in a different way. It was pretty interesting to watch them.

I briefly wondered if it was like me and my different parts. Parts I let out around my family, I couldn't let out around Andrew, and I was much lighter around Andrew than I was around my family.

Maybe they just brought out different parts of each other without even meaning to. Whatever it was, it always made me smile.

The first place we stopped was at the police station. I chose not to go inside, but I did climb out to stand there and wait. Before Carlisle even made it inside, he ran into Richard, so I wandered closer.

He smiled, seeming honestly glad to see me.

"Andrew's been losing his mind." Richard laughed. "I'm glad I can tell him you're okay."

"I'm fine." I laughed also. "Tell him I say he worries too much."

"I will." He agreed. "Because he really does. Josh and Zack have been asking about you too. Though they've been pretty excited the last couple of days."

"Over what?" I asked curiously. Hoping Carlisle and Esme didn't mind my stalling.

"Well, apparently their uncle is coming to visit sometime soon." He said. "They haven't seen the guy in months, because he lives so far away in Seattle, so I can definitely understand why they're so excited."

"I get why too. Seattle is pretty dangerous now, isn't it?"

"It is." He agreed. "I'd avoid that place at all costs, or at very least be careful until it settles down."

I smiled, nodding. "Tell everyone I say hi."

"I sure will." He said, nodding as well. "Don't be a stranger, sweetie."

"I'll try not to be."

I decided to follow them anyway. We saw Charlie next, hardly having to go inside for just a moment. I was just fine staying beside Esme, holding her hand as she held mine. I'd gotten better about it.

"Here it is." Charlie spoke quietly to Carlisle. He handed him a rather thick folder full of papers. "All the signatures are there. While you're there, I'd demand to know why this keeps being sent back. Just keep an eye on that one there." He pointed to me, but I knew he was joking. Referring to my tendency to disappear. I would probably never live that down.

"I'm not going anywhere." I replied anyway, and he laughed.

"No." He replied. "I guess you're not." I was glad he saw it that way.

We left after a few more words exchanged. I was back in the back seat, curious to know where we were going next, but I didn't ask. I wasn't complaining. As long as I was anywhere but cooped up at home, I was happy.

I soon figured out where we were headed, when Esme laid out the one main rule I had to follow.

"Stay with us, Leandra." She said. "No running or wandering off while we're there."

"We're going to Seattle, aren't we?" I asked, smiling a little.

"Yes." She answered. "So it's important that you listen to me. Stay with me."

"I will." I nodded, sitting up straighter. "Can I ask why we're going there? Richard said we shouldn't go there. Does it have to do with that folder Charlie gave you?"

"It does." She smiled a little. "But I promise it's for a very good reason." I believed her, so I wasn't worried.

"Don't worry about me." I assured her. "I don't want to end up being a number on the news."

"That's an interesting way to put it." Carlisle commented quietly. I smiled a little. "But effective enough."

I was actually excited, watching out the window the whole time we made our way through the city. Late morning activity around us. It wasn't often anymore that I got excited over anything, but for some reason, I was today. This was exciting. A mystery.

It was cloudy here too, which was a relief for them, I was sure. Again, I didn't care. The city didn't depend on sunlight to be busy. Having grown up in a tiny town like Forks, this was very new to me. I'd seen Phoenix, but that was from out a window. Not in the middle of it like I was here.

The last time I was in Seattle, was for Jack's trial. We hadn't been downtown before, though. So this was a whole other part of Seattle that I hadn't seen.

"Okay." I mumbled as I stepped out of the car. "I get why it's so hard for them to catch the guy."

I looked up and around me. Esme gently took my hand, holding it tight as she and Carlisle spoke to each other briefly. I kept my eyes up, looking up at the sky, and the incredibly tall buildings in every direction. I let her hand go for a second, needing to free my hand from my sweater's sleeve so I could hold hers in return. I felt better that way.

The air was cooler, even for early May. It felt wet, though no rain fell yet. I could feel it. That, in itself, was a good indication that the sun wouldn't be making an appearance today. Just over the sound of the city, I could hear thunder further off in the distance.

I suddenly felt tiny, as I looked around. How easily could I get lost here? How easy would it be to go missing like those others? I stepped closer to Esme's side at that thought. A feeling I'd never had before making me feel insecure. It was an odd mixture of dread, and curiosity. Curious, wanting to wander, but knowing that there was danger here told me not to. My heart pounded a little quicker, and I held tighter to her hand.

"Come on, sweetie." Esme told me, turning. Carlisle took my other side, keeping me between them. I felt safest there, surprisingly. The parking lot we'd wound up in was even huge. The large, red brick building in front of us intimidated me. I noticed that this was a courthouse. Different from the one we visited the last time. Four stories tall, this one was smaller than that one, but I still hated it.

I was less excited now, but a bit nervous.

I eased a little once we were inside, but even the lobby was huge. Carlisle stopped to ask a receptionist a question. Being here made me edgy. Wondering what on Earth they'd have to do here, but I never asked.

"I hate this place." I murmured to Esme. She put her arm around me, hugging me into her side as we continued on across the large lobby, headed for some elevators.

"Why do you hate this place?" She asked quietly. Probably trying to distract me.

"I dunno." I mumbled. "I think because of the last time I was in Seattle. This place reminds me of it."

"You won't have to see him again." She assured me.

"I know." I replied. "But I can't help it. Sometimes I still feel like I will. Some day." I paused as she and Carlisle glanced at each other. "He'll make sure of it as soon as he can."

I jumped a little as the elevator arrived, and we stepped inside. I kept my eyes down as we headed up. To the fourth floor.

There, we stepped out into another lobby sort of area, and we were asked to wait. Along the far right wall were two rows of padded chairs, a table centered in the rows with magazines laying on them.

I sat quietly, looking around at the paintings on the tan colored wall. I think the receptionist expected me to cause trouble, because she kept looking at me, suggesting for me to look at a magazine or something. I turned her down politely each time, but it was beginning to annoy me. It was obvious not many people brought their children here.

"I'm sure you'd be far more entertained looking at something." She insisted, and I sighed. My patience with her finally having run out.

"I'm sure you'd be far more entertained if you did some work or something." I finally grumbled. She gave me a look, before turning her attention back to her computer.

"Leandra." Esme corrected, trying to hide her laughter.

"What?" I asked quietly, sitting back. "I'm not causing trouble. She acts like I'm running around here screaming my head off. I know how to behave. Thank you, miss receptionist."

A few seconds later, Esme reached over and touched my nose. Gaining my attention. I looked to her now.

"What's that glare for?" She asked, taking my hand.

"People thinking they know everything." I mumbled. "Always treating me like I'm something gross."

She gave me a small smile. "Think about how they must feel." She suggested. "You're a ten-year-old ball of hostility. What would you do if one of those came rolling your direction? Maybe if you treated people kinder, they'd be kinder to you."

"No they wouldn't." I shook my head a little.

"You're always so closed off." She replied. "You tell people to leave you alone, without telling them. People read and listen to body language just as much as they listen to words. They don't quite know what to make of you, and that scares them." I looked down.

"Why should I let them make anything of me?" I asked. "They're all worthless."

"Now that isn't true." She argued calmly. "Just because you've run into many not-so-pleasant individuals, doesn't mean you should condemn the entire race." I noticed the receptionist's glance, glaring.

"Can I help you?" I barked, and she looked to me. Giving me yet another look. "I don't think we were talking to you." Esme sighed, holding me tighter.

"That, my darling, is what we need to work on." She murmured. "When you feel like you want to snap, just breathe. You wear your anger and your defense on your sleeve, honey, and that puts a lot of people off. Just breathe." I took a deep breath, as she suggested, and surprisingly, I did feel a little better.

"It's so easy to just look at someone, decide to hate them, and tell yourself that you don't want anything to do with them." Esme continued softly. "But one day, you'll get it. You'll learn that not everybody is there to hurt you, sweetie. Remember how hard you had to try the day you first met Carlisle?" I glanced to him, spotting him watching us. I nodded a little. "It's just like that. Only all you'll be showing them, is your smile, instead of your glare. You'll find that it's easy. It only takes a little bit of effort, but you'll see so many results."

"Okay." I finally sighed, smiling over at her. "I'll try." She returned my smile, putting her arm around me.

"One day you'll find your place, honey." She comforted me. "It's just harder for you because you're so special." I smiled a little wider, leaning against her.

All three of us looked up as a man came out of the long hall to the right, and Carlisle patted Esme's hand as he stood.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm so sorry for the wait." The man sighed. "And I'm so sorry you had to come all the way here. I'm _this_ close to figuring it out for you, but there are just a few things I need to go over with you before we can finish up."

I didn't understand what he meant by all that, but then again, I didn't really try to understand.

Apparently, he was going in alone, because Esme made no move to stand with him. Probably because I was here. I didn't mind that.

We sat in silence now. It was true, I was bored, but I didn't want to give the bitch behind the desk the satisfaction of seeing me lift a magazine. I leaned further back against Esme, stretching my legs out in front of me, sighing quietly. I was starting to get hungry.

About thirty agonizingly boring minutes later, Carlisle came back out.

"We'll come back in an hour. By then, it'll be ready." He told Esme, despite the fact that I knew she had heard the whole discussion, and she smiled, which he returned. "He's made it his top priority."

Esme stood, and I followed. I yawned, glancing to the receptionist as we stepped back into the elevator.

"Should we tell her?" Esme asked gently, her smile still in place.

"I'd rather wait." Carlisle replied. "Let her find out when we sign the paperwork."

I was deeply curious now, but I didn't ask. I didn't want to seem nosy. Whatever this was, it was about me. Something they didn't want to tell me until after they signed stuff. What did that tell me?

Maybe I wouldn't have to go to school anymore. Or maybe it had something else to do with my mom? I wouldn't know what that would have been, as I hadn't heard from her since the last time I saw her, but I still wondered.

I stayed right beside Esme the entire time, looking up at the darker clouds. The humidity was gone now, and I knew at any moment, it was going to start raining.

I had a quick lunch, and we stuck to the general area of the courthouse. The small diner just one street up. I wondered why Carlisle would choose to drive there, instead of just walking there. It would have been far easier to just walk, but again. I didn't ask. He had his reasons for everything he did. I trusted that.

I knew they were talking, but I didn't even try and eavesdrop. I knew their eyes were on me. I was actually comforted by the fact that they kept an eye on me. Trouble usually found me when nobody was watching.

It was busy here in this part of town. Very busy. There were far too many opportunities to people-watch to pick just one person. They were everywhere. Enough to be a very decent distraction.

I was suddenly really glad I hadn't tried to come here when I ran away. Someone my size in a place this big would really disappear. Close calls _here_ would be too close. I shuddered.

This time, when we went back inside the courthouse, our wait was much shorter, and all three of us went right into the small office. Inside the small office, though, there was another guy in there as well that I'd never seen before.

"Mr. Cullen." The new guy greeted. I looked down as they shook hands before I looked around. This office was small, but not too cramped. The man we'd seen earlier sat at a desk, while the new man stood off to the side. Esme greeted this man too as he focused on her as well.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice." Carlisle told him.

I looked around curiously, letting them handle their business. Releasing Esme's hand hesitantly, I slowly walked over to a table under a window. On the table sat several photo frames holding certificates and licenses. Whoever this guy was, he was officially official. I glanced back at the large desk, a sign holding the same name there as the ones in the frames told me the guy sitting there was the official official guy. David Morris.

A name I didn't recognize, so that detail fell into the back of my mind.

I just had to figure out who the guy standing to the side was. He smiled at me when he saw me look at him, but I looked forward again.

I looked up, and out the window. Peering down over what looked like a park. Even with the dark clouds, the city was kind of beautiful. In its own way.

"This must be the lucky little girl." I looked back. It was the same one that had come out of the hallway to talk to Carlisle earlier. David. He smiled at me, and I stayed quiet. Until I remembered what Esme had said earlier. About being closed off.

"Yes, sir." I spoke quietly, nodding a little. "I'm very lucky." I didn't know what he meant, but I really was lucky.

Immediately, he seemed endeared.

"You can have a seat if you want, sweetie." He gestured to the chairs sitting in front of his desk. Two of which were already taken by Esme and Carlisle.

"Okay." I responded, but only looked back out the window. He said if I wanted. I didn't really want to. I wanted to keep looking out the window.

He chuckled, but left it alone as he turned his eyes back to what he was doing on his desk. Speaking quietly with Carlisle and Esme.

My eyes found the park out the window again. I remembered the park I'd visited with my dad. I remembered the talk we had. Everything had been so overwhelming back then. I hadn't thought about that in awhile, so looking back at it now gave me a whole new perspective on it. I'd done some changing since that day.

I wondered how he was doing. I was sad that I wasn't a part of that family, but what I gained in return was so much more than I could have asked for. I didn't belong with him anymore, despite the fact that he was my biological father. He wouldn't know how to handle me. My family knew how to handle me, and they would always be there. They had to be.

Though I was still afraid to believe their promise this time, I knew I would. That little bit of hope was all I had. They knew this, and I was sure they didn't want to break that again. I loved them more than I'd ever had a chance to love anything before, and I knew where I belonged. There was a reason I fought, and went to extremes to keep it.

After what happened with Jasper, I could now appreciate it for what it was. Nothing in the world would ever change that again.

"Leandra." Esme called my attention, and I looked back at her. For a second, I thought I was in trouble, but the look in her eyes told me differently. "Come over here, sweetheart." I did as she asked, slowly crossing the small office, and standing beside the chair she sat in.

Carlisle was busy signing his name on multiple pages in multiple spots. I was a little too far away to read any parts of the pages.

"Do you know what he's doing?" David asked me, a smile on his face.

"Signing things." I said, shrugging. I still hadn't a clue what this had to do with me. I thought I was just along for the ride. To get out of the house for a little while.

Carlisle glanced over, smiling as he reached the last page. Signing his name one last time. He closed and slid the packet of papers to Esme, handing her the pen, before taking my hand and walking me around to stand between where they sat. He turned to me, and sighed, smiling a little more as he took my other hand in his as well.

I was a little uncertain, which made me naturally tense. I wasn't exactly scared, but more uneasy by the fact that they knew something I didn't know.

"Leandra." He murmured. "I know this is something that you've wanted for quite awhile, and I apologize for it not happening sooner." I frowned a little in confusion. "I know you've been nervous. I can't tell you why it took so long, but here we are."

He paused, nodding once to the papers he'd given to Esme. I was close enough to see it now.

I looked at what Esme was now signing, beside his name. Knowing I was looking, she moved her hand a little, allowing me to see. I watched her turn the page, and I scanned the page. I saw my name and birthdate at the top, but above that, one word stood out to me.

Adoption.

She only continued signing her name with the warmest smile I'd ever seen. Over a line reserved for a mother's signature, whereas Carlisle's name was signed over a line reserved for a father's. My eyes widened a little, and I looked to Carlisle again. Completely forgetting momentarily how to breathe, much less speak.

"As selfish as it sounds, I'm tired of not being completely, one hundred percent responsible for you." Carlisle continued. "I'm tired of being forced to let others decide what's best for you." He paused, giving me a comforting smile. "After today, I won't have to. We won't have to."

I couldn't say anything then even if I wanted to. I was still speechless, surprised by the sudden tears that sprung to my eyes. There was no stopping them, as they started right as I gasped in a breath. There was no holding them back as it hit me like a bus.

This was more to me than some signatures on a piece of paper. This was all I could ever have asked for. This was more than I ever thought to ask for. They'd offered it, but I had been hesitant. Skeptical, even. I never thought in a thousand years that this would actually happen.

"I may still be learning about the trials of raising a child, and you'll have to forgive my mistakes because there are bound to be many, but I firmly believe that this is what's best for you. If only to be given the knowledge that you are certainly worth trying for." I sobbed a little, stepping forward and hugging his neck. That was all I could do. I held onto him as he returned the embrace, soothing me as I sobbed into his shoulder.

I felt so stupid for crying the way I was, but it was all I could do to express the way I was feeling. I'd been stuck holding onto that uncertainty, the 'for now' that kept me safe for a few months. Since they'd gotten back in March. I'd tried, and I kept myself in limbo, one foot out and ready to run if it ever became needed. Now, having all that suddenly smoothed out like wrinkles in a shirt, and I felt secure.

I was wanted. I was wanted, and I was safe. I was officially theirs. I had somewhere to go for support, and I had somewhere to go that I'd always be accepted. Always accepted, and never hurt. I'd never be hurt again. Not with what I was gaining now.

My stepfather's last name was taken away, and my past shifted backward in the time it took for them to sign their name. Before the ink was even dry, I was different. With everything about me I had to be ashamed of, I now had something to be proud of. I was now a Cullen. Officially.

This was something that could never be taken away from me. This was mine. They'd given me a family. They'd given me a home. A place where I belonged, both legally, and in my own heart. I belonged now, and nobody could deny that anymore. Least of all, me.

I'd never realized before just how much this would mean to me. It was almost overwhelming, but it was like nothing else I'd ever felt.

I never dared to hope, or to count on it. To even fully imagine it. Now that it was done, I didn't know what to do. I never had to be scared about them giving me away again. I never had to worry. That worry being taken, being eased this way only made me cry harder. Nearly bawling now as I turned, hugging onto Esme next as she set the pen down.

She laughed quietly, holding me in return.

"Oh, honey." She murmured softly, smoothing the back of my head.

All the doubt I'd had before was erased. All the worry, insecurities and fear just disappeared. A piece of me seemed to click into place, like I'd finally stepped onto the path I was supposed to take after being lost in the woods for so many years.

I'd found my place. I'd fought for this place, and it was right here. Right where I was. Nothing else mattered to me. The whole damn world could have hated me for all I cared. This was it. This was everything I needed.

"That's it." David chuckled a little as he lifted the packet of paper. "It's done. Congratulations." He stood. "I'll go make copies, and I'll be right back."

I continued to cry even as he left the room. The other guy stepped out of the room as well, closing the door behind himself. I pulled back, sobbing quietly, trying to calm down enough to speak. Esme's smile as she smoothed my hair from my face was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. She wasn't worried, she wasn't hesitant. I was hers now.

"Thank you." I finally managed to gasp.

"Thank _you_." She returned, and I was confused again. "For giving us this option. Honey, you mean the world to us."

"B-But I've been so bad." I shook my head, trying to understand.

"You haven't been bad." She corrected gently. "No. You're just misguided. Confused. There is so much you don't understand, and you're still learning. So I thank you, Leandra. For giving us this opportunity to teach you."

I sniffled roughly, hugging her again. I couldn't help myself.

"We'll always be here." She murmured. "Always."

"Forever." I mumbled through my tears. She paused for a second, and I knew she was looking to Carlisle.

"Forever." She finally agreed.

It took me several minutes to calm down, sniffling and just getting a hold of myself. I knew nothing would change at home. Things would still be as they always were, but now, it was different. This was better.

David came back after a few more minutes, smiling.

"Alright." He sighed, stepping up to his desk and grabbing a stapler. He stapled two identical packets together, and handed one to Carlisle. "There is your copy." He smiled. "Since you decided against a formal hearing, everything will just be handled from here. Her new birth certificate, and social security information will be mailed to you within the next week or so. If it hasn't gotten to you by then, then just come on back and I'll see what's up. It should, though, so don't worry."

Carlisle nodded, standing.

"Of course." He said. "Thank you so much."

"You're so very welcome, Mr. Cullen." He said. "And again, I'm so sorry this took you having to come in."

I was having some trouble processing the way I felt. Of course I was happy, but it was way more than that. It was a level of happiness I just didn't have what it took to deal with.

I really shouldn't have been surprised at the fact that Alice was there to meet us when we got home. She laughed a little as I hugged her tight.

"This shouldn't surprise you so much." She laughed, but I couldn't reply. It seemed like every time I tried now, I just cried. I glanced behind her at Jasper standing there. He smiled as well, so I knew he was okay with it.

I briefly recalled my days stuck in that hotel room with these two. I had been such a different person then. I'd learned too much about myself since then, but they never treated me differently because of it.

Had there _really_ been a time that I was scared of Jasper? Or Carlisle?

I _was_ surprised, though, to find that she'd invited Andrew, Zack and Josh over. As well as their parents. I knew she probably wanted more than that over, but she stopped at them.

I greeted the three of them when they got there, and their smiles told me they already knew. I was happy about that, because I didn't have to tell them, and start crying all over the place. I had to compose myself.

"See?" Josh said with his smile. "Now you don't have to try to kill yourself because you're afraid they'll get rid of you."

"When you put it that way, it sounds stupid." I grumbled.

"It _was_ stupid, dummy." He nodded to me incredulously.

"I like him." Emmett commented, chuckling.

Their parents stayed as well. Probably to give Carlisle and Esme a chance to meet Josh and Zack's parents, and Richard was just happy for me.

I still felt the same way I had before about Heather. Her long dark brown hair framed her face beautifully. She was pretty much the opposite of Mark. Petite. She was very nice, beautiful and soft-spoken, but there was still something off about her. One little thing I couldn't put my finger on. I didn't want to ignore her for her sons.

"Congratulations, baby." Heather smiled at me when I wandered closer. Right away, that meant something. The name she'd called me was one that nobody besides my mom had ever used, so why would she use it?

"Can.. Can I ask you something?" I asked, sitting beside her.

"Sure." She replied, looking over at me.

"Do.." I hesitated. "Have I met you before that day at your house? Somewhere?"

She laughed. "I was your nurse in the hospital after you were transferred home from Seattle."

"Oh, yeah." I immediately smiled. "I remember you. Sorry it took me so long. That time sucked." That explained it, but even as she laughed and nodded, I wasn't satisfied with that. It had to be more than that. "But where else?"

She looked down briefly before she smiled again. "Nowhere."

Why was she hiding it from me? I gave her a look that told her I wasn't buying it.

"Just know that no matter what, you'll always have me and my guys on your side." She assured me. Meaning, Mark and the boys. "I'm so happy for you, honey. You have no idea." I heard it, the truth in her tone. She laughed. "Can I hug you?"

I was a little surprised she would ask, but I also appreciated it.

In answer, I reached forward first. She quickly wrapped her arms around me, hugging me firmly. As far as I could remember, I'd never taken to anyone as quickly as I took to her. There was just something about her. It wasn't just because she looked familiar. She _felt_ familiar.

I moved on from there, though. If she wanted to keep her secret, I wouldn't pry. Even if it did involve me.

I was happy with just sitting there, letting it sink in. I was still in a kind of shock, but I made a promise to myself right there that I would never forget that feeling. I wasn't sure how, but one day, I would do whatever it took to repay them. I was just one kid, but one day, I would figure out a way.

"Are you okay?" Andrew asked, landing in the seat next to me. He jarred me out of my thoughts, and I smiled over at him.

"Yeah." I replied easily. "Why?"

"You look like you're thinking." He laughed. I shrugged a little. I couldn't help noticing that his smile had never faded the entire afternoon.

"What?" I finally asked, laughing a little. "Why are you so smiley?"

"Nothing." He said, shaking his head. "I'm just really happy for you. I know how much you've always wanted this. This is something you've wanted since I've known you. Now that you're really happy, I'm really happy."

"I know it seems stupid." I shrugged a little. "I mean, I always knew I belonged with them."

"It's not stupid." He argued. "There's just something about making it official. Finally having it permanent, especially with how you lived before. It changes how you feel about things." I laughed a little, surprised. It was his turn to ask. "What?"

I shook my head a little. "It's like you're in my head. All the time."

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked, laughing quietly.

"No." I replied. "It's not bad. It's just a little weird, but in a good way."

"Weird in a good way?" He asked, and we both laughed.

"Yeah." I said, shrugging a little. "I've never really had anyone like that."

"Maybe we just think alike." He said. "I knew there was a reason I like you."

"It's just weird to me, hearing my own thoughts coming from you. But you word them better." I explained, and we both laughed again.

"You'll get used to it." He assured me. "So how's it feel being a Cullen now? I know plenty of kids at school will be so jealous." I didn't care about them. Right then, the other kids didn't mean anything.

"It feels good." I had to admit. "Much better than having my stepdad's name."

"He adopted you?"

I nodded. "Yeah. When I was four." I stood up, wandering toward the kitchen. He followed.

"How many last names have you had?"

"Well.." I sighed. "My dad's last name is Thomas, so I was probably that before I got Wallace as my last name." I laughed a little. "So I guess this one makes three. Then, someday, if I ever get married, I'll change it again. I probably won't, though." I rounded the counter into the kitchen, in search of a soda. I didn't get them often, so when I could have one, I wasn't asking questions.

He frowned a little, leaning against the wall. "That last name sounds familiar. Wallace. I know I've heard it somewhere before."

"It's not that rare." I shrugged. "He probably knows a lot of people. Don't worry about it. It doesn't mean anything to me now. Maybe that's why they wanted to adopt me so fast."

"Well.." He smiled. "I'm glad it happened so quick. You deserve this, Leandra. More than anyone I've ever known." He met my eyes, and for the weirdest reasons, I looked down. "And why don't you wanna ever get married?"

I shrugged. I had so many reasons not to get married. Where would I even start? There was clearly a lot he didn't know.

"Do you?" I asked in return. "Ever wanna get married to someone, I mean?"

"Sure." He replied. "It doesn't seem so bad to me. My dad says it can't just be anybody, though. He tells me all the time that he married his best friend." I looked down. Andrew's mother had died when he was really young. I felt a little bad for bringing it up.

"Until I came here, I've never seen a good one." I answered. "I guess I gave up on it a long time ago."

"Then marry me when we grow up." He suggested. I couldn't help laughing a little. He laughed as well. "What? I'm serious. If we're not married by the time we're like twenty-five, then let's marry each other."

"Wouldn't it be weird?" I wrinkled my nose a little. "You're my best friend."

"Everything is weird with you, but that's what makes it fun." He pointed out, and again, I had to look down. "And you're my best friend. Remember?"

"Hey." I looked over at Zack's voice arriving before I could reply. "Did you guys get lost?" Andrew sighed.

"Yeah." I laughed. "Show me the way."

To my surprise, Andrew looked annoyed, and I gave him a questioning look as I stepped passed him, following Zack.

Andrew never lost that small hint of annoyance the rest of the evening. I had no idea what his problem was. Whenever I'd ask him, he'd just give me a smile and deny it.

He and his dad had to leave before the others, and I made sure to hug him extra tight. Just in case he was still feeling bad. We stood out on the porch while Richard had a few last minute words with Carlisle and Esme, finishing their conversation.

"Okay." Andrew sighed. "There is something kinda bugging me."

"I already knew that." I laughed a little. "What is it?"

He looked down, and I swear I saw him blushing. It was hard to tell with how dark it was outside. What was his problem? I was starting to get worried.

"Never mind." He muttered, shaking his head. "It's stupid."

"No it's not." I laughed. "Come on. What is it? Remember? I told you mine."

I reached out and took his hand, trying to comfort him. He paused for a second, before shaking his head again.

"Nothing." He muttered again, giving me a smile. "I'm just really happy for you."

I gave him a flat look in return, but I smiled anyway. "Thanks." Despite the fact that I didn't believe him. Not one bit. Glancing to the side, we were noticed.

"So, uh.." Andrew laughed a little. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah." I replied. "Bye, Andrew."

"Good night, Leandra." He said, giving me one last smile before releasing my hand and turning. Stepping down the steps without looking back. Richard sighed, chuckling and shaking his head as he followed. After his brief goodbye, I headed back inside with Carlisle and Esme.

"I wonder what that was all about." I murmured.

"Don't worry." Esme told me with a smile. "It'll work itself out."

I flopped down between Zack and Josh once we made it back inside. Zack laughed, but Josh seemed unimpressed. He seemed kind of annoyed too, and it was annoying me.

"Smile." I grumbled, shoving against Josh's shoulder. "Geez. Both you and Andrew tonight. Moody, I swear. I think I like Zack better. He's the only normal one."

Josh gave me a look, Zack and I both laughing. Until Josh leaped over me and took Zack to the floor with a light thud.

"Can't say I didn't see this coming." Mark chuckled. "Don't kill him, Josh. That'd set a bad example."

I shook my head, sighing as I scooted over, now sitting on the very end of the couch. Where Zack had previously been sitting. Emmett shook his head as well, giving me a look.

"What?" I asked. "I like this seat."

I looked down, watching Josh pin Zack's face to the floor. Just in time for Zack to roll out from under him and pull him over. That didn't last long either, though.

"Do they always do that?" Esme asked, obviously concerned for their safety. Both Zack and Josh's wrestling was punctuated by their grunts of effort.

"Several times a day." Mark replied. "Don't worry. They're tough. From what I hear, this little lady has been known to get into it as well." He gestured to me.

"What?" Emmett asked. "No way."

"Just that one time." I shrugged. "But I'm pretty good at it."

"It's true." Zack mumbled from under Josh as he sat on his head. "I can't beat her anymore." I rolled my eyes, reached over and shoved Josh to the side, freeing Zack. He peeled himself up off the floor. "She and Josh haven't gone at it yet. I wonder how that'd go."

"I'd win." I told him, watching as he sat up.

"Oh boy." Emmett snorted, grinning.

"Wanna bet?" Josh asked, looking to me.

"Uh.." Heather spoke. "Maybe not tonight, guys."

"You're on." I replied, grinning. "Some other time, though."

"What?" Josh laughed. "Too scared?"

"No." I replied, standing. "I just know you would lose for sure, and I don't wanna embarrass you." He seemed surprised, and I ignored the laughter behind me. I gave him a look, and walked passed him back toward the kitchen.

I wanted some water this time. I could only handle so much soda, and it was starting to mess with my stomach. Water sounded good.

Josh watched after me for a few seconds, before he followed.

"Sorry." I laughed as he came to my side. "Just picking on you." I really wasn't meaning to be mean.

"It's okay." He laughed also. "You probably would win. You're still pretty tough."

"Thanks." I replied. He watched as I grabbed a glass from the cupboard.

"So.." He started. "What did you and Andrew talk about? Outside? Before he left?"

"Nothing." I told him, confused as to why he was asking. "He's acting weird. Why?" Did it really matter?

"No reason." He shrugged, seeming embarrassed.

"Want some water?" I asked, holding up the glass.

"Sure." He nodded. I grabbed another glass and turned. I filled the first one and held it out. He stepped forward, taking it from me and sipping it as I filled mine. We were quiet for a minute, until he finally spoke again.

"You know he likes you, right?" He asked, and I looked over.

"Who?" I asked, reminded of Andrew and my conversation several days ago.

"Andrew." He said. "He won't say anything, but I know he does. I can tell."

Well, crap. I sighed quietly. So what? Now I had two boys that liked me? What the hell was I doing wrong? This was getting out of hand. Could I still say it didn't matter? Maybe if I just left it alone, it would go away.

"Well, he says you like me." I said, and I watched as he looked down, shrugging a little. "Is it true?"

"I guess." He mumbled. "You're alright. I mean, for a girl."

I laughed, shaking my head. I looked down too, and even in the dark of the kitchen, I saw him look at me. How should I play it off? For once, I didn't have much of a snappy come back.

"Thanks." I said anyway.

"Would it be a bad thing if I did?"

I couldn't help the face I made. It wasn't him, but more of the fact that it was a brand new issue I'd never faced before. Thankfully, the face I made made him laugh.

"What about Andrew?" He pressed a little. "Would it be a bad thing if he liked you?"

I couldn't even imagine that, but suddenly, the earlier conversation made sense. I made another face.

"Then I got time." He laughed, reaching out and hugging me into his side. The way he would do with a friend. I appreciated that. I didn't even really know him that well yet, but I could tell he wasn't someone to get his feelings hurt that easily.

"Josh." Zack called, and he paused. "Dad says it's time to go."

"Yup." Josh replied, releasing me. Josh followed me out of the kitchen, Zack and I leading the way into the living room.

"You're welcome." Zack whispered, and I had to laugh again. Even he could tell I was uncomfortable, and he came to my rescue. They might have looked alike, but Zack and Josh were pretty different. Josh was pretty confident in an obvious sort of way. Zack was less obvious about it, but that didn't stop him from helping me out.

I made it to Esme's side, hugging her. She returned it easily, and I could tell that she was happier than she'd been in awhile. I couldn't blame her. I was too.

The second they left, I had just sat down on the couch. I was fully prepared to just sit there for a second and unwind from the day, when Emmett suddenly stood in front of me. I jumped, not expecting him to be there, but something else caught my attention.

"What.." I frowned. "Why are you holding a baseball bat?"

"I'm prepared." He replied matter-of-factly.

"Where did you even get that from?" I looked around for any obvious bat hiding places.

"It's my job as your official brother to put this puppy to good use." He explained easily. "I might like that Josh kid, but he better rethink some things. I've got perfect aim."

I didn't know what else to do. I laughed. Even harder as he gave the bat a practice swing, but as a golf club. It was horrible, but it was funny. I knew he'd never hurt any of my friends unless it was actually called for, which made it all the more funny.

"Nah." He chuckled along with me as he sat down beside me. "Seriously, though. They're good kids. I think you picked them well, shorty."

"I agree." Esme smiled.

I felt even better about it knowing they approved of them. It was almost rare these days to have done something right.

 **A/N: I was really hoping to give you more than filler, but I liked how this came out. I even cringed at the cheesy parts, but it's so sweet. Let Leandra have it, dang it lol**  
 **As I was saying. I like this chapter. It gives more insight to her life at the moment. I know a lot of people will be happy about this. For a second lol**  
 **I apologize for this taking so long. I've been insanely busy. It's crazy lol**  
 **THANK YOU! To my reviewers. You are my fuel when I forget to eat lol you're all so awesomely awesome. With sprinkles. Because everybody likes sprinkles. (:**  
 **Chapter five _shouldn't_ take so long. Holy crap lol**  
 **Until Five!**


	5. Chapter 5

**ImPORTANT NOTE: It gets kinda dicey in this chapter, but nothing too bad.**

 **Chapter Five**

It'd been about a week since my adoption.

Just as I knew it wouldn't, nothing around the house changed. Aside from one thing. I started talking to Carlisle again like I used to. I was finally able to start to process things out loud like I used to, and it really confused him how I couldn't do that with any therapist or counselor they'd ever sent me to.

Of course there were still things I couldn't tell him. Things I refused to even mention or think about, but it was progress again. He was just as attentive as he always was, and that helped a lot. I actually felt like I'd taken a step forward after standing still for so long.

I still had my problems with my dreams, but even I had to admit that they weren't as intense anymore. Until one night in particular.

I was supposed to be going to Andrew's house the next day, so the family could hunt. I didn't pass it up. I was just fine with that, so I knew it wasn't nerves that caused this night's nightmares to be as bad as they were.

About the third time I woke up, I was getting so angry at the way I cried. I felt so stupid in so many ways, and the fact that I just couldn't let myself rest was making everything worse. I was so tired, so every emotion was overwhelming.

The fourth time I woke up, choking right through a panicking sob, all I did was sit there. I'd had my cry, so I sat there numbly. Staring, exhausted, at the bunched blanket in front of me, curled into an insecure upright ball on my pillow.

Carlisle had been the one to wake me up this time, and I knew he could see how tired I was. How worn down I was getting. He was looking at the result of the war between needing sleep so badly, and having a broken mind. One that turned against me without warning, and chose to keep me awake with memories I couldn't stand to watch over and over and over.

I considered a night _bad_ if I woke up more than twice because of these dreams. A normal night was once or twice, and a good night was one that I got to sleep through.

I had no idea what caused a bad night. Why I could have a good one the night before, but a bad one the next. I knew Carlisle didn't know why either, because of the way he looked when he saw me torturing myself. I knew if he'd known the cause, he'd do everything he could to change it. That was another topic entirely.

It'd been awhile since I last had a bad night, so I should have been grateful, but I really wasn't. Not only were they exhausting, but it took a lot out of me in every other way. Unfortunately, my bad nights were things that took at least a day, sometimes two days to recover from.

"Perhaps it'll help you to talk about these dreams." Carlisle suggested quietly after enough silence. I looked over at him, staying quiet. Just a few weeks before, I would have instantly declined, but now I had to reconsider. There was no one else I felt safer with, and as of a week ago, he was officially my dad.

He'd already given me so much. The least I could do was try. The least I could do was try to help him understand me a little better. Give back just a bit of the effort he'd already given me.

"My dreams aren't just one thing." I mumbled in reply. "It's hard to.. I don't know how to talk about them, because.. It's not just one thing, but it's all at once. Everything just sort of piles up, and it takes a second after I wake up for everything to just shut _off_."

I knew he was surprised to finally get some kind of answer regarding talking about my dreams, but he shook that off.

"What stands out the most to you?" He prompted.

"The worst part of it is hearing his voice again." I admitted, keeping my eyes down. "When he used to talk to me before, it wasn't just.. I didn't just hear his voice, but I felt it too. I dunno if that makes any sense, but.."

"It makes sense." He understood.

"But.." I continued. "When I'm asleep, I feel that again, and it's.. I feel like I can't breathe. Like he's right there with me, and I can't stop it." I closed my eyes around several tired tears. "There's still so much nobody can ever know. It's those things that come back when I sleep, but I can't ever talk about them. I don't know how to fix it."

"Breathe, Leandra." Carlisle reminded me, and I did as he suggested. I hadn't even realized I held my breath. I took a deep, shaky breath, forcing back exhausted sobs. This exhaustion felt like a physical ache.

"I think eventually you're going to have to talk about those things." I looked over at him through tearing eyes. "I understand you don't want to, but why?"

"Because I don't even like thinking about them." I cried quietly, my voice trembling lightly. "It's.. It _scares_ me so bad. Those things.." I couldn't continue. I lowered my head, hiding my face behind my drawn-up knees.

I sniffled roughly and went on. My voice breaking more by the second.

"I don't wanna be this way anymore." I looked over at him, and I could read my own expression in the way his saddened. "I wanna be done. I want it to be over. Why can't it be over?"

I knew I was acting like a baby, but the lack of sleep was making it hard to control that. It was pain like this that Jasper had used against me. My anger usually covered this.

"I don't get it." I cried, hiding my face again. "I don't know why it hurts so bad."

Moments like this when I just couldn't breathe through the pain. It was this pain that didn't fade with the bruises. I stupidly thought it would, but it had stayed. It'd stayed, and gotten worse. I didn't even know why those things could still hurt me as bad as they did. Why were memories capable of causing this much pain in someone that now had everything I ever wanted.

I hadn't even realized how tense I was until Carlisle had to pull my hand away from where it clung to my other arm. I was holding it too tightly. I looked up at the contact, and though I didn't pull away, I still cried harder. Like just the contact was enough to break me. I cried harder, but I held onto his hand instead.

It was a simple gesture, holding my hand, but it was all I had right then. I knew he could feel the way I trembled, despite how hard I tried to stop it. He needed to know, though.

"I can't tell you about those things because.. I can't tell you what I've done."

The guilt was clear in my shaky whisper. I knew it, but I couldn't change it. The concern in his eyes only grew. He made no move to drop my hand, but I waited for it.

"Leandra, let me explain something to you." He murmured gently. "No matter what it is, I can assure you that it was in no way your fault. There is absolutely no way anyone can dare to claim that it was."

"You don't even know, though." I cried, almost begging him to understand. I needed him to know how I felt. I felt like he was wasting his time. I felt like I wasn't worth it, but he still wasn't letting go. He was there, and far more steady than I was.

"I don't need to know." He replied firmly but quietly. "I know you. Those things, Leandra, are what need to come out the most. Maybe not tonight, but eventually. Hiding them only feeds into the fear you constantly feel, and that's not helping you. You've lost so much faith in yourself over those things that you actually believe that you simply can't do it.

"But one day, you will." He went on. "And I want you to understand that whenever you feel you're ready to talk about those things, I'll always be here to listen."

That was all he had to say. I crawled forward without a hint of hesitancy and hugged him. Kneeling up to reach, I hugged his neck. My arms landing heavily on his shoulders, but he didn't seem to mind in the least.

"And no matter what it is.." He went on, returning my hug firmly. "Not a single one of us will ever judge you for it. Least of all, me. I could never lose a single ounce of faith in you for something you had no way of changing."

He did have a point. I didn't have a way to change it. I would have given _anything_ to change it. All those rainy nights, stuck in the darkness both in my room, and inside my head.

I leaned back, releasing him. I kneeled there, and covered my eyes again instead as I continued to cry. Carlisle still had no idea how badly this was hurting me. I was _tired_ of hearing Jack's blame. He had no idea how badly I wanted to listen to him, instead of believing Jack's words. I was so tired of hating myself over those things I had no way of changing.

But Jack's blame was a whole lot louder on very little sleep, and every word I still heard only made that worse.

I forced myself to take a deep breath when I couldn't. With that breath, though, Jasper must have decided to have some pity on me and help me out, because I could breathe again. I started to calm down. The trembles stayed, and my tears continued for another minute, but they were slowing down.

That tried to make me feel worse, that I couldn't even calm myself down without his help, but with Jasper's help, I couldn't feel it. With his help, I could ignore the emotional wounds, and just focus on putting those memories back where they needed to go.

Jasper was like a band-aid for those emotions that I couldn't control. I hated that he was probably hurting too over feeling all I felt, but I really did need his help.

Carlisle sat with me the whole time, watching silently the process I had to go through to fully calm down. It involved a lot of holding my breath until my heart stopped pounding so fast. My head ached from all the intense emotion all at once, and just how hard I'd been crying, but I knew that would stop as soon as I fully calmed down.

However, I absolutely hated how stuffy my nose was now. That was always the worst part, because it always made my voice annoy me. Now that I was calmer, I could care. My eyes felt puffy and sore, and more tired than they were before.

I eventually sat back down, as kneeling was starting to hurt, but I wasn't curled up anymore. It took several minutes until I finally sat there, calmer and quiet. I still looked like shit, but at least I didn't feel like it anymore.

"I wish you knew." I mumbled, looking over at him. "I wish you knew how much I wanna believe you, but.. I know you wouldn't say that if you knew any of it. You wouldn't say it, and I wouldn't have to believe it."

"I'll always say it." He countered.

"We all will." I looked over, surprised at Alice's arrival in my bedroom doorway. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help overhearing."

"It's okay." I sighed heavily. I watched her walk in, carefully sitting on the other side of my bed. I could tell she had a lot on her mind. I must have given her something to think about.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked quietly.

"Sure." I replied, looking back down. I didn't care.

"Do you know what intuition is?"

"Is now a good time?" Carlisle asked, and she threw him an apologetic look. I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but she obviously thought it was a good time.

"I don't know what that is." I replied anyway.

"Instinctively knowing something." She explained. "Knowing something is going to happen before it does. It can be a feeling, or anything that feels off."

I looked up in thought. Instinctively knowing something was off.

"I never really thought about it before." I mumbled. "But I do that all the time."

"You do?" She asked. "Can you give me an example?"

I couldn't really use my entire life with Jack as an example, because I always knew something was going to happen. It had been the most consistent thing in my life. The first time I really noticed it outside of that, was here.

"Last year." I answered quietly. "I was nervous before you guys got back from that baseball game." She smiled a little, but it faded. "And before the trial. I _really_ didn't wanna go, because I knew something like that was going to happen."

"Any others?" She pressed.

I hummed in thought. "Bella's birthday party. I think it was my fault Jasper was distracted that day, because I was so nervous, I thought I'd puke. I know he noticed." I paused. Recalling another. One I hadn't even noticed at the time.

"Back in December." I said. "I knew Laurent was out there before I even left the house."

"How?" She asked.

"I dunno." I replied. "I just.. I dunno. I _felt_ like it." I paused as she nodded. "Why?"

"Can you describe those dreams again?" She asked instead of answering. "I don't mean tell me what they are, unless you want to, but I want to hear what they do." I knew what she meant.

I hesitated, taking a deep breath. It was so nice to be able to breathe again.

"It's hard to explain." I mumbled quietly, smoothing my sleeve nervously. "It's like.. Five or six different memories all at once. Not like.. Bits here or there, but like whole memories on top of each other. Sometimes I look at one, knowing there's four more behind it. But.. There's always something different in each one."

She nodded slowly, understanding now.

"When it's just one, it's usually a really bad one." I went on. "It's just one this time. They're all _so_ real. Like as real as me talking to you."

"And when you wake up?" She asked.

"It's.." I hesitated. "It's weird. It takes a few minutes to really.. _Wake_ up. Sometimes I could be sitting up, but it's still going. I still hear the things I heard. I still smell the things I smelled. I hate when that happens so much because it's like part of my mind doesn't wanna listen to me."

"Are your dreams always about memories?"

"Not always." I answered. "Sometimes it's just him. Know what I mean?" She nodded. "The memory ones are worse because I know what happens, but I can't wake myself up in time to not have to see it." I needed to ask again. "Why?"

"Do you want to try again?" Carlisle asked quietly. I started to sense they didn't want to answer that question.

"To talk about it?" I asked hesitantly. My voice was so weak, it broke.

He gave a nod, but I had to think about it. Were any of these memories okay enough to talk about? They tried to terrify me just by thinking about them. With Jasper's help, they didn't scare me as bad, but I still couldn't make myself admit to them. My mind stopped me every time I tried. No sound would come out.

I slowly curled back up into my ball, hugging my knees again, and I looked over apologetically. All of my worst memories involved things I couldn't make myself tell him about. I felt sick. A physical feeling, because my emotions were in Jasper's control, but my stomach actually hurt, just remembering the things that happened in the dark.

"It's just.." I said instead. "I-I can't."

"I understand." He replied.

"I want to." I mumbled. "I kinda want to, because I _know_ how much it helps to talk about it. I just.. I can't, because I don't know _how_ to say it.."

"I've got an idea." Alice spoke up, standing up. "Hold on."

She dashed from the room, and I looked down.

She was back only seconds later. In the time it took me to breathe in for a sigh, she was standing beside the bed again, holding what looked like a hard cover notebook. Like one I'd use for school, but obviously brand new. She held it out to me, and I hesitantly took it. Along with the pen she held out next.

"Write it down." She suggested. "All of it." Oh. I looked down at the brand new notebook, looking it over. "No one will ever read a single word in there that you don't want us to, but it'll help you process what is happening in these dreams, and maybe, it'll make it easier to talk about it."

If I could write them down, it would give me an idea how I wanted to word it, should I choose to talk about it. I also knew they wouldn't read it unless I wanted them to. I trusted them, and I knew they trusted me to talk about this stuff in my own time.

That was actually a really good idea.

"Thank you." I said, looking up at her. I'd never thought of doing it that way.

"And what about drawing?" She asked. "Have you given that up?"

"No." I mumbled. "I just don't have any more paper." I did like to draw, but I'd filled the drawing pad full of paper I'd gotten for my birthday all in one day. On a bad day back in October.

"Can I look?" She asked, and I shrugged. I nodded toward my closet. It was in the box of random stuff I didn't feel like I needed enough to unpack, and I didn't care if she saw it.

While she turned to my closet, I reached for a hair tie. I felt too hot and having my hair down was bugging me. I gathered my hair up and off my neck, quickly tying it up in a loose and messy ponytail.

Alice found it rather easily. Flipping it open, finding the absolute mess that was the real effort of my angry scribbles across the first page.

On the center of the piece of once-white paper, were only black, oval shaped scribbles. Three scribbles, but different sizes, and on all of those scribbles, I'd gone over them with red. Layering the colors black and red, more red than black, so it made the red darker. Even darker when I'd press harder onto the page.

The same color red underneath the scribbles, pooling out from beneath them across the page, but between them was a darker black than they had on them or under them. It was basically just one big mess of black and dark red on one page, but the effort was there. Just enough to know the difference between the blacker black of the page, and the reddish black of the ovals.

It showed anger, effort in each pass with the colored pencil. Stress in the paper. I didn't see anything wrong with doing it at the time, but I knew it was a little weird.

Every page, front and back, was the same way. Some a little different. Some torn through, some ripped out completely. There could almost be shapes in the scribbles, but not quite enough to tell.

I didn't feel like looking too closely as she slowly flipped through them. I didn't want to see those again, so I kept my eyes forward. Back on the bunched blanket at the foot of my bed.

"I see." She finally said, but her voice wasn't at all judgmental. "We'll get you another one." I kept my eyes down as Carlisle stood up, crossing the room to her. He carefully took the book of paper from her, looking it over himself.

"When was this?" He asked.

"October." I answered quietly, glancing over at him briefly. "When I was stuck at home. Right after my mom made me meet her stupid boyfriend. I dunno why I didn't just throw it away."

"Can I ask why you did this?" He asked, looking over at me.

"I don't really know." I sighed. "But it kinda looks like how I feel all the time. I mean, I don't feel that way right now, because of Jasper, but that's usually it." He looked back down at it, slowly turning pages. "How am I supposed to tell anyone what _that_ feels like?"

"I think this is pretty effective." Alice replied. I looked over, but she smiled a little comfortingly. That made me feel a little better.

"I know it's weird."

"It's how you feel?" Carlisle asked, closing the book.

"All the time." I sighed tiredly.

"Leandra, this worries me. What do you and the counselor talk about?" He asked. "During your visits?" Esme or Carlisle weren't really allowed to be there unless it was needed, and they must never have listened in. How was this a surprise to him?

"She asks me to tell her what I think about." I grumbled. "I never talk to her, but she doesn't quit trying. That's why I wanted to stop going."

"Why won't you talk to her?" He asked.

"Why should I?" I asked in return. "They say they're worried about what's going on in my head, when they don't even wanna know about it, because they'd just freak out. All I want is to just be left alone. It's none of their business what I think or dream about. It's not their problem."

"Leandra, if you're feeling like this, that's a sign that something is wrong." He explained, and I slowly looked up. I didn't like what he was telling me. Not that it was news to me, but it bothered me to hear him say it. Beside him, Alice looked down.

"That's what I've been saying." I sighed. "Nobody believes me. I _know_ something is wrong with me. I don't dream about the things normal kids dream about, and I don't think the way normal kids think, but I'll draw a stupid house next time. Maybe then I won't get in trouble."

I was getting defensive. Before he even replied, I realized that. Taking a breath, taking a metaphorical step back. I took a second to really think about how I was feeling, and that helped because I realized that he wasn't trying to make me feel bad. He was finally letting me in on his side of things.

"You're not in any trouble." He assured me. "We just want to help you. That's all."

"I can't be helped." I told him simply. I sighed, and I knew the more denial I gave him with this, the more he'd insist on talking about it. So I shrugged a little. "It's fine. I'm used to it." He didn't seem convinced, "I told you. It's not a pretty place in my head. It never has been. That's why I don't blame Edward for staying away from me."

"That isn't why he hasn't been around, Leandra." Alice corrected gently. "He spends most of his time with Bella. Day and night."

"I know it bothers him." I admitted.

"Only because he knows he can't make it easier on you, and he doesn't want to intrude." She explained. "It's not you."

Instead of insisting, I chose to lay down, curling into a comfortable ball on my side. Being numb made me feel even more tired than I was before.

"Are you still up for visiting Andrew tomorrow?" Carlisle asked, stepping back over to the bed. "If not, I can stay home." He took the hint, and brought my blanket up over me. Straightening it a little when it became necessary.

"No." I replied. "I still want to. I like spending time with him. He makes all _that_ kinda stop for a little while." I nodded toward the book he still held. "Like I don't have to look at it for a minute."

He nodded with a quiet sigh.

In order to fall back to sleep, I had to trick myself. I couldn't think about it, or I would sit up. Somewhere near four in the morning, I finally fell back to sleep. I'd asked Jasper awhile back to stop controlling my emotions while I was asleep, because without that fear there, I didn't think to wake myself up. It messed with my head, and trapped me asleep at the same time.

So when I fell asleep, I was able to be afraid again. This dream was different. Of course it still involved Jack, but I didn't recognize anything else aside from the fear.

I got a few more hours of sleep, only to wake myself up yet again just passed dawn. I felt sick, but I had a feeling it had a lot to do with the dream, and would pass soon enough.

I really gave up after that. I had the worst ache in my head that I wasn't used to, but I was still looking forward to staying the night at Andrew's house. I knew the family really needed a good hunt, and the only way they could get one was knowing I was safe.

I wasn't sure how it was going to go, though. I was a little nervous. I knew I had to look like crap, but that was partly why I was wanting to go ahead with it. If there was one thing I could use, it was Zack and Josh's comic relief.

Emmett was plenty funny, but here, I could be moody. I allowed myself to. There, I had to at least hide it a little bit, and lying to myself sounded so good right then.

I was a little surprised to find Josh and Zack there too when I was dropped off at Andrew's house that late afternoon. The clouds were pretty thin today, and it was nice for early summer, so I didn't blame Carlisle for not getting out of the car. Everyone was hanging out outside anyway, so he really didn't need to.

I hadn't even fully gotten my bag out of the back seat before Zack approached.

"If anyone asks.." He told me. "You're in Japan." There were so many confusing parts to that statement, it took me a second to actually process it.

" _What_?" I frowned. I still didn't get it.

"We might have started a rumor that you moved to Japan to live with your cousin." He explained. "They have a robot butler."

"Why couldn't it have been Utah or something?" I asked, finally moving far enough to close the door.

"Too close." He replied. "They might have spies there." What must it be like to live in his head? I could never imagine having time to think about things like that. I was too busy thinking about everything else.

"Won't they know I'm not in Japan when they see me here?" I asked, slowly taking a few steps away from the curb.

"I got you covered." He held a finger up, before reaching back into his pocket. Producing a rubbery hockey mask. Grinning like he'd just solved world hunger as he presented it to me.

"Um.." I muttered, taking it from him and looking at it. I didn't have the heart to tell him I would rather set this mask on fire.

"Your new name is Becky, and you don't speak English."

"Um.." I said again, turning it over. I looked back at Carlisle still there, and I could swear I saw him laughing as he drove away.

Okay, it was a little funny. I wandered toward the house. Andrew stood up from where he sat on the grass, jogging to my side with a laugh.

"My dad got called to work." He said, opening the front door for me. "So they thought we should hang out at their house." Josh and Zack's house. I understood perfectly.

"Cool." I replied easily. "Be right back." He nodded as I dashed inside and up the stairs. I threw my bag into his bedroom, and left the house again. I didn't want to make them hang around here longer than I had to.

"Put your mask on, Becky." Josh teased as Andrew locked the front door. I shot him a look, but I failed at hiding my tired smile.

From there, we started walking toward the back road leading to Josh and Zack's house. Keeping together, though.

I kept an eye out the entire way, but the street remained clear ahead of us. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I hoped it was something good. We made it to their house without an issue.

I came to sit with them on the front lawn. The lawn was partially surrounded by a fence, so sitting was okay. It really was a nice day, but there were only a few more hours left in it. I laid onto my back in the thick grass. I couldn't help it.

"I'm so tired." I complained.

Zack laid down next to me. "Me too."

"Mom told you to stop playing that video game last night." Josh replied to him. "But you never listen."

None of them knew this level of exhaustion. I was sure of it. Nights like the night before took almost everything out of me.

"When are you coming back to school, Leandra?" Andrew asked randomly. "You're gonna miss the field trip."

Andrew and Josh seemed to be acting more like themselves today, which I appreciated immensely. I didn't know what I was going to do if they still had their weirdness about them. Maybe smack some sense into them?

"I've still got a week left." I answered, closing my eyes when looking up at the sky started making me dizzy. "Then it's back to school just in time to get let out for the summer. They really didn't think this through." I paused, frowning. "What field trip?"

"To Seattle." He said. "It's for the fifth grade class only." I hadn't heard about that.

"Why would they want to take the class there?" I was honestly surprised. "Some crazy guy is running around there killing people, so they think it'd be fun? I'd be surprised if more than three people go."

"It's just to see the museums and stuff." He shook his head. I grunted as I sat up tiredly, now sitting cross-legged. Zack idly reached over and plucked a piece of grass out of my hair for me.

"There's fun stuff to do in Tacoma." I pointed out. "And it's the opposite direction."

"They go there every year, Leandra." Josh countered. "I went when I was in fifth grade." I shrugged a little. I'd made my point.

"Carlisle wouldn't let me go, anyway." I said. "Not that I want to. Unlike _you_ guys, I stay away from danger."

"Right." Josh snorted.

"What?"

"Danger follows you around like a cloud, Leandra." He stood up with a laugh. "You have to wear a mask, or we'll have to run."

"Running is good for you, isn't it?" I countered. "You should thank me."

"I don't think running for your life counts, little girl." I _hated_ anyone calling me that. It grated on my nerves so quickly, it was all I could do to keep myself from immediately punching him in the face.

I stood up as well.

" _Don't_ call me that again." I warned him firmly.

"What?" He asked, grinning. I could see he'd found a new button to press. "It's true."

"Here we go." Andrew sighed with a small laugh.

"Say it." I spun in the yard, fully facing him. "I dare you."

"Little." He poked my nose and I glared. "Girl."

I swung, balling my fist as I did so and landing a swift punch in his stomach. He lost his breath in a loud grunt, crumbling to the grass. Rolling a little.

"Leandra." Zack was laughing uncontrollably.

"Oops." I turned, grinning as I took a few steps away to stand beside Andrew.

"He deserved it." Andrew laughed. "This just teaches him not to make her mad on purpose."

"Oh, shut up, Andrew." Josh gasped, trying to regain his breath.

"I told you." He laughed again. "When you two first met, I told you guys. Don't piss her off, or she'll knock your teeth in. It's kinda what she does."

After about a minute, Josh managed to push himself up, standing. I turned, facing him again. I knew it. I knew he was going to keep going. He was going to keep pressing. I called it before he even opened his mouth.

"You can do better than that, little girl."

His bravery was impressive. He said it again even after I punched him.

I raced toward him, but this time, he turned and ran. Laughing at how easy it was to piss me off. He rounded the yard, which ended at the driveway, just missing me. He was faster than me, which just bugged me.

I wasn't sure if I was even still mad.

"What's wrong, Josh?" I shouted after him. "Afraid of a little girl?"

He slid to a stop sooner than I anticipated.

"Whoa!" I shouted, and before I could stop myself, I slammed into him. Knocking both of us into the garage door, and bouncing back. I landed on my butt, but Josh managed to stay standing.

I shook my head, slightly dazed as I lost my breath for a second.

He stood there, surprised, and I couldn't help almost literally rolling with laughter. When I could breathe again. After a moment, he started laughing as well.

"Are you two okay?" Zack asked, surprised. "Because if you are, you won't be after dad sees that dent in the door." Josh and I both looked over at the same time, looking at what he was talking about, and we both only laughed harder. Zack shook his head. "I'd fake an injury."

"Play dead." Andrew suggested, wandering closer.

"What the fuck was that?" Sure enough, Mark came outside, quickly taking the situation. "Are you guys okay?"

"I'm okay." I laughed.

Mark's eyes landed on the door, and he sighed, giving Josh a look. "Really?"

"I'm sorry, dad." Josh laughed as well. "It was my fault."

"Well, knock it off." Mark grumbled. "Seriously, guys. Be more careful, would ya?" Josh offered his hand to me. I accepted it, standing with a groan. "Are you all going to tear down the house while I'm in Seattle? Because if you can't control yourselves, then how about you four go to Andrew's house? Destroy his house for a change."

He was chuckling, so I knew he wasn't very mad. He reached out, took both of our shoulders in one of his hands and gently pushed us away from the now dented garage door.

"Go _that_ way."

"I wanted to go with you." Zack whined. "Can I?"

"Then get in the car, kid." Mark laughed. "Whoever else wants to go, get your butts in the car. I've just got to grab a few things, and we're gone."

With that, he turned. Heading back inside.

"Aw." I frowned. "That means we have to go back to Andrew's house anyway."

"When dad wants to go somewhere, he kinda just goes." Zack explained. Meaning, little to no warning or heads up.

"You guys wanna come?" Josh asked, looking to Andrew and I.

"I just got back from Seattle." I whined, slouching a little.

"Come on." Josh sighed. "Please? Keep me company. Zack's annoying as hell on long car rides."

"I can't." Andrew shook his head. "I've still got a book report to write before Tuesday. My dad's gonna kill me if I don't turn that in, but you can go if you want, Leandra."

Josh looked at me, hopeful. "Please?"

"What's in Seattle?" I sighed, considering it.

"Dad's going to pick up mom's brother." Zack answered.

"Oh yeah." I recalled. "Andrew's dad said something about your uncle coming to visit."

"He's moving back to town, and needs a place around here to stay while he looks for a house." Josh explained. "So he'll be staying with us for a few days. You can meet him. Trust me, Leandra. He's the coolest. He buys us anything we want. He's even cooler than dad, but don't tell him I said that."

"Wow." I said, revealing my surprise. I thought Mark was pretty cool as it was. At very least, I didn't mind him so much anymore. The fact that he wasn't even mad at the dent, eased me quite a bit. Probably because he could probably just go on the other side, and push it out. It wasn't that bad.

"Mom says he spoils us, but I don't think so." Zack commented.

"You wouldn't." I laughed a little. Looking to Andrew, I hesitated.

"Go ahead." Andrew said easily. "I gotta get that report done anyway. You'll just be bored sitting around."

"I just know how you get when you're trying to work on stuff." I told him apologetically. "We'll probably be back by tonight. Are you sure you won't hate me?"

"Yeah." He nodded, and his tone told me he was being truthful. "Go ahead. Just don't run off, or I _will_ kinda hate you."

"Alright." Mark came back outside. "We have to be back before your mom, Zack, so let's get moving. She's going to be so surprised."

"Can Leandra come too, dad?" Josh asked, heading toward the car.

"Yeah." He said. "Duh. Come on, people. Andrew, are you coming?"

"No, sir." Andrew answered. "I have homework."

"Well, darn." Mark said. "It's okay. Maybe next time."

I didn't see the harm in going. I wasn't going to wander off. I wasn't going to get lost. I was going to stick right beside Mark, and I was going to be good.

If Alice even saw me going along with them, that was. She'd been so stressed lately. Esme said she'd been trying to watch for too many things. I knew when that happened, she missed a lot of other little things.

I felt bad for her. I really did, but I climbed into the back seat anyway. Josh sat up front, and Zack was beside me. I knew on the way back, we'd all three be crammed back here, but I didn't mind.

I knew I should have asked for permission before agreeing to go, but in my defense, there wasn't enough time to call. Even if I wanted to interrupt their hunting trip, which I didn't. It was a split decision that I hoped I could get away with.

Zack and I pretty much kept each other occupied, so we never paid attention to anything said in the front seat. I eventually had to take off my jacket, because it was too warm in the car. I was sure my nervousness added to that.

The entire way, though, I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of dread once again. My stomach doing little flips. Now and then my heart sped up in nervousness. I wrote it off as being nervous about being caught. Or getting into trouble for coming along with Mark.

Or maybe I was nervous to meet a new person. They said he was alright, and I had to trust them. I didn't know who this was. Oh god, what was I thinking? Not only was I purposefully going to the most dangerous place I could right now, but to meet a strange new person.

What if this was the serial killer?

I forced myself to stop thinking. My anxiety running away with me, straight into 'what if' land. Every thought I could think of to make myself hate this guy already. Heather, their mom, was nice enough. I liked her. This guy will be cool too. Despite that thought, I couldn't shake the fear settling even deeper into my stomach the closer we got.

"You okay?" Zack had noticed I was falling quieter and quieter right as we reached Seattle. It had been a very long trip, so I wasn't surprised.

"Yeah." I muttered. "Just thinking."

"Almost there, guys." Mark spoke from his seat. I hoped it was soon, because I really didn't want to throw up all over the back seat.

In my unease, my mouth had gone dry. I was thankful to find out that we were meeting this guy at a gas station and small general store, and we weren't going too far into the city. The lights outside this general store were harsh in the fading evening, and it messed with my head a little bit.

"Can I go in?" I asked once we'd parked. I just needed to reset a bit. This wasn't such an unfamiliar feeling. I was always scared nowadays.

"Yeah. I need to stretch too." Mark stood, pulling out his wallet. Opening it, he handed Josh a $20 bill. "Go get yourselves something to eat." Josh nodded, turning. "Nothing messy. And nothing too filling. We'll eat when we get home."

I nodded a little at that, following Josh inside. Zack followed me. It was already pretty dark, but I knew if we were to leave soon, we'd still get back before Heather would. It'd be close, though.

I didn't really understand what was bugging me so bad. We were nowhere near where all the murders and stuff were happening, but I also knew that wasn't what I was so worried about. It wasn't the same feeling. Besides. We weren't sticking around, and Seattle was _huge_. The chances of me running into trouble in this little gas station were very small.

It did feel good to stretch a little, though. I started to believe maybe I was just a little claustrophobic. Maybe I was car sick? Maybe how tired I was had a lot to do with it. I started to believe it was nothing, if only for a second. Part of me just wanted to get this over with. Part of me just wanted to get home. This had been a bad idea.

This feeling was actually getting worse. I hadn't the slightest clue what the hell was wrong with me, and I actually worried I was really about to throw up. I wasn't particularly hungry, so I just grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to Josh.

"I'll be back." I told him and he nodded. I rounded, walking swiftly between cramped little aisles filled with junk food and paper towels. I held my breath in hopes that would help.

The little hallway marked for the restrooms was pretty cramped. I bumped into someone on their way out of the Men's room, but I didn't bother to look up.

"Sorry." I muttered, too preoccupied to do much of anything else.

I jumped roughly as this person I bumped into suddenly had a hold of my arm. I was jerked around, shoved through the door of the women's restroom, and crowded as he followed me in.

Instant terror kept me silent at first, and all I could do was watch as he locked the door before finally looking up. Before I could make any type of sound, my mouth was covered and I was pinned up against the wall just behind the door.

I opened my eyes, my head spinning with how fast everything happened. It had been awhile since I'd felt exactly like this. The icy panic that swept through me in seconds chased away the urge to throw up, but that returned full force as I looked up and met firm gaze holding the same ice dark blue eyes I recognized so well. The same ones I still remembered clearly, and saw every time I slept.

After all the time I spent telling myself that Jack was gone for a very long time, trying to force myself to believe it, here I was. Right back in Jack's hands. He was real again. He was here, and I couldn't move.

Once that really sunk in, I took a second before I started fighting behind his hand, kicking as hard as I could. I started sobbing immediately, but he cut that off by pressing his hand harder to my mouth.

"Shut the fuck up." He growled quietly to me. Keeping his voice down. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I hadn't calmed down enough to stop crying, much less answer him.

I was shaken out of those cries as he slapped me upside my head a few times.

"Pay attention. Focus, you stupid bitch. I asked you a fucking question. _Why_ are you here?"

He carefully uncovered my mouth, but continued to grip my face, probably so I could actually answer him.

"I don't know." I couldn't remember why I was here at all. All that mattered was that I was here, and he was here, and I was probably going to die in a few seconds.

"Who brought you here?" He asked, very clearly annoyed.

I could remember that one. "M-Mark-"

"Listen to me." His voice was quiet, hardly a whisper but it was more than enough to shut me up. "One fucking word.. If you say one fucking word to any of them about anything, I will _end_ you."

What was he talking about?

I couldn't breathe, shaking so hard, much less think straight.

"I don't know how you found them, you little bitch, but if you fuck this up for me, I will make sure you're _never_ found."

I breathed in sharply, enough to speak.

"What?"

"Figure it out." He snapped in a low growl through his teeth, moving his hand lower to grip and squeeze my neck. Shutting me up yet again as he pinned me hard to the wall. I was nearly off my feet as it was, my toes barely reaching the floor. "I'm not playing around."

I did understand that much.

"Do you hear me, bitch?" I struggled, but nodded my head. "Good."

He fell quiet, looking me over. I squirmed under his hand. I considered trying to pound on the wall to get anyone's attention, but that would have been a bad idea. Even if he seemed oblivious to the fact that I needed to breathe. Both of my hands were on his one wrist, just in an effort to take the strain off.

His other hand came up, gripping the collar of my sweatshirt, yanking it down over my shoulder. Below my collar bone. I knew he was inspecting the scar I would have for the rest of my life. The one he gave me the day of his trial.

He loosened his grip enough to let me breathe, but he kept his focus on that scar. He traced it with his finger, and I did everything I could to cringe away.

"I have to admit." He chuckled. "You're tougher than I thought. I can't believe you lived."

"Y-You can't be here." I finally managed to gasp out. Not only was he not allowed to be in here, but he should have still been in prison. For the rest of his life. He actually grinned.

"Surprise."

"H-How?"

"Come on. You know better than that." His smile faded a little. "At least you used to. I don't know when or why you started to doubt my fucking promises, but that shit ends now."

He took another long look at me. Trapped under his hand, I was just grateful he wasn't squeezing anymore, but the feeling of his hand around my neck was terrifying. All I could do was watch his face. I was stuck. Even as his hand squeezed again briefly, his thumb massaged the skin there firmly.

"Must be that family you're staying with." He went on quieter. "Filling your stupid fucking head with lies." I must have paled, because he laughed. "Yeah, I know all about them. I'm working on that."

Clearly, he didn't know one major detail about them, otherwise he wouldn't have even looked at me twice. I didn't know what he meant by 'working on it', but it hardly mattered when he had an unbreakable hold on my neck.

It was becoming clear that nobody knew he was here yet, given the fact that he'd had a few minutes with me already.

"Although." He sighed, letting go of my shirt. "I guess I should be thanking you." Me?

With no warning, he pulled me forward, drawing a terrified yelp from me, along with a whimper as he pressed a painful kiss to my cheek. I sobbed, unable to help it as I squeezed my eyes shut.

I kicked once, but his other hand came up and knotted in my hair. He stopped that struggle right in its tracks, drawing another painful whimper from me as he pulled me even closer, breathing in the smell of my hair.

"Oh, you're _so_ lucky I need you alive.."

He jerked me back just enough to forcing my head forward and looking right into my eyes. His face an inch from mine. I fearfully met his eyes again, and the determination and intent there told me how lucky I really was. My only hope right then was that he didn't have all the time in the world.

I felt like I was suffocating, and even though I could breathe just fine, I gasped for just one useful breath of air. There was nowhere else to look without seeing him. I couldn't breathe without smelling him. Cigarettes and the cologne he always wore. There was nowhere to turn my head. The whole situation was a very vivid reminder of the darkness of my room.

I should have known better than to let those thoughts in, because they shook me along with any composure I might have had, and I gasped out a sob. I knew exactly what he was doing, and so did he.

He chuckled.

With that, he let me go. Shoving me back against the wall as he stepped back. I still looked up at him, my hand covering my neck where his hand had burned and squeezed. He was definitely here. As badly as I wished I could, I couldn't just pretend like this wasn't happening.

"We'll have time to talk later." He muttered. "I've got a part to play, and so do you. Remember what I fucking said. For now, you're gonna stay in here, and calm the fuck down, but don't take too long. Compose yourself. My god, you're pathetic."

With that, he unlocked the door, opened it just a bit so he could peek out, and swiftly left.

I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't expect something like this, but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how he did it. Then again, I couldn't really focus on that. My scrambled thoughts could only focus on the fact that he was _here_.

"Oh my god." My hushed voice was equally stunned. My legs failed me, and I crouched into a ball behind the door, between the trash can and the wall, covering my face with my hands.

I had to take several minutes. Just breathing deeply, trying to calm down before I'd start crying again. I couldn't stop shaking no matter how hard I tried.

Seeing him again had changed something in me. Seeing him, having him there to threaten me yet again with nobody around to protect me had turned something in my mind. For a moment, I forgot about my bravery, and everything I'd learned throughout the last year.

For a moment, I was right back where he wanted me to be. Tonight had just proven that I'd been right all along.

Weirdly, in a way, it felt like all of that was for nothing. I knew full well that that wasn't the case, but I felt that way. With just his bare hands and his words, Jack had stolen whatever I'd managed to make of myself since I last saw him.

Seeing him again, so close to me so suddenly, with no preparation time or forewarning had reopened the scarring wounds in my heart, and they suddenly bled again. Painfully. I couldn't blink without seeing him there. My head hurt where he'd gripped my hair, and my neck still ached in the shape of his hand.

Eventually, a knock came to the door and it was pushed open a little.

"Leandra?" It was Zack. "Are you okay?"

"No." I whimpered in response, unable to keep the emotion from my voice. I choked back a sob, taking a breath and shakily speaking. "I'm.. Not feeling very good." Goddammit. Jack was making me lie. Again. I cursed quietly to myself, sniffing roughly.

I still didn't get it. Was he _really_ talking about Mark and the boys? Why else would he tell me not to say anything? But wait. That would mean he was Heather's brother. That would make Zack and Josh his nephews. My head spun.

That was why she looked familiar. That had to be it. It didn't comfort me to remember all the knowing looks she'd given me, but she really didn't seem like him at all. They were completely opposite.

How was he even here?

And if he was their uncle, how did nobody else know? How did they not know where he'd been for the last year?

Then I thought about it.

I'd never actually told anyone about me or my past until recently, and I damn sure never mentioned his name. I still had no idea what Jack had meant, though. Don't say a word to any of them. Like he knew that they had no idea he used to be my stepdad.

"Want me to call your dad?" Zack asked in response. I was _so_ tempted, but immediately replied.

"No." I barked. "No. Don't call him. I'll be fine. I'll just.. I-I'll be out soon."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I replied. "Get out."

As much as I needed Carlisle right then, I really didn't want to disturb him. If he wasn't already disturbed. Jack had every opportunity to hurt me, and easily had the chance to kill me right then, but he didn't. I was unharmed, and still alive, so maybe he would wait until nobody was expecting me back to do it. I would be fine on the ride home. I just had to hold on.

With that thought, I managed to calm down enough to function. Sort of.

"Zack?" I called, knowing he was still there.

"Yeah?"

"W-What's your uncle's name?" I was so afraid of his answer.

"Jack." He answered too quickly for my nerves to handle. I crumbled again. I'd been right. "He's right out here, if you wanna meet him-"

"No." I squeaked, shaking my head. I had to lie. "N-Not yet."

"Okay." Zack replied. "Well, we're outside when you get done." With that, he let the door close.

How was something like this even possible? How had I not figured it out? Surely anyone related to Jack had to be a psychopath too. Related to Jack.

It was so hard to imagine.

I could now pinpoint Heather's familiar face. I just hadn't known exactly who she reminded me of. Her eyes were the same color as Jack's. They were different, though. The color just wasn't the same when it wasn't glaring at me. Same color hair.

I was so confused, though. Nobody else knew. It was obvious now. Did that mean he'd kept me a secret from them the whole time?

My eyes were still red from crying, my cheeks flushed with fear, when I stepped out. I shook as I walked, but I managed to make my way outside. Keeping my eyes on the ground, I thought maybe if I couldn't see him, I'd be okay. And it worked for a second.

"There she is." Mark chuckled. "You feeling any better, sweetie?"

"Not really." I replied quietly, shaking my head. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Mark waved it off. "Kids get sick. Especially car sick. That's what they do."

He stepped forward, placing his hand on my shoulders, turning me around and steering me forward until I spotted Jack's shoes. He was a couple of feet in front of me. Watching me. I felt his eyes on me, and as much as I wanted to turn and run, I knew that wouldn't end well for anybody. I had to stand there, and I had to act like I didn't know him. I had to act like he wasn't the one that tortured me for six years.

His most recent threats ringing loudly through my head as I forced myself to stand there. I fought as hard as I could, but I couldn't help the small step backwards into Mark. He didn't even seem to notice.

"Well, here she is. Jack, this is Leandra. The boys' friend from school." I glanced up just high enough to see that Jack had his hand held out. "Leandra, this is my brother-in-law, Jack."

A faded memory came forward at Jack's quiet chuckle. My cries still echoed in the back of my mind, my pleas for his mercy. The tears I cried back then still burned me, his voice still hurt me. The wounds were still fresh, and I knew in that instant that I wasn't nearly as healed as I thought I was. I needed my family. I needed them so very much, but I wasn't going to insist they be called.

Jack remembered everything as well. He remembered, probably clearer than I did, what I did to him, but no matter how much I knew he wanted to, he couldn't greet me the way he wanted to. He was torturing me, alright. Just not physically this time. Not physically yet.

"Nice to meet you, sweetheart." Jack's voice was even worse when he was being nice. I closed my eyes, biting my tongue as I placed my hand in his, and he squeezed. My breath caught as he squeezed too hard, and I whimpered loudly and he released my hand a second later.

"Oops." He laughed. "Guess I don't know my own strength."

"Easy, Jack." Mark chuckled as I cradled my hand to myself. "She's fragile."

"I'm sorry, Leandra." Jack murmured. "I hope I didn't hurt you." His voice was sincere enough that anyone listening in wouldn't hear the condescending tone. The happiness he had at hearing my painful noise.

"No I'm not." I muttered, refusing to look up again.

"No she's not." Josh spoke up, coming to my side. "She's definitely not fragile, dad."

"If you say so." Mark chuckled, patting my shoulder. "Now, we're all here but we have to get going. Come on. Get in."

Oh god. I hadn't thought that far ahead yet. Three and a half hours stuck in the car with Jack. At least he'd be in the front.

I climbed into the back seat first, settling behind the drivers seat. I felt better knowing I'd be sitting right behind Mark.

"Uncle Jack." Zack spoke. "Can I sit up front?" What? Oh goddammit. "Josh got to on the way up here."

"Sure, kid." He replied, chuckling. "I don't care."

I had to be stuck in a nightmare. Please let me wake up soon. Please. Please don't let this be happening. I knew he'd elect to sit in the middle. Between Josh and I, and I was right.

I squished myself up against the door as much as I could as he settled directly to my right, Josh climbing in afterwards. I counted each breath I took, knowing at any second, it could be the last one I ever got.

I swore at any second I'd have a heart attack with as quickly as my heart was beating. I closed my tear-filled eyes, laying my head against the window as Mark started the car. We hadn't even started moving yet, and I was already losing it.

God, why hadn't I stayed with Andrew?

Josh and Jack talked beside me, and for a brief moment, I actually did think I was going to throw up. Just by feeling him so close to me. I didn't know how long I could last like this, honestly. I was pressed as closely to the door as I could possibly be, but it was still too close.

It felt like I held my breath the entire first few miles.

I trembled roughly, until very subtly, Jack's left hand landed about midway on my right thigh. I froze, and I even swore my heart stopped at the pressure.

As soon as I felt that, I was right back to the fearful little runt I was before. It was inevitable. Just like at the diner that day, but since then, he'd tried to kill me and almost succeeded.

I whimpered quietly, hardly a sound leaving me. In the dark back seat, nobody even noticed.

He just kept it there, and with nobody paying attention, there was no reason for him to move it. It kept me still, petrified in my seat. Once I started to tremble again, he'd squeeze painfully until I managed to sit still again. He gave enough pressure in his one hand, I knew I'd bruise. I cried silently, my hand attempting to pry his loose as subtly as I could.

I chanced a glance up, meeting his eyes. He gave me a smile and I instantly looked back down. Harder he squeezed, until I had to squeak in pain. He moved his hand finally, laughing a little.

"You're awful quiet, Leandra." Jack pointed out. "Don't have much to say?"

"She's always quiet around people she doesn't know." Zack answered. "She'll talk more once she gets used to you."

"I hope we have that opportunity." Jack told me, and I clenched my teeth, laying my head back. I looked out the window, and I knew I had a lot of thinking to do. First thing, I had to let Carlisle know. I needed him to know, but I didn't want to bother him. I was supposed to be safe at Andrew's house.

I had to wonder again if Alice had seen anything. I was going to be in so much trouble.

"So." Jack said. "Tell me about her, guys. Is she nice to you?"

I clenched my teeth, hoping Josh didn't tell him about my punching him earlier.

"She's really cool." Josh replied. "Don't worry. She's pretty much the coolest kid I know. She's staying at Andrew's house tonight, though. She doesn't live in town."

"She doesn't?" Jack asked, feigning interest.

"No." Josh replied. "She lives outside of town. With the Cullens."

"They just adopted her." Zack pointed out, and I wanted to tell him to shut up, but I didn't. I just lightly thumped my head against the window, peering out into the fading daylight. It was almost gone now. Bathing everything in a black, eerie glow, the clouds just adding to the effect of despair. All that was missing was the lightning to add to my own horror movie.

"Really now?" Jack asked, and I knew by his tone, he was suddenly very interested in that. He must not have known that detail. He'd always been very possessive of me, and the fact that someone else was responsible for me now only pissed him off. "Is that right?" He looked right at me.

"Yes, sir." I replied quietly. "I'm theirs now."

"Well, isn't that nice?" He muttered, and I knew he wasn't happy. Part of me, the more recent part of me, delighted in his irritation. He'd just missed his chance to keep me under his thumb.

I didn't reply, though. That would have been stupid.

He gave me another smile, but behind that smile was an emotion that told me that this discussion wasn't over. I looked down first, and he looked away. Striking up a new conversation with Josh.

I had a lot of time to think. Once the initial panic calmed down, I was able to think.

I was never going to get anywhere by being afraid. This was a fight I couldn't refuse to fight. This was something personal to me. Zack and Josh were my friends. They were his nephews. They were in the middle of a tug-of-war right now, and they didn't even know it.

He didn't want me to say anything? That meant he couldn't do a damn thing to me. Despite that, though, I knew he would win. He always won.

My heart pounded harder still at the thought that I'd been right. I knew he'd never stay gone. I wondered if I'd have a hard time proving it, but I doubted it. Jack knew right where to find me now.

After what felt like days, we made it back to Josh and Zack's house. I wasted no time in opening my door and practically threw myself out of the car. I took a moment to look around myself on the dark driveway as Jack climbed out behind me. Zack left the front seat, and walked away without a second glance.

Everybody else headed toward the front door, but Jack hesitated. I tried to follow them, but he held me still with a hand balled in my shirt. Standing with me in the dark shadow of the car. It was tall enough that nobody would see anything more than the top of Jack's head if he were to stand straighter.

In the dark driveway, nobody _could_ see anything.

The fact that nobody was here waiting for us told me that Alice hadn't seen what was going on yet. She didn't know, so they didn't know, which was why they weren't here to kill him. Or at very least get me away from him.

They were too preoccupied with whatever else was going on in Seattle. I knew that for sure, and for right then, I really was on my own. That was a terrifying thought, especially as his hand found my neck, and he pulled me closer to him.

"Not a fucking word." He whispered into my hair. For a second, the terror overwhelmed me again. As brave as I tried to be, I was still very afraid of this man.

Was I mistaken before? Had I been wrong in assuming he couldn't do anything to me? This was Jack. Of course I was mistaken. He could do anything he wanted. Anything at all, and never be held responsible for it. Not for very long.

"You are getting older." He pointed out, his voice only a growl under his breath. "Look at you.."

The threat he posed was very real again, and panic choked my breath. There was no way I could be brave enough to fight him. To be that unwavering fearless kid I so wanted to be would take a lot more courage than I had anywhere in me.

There wasn't much I was afraid of anymore, but I was terrified of Jack, and here he was. Inches behind me. His hand closed on the back of my neck. Squeezing, painfully adding pressure until I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Stop." I whimpered, trying to duck away. He covered my mouth again with his other hand, and shoved me back against the side of the car. I closed my eyes, too afraid to look up anymore as I felt him lean down.

"Now you listen to me." He whispered sharply against the side of my face. "Your time to talk is over. You fucking hear me? Time's come to shut that pretty little mouth of yours before I shut it myself."

I squeezed tears from my eyes, forcing myself to keep taking breaths.

"It's been one hell of a fucking year for me, you little bitch." He went on in my silence. "And I plan to take every second of this last year out of your ass, but right now, you're fucking with something you really shouldn't be. This is my goddamn family. You say one word about us knowing each other, I'll kill you far more painfully than you can ever imagine."

I didn't reply.

"So you think you've gotten away?" He asked. "You think just because that family adopted your worthless ass, you don't have to face what you've done? Not only that, but you're dragging that family into hell right along with you. How fucking selfish can you be?"

"I didn't do anything wrong." I cried in my own whisper, but he just laughed.

I had to try. I twisted with a loud whimper. He jerked me closer, stopping that immediately. Again, he gripped my neck tighter, shook me roughly.

"If only you knew." He chuckled against my cheek under his breath. "I've had a lot of time to think about the things I'm going to do to you."

I _hated_ this tone of his voice even more than I hated his yelling. The soft way he spoke was one of the things I had no hope of ever getting over. It wasn't just a dream anymore.

In my position, I did something I probably never should have.

"P-Please.."

I begged. With a tight voice and through closing breath, I whispered a plea I knew he'd waited a year to hear from me. Why wasn't I yelling my head off? Because he was here. Why wasn't I fighting harder? Because it was useless. He was too much stronger than me. I'd only hurt myself more by yelling or fighting.

He'd heard what he wanted to hear, given his quiet chuckle. I'd given him what he wanted. This made him happy, but I felt myself crumbling.

"Uncle Jack?" Josh called from the front door. Startling us both. I felt his grip jump, as he looked back toward Josh's voice. He quickly looked at me again, his lips back against my ear.

Even quieter under his breath, he whispered to me again.

"Run, my little rabbit. While you still can."

Jack loosened his hold slowly, as if he didn't want to let me go, but as soon as it was loose enough, I jerked away and bolted as fast as I could. Yanking away from him, and tearing down the driveway just like he told me to.

 **A/N: I know. Believe me, I know. I didn't want it to be this way. I tried to change it, which was partially why four took so long, but he just refused to stay where I freaking put him. :( He's not easy to work with for me either, you know.  
And I know.. This one got a little long, but I did the best I could to cram as much in here as I could in such a short amount of space.  
Moving on.  
I thought sure Chapter Four would get more reviews than it did. I'm grateful for the one reviewer that did leave their thoughts, though. :) THANK YOU! Everyone else.. All 52 of you.. Come on, what gives? :( Reviews are what let me know I should keep posting chapters. Without them, I assume it's crap. Just throwing that out there.  
ANYWAY.  
Six shouldn't take very long. I know seven is going to give me hell, though, so I'm doing that one carefully.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

I ran along the dark street, the entire way to Andrew's house, and to my surprise, I found him sitting outside. Fighting panic the whole way until I knew for sure I was safe. As bad as I wanted to run home, I couldn't stand being out in the open that long.

"There you are." Andrew spotted me coming up the sidewalk, watching as I ran straight over the lawn right to his side on the front step.

"Inside." I gasped, and his eyes grew concerned. "Please. Can we go inside?" His house was the closest safety I knew of, and he seemed to grasp that I wasn't doing well.

"Yeah." He said, nodding as he stood quickly. "Yeah, come on." He turned, pushing open the door. I pushed passed him and ran up the stairs. Stumbling on one, I almost fell, but caught myself. I yanked myself up like it didn't happen, and continued on.

"Leandra?" Andrew called, bewildered behind me. I entered his room, still panting.

I turned around and around, looking for some sort of answer in his room that I knew I'd never find. Eventually, my panting breaths were choked off by the emotion that suddenly sprang forward as it sank in a little more.

I crouched into a tiny ball in the middle of his room and started to cry. I heard him finish climbing the stairs, followed by another's set. I cried into my knees, my arms folded around my head. My neck still hurt, and I had a feeling I'd bruise there too, but my long hair covered it.

"Leandra." Richard had followed him upstairs. "Honey? What's wrong?"

Despite his concern, though, I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't breathe.

I hurt. Everywhere, I ached. Especially my heart, and my adrenaline-numbed limbs. I turned over, sitting with my back against the wall, facing the bedroom door, in a pure terrified attempt to get a breath.

But suddenly, I actually couldn't take a breath.

I had to breathe, but I couldn't. Which was only making this worse. My entire focus now on the fact that my throat had closed. Completely closed off, and I could feel the effort of my breath trying to escape, but it couldn't. Literally stuck in my chest. Exactly like Jack had his hand closed around my neck, but nothing was there. This was all my own doing.

That was absolutely terrifying. I leaned back just enough, bracing my hands on the floor to sit up straighter, but that didn't work either.

My throat had closed in panic before, but this was different. I could feel it. I wasn't getting absolutely any air, and getting more scared by the second. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get any. It was stuck, locked in. I couldn't let out a breath or get one in.

What was this? What the hell was happening to me? I knew it was all my own doing, but I didn't want this. I was beginning to get desperate. I struggled, fought with myself, but that wasn't working either.

Richard quickly kneeled in front of me, and my hands automatically reached for him.

He seemed to understand. I didn't care how he knew. He was here, and I was growing more desperate with each passing second.

"Breathe, Leandra." He was so calm, but I was far from it. I struggled, fought to do as he told me, but I truly couldn't.

My chest heaved, aching deeply with each forced attempt at a breath, but it wasn't happening. My entire body shook, trembling violently just sitting there, gripping his arms as tightly as my hands could hold.

He turned, looking at Andrew.

"Go get the phone." His voice was a command that left no room for him to question. Andrew immediately darted from the room.

He looked to me again and spoke.

"You're having a panic attack." He explained, meeting my terrified gaze. "I know you're afraid, but this will pass. Focus on my voice, Leandra. Just on my voice. Nothing else."

Panic attack? I'd never had one that felt like this before. All the ones I'd had, I could at least let my breath out.

"I can't breathe." It took me several tries to choke that out, my voice strangled in my chest and throat. I couldn't speak again, but what I did manage to say ended in deep, crushing bawls. That solved the issue of getting a breath out, but I still couldn't get one back in. Locked back up too tight.

"I know." He replied quickly. "I can see that. Breathe, Leandra. Please." I really couldn't. I fought with myself. A war I was losing.

Andrew ran back in, holding the phone out to his dad.

"Focus." Richard told me, taking the phone. "Stop fighting it. Slow down." Slow down. That was a good place to start. Richard looked back at Andrew again. "Go wait in the hall."

"Why?" He asked, despite Richard's tone. "Dad-"

"Let me talk to her." He insisted. "She'll be okay. Go."

I squeezed my eyes shut as he did as Richard told him, giving me one more worried look as he did so. As soon as the door was closed, he gently gripped my ankle and lowered my leg. I took the hint, lowering my other one, uncurling fully, but I hated it.

"Breathe." He told me, his tone both firm and quiet, and before he'd even finished saying that single word, my throat opened to let me gasp a breath in. That breath was immediately sobbed back out, but I could take another in. Instead of staying uncurled, though, I brought my hands back and knotted them in my hair, drawing back up into a tight, trembling ball.

What the hell was wrong with me?

I kept a tight hold on my hair, sobbing against my drawn up knees. I didn't understand. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on with me. I'd never, ever felt like this before. I was scared, and this reaction only scared me more.

"What happened?" Richard asked once I'd calmed down enough to cry.

"I can't tell you." I choked out, sobbing until my head pounded. I wasn't sure if I should tell him, in case it got back to Josh or Zack, which I had a feeling it would.

I looked up, looking into Richard's eyes. I couldn't look very long. I didn't like the concern I saw there. I already felt like I was falling apart. I didn't need his expression to confirm it.

"Tell me, honey. It's okay." I shook my head again.

"I can't." I whimpered.

"I've never seen you this scared, Leandra." He told me. "I'm very worried." The doorbell downstairs made me jump, whimpering loudly.

The bedroom door opened, and Andrew looked in.

"Please go answer that." Richard directed him. I could tell he just didn't want to leave me yet. I couldn't blame him. Andrew nodded and turned. Leaving the door open.

"Honey.." Richard tried again to get me out of my tense ball, taking my wrist gently in his fingers. "Talk to me."

I wasn't listening to him, though. Instead, I listened to the door open downstairs, and Josh's voice filtered up the stairs to me.

"She left her jacket." Josh was saying.

"She ran away so fast, I couldn't remind her to take it." Jack's voice told me he was here too.

I flinched harshly away from Richard and crossed the room as quickly as I could. He turned, watching me with a deeply concerned gaze. I tucked myself into the corner beside the desk, just underneath the window.

His eyes studied me, watching me closely as I whimpered and pulled my knees tighter to my chest.

"Leandra?" Richard murmured. He must not have been paying attention.

"So what'd you do?" I heard Andrew ask downstairs. His voice wasn't particularly loud, but it filtered upstairs just enough that I could hear it.

"What?" Josh asked, surprised.

"She came in, freaking out." Andrew replied. "I swear, I've never seen her that scared before. What did you do to her?"

"She's been freaking out since Seattle." Zack was here too. "Is she okay?"

"No." Andrew answered. "She's not."

"Girls freak out for no reason all the time." Jack replied. "I wouldn't worry too much about it. She'll be fine soon."

"Just sit tight, okay?" Richard murmured to me, gently smoothing my hair before he stood up and left the room. I forced myself to keep breathing, but I kept my unblinking eyes on the open door. Trembling violently, waiting for Jack to appear in that doorway.

Moments later, Andrew and Josh came up the stairs, stepping into the room.

The more I tried to relax out of my ball, the tighter I held. I didn't feel safe anymore. I knew I was a source of fascination, but the more people came to see me, the more unsafe I felt. I needed to get ahold of myself, but I couldn't. Not with Jack himself just down the stairs.

"See?" Andrew asked, gesturing to me. "That's not over nothing."

I wanted so bad to explain. I wanted so badly to tell Josh that his uncle was nothing but pure evil, but I couldn't. I literally couldn't force myself to say it. Jack told me not to say anything, and I wouldn't.

I couldn't stop thinking about that day. The day I last saw Jack.

"Leandra." Josh strode forward and kneeled beside me. "What is it?"

"Andrew. Come here, son." Richard called up the stairs, and he sighed, turning. Jogging back down the stairs.

"Come on." Josh murmured, obviously very worried. "What's wrong?" He waited. "I'm not hurt. It's okay." He probably thought this was over what I did earlier in the day.

About a minute after leaving the room, Andrew groaned from the stairs.

"Aw, dad." He said. "Why?"

"Don't argue with me." Richard's stern voice said. "I'll be up in a minute. Just wait for me up there." Andrew came back into the room, and I couldn't help feeling guilty. His bad mood was my fault, and that thought restarted my tears.

Andrew brought the phone now in his hand up to his ear.

"Josh." Mark called from downstairs. "Come on, kiddo."

"Feel better, Leandra." I covered my ears at Jack's parting words. The more he was able to talk to me, the harder I trembled. Josh sighed, patting my hand lightly as he stood.

"Bye." Andrew called after him.

"Bye." Josh returned, leaving the room.

I was overwhelmed, and I needed just a little bit of time to calm down. There was a limit to how much I could handle, and I was at that limit. I closed my eyes, clenching my teeth through a handful of sobs.

There was only one person I would tolerate right then, but he was busy.

Richard switched places with Josh at the top of the stairs, and came back into the room as Josh started down the stairs.

"There's no answer, dad." Andrew sighed and I glanced over. I wasn't sure who he was trying to call, but that didn't matter for very long.

"Keep trying." Richard instructed calmly. He kneeled in front of me, and I met his eyes fearfully. The concern was gone, to my surprise. Replaced by what could only be described as understanding and slight pity. "Leandra, I know. He won't get to you here. I promise you."

"What are you talking about?" Andrew asked, sitting on the side of the bed. The phone still at his ear.

"You know?" I asked in a quiet whisper. How did he know?

"I know." Richard repeated, nodding. "He won't get through that door. Not with me here. Okay?"

"Who?" Andrew demanded. "Dad, who are you talking about? Who won't get through-" He cut off, suddenly getting an answer on the phone. "Um.. Hi, Mr. Cullen." Richard immediately pulled back, reaching for the phone.

"Andrew, sit by her, and don't leave her side for a second." Richard instructed, standing. "Don't try to pull her out. Let her stay like that. She's protecting herself."

To enforce that, I gently curled tighter. Quickly doing as he said, Andrew landed beside me and we watched Richard as he stood near the door, placing the phone to his ear.

"There's a bit of a situation here. It's.." He sighed. "It's Jack."

"What about him?" Andrew asked, clearly getting frustrated. I glanced over, meeting his eyes. I felt so bad for leaving him in the dark.

"Jack.. Is my stepdad."

It took him a few seconds of thinking before he really understood.

"Oh." He muttered flatly. "Oh, no.. Wait.. _How_?"

"I didn't know." I cried quietly. "I didn't even know.." That answered all of his questions. I could see it.

"Yes." Richard answered into the phone. "She has. She was stuck in the car with him all the way back from Seattle-" He hardly got to finish saying that word before he cut off. "We'll be here."

I knew he was coming. As bad as I felt about that, I was relieved.

Richard hung up, and turned, coming back over. He stood by me. He didn't try to pull me from my frightened ball. He let me stay there which really helped.

"They don't even know." I explained further when I could. "Zack or Josh. Or Mark. None of them." Richard looked down at me.

"They don't know?" Andrew asked, now surprised.

"No." I replied. "And you can't tell them, either."

"Why not?" He asked, frowning. I couldn't explain it. I had many reasons, and one of those reasons was because I didn't want to hurt them. Finding out the truth would hurt them. Andrew wanted to press. "Leandra?"

"I can't." I shook my head again.

It only took a few minutes for the door bell to ring again, and Richard left the room.

"That was fast." Andrew commented, but I was happy about that.

I felt so stupid, so bad for ruining Carlisle's hunting trip, but the moment I saw him, I uncurled and ran to him. I couldn't help it. Carlisle had been there too the last time I saw Jack, so I knew for sure he knew what I was going through right then.

"We haven't been able to get her out of that corner since she got into it." Andrew murmured, surprised. After a brief, comforting hug, Carlisle looked me over.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I nodded, sobbing softly. Shaking from head to toe, it hadn't stopped, but I was okay. Carlisle sighed, lifting me. I knew what he was looking at. I knew Jack's hand had to have left some kind of mark around my neck, so instead of letting Carlisle continue to look, I hugged him.

"How is he out so soon?" Carlisle asked, looking to Richard. "I was expecting over sixty years. Not one." He was angry, but given the way he smoothed my back, I knew it wasn't at me.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Richard sighed. "But you better believe I'm looking into each and every one of those records first thing tomorrow."

"How did this happen?" Carlisle asked, still quite irritated. "What was she doing in Seattle to begin with?"

"Um.." I mumbled. "T-That wasn't his fault. It was mine."

"Mark invited us to go with him to pick up Heather's brother." Andrew explained. "I couldn't go, because I had homework, but she wanted to go. I thought it'd be okay, since she'd just be bored here."

"And Jack is Heather's brother." I whimpered. "I-I didn't know that until I saw him." I knew I should have kept going with my explanation, but I really couldn't. I knew the tears down my cheeks told him not to keep scolding. I couldn't handle it right then.

"So.. Wait.." Andrew stepped over. "Dad, you know what happened? You know who Jack is to her?" Richard was quiet for a moment, before he sighed.

"I know." Richard confirmed. "I was working that day. I was one of the ones sent to arrest Jack at the school."

I looked back at him. That had been such a crazy, disorienting day, which probably explained why I never remembered him being there.

"I don't remember." I admitted sadly.

"I'm not surprised." He replied. "I don't blame you, sweetheart. I've been keeping an eye on you. In a way. For my own benefit." He said. "To make sure you're okay, and to be honest, you're really adjusting remarkably well. Especially after a life like that."

"That's why you weren't worried when she had that nightmare." Andrew murmured, finally understanding, and he nodded sadly. "How come you never said anything?"

"That was such a horrible day all around, and I didn't feel that she needed to be reminded of it." I appreciated that, but it happened anyway. I looked back down.

Now that I knew for sure I was safe, I could focus again. Jack was back, but that meant more than just the obvious.

"I can't see them anymore, huh?" I asked quietly. "Josh and Zack." With Jack's return, I automatically lost two of my three only friends. Even without them knowing about Jack's threats.

"We'll talk about that later." Carlisle sighed, but I already knew. That's exactly what was going to happen.

My voice was muted, but still shaky. "That's not fair."

"Leandra. After all he's done," Richard murmured. "It's not good for you to see him again. Do you know what I mean? It'll more than likely only set you back."

"But they're my friends." I reasoned. "Josh and Zack are my friends. If Jack has his way, I'll never see them again. I don't want to have to stop seeing them just because he's moving back."

"He's moving back here?" Richard asked, surprised. "To Forks?"

"Forks or Sappho." I mumbled. "I don't really know. Josh told me."

"I'm still confused." Andrew said, gaining our attention. "Why don't you want them to know about Jack, Leandra?"

I hesitated.

"Few reasons." I shrugged, having calmed down enough to process my answer. "I don't want them to know because he's part of their family. They don't know what kind of person he really is. I don't wanna hurt them like that."

"I can't imagine how they don't know." Richard frowned this time. "He must be better at lying than I thought."

"And.." I went on. "Jack told me not to tell them."

"When?" Richard asked.

"Once we got back." I replied. "Before I ran here. He said I needed to keep my mouth shut.." I trailed off, unsure about continuing.

It was silent for a second.

"So he threatened you?" Richard asked, and I hesitated again, glancing over at him. There was a determination there I wasn't sure I wanted to test. He was looking for reasons to be mad. I didn't want to give him more reasons to be mad.

"But they're my friends." I went back to my earlier argument.

"We'll figure something out, Leandra." Carlisle told me. "But until then, I have no choice but to keep you home." I sobbed a little at that.

"You don't have to do that." I shook my head. "I'll never see them." I looked to Richard. "I can still come over here, right? I can, right?"

"I'm sorry, Leandra." He said apologetically. "I know how upsetting this is for you, but I have to agree with Carlisle. You have to look at it from our perspective, sweetheart. We're trying to protect you."

"Dad, that's not fair." Andrew protested this time. "Jack's not here. He's way over at their house. Come on."

It really wasn't fair.

"We'll talk more about it later, but for now.." Richard sighed, taking my hand. "I'm sorry, honey. The safest place for you is at home. Even if you think he doesn't get to you, think again."

I whimpered, but I looked down. I _hated_ it so much.

Instead of continuing to argue, I jumped down from Carlisle's arms and walked angrily from the room. Andrew immediately followed, not wanting me to go off alone. Carlisle must not have expected me to leave the house, because he wasn't directly behind me, but I did. I threw open the front door and jogged down the front steps.

I just couldn't understand why they were doing this to me. I'd done nothing wrong! Why was I being punished for what Jack did? Why did I have to suffer because he came back? It hurt to have my friends torn away because of him. There he was again, taking everything from me.

Andrew pulled me to a stop before I could leave the yard, and I couldn't help myself. I turned, hugging him as tight as I could, sobbing. He hugged me tight in return.

"We'll still come over to see you." Andrew tried reasoning. "It'll be okay. You'll see."

"You don't get it." I cried, shaking my head. "It's more than just that. I'm losing again because of him. He might not be right here, but he's controlling me again. It's not fair. If he had his way, I'd never see them again. It's what he wants, and those two are helping him do it."

"That's not-"

"I know it's not." I sobbed angrily, sitting on the dark lawn in a huff. "I know they're just trying to keep me safe, but it still feels like they're helping him. It's not fair."

That was all I could say.

I knew then that I wasn't meant to be brave. I wasn't meant to be independent. I was meant to be broke, this little girl, hidden away for my own safety until I died of loneliness.

It was stupid of me to think otherwise. I really should have known better.

I sat there, my sobs continuing. Andrew stayed beside me the entire time, not rushing me in the least bit until I was finally all cried out, pausing for a shaky yawn. He sat with me while I clung to what would probably be my last moments of freedom for quite awhile.

Seeing Jack again had fed the bitterness, the anger in my heart. The hatred toward the world, and everybody in it. I liked who I was with my friends. I had been learning, slowly teaching myself how to stop hating, but now that I'd seen him again, the hate had returned. Triple fold, until I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like it would suffocate me.

What Richard was trying to avoid had already happened. He and Carlisle weren't saving me from becoming the same fearful kid I was before. They were solidifying it. Effectively cutting off my freedom just as much as Jack had.

"Dad." I jumped, looking over at Andrew as he called toward the front door. It wasn't that he was calling for his dad to come outside that made me instantly alert. It was his tone.

I followed Andrew's gaze with mine, spotting the shape of someone coming up the sidewalk from the dark end of the street. I was immediately on my feet until I could see who it was. Andrew stood up as well. I looked back, seeing Carlisle and Richard standing on the porch.

I only relaxed a little when I recognized Heather. She must have just gotten home, because she was still in her work clothes.

"Leandra." She sighed. "I'm glad I caught you."

"Heather." Richard greeted, coming forward. "I don't think I need to guess what's brought you by." I looked back again as Carlisle approached me. I felt better.

"I'm so sorry." Heather started, her eyes on me. "I would love a chance to explain. The boys told me you ran into Jack."

"Not much to explain." I snapped quietly.

"Five minutes." She nearly plead. Why was I getting the feeling that she knew? I didn't reply either way. It wasn't my call.

"Come on in." Richard sighed, waving her forward. I really wasn't sure about hearing anything she had to say, but I was reminded of the situation with my mom. I hated my mom so much for something out of her control. Maybe this was the same? I couldn't imagine anyone knowing Jack willingly. Especially not someone as seemingly nice as she was.

I watched as she headed up the walk, toward the front door. I looked up at Carlisle, and I knew he was going to leave it up to me. With a deep breath, I followed Heather toward the door. I had to admit. The distraction of my curiosity was really welcome.

"I'm sorry." Heather looked to me as soon as the front door was closed. "I should have said something a lot sooner, but I didn't want to impose."

"You know who I am?" I prompted, sitting down shakily. Did the entire town know me without me knowing them? It was getting a little weird.

"Baby, I knew you when you were four months old." She explained with a small sigh. "I knew Chris. I knew Gina. I knew you when you were just this tiny little thing. I held you so many times."

To say I was surprised was an understatement. I looked down in thought. I searched through every memory I had, and for the life of me, I couldn't recall her face, but her name..

" _You're_ Heather." I mumbled, understanding. My mom had mentioned someone named Heather back when I first started living with her. How had I forgotten that until now?

"Yes." She smiled a little.

"My mom remembered you."

She nodded with a sad laugh.

"Chris used to bring you to the park here in town." She sat down as well, across the coffee table from me. "The same park I took my boys to as often as I could. You were too little to play much when I first met you, but you used to love spending time with Zack."

This was so weird to imagine. "Really?"

"Feel free to confirm this with him." She offered gently. "But I wouldn't lie to you, baby. I have no reason to."

"So she knew Zack when she was a baby?" Andrew asked, amused.

"And Josh." She nodded. "She was bossing them around when they were all in diapers." I couldn't help smiling a little.

"It became almost a weekly routine." She said. "Chris would bring you to the park almost every Saturday, and I admit, I loved to see you growing. Just as much as I watched my own boys growing." She paused, looking down as if gathering her thoughts.

"I didn't meet Gina until you were almost two years old. She became the one to bring you to the park, but we did a lot of talking." She hesitated again, and the silence in the room was thick. She finally took a breath. "It was my fault Gina met Jack."

It stood out to me the word she used. Fault. Like she was guilty of a crime.

"I wasn't expecting him to come looking for me." She murmured. "He had just gotten into town, and when I wasn't home that afternoon, he came looking. If I had known, I never would have gone."

I frowned. "It's not your fault."

"I should have been more careful." She smiled sadly. "I saw it going wrong the moment he looked at her." I wasn't sure how I was supposed to be feeling, so I settled on being guarded.

"Okay?" I frowned even more, standing up.

"Honey." She stood up as well. "I knew who you were the second I saw your chart in the hospital. The second I saw your name, but the second I saw that last name, I knew why you were there. I was surprised, though. I always believed Chris had taken you in the divorce. I believed you were with Chris, so I stayed as far away from that situation as I could. Never once has Jack ever mentioned you. Had I had any idea you were with Jack, I _never_ would have rested until you were out of that house."

I hesitated, slowly turning to face her. My arms stayed crossed, but I wasn't glaring.

"You know." I mumbled. It wasn't a question. I didn't even need to say more. I fell silent as she took a breath, seeming lost for words as she sat back down.

"Of course." She finally admitted, her voice a lot more strained. "I know, sweetheart. I do know. How can I not know? He's my brother." She shame in her tone and her face made me sit back down as well. It was the same shame I felt in myself. It was my degree of shame, and it clicked.

"But.." I frowned again, confused. "Why's he with you now? If you know what I'm talking about, why.. Why do you even still talk to him?"

"Very long story short.." She said, trailing off into a short pause. "Where do I even start?" I sat quietly, waiting. Now intensely curious to know more. She glanced up at me, and I knew she was looking at me like I was looking at her.

"I ran away when I was sixteen." She finally admitted. "I wound up in Seattle, where I met Mark. I wasn't looking for him, or any kind of relationship, but he was just there. To say I had some trust issues.." She trailed off, laughing once humorlessly. "I never told him about my.. Very complicated past with my brother. To this day, he still doesn't know."

To anyone else, the fact that Heather hid that one major detail from her husband would sound crazy, but I definitely understood how she could hide Jack's secrets that long. I would probably be hiding everything about me if I didn't have someone who cared enough to keep at it.

"Zack had just been born when Jack found out where I lived." She went on. "He just showed up one day. Imagine my surprise." I could imagine how she felt, and I felt so bad for her. "By that time, I was so ashamed for hiding it from Mark for so long, I couldn't just tell him. So I played my part. I moved us here, away from the city, in hopes Jack wouldn't follow. Of course he eventually did.

"I say it's my fault, because I never said anything." She went on. "Had I done something instead of just running away, maybe everything that's happened since then could have been avoided. I never told Mark, and Jack had always played into that. I'm not surprised he called Mark the second he could. Mark thinks he's doing me a favor, and I don't blame him one bit for it, because it's just that. He doesn't know."

"But what about the boys?" I asked. "Aren't you worried?"

"I was." She nodded. "I was very worried at first, but they adore him, and I have to admit. He's always been good to them. I still don't trust him alone with them, so I don't know how this is going to play out, but he knows how protective I am. Which is probably why he never mentioned you."

I wanted to ask more questions. I wanted to know everything I possibly could.

The only other person I'd ever known to have survived Jack was my mom, and she'd been asleep through most of it. Heather knew, and she could tell me so much, but I also knew there were more pressing questions. I had to pick a good one.

"But then how is he here now?" I asked. "They said he wouldn't ever get out. Can they do that? Just.. Let him go?"

"That's the question." She sighed. "Law is an area I'm very unfamiliar with. I can't tell you exactly how he did it, but I would bet money it had something to do with our father."

I could never imagine what Jack's father was like, but I suddenly wondered. The way she talked about him told me she didn't have a very high opinion of the guy.

"Has he been known to get Jack out of trouble before?" Richard finally spoke up.

"Jack's never been in trouble." She replied. "Not like this, but there's no way our father would let him stay in prison for very long. As hopeful as I was, I'm surprised he stayed in there as long as he did. Our father is definitely the type of man that can offer a price to make something go his way, but they're both resourceful. A lot of money has probably gone into this, but something must have changed."

"Do you know how I can get into contact with your father?" Richard pressed a bit more.

She nodded. "He still lives in San Diego. I'll get his address and phone number to you first thing in the morning."

"I appreciate it."

She looked at me, and again, I couldn't shake the feeling that I could see a lot of my own corner of hell in her eyes. It was weird to look at her now. Throughout my entire life, I'd never imagined what Jack must have been like as a kid. It'd never crossed my mind, but I was looking at someone that had been there, and grown up with him.

She smiled sadly. She reached over and hesitantly picked up my hand.

"I wanted to come here and explain, because I'm right there with you. I'll figure out a way for you to see the boys. It's the least I can do. There is nothing I want more than to have you three be friends, but until Jack figures himself out, that probably shouldn't be done at our house."

"I know." I mumbled. "They already said I have to stay away." I glanced back at Carlisle, before I looked at her again. "But, I.. I-I have so many questions."

"I know you do." She smiled a little easier now. "I'll answer anything you want to know, but another time. I really should get back, but I'll do what I can from where I am."

I nodded, looking down. She was quiet for a few seconds.

"Again." She murmured. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I had absolutely no idea. I cared about Gina, but she made her choices. I couldn't tell her what to do. Not for lack of trying, but had I known she'd drag you into it with her, despite my warnings, I-"

"You'd warned her?" I asked, frowning.

"I tried." She confirmed. "I tried to talk some sense into her. She insisted she was fine. I knew she had no idea what she was getting into, but I've never met anyone as stubborn as she was."

I nodded a little, agreeing. I knew she had to get back, so I did what I could to be satisfied with those answers for now.

"I don't blame you." I finally mumbled. "For anything. And I'm glad you came over here."

"Thank you for allowing me to." She patted my hand gently, releasing it to stand up.

I stood up as well. "Be careful around him." I had to warn her.

"Don't worry about me, baby." She replied, smoothing my cheek a little. "I'm pretty sturdy, and besides. He knows he needs me, and I have enough dirt on him, it would bury him."

"Doesn't mean much." I countered. "He told me not to tell the boys that I even knew him."

"I gathered that." She wasn't happy about that. "Don't you worry. Like I said. I'm protective of my kids, and I still consider you one of mine. He's going to find out tonight that I won't put up with any of his crap. Now that I'm involved again, he's not going to hurt you."

I wished I could believe her, but I believed my family way more.

I sat back down as she left. I felt more exhausted than I'd been in a very long time, but at least I wasn't crying anymore.

"I tried to be brave." I mumbled. "I tried. I just don't get why I have to be punished for what Jack does."

"Please don't see it that way." Carlisle sighed sadly. "Leandra, despite what you may think, you're ten years old."

"I know that." I sighed, looking down.

"You still have the mind of a child." He told me, crouching slowly in front of me. "And that's a very fragile thing. There is only so much you can handle, and despite how you continuously prove us wrong, I'm not going to let you test that. Not with how much you still struggle."

"How bad was it, dad?" Andrew asked, looking to Richard as he drifted to us as well. I was sure now he underestimated the severity of it.

"I know." I mumbled to Carlisle, giving up. "I know that. I just wish I.. Didn't have to let him control my life again. That's what he's doing, you know. He knows you'll keep me away. He knows that, and when he gets his way, I'll never see his nephews again. He'll win _again_."

"What are the odds of that?" Richard asked quietly. I looked up, meeting Carlisle's eyes briefly. Trying to tell him without telling him that I wouldn't fight him on this. He was only trying to protect me, and I knew that, but it still hurt.

"It'll be okay, Leandra." Andrew stepped closer to my side, putting his arm around me.

"I know." I murmured, turning and hugging him. Gentler this time. "Thank you for being here."

"Anytime." He replied. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"I'm sorry I scared you." I told him sheepishly, releasing him.

"I get it." He said. "I just didn't before. I don't know all of what he did, but with how scared you were tonight, I already hate him."

"Don't take it out on Josh and Zack." I said as Carlisle stood and took my hand. "It's not their fault. Just.. Try to stay away from Jack, okay? I don't care what they say. He's good to them, but he's always been bad."

"But.." Andrew frowned a little. "Leandra, they deserve to know-"

"No they don't." I replied firmly. "Nobody deserves that."

He pursed his lips, and I could see he still disagreed.

"Plus.." I went on quieter. "I-I'm afraid. He told me not to tell them, so that means you can't tell them. You don't know what he's like. Please don't tell them."

"I won't." He finally murmured, concerned now.

I looked down. I hated this reminder. I was begging him now the way I begged Edward not to get me into trouble that day during the field trip. I didn't like the comparison, and it just jabbed at my already sore nerves.

"He's not getting anywhere near you, Leandra." Carlisle assured me gently.

"I'm so scared.." I couldn't help admitting that, my eyes closed.

"I'm going to figure this out." Richard assured me next. "No matter what it takes. You go on home, sweetie, and don't worry about anything. If this guy sneezes, I'm going to know about it." That helped a little, and I looked up at him. "I'll fill Charlie in in the morning. I know he'll want to know about this."

He wasn't wrong. I knew Charlie would want to know too. Charlie had been part of it too.

We left that night, and arrived home. Apparently, a couple of the others had cut their hunting trip short along with Carlisle. Esme, Alice and Jasper all stood waiting as I climbed out of the car, and their expressions told me he'd filled them in.

My eyes were still sore from crying, but I was okay now. I was alright now that I was home, and I had Carlisle with me. I felt the safety like a physical thing. Especially as Esme hugged me.

Before Esme could walk me fully inside, Alice's voice had me look up at her in the doorway.

"I'm so sorry, Leandra." I knew then that she felt horrible. She felt guilty? She wasn't going to tell me how stupid I was to go with them at all? "I should have seen it."

"It's my fault." I said, trying to ease her guilt as we made it inside. "Don't be sorry. I shouldn't have gone in the first place. I should have just stayed behind with Andrew. I got myself into that mess. Not you, Alice."

"I am quite upset about that." Carlisle murmured. "However, I think considering tonight's events, I think it'd be best to let that go."

I was grateful for that.

"Leandra, I need to ask again." He went on. "Are you okay? Did he harm you?"

"I'm okay now." I mumbled. "He didn't really hurt me. He wanted to, but he couldn't."

"Did he say anything at all about how he got out?" Jasper asked me. He was far more tense than I'd seen him in a long time, and I knew Jack being free again got to him in a scary way.

"I asked him that too." I replied. "He didn't say. He just said that I shouldn't have doubted him."

"Leandra, we need to talk about your dreams." Alice spoke again.

"I think that should wait." Esme immediately replied before I could.

"What about them?" I asked nervously.

"Leandra, what did he mean by that?" Jasper pressed further. I was getting mixed up. I was already tired, and being asked these things all at once made it hard to focus.

"I-I don't know." I whimpered. "He just said.. He said he didn't know when I stopped believing his promises, but it would stop. He said something else too." I hesitated, and they were listening. "He said he should thank me."

"For what?" Alice asked, surprised.

"I don't know." I replied again. "He didn't tell me that either. He mostly just told me not tell anyone that he knew me. The whole way back, I wasn't allowed to freak out."

"That's exactly when you should have said something." Jasper pointed out.

"Easy for you to say." I countered. "It wasn't _your_ neck in his hands." I looked over as Carlisle approached my side. Once again, I knew what he wanted to see. I raised my chin a little as he looked at my neck, but I continued toward the ceiling. "Or stuck in the back seat right next to him for three fucking hours."

"Leandra." Esme corrected me, and I looked down as I realized which word she was correcting. I shook my head.

"Sorry." I replied. Carlisle sighed, moving my hair away from the back of my neck. Probably to look at more marks. I reached up, lifting my hair away and standing still.

"All I know, is he better pray he doesn't cross my path." Jasper stated easily. "It's hard enough just standing here." I could see that, and it was a little scary, but I completely understood. I just wished I could help him calm down somehow.

"Not one word of this to Emmett or Rose." Esme told all of us. I immediately shook my head. "Not until we can figure out the next step."

Rose or Emmett wouldn't even hesitate. If they knew Jack was anywhere within their reach, they'd happily end him with no thought to the consequences. Something I was learning all about these days. I shuddered.

That thought honestly didn't comfort me. I wasn't after revenge or anything like it. As much as I hated Jack, it didn't make me happy to imagine Emmett getting rid of him. I didn't want that.

"One more thing." I mumbled, and gained everyone's attention again. "He said that he knows where I'm staying.."

"Oh, I _dare_ him to show up here." Jasper immediately replied.

Alice scoffed. "He's not getting passed the driveway."

"I hope you're right." My voice trembled on my left over emotion.

"You're completely safe here." Carlisle assured me, and I accepted his firm side hug. I closed my eyes, and they begged me not to open them again. I was beyond exhausted.

"Honey." Esme noticed. "I think you should try to get some sleep."

"No I shouldn't." I mumbled, looking over at her. "It won't go that well."

"You need sleep." She insisted. She had that tone that left no room for arguing, just like Richard had with Andrew, and she knew how to use it. I knew this wasn't anything I could win by being stubborn anyway.

I sighed, stepping away from Carlisle's side and making my way toward my room. Sleep was the one thing I'd never win against. No matter how much I didn't want to do it, I had absolutely no choice. She was right.

I'd asked Carlisle once what would happen if I just stayed awake and didn't sleep. I didn't like the answer. Eventually, I would sleep. I wouldn't have a choice. I probably wouldn't die, but hallucinations didn't sound that fun to me.

So I would sleep. I'd be awake later, I knew it, but for right then, I would sleep. I chose to take a shower first, though. I needed it to reset. To try to get the smell of him out of my head, and replace it with a comforting smell.

It didn't work, though, which only discouraged me. I had no hope for much anymore, and I felt defeated. I felt sore. A physical ache where the emotion had stolen my strength.

I went to bed, but tossed and turned. I couldn't lay still for longer than a few minutes. My mind was working a hundred miles an hour, despite how tired I was.

I knew for a fact that I was safe here, which did help quite a bit. Knowing I was safe here kept the tears away. It allowed me to think. I felt stupid for acting the way I had at Andrew's house, but I couldn't help it. Not with how unsafe I had felt.

I pulled back the blanket, and sat up. Raising my pajama pant-leg over my thigh, taking in the new bruising that was forming. In the shape of Jack's hand. Mid-thigh, it was just forming. Light pinkish purple, but I knew it would get darker. Good thing I never wore shorts, I thought sarcastically to myself. It hurt, but not enough to really bother me.

That was absolutely nothing compared to what he'd done in the past.

"What I wouldn't give to have Edward's gift. Just for five minutes." I jumped at Carlisle's voice in the doorway, looking over. I sighed, not even bothering to lower the fabric over my leg. He'd already seen it. I looked up, meeting his eyes for several moments as he crossed the room and sat with me. "So much must be going through your mind." He paused, looking down at my leg. "Did he do that?" I nodded silently. He didn't even need to ask.

"On the way back." I explained quietly. "I was shaking pretty bad, and he was right there next to me. He'd told me not to say a word to any one of them about who he was to me, so to get me to stop shaking, he grabbed onto me. It kinda worked for awhile, but I started shaking again. So he squeezed. Hard."

I smoothed the skin over the bruise, trying to wipe off the feeling of his hand on me.

"Leandra, why would you go with them to Seattle?" Carlisle asked, and I knew he was still disappointed. "When you knew exactly how dangerous it is there?"

"I wasn't going to run off." I said quietly. "I wasn't going to wander. Even after I saw him. I knew it'd be really freaking stupid to do it, so I stayed with everybody else." I sighed. "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I-I.. I just knew Andrew needed to work on his book report, so I thought I'd give him time to work on it by going with them." He sighed as well, seeing I had a legitimate reason for my ignorant actions.

"Well, what's done is done, I suppose." He murmured. "We'll discuss this more tomorrow. For now, try to get some rest." I didn't lay down right away.

I only scooted over and hugged him. A tired whimper leaving me.

"I know how much you don't like being confined." He murmured comfortingly. "But until we can figure out what to do, it's our only option."

I didn't bother arguing. I'd figured that would be the result. I sensed my freedom had ended, a figurative leash clicked into place. All because Jack had decided to come back. He hadn't known I'd be there, but he knew where I was.

I knew he had been planning to at least pay me a visit, if only to let me see just a glimpse of him in hopes he could squeeze just a bit more fear from me. He'd always lived for my fear, for hearing me cry. It wasn't any different now. This had been so much better for him. I knew it.

I was tired. I was always so much more emotional when I was tired.

"Can you stay?" I asked quietly, pulling back. "Just for a minute." Just by being there, he kept the insecurity from keeping me awake.

"Of course." He replied, and I nodded, laying down. I didn't want to waste any of the minute I had him here. I yawned as I brought the blanket back over me. Curling onto my side, the blanket curled under my chin. I glanced up at him, making sure he was still there before letting my eyes close.

I'd see Carlisle again tonight. I was sure of that. When he'd have to come in and wake me up from a nightmare I could still see while I was awake. They'd be so much worse now. There was no doubt in my mind about that. With such a fresh reminder of what Jack's chuckle sounded like, and the way his eyes looked into mine. Threatening me without even saying a word.

As I was falling asleep, though, I found a part of me I didn't want to find. A sadder part of my emotions that I had no way of explaining out loud. A tired part that I would never try to tell anyone about. Not with how upset they'd always get when I tried to explain it to them.

This part of me remembered the way Jack treated me. It recognized it, and it hurt me to realize that that part of me finally felt normal. With the familiarity, came a sort of resigned peace. Logically, I knew it was _so_ stupid to feel that way.

My family had shown me that there was more to life than being beaten for fun, and I loved them for it, but my life now didn't change the fact that I'd been raised that way. That feeling was spending more than half my life learning how to survive as a victim. I knew those steps, and I knew that routine.

I knew exactly what it was, but it was such a shameful part of me, I could never tell them. It wouldn't do any good anyway. They'd tell me I was wrong, and leave it at that.

I struggled a lot with that feeling in the beginning, right after Jack was first taken away, and I definitely fought it around Keith. I craved familiar. I fought with it. I thought I'd won, and though I'd never felt quite 'normal', I'd been learning how to be. Until now.

Now that Jack was back, though, so was that feeling.

 **A/N: Okay, so there's something I feel like I need to address. Maybe I should have addressed it sooner. I never had this problem the last time I posted this, but I suppose it depends on the person.  
I grew up in a place much like Leandra's. I've always written to help work out the things I'm going through. It helps to not have to focus on my own issues for a little while. I never had anyone save me like she was saved. My story doesn't end with justice or closure or anyone caring about me or my situation.  
** **In real life, sometimes there is no happy ending and the road forward isn't always paved neatly. Feelings and emotions aren't black and white, but quite a bit of gray. Sometimes people let you down, hurt you, and sometimes people you love go through things you never imagined, but there is beauty at rock bottom. I've been there enough times to know it well. It sucks unbelievably bad while you're there, but you find out things about yourself that you never knew you knew.  
** **I write as a way of getting those things out of there. Of course the story is her own, because I can go over it and change it as I want to. If it's harsh, I'm sorry. If it's hard to read, I'm sorry, but it's what's in my head.  
ANYWAY.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! Even if one wasn't that great. I still appreciate it.  
** **Yeah, this chapter is mainly filler. We get answers next chapter, and start moving forward. It won't take long.  
** **Until Seven, my friends.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I was so surprised when I woke up in the morning, because I didn't remember dreaming at all. Although, thinking about it, it wasn't that much of a surprise when I remembered how tired I was when I went to bed.

I laid there for several minutes, and now that the panic was gone, I could reflect.

What was the next step from here? If there even was one. I suddenly understood Carlisle's point of view a little better. He wanted to keep me away from him, and for good reason.

Heather said she would help. I wondered briefly how that talk with him went. He might be free again, but she wouldn't let him come after me. What could she do, though? She seemed to believe that she had some sort of say. I would probably never know.

I rolled out of bed when the smell of breakfast made it impossible to stay. I was starving, and without the emotion, I needed to eat.

I found Esme in the kitchen, just pulling the bacon out of the pan. She only ever made a few pieces at a time, as going all out was pointless. I couldn't eat that much, so she planned my meals around that. She was pretty good at it.

"Good morning, sweetie." She greeted gently as I sat down in my usual seat at the counter. "How are you feeling?"

"Weird." I answered quietly. I was still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "I think I slept too much."

"You needed it." She pointed out, setting a plate in front of me. I reached for the toast first.

"Have you heard anything from Richard?" I asked, looking up at her. She seemed reluctant to answer.

"He's coming over soon." She said. "Apparently, there's a lot he needs to discuss with us, and he'd rather not do it over the phone."

I nodded a little, taking another bite. I had a suspicion that Jasper had a handle on my emotions, because that didn't really bother me. It was rare he took them over right when I woke up.

I heard the TV on in the living room, but it was news again, so I ignored it. I did look over, though, as Alice walked in. Jasper right behind her.

"Thank you." I told him first, fresh from my realization, and he gave me a nod.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked, looking back at Alice.

"He and Rosalie are still out." She answered, taking the seat next to me. "It happens sometimes." I frowned a little, confused. Geez, how long was that hunting trip?

"So it's okay to talk about it?" I asked, and though she seemed surprised, she nodded. She must have thought I'd rather avoid it. "I think I did some thinking while I was asleep."

"In a good way, I hope." Alice replied, and I glanced over as Jasper leaned against the wall. He was probably interested too. It wasn't often that I talked to them about anything involving Jack. It'd always been Carlisle.

"So.." I started, setting my fork down. "I know it could have just been him trying to confuse me, but.. He said he should thank me. I still don't get it. Did he mean that something I did let him out?"

They didn't want to answer that one, given their expressions when I glanced between them.

"Okay, so.. What could I have done that let him out?" I asked, continuing anyway. "And _how_ do we make him go back? He can go back, right?"

"It's hard to say." Alice finally answered. "I don't know if he was being truthful, but we won't know if it's possible to send him back until we find out what Richard knows."

I nodded again. Normally, several pieces of that statement would have terrified me, but Jasper was doing a really good job.

"There's another thing I can't figure out." I mumbled. "He told me to not tell Josh or Zack about him, which means he probably doesn't want me to see them at all, but Heather said that she'd figure out a way for me to see them. How is she supposed to let me see them without Jack getting mad?"

"Let him get mad." Jasper replied. "We're not going to cater to his demands."

"You kind of.. Already are." I pointed out, and he frowned a little. "Keeping me here just lets him win. That's what he wants, like I said."

I could see he didn't have a reply to that, so I just went on.

"Heather said it was her fault that my mom met Jack." I sighed, looking back down at my plate. "I have so many questions to ask her, but how do I even do that when I hate people asking me questions about Jack?"

"I think it would be good for you to get to know her." Esme smiled a little. "She certainly seems to care a lot about you, sweetie. I can see why."

I smiled a little at her compliment.

"I wish I could remember them from before." I admitted. "Then at least I'd have one good memory from when I was little."

"Maybe she has pictures from back then." Alice suggested, and I looked over. "I'm sure she has one."

I nodded again. That was a good idea. Maybe seeing a picture would make it seem more real.

"I think you need a distraction." Alice suddenly told me. "We can go to Port Angeles if you want. We can do some shopping." That actually brought a smile to my face. The fact that she thought I'd want to was a little funny.

"Nah." I sighed quietly, ripping at a piece of bacon. "Thanks, though."

This feeling was quite different than ones I'd had before, and definitely different from what I usually felt like when Jasper handled my emotions. I just kind of wanted to sit there. Not up for doing much of anything.

"Come on." She smiled softly. "We haven't spent much time together lately. I miss my sister." Again, she got a smile from me.

"Okay." I mumbled. "But I'm going to make it hard on you." She seemed surprised. "We can go to Port Angeles today, but you're not allowed to buy anything."

She gasped. "Now that's just cruel." I laughed a little, shaking my head. She gave me a smile, so I knew she wasn't actually offended.

She sighed and stood up, standing behind me and pulling my hair from my shoulders and running her fingers through it.

"You could use a trim." She commented. "Your hair is getting so long." I didn't mind her playing with my hair. I was often the target for her hair fixing, but it comforted me. I'd often considered just chopping it all off, especially after Jack had a hold of it, but I knew I probably never would.

She gathered it, and pulled it up. She paused for a second, holding my hair on my head. She sighed. Jasper stepped around as well as soon as the air hit the back of my neck, and I sensed the difference.

"He grabbed you here too?" She must not have known how bad it was.

"It's no big deal." I mumbled. "It doesn't hurt. I actually forgot about it." I knew from the feeling of it that it really wasn't that bad, but to them, any lasting marks were grounds for exterminating him.

"Just don't show that to Emmett." Alice murmured softly behind me, letting my hair drop back down over my neck. "He'll go even more nuts."

"Then I should leave my hair down." I agreed. "How's this one?" I turned a little, raising my chin.

"Hardly there." She told me after a quick look. I nodded.

"They'll go away in a couple of days. If it even takes that long."

"Probably." She agreed. "But Leandra.." I looked back, over my shoulder at her. "He laid a hand on you. Not just yesterday, but at all. That means that legally, we get to be the ones feeding it to him."

The completely serious look on her face made me laugh. She gave me a look that told me that she wasn't kidding. I knew she wasn't. I remembered what happened to Keith, but I shook my head.

"No. Don't do that." I said after a moment, looking back down at my plate. I nibbled on some eggs.

"Why not?" Alice asked, sectioning off just the top layer of my hair.

"Because." I replied. "You hurting him isn't gonna make me feel any better. It didn't with Keith either."

"But it will sure make me feel better." She countered. "If Jack thinks he's going to get away with hurting you, he's got another thing coming."

"Alice." Esme tried to shut her up.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but he is going to pay." Alice went on anyway. "I promise you, he will pay very dearly for every bit of pain he's ever caused you." I gave her a look. "We're not always teddy bears, Leandra. Men like him don't need to be allowed to exist. He should have considered the price he'd have to pay for doing the things he's done. He needed to stay in prison, if only for his own safety, but he just couldn't stay gone. Soon enough, he'll never be seen again. Don't you worry one bit."

I cringed a little at the thought.

"Won't you guys get into trouble or something for that?"

"Oh, we won't do a thing." She assured me, smoothing out the braid and starting over. I wasn't sure what she meant by that.

She'd just told me her plans, and now she was saying they wouldn't do anything. She didn't continue, and I didn't quite feel like asking. I needed a change of subject. I didn't like thinking about my family like that. Even if Jack did deserve it.

"Can we go somewhere else besides Port Angeles?" I asked in the silence, looking back at her. "Anywhere but there." I had history there.

"Anywhere that sells clothes." She replied lightly, as if she hadn't just been contemplating murder. "You could use a few new outfits, Leandra. You're growing so fast." I always felt a little proud when they told me things like that. It meant I was moving forward. I didn't feel that way when Jack brought it up, though. My slight smile faded.

"Alice." Esme murmured, to my surprise, in slight correction. Alice had said something that bothered her. I filed that observation away for later when I could ask without changing the subject.

"Okay, but just a couple." I didn't really want new clothes, but she was right. My favorite shirts were fitting a little snugly now.

"We'll go after Richard's visit." She nodded, and I appreciated that. Maybe a day out of here will help me feel better. "For now, let's talk about something else."

"Like what?" I asked, now a little hesitant.

"How about.." She paused. "Andrew." Despite the discomfort of the previous subject, I smiled. She laughed a little behind me, spotting that stupid smile immediately. "What's going on there?"

"What?" I asked, trying to force the smile off my face. "He was normal yesterday. Before Seattle, I mean."

"I doubt that." She said. "Are you blind? I've seen how he looks at you. Remember your adoption party? That wasn't nothing."

"Josh says he likes me." I shrugged a little. "I don't know though."

"I believe him." She said.

"I don't." I laughed a little. "I still don't get it. Andrew says Josh likes me, and Josh says Andrew likes me. Can that just happen? One minute they're normal, and the next, they're acting stupid. I was going to hit them both if they weren't normal yesterday."

"And what is normal?" She was just trying to keep me talking. Distracting me, and it was working.

"I don't know." I replied. "Normal. Not.. Nervous, and mad. For no reason, too. I don't like it. Andrew has never been that way before." She laughed a little. "What? It's true. I've never seen him act like that."

"Well, I think it's the cutest thing in the world." She commented. "Boys are simple creatures." Jasper smirked, and left the room. I didn't blame him one bit. Once again, she pulled out the braid in my hair, and restarting.

"I don't." I said. "Then Josh started acting the same way. In the kitchen, before Zack came to tell him that they had to go. Only weirder."

"Oh, weirder?" Alice asked, interested.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "It was probably the way he looked at me. It just made me feel weird."

"Boys will always like a pretty girl." She told me. "It's just something they do."

"I'm the wrong girl." I shook my head a little. "Because I'm not pretty."

"Yes you are." She said, outraged. "You're very pretty. And if you'd stop hitting people, more people would see it."

" _Why_ would I want more people to think I'm pretty?" I asked, surprised. "It's the opposite of what I want. Maybe I should hit them both. Maybe then they wouldn't like me like that anymore."

"You're not supposed to hit him." She said, laughing a little. "Despite what Emmett says, boys are going to like you, and someday might even want to kiss you." I spun, looking back at her, horrified. "Especially since you tend to hang around them a lot. You're pretty, you're smart, and you're tough. It's something inevitable. Just try not to hit them when it happens."

"Maybe it's a good thing I'm not going to be around them very much anymore." I mumbled. "I don't want anybody kissing me. Especially Andrew. It'd be too weird."

"Oh, you're so young." She sighed, smiling dreamily. "You'll see some day."

"He's my best friend." I reasoned, shaking my head. "I don't think it'll ever be any less weird."

"That's why it's so cute." She laughed, hugging my shoulders. "Just don't worry so much about it right now."

"And why," I asked, turning to face her. "Do people keep telling me 'some day'. When is some day? Some day this, some day that. Some day never comes."

She laughed at my apparent irritation. "Some day when you're older. It means not today or tomorrow, but.. _Some_ day." She paused, and I jumped at the sound of the door bell, looking toward it right as Esme started walking toward it. "Speaking of which, someone is here to see you."

I knew who it was, so I took a breath and nodded. I stood up to follow Esme.

"Hold it." Alice called, catching me before I could get very far. She pulled the new braid from my hair, fanning my now loose hair over my shoulders.

"Good catch." I told her, and she nodded, smiling a little.

I made my way into the living room, finding Andrew and Richard just coming in. Carlisle had been the one to let them in, Esme beside him. I glanced around, but Alice was already gone. Probably lurking nearby with Jasper.

I gave Andrew a small smile, and he seemed comforted by it. But only a little.

"Hey, sweetie." Richard greeted as we moved forward into the living area. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess." I answered. "Alice cheered me up." I smiled before the folder full of papers in Richard's hand caught my attention.

"I'm glad you're doing better." He replied, sighing. "Why don't you and Andrew go hang out in your room? I've got something I need to talk to Carlisle and Esme about."

"About Jack?" I asked hesitantly, and he nodded a little. "Can I stay?" He seemed like he was about to decline, so I went on. "I need to know. Whatever you found out, I just.. Need to know."

He hesitated, looking to Carlisle.

"It's alright." Carlisle allowed after his own hesitation.

"Okay." Richard sighed, sitting down. He placed the folder on the coffee table, opening it. I glanced at it, but immediately looked away at Jack's picture on the first page.

I chose to share the chair Esme had chosen to sit in, sort of squishing myself in there. She didn't mind given the way she started to smooth my hair. Andrew chose to stay standing, though, along with Carlisle. We were all sort of facing Richard who sat across the coffee table from us on the couch. I was silent, waiting for him to start.

"Okay." He sighed again. "It took a little bit of digging, because someone sure tried to bury it, but I know some people. Basically, what happened was Jack's petition to overturn was approved."

I didn't know what that meant, but given Esme's deep sigh, I knew it wasn't good.

"What does that mean?" I asked quietly.

"Ultimately, it means another trial." He explained patiently. He looked to Carlisle before he went on. "They'll be going over the evidence again, along with any new evidence, and depending on what they conclude, they'll decide whether or not it's worth it to try him again, or to just throw out the case."

"How was he able to get them to approve it?" Esme asked before I could.

"That's the rough part." Richard sighed, readjusting the way the folder was laid. He hesitated. He was about to continue when he cut off and I jumped at the sound of the front door opening.

"Hey, why is there a cop here?" Emmett called ahead of himself. "What'd shorty do now? This child is getting out of hand." Though I knew he knew it was only Richard, and though I knew he was joking, I tensed, looking over at Esme. She returned my look, so I knew she knew what I was thinking. Richard closed the folder.

I looked over, watching as he and Rose entered the room. I wasn't the only one that looked over, given the way he paused and looked around.

"Okay.." He muttered. "What did we miss?"

"A lot." Andrew muttered.

"I'm guessing he doesn't know?" Richard asked, looking up at Carlisle.

"No." Carlisle sighed.

"Maybe this should wait?"

"Can I tell him?" I asked, looking over at Esme. Maybe if I were to be the one to tell him, he wouldn't run off right away.

"Someone should." Emmett laughed, but I could tell he was tense.

"Come in and sit down. Both of you." Carlisle instructed, which he did without hesitation. I was grateful for that. That was a better idea. I looked up, watching Emmett as he walked by, heading for the other chair.

"What happened, shorty?" Emmett asked as he sat on the very edge of the chair. Rosalie chose to stay standing.

"Nothing _happened_.." I murmured, looking down. "Well, kinda, but.." Esme smoothed my hair.

"Please." Carlisle spoke again, looking to Richard. "Continue."

"Okay." Richard sighed again, looking back down at the folder. He was quiet for a second while he gathered his thoughts. "As I was saying before.. Because the appeal was already in place, his lawyer was able to swing it just right. Using the reports made against her."

Carlisle sighed as well, shaking his head.

"What reports?" I asked, looking between them.

"You're a very watched little girl, Leandra." Richard replied. "Every problem you've had involving school, and any run in with the police you've had, a report was made. You have quite the record here."

"How does what I do help Jack?" I was finally going to get that answer.

"Hold on." Emmett sat straighter. "Back up."

"It's very complicated, sweetie." Richard answered me sadly. "But there are many ways they could swing it, based on the evidence in Jack's defense. His lawyer is very motivated."

"He's out?" Emmett was obviously upset by that. Just like we knew he would be.

I frowned, though, ignoring Emmett for a second and thinking about it. Back to the trial. Jack's lawyer had been trying to convince everyone I was crazy, and that I was only blaming Jack because I didn't want to get into trouble for fighting. I remembered he had a list of things my old teachers said about me.

I just couldn't imagine why they would say those things. I hardly ever had problems before. Could it have been worse than I was remembering? I didn't really remember much of anything further back than a year or two. At least about school. It was like those memories were missing, but from what I could recall, I was fine. I always kept to myself just like I was taught.

I compared that list of things they said to the last year of my schooling. The entire last few weeks of fourth grade were a struggle for me, and right from the get-go, fifth grade was a mess, but more recently, it had only gotten worse.

Add that on to how many times they'd been called on me for running away, and running away at all, and I could kind of see what Richard was saying.

"I didn't know that would happen." I muttered, stopping a quiet argument between Esme and Emmett. "I didn't even think about that kinda stuff."

"No one blames you." Richard replied before anyone else could. "These are things you couldn't have understood."

"Nobody told me." I was a little defensive now. As much as I could be.

"We weren't aware that your record had been made available to him." Carlisle explained.

I looked down. I'd never even considered this to be one of the consequences of the things I did. Because of my tendency to attack people, they thought that Jack's lawyer had been telling the truth that day.

"Now, here's the strange part. This is the part that really.." Richard trailed off, and his voice had hardened. Anger shifting his tone. "I have no idea what they did with the attempted murder conviction, because it's not there."

"I'm _sorry_?" Esme nearly demanded. I leaned against her, looking up at her. I didn't like it much when she was upset, and that news had obviously upset her.

"It's nowhere in his file." He repeated, turning the folder toward her. I chose to look down instead of looking at the top page in the folder. "I've looked everywhere for it. I couldn't even find any record of it from the day it happened. He's obviously got someone on his side. It won't be hard to get that sucker back on there, especially if you've kept your own records, but the fact that it's gone now tells me they've got a massive corruption issue that needs to be addressed. Now."

"My records should be enough to set things back." Carlisle replied easily. "I have records of everything that happened that day, including surveillance footage of both ends of the corridor. I'll get you a copy."

"That's more than enough." Richard nodded, and Carlisle turned, swiftly leaving the room. I looked down as Rosalie followed him.

"So you're saying that because she's had a few rough days, Jack-ass gets to go free?" Emmett almost demanded. I didn't like him much when he was mad. I knew he'd never hurt me, but when he was really mad, everyone knew it.

"I hate it too." Richard replied. "It's hard for me to understand, too, but these guys don't get the full story. All they see are the things she does. They don't see the why. It's a completely different picture when they don't personally know her."

"Then make them see it." Emmett countered.

"I plan to." Richard nodded easily. "I do plan to."

I didn't like this. It made me feel worse than I thought it would. I looked up, across the room at Andrew. He was looking at me as well, the worry clear in his eyes. I took the hint. I sighed and waved to him, gesturing for him to follow me.

He took my advice, looking down as he crossed the room. I stood up and led him from the room. He followed me into my room, and I closed the door so nobody thought we would be trying to listen in.

"I know Emmett can be scary when he's mad, but he's just worried about me." I explained quietly. "Don't worry about him."

"No." He shook his head. "He's right. It's not that."

"Then what's wrong?" I asked, and he glanced up at me briefly before sighing and turning. Sitting on the bed. He looked down, and I hesitantly followed him. Again, I hated that something about me upset him. It was worse not knowing what it was.

"Come on." I insisted, now sitting cross-legged beside him. "Tell me."

"He told me." He finally mumbled, looking over at me. "My dad told me everything." I looked down. "He told me because.. I just wanted to know what this guy could do, and my dad thinks that me knowing will help me be a better friend."

I understood his mood now. That's why he'd been so quiet.

"How much did he tell you?"

He didn't reply right away. He sat quietly.

"Well, he tried to hide a lot of stuff." He admitted almost shamefully, glancing over at me and I closed my eyes. "But I figure it out when I saw the list of charges."

I _hated_ that Andrew now knew. Not because I was mad at him, but because he now knew what kind of person Jack was, and I had to admit. I was pretty embarrassed now. It meant that he now knew my extremely personal things.

I didn't know what to say, so I started with the only thing I could.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" He asked, surprised.

I shrugged. "For a lot of reasons. Mostly because you know now. I never wanted you to find out."

"Why not?"

"Because with you, I used to get to just be normal." I explained. "Now you won't think of me the same way. Now, you probably don't like me anymore."

He seemed even more surprised. "Why wouldn't I still like you? Just because I know doesn't mean I think of you any different than I did before. It doesn't _change_ you. You're still the same person. I just get you a little better now."

Jasper must have been letting me have my emotions again, because I stupidly started to cry. Slow, quiet tears, but they were definitely there.

"Hey, don't cry." He noticed. "Come on."

"I'm just so tired of it." I whimpered. "I'm tired of feeling like this."

"Then change it." Andrew replied, and I looked over at him.

"I can't." I replied. "I've tried. I just get mad. Your dad even said it was my fault Jack was let out."

"So try again." He insisted. "I'll help you, and it's not your fault. You only fought those kids because of what he put you through, and they can prove that. Do you even know how brave you are?"

"No I'm not." I sighed. "Not against Jack. How could I ever be?"

"I'm not talking about the fighting kind of brave." He countered. "I'm talking about the standing up kind. The strong kind. You bounce back, remember? There's something really amazing in you, and nobody like Jack can ever take that away from you. Not unless you let him, but you have so many reasons not to. You have your family. You have me. You even have my dad, and Heather. Charlie, and most of the police department. We're all on your side now. That has to count for something."

I sat silent for several seconds, letting that sink in.

"Don't give up." He murmured. "You can be scared. You're allowed to feel everything you feel, but bounce back. Get back up."

After enough thinking about it, I knew he was right. I swallowed my nervousness, and I didn't fight the smile that crossed my face. It was a small one, but it was a start. I couldn't help it. I looked over at him, now admiring him in a different way. It was like seeing the sun for the first time in a long time, and after living in the pitch darkness for so long, it was a really welcome feeling.

He smiled in return, and I knew he saw that he'd reached me.

"You got away." He pointed out. "You made it. Nothing he says can ever change that. Don't let him pull you back in, and _definitely_ don't let him make you think you're crazy. Get back up, and put him back in jail."

"But what can I do?"

"Trusting is a good place to start."

"Trust?"

"Not just a little bit." He clarified. "All of it. You did it before. Trust yourself that you can- No.. You will do it again. I'll make sure of it. We all will. I'm not afraid of him."

Without hesitating, I reached over and hugged him. Oddly, I still wanted to cry. Not in sadness, but because I was so grateful to have someone like him fighting with me.

"I think I might." I laughed a little, swiping away a stray tear as I sat back.

"Might what?" He asked, still smiling.

"Marry you when we grow up."

He laughed, but put his arm around me. The weight of his arm made me feel better.

"If you're ever scared or sad, just talk to me." He offered. "I'll remind you why you don't need to be." I nodded a little. He held his free fist up to me, and I put mine against his. The contact was simple, but it meant a lot to me.

"There's just one thing I can't figure out." He added quietly. His smile fading. I looked over, waiting for him to continue as we let our hands fall. "How could he do those things to someone like you?"

"I stopped asking myself that a long time ago."

"If I knew you back then, I would have helped you."

"You wouldn't have known." I mumbled, shaking my head. "Nobody knew. Nobody else could have seen me but Carlisle."

"Why?"

"I was just that good at hiding it." I said. "I had to be. Carlisle saw things normal people can't."

"I would have seen you." Andrew replied. "How could I not?" I smiled a little, looking down as it faded.

"I can't give you any answers, Andrew." I murmured. "Jack does what he wants to do, and he gets away with it. End of story. That's how it works with him."

"If I know my dad, that's not end of story." He pointed out. "I don't even think he slept last night."

"Andrew." Richard called from the hallway. They must have been done talking. I smiled a little over at him, standing up first.

I led the way out of my room, but he followed close behind.

"Time to go, son." Richard waved him forward as I found Emmett's side. "I have a few calls to make."

"Did Heather give you their dad's name and stuff?" I asked curiously.

"She did, but surprise, he wasn't very helpful." He replied lightly. "It's alright, though. I don't really need him to be. I just need to know where he is."

"So what do we do now?"

"For now, you just hang in there." He assured me. "I'm on my way to Seattle today to right a few wrongs. They have a lot to answer for." He raised another, separate folder than the one he'd had before. That must have been the stuff Carlisle had given him.

"You won't get into trouble for doing that, will you?" I asked nervously.

"No." He said. "I'll be alright, sweetie. Don't you worry."

"How long will it take? To get him back there?"

"I'll do my best."

"Can I come with you to Seattle?" Andrew asked his dad, and I looked over at him.

"I don't see why not." Richard replied. "Unless you'd rather stay? It'll be pretty boring. All I'm doing is gathering information and filing my own reports."

"No." Andrew replied. "I wanna help however I can." Richard smiled a little, nodding. He took another breath.

"Okay." Richard nodded. "I'm off, but in the meantime, everyone needs to _promise_ to let me handle it." He looked right at Emmett, pointing. "Behave yourselves, and everything will work out. I don't want to have to bring anyone in that's not supposed to be in."

It was kind of funny to see Richard scolding Emmett. I looked up as Emmett brought his hands up and covered my ears, but it didn't help. I could still hear.

"Any chance you can just.. Look away for five seconds?" Emmett asked anyway. "Jack-ass _really_ needs to die." Andrew laughed to himself.

I shook my head out from between his hands, giving him a look.

"He's free because someone looked away." Richard pointed out. "I completely agree with you, but I've gotta do my job."

"Hey, he didn't play by the rules." Andrew countered. "Why should we have to?"

"I like him." Emmett pointed at him. "I agree with him."

"You're not helping things." Richard laughed through his teeth, ruffling Andrew's hair. He laughed as well, ducking away. Richard gave Emmett a look before they left, and I noticed.

"What was that about?" I chose to curl upright on the couch as Esme was walking them out.

"I might have let slip that I was looking forward to having a little chat with Jack-ass." Emmett answered, sitting next to me. "He doesn't think I'll leave him alive. He's right, but still."

I sighed, leaning against his side.

"Don't." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down. "Don't do anything."

I wasn't surprised when I looked up and saw Jasper descending the stairs as soon as the front door was closed. Alice right behind him, their hands connected.

"You're kidding, right?" Emmett asked me.

"No." I replied quietly. "I don't want you to get into trouble because of me, and I don't want.. I don't want to see you any different."

I didn't want to imagine that Emmett was capable of doing something like that. It bothered me enough knowing Alice was capable of it, but Emmett had always been the big squishy one. I needed that more than I needed him to be a murderer.

"Aw, shorty." He sighed, sounding a little bit like I'd just crushed all his fun like an empty soda can. I closed my eyes, resting them. I couldn't believe I was tired again.

"If you have to do it, don't tell me about it." I mumbled, my eyes still closed.

"I probably won't even have a chance." He replied easily. He placed his arm around me, hugging me into his side, ball and all.

"It'll be better to just assume he went back to prison." Alice assured me quietly. I nodded. She had a point. She looked at me, her tone lightening quite a bit. "Ready to go?"

It took me a second to remember that morning's discussion. Shopping. I hid my face in Emmett's arm.

"I don't wanna go anywhere now." I mumbled. "Remember? I gotta stay out of trouble. I can only do that by staying here."

"I can always just go by myself, and pick out things I know will look cute on you-"

I jumped up, and Emmett chuckled. I grumbled the entire way to my room to get dressed. Maybe I could just get this over with. If I was being honest with myself, though, a few hours out with Alice still didn't sound that bad. I didn't care what we were doing.

I came back out, surprised to find that Jasper was coming along with us.

"Just in case." Alice smiled a little, but I didn't mind.

To my surprise, I was even given the front seat. Jasper chose to sit in the back seat. That was my first indication that this probably wasn't just a simple shopping trip, and Jasper might be needed more than she let on.

Alice was given specific instructions, several times, to not let me out of her sight the entire time. I doubted she would anyway. Until Jack was sorted out, it would be better to be cautious.

The second we were on the highway, far enough away from the house, Alice sighed.

"I'm a little surprised they let me take you." She admitted, and I looked over at her.

"Why?" I asked. "They know you wouldn't let anything happen to me. They probably wanted to talk about me anyway."

"Because they know how badly I want to talk to you."

"About my dreams?" I recalled, and she glanced over. "I don't know what else I could tell you about. I didn't have any last night. _Finally_."

She was quiet for a solid minute, which didn't really bother me. I just looked out the window. We were going south, so probably heading toward Tacoma. It was about the same distance away as Seattle, but knowing her, we'd get there a lot quicker than anyone else.

"How much about my ability do you know?" She finally asked. I knew what she meant. I took a breath. Humming a little in thought.

"Just that you can see the future." I answered. "You see people do things before it happens."

She nodded. "It's an ability I've had since I was very young. Even when I was human."

I looked back over, now interested. I didn't know that could happen.

"When I was about your age, I started to notice things about me that I hadn't before." She went on. "Particularly, the way I'd just know things."

"Intuition?" I asked, remembering that word, and she smiled.

"Exactly." She said, but her smile faded. "It's a little hard for me to remember, but from what I can recall, it's something I'd had for awhile. As I got older, it got stronger. My predictions became more reliable than anything else, and more often than not, I was right. About the same time, my dreams started changing. Very vivid ones. I'd dream about everyone I knew, and I could tell them things that hadn't even happened yet. Nobody ever believed me when I'd tell them about it, but that didn't really bother me."

I stayed quiet now. I wasn't quite sure where this story was going.

"One day, one of the first real visions I ever had, I saw something I wasn't supposed to." She murmured. "It got me into some trouble, but I won't get into that. What I'm trying to say, is.. Leandra, I see so much of myself in you."

"Me?" I frowned, confused. "Like what?"

"Think about it." She pressed gently. "All the things you've told us that have actually happened."

"Wait." I turned a little in my seat to face her better. "You think _I_ have a gift like yours?" That thought was almost laughable, but she wasn't laughing and neither was I. I didn't know how I felt, thanks to Jasper in the back seat. His participation was no longer a mystery.

"There's no way."

"I noticed it the second I met you." She explained. "There was something to you that I couldn't let go. More than the obvious, I mean." I thought back to that day. That felt like so long ago now.

"I waited, though." She added. "I watched. Every moment since has only proven me right. Now I'm sure of it."

"I think you must be mixed up."

"I'm almost never wrong." She pointed out. "You might not believe me right now, but think about it. The other night, you knew Jack was about the get out."

"No I didn't." I scoffed a little. "If I'd known-"

"Subconsciously." She clarified. "The same place your dreams and instincts come from. Subconsciously, you knew."

"No I didn't." I argued again, but even I heard how unsure my voice was this time. I really thought about it. Of the many times I woke up that night, one had been way worse than all the others, and I hardly remembered anything that happened in it. _Why_ was it worse?

I'd been scared the entire way to Seattle. It could have been the fear of getting caught or killed, but it didn't feel the same way. I'd even noticed then that it didn't feel the same.

That dream I'd had before my family left. I'd even noticed it then.

Further back. Knowing when to get to work or hide. Knowing when to exist, and when to disappear. It'd been like being stuck in a never-ending game of walking on egg shells. Sometimes I'd misjudge, but most of the time, I knew things were getting tense before he was even home from work.

"There are things that happened that I didn't know about." I pointed out.

"You're still very young." She countered. "You wouldn't get everything right from the start. There is a lot going on beneath your thoughts that you can't explain. I see it in you all the time."

"Why are you bringing this up now?" I finally asked. As if I needed more to think about. "Even if I did have some kind of ability, which I don't, why would it matter now?"

"Carlisle wanted me to wait." She replied. "Esme too. They didn't want to overwhelm you, but.. I've waited plenty long enough. I wanted you to be prepared."

"For what?"

"How quickly you're growing and how hard the nights get now only tell me it's about to get stronger, and I didn't want you to be afraid if something happens. Leandra, you're very special. Something like this is very rare. The chances of even finding you were astronomical."

"Nothing's gonna happen." I mumbled, looking out the window. It made me kinda sad that she thought I had that much worth to me. It wasn't that I didn't want to believe I had some kind of purpose. I just knew myself. There was no way I was special in any way.

"I'm not going to press." She said. "But if you need to ask any questions-"

"I have one." I replied, and she looked over. "What makes you so sure? I mean, I get it, with the dreams and stuff, but.. I've never done anything like you can do."

"You wouldn't, Leandra." She smiled a little. "My ability is what it is because I was turned. Our strongest traits as humans sometimes follow us and strengthen when we're changed. Sometimes there's an ability there, sometimes there isn't, but in my case, an ability I had as a human was only enhanced."

"This is so hard to believe."

"Why is that so hard for you to believe?" She asked with a small laugh. "Leandra, you're very special in so many ways. This gift you're convinced you don't have is just another part of you. Give it time."

I shook my head.

"I just want to let you know, though, that fighting against it will only hurt you. That's also partly why I've wanted to talk to you about it. I know it should wait, but I'm running out of time."

"Hurt me how?"

"You'd be fighting yourself."

"I do that all the time anyway."

"And now you know part of the reason why." She said.

"But then why is it happening now?"

"It's not just happening now. It's only getting stronger. You're getting older." She repeated. "Things are changing for you, and that includes your mind."

"I still don't get it."

"You've always been so attentive to your instincts." She said. "Things most humans never really have a chance to get to know on the level you know yours. That in itself shows that you have a connection with your subconscious that most people never get. Not only that, but humanity has condemned anything like that. They're so quick to call someone crazy if they show a higher mental capacity than anyone else.

"They choose to see it as something bad, but it really isn't. It means you've developed something not many other people can. You pick apart pieces of a situation on a whole different level, and you use that to your advantage. Without trying, or even knowing it's happening.

"The human subconscious is always working, but you can access yours." She smiled. "It stores details and tells you things most people would miss. That's how an ability like ours is made, Leandra. By strengthening that connection between your conscious mind and subconscious one, as your subconscious is capable of so much more than your conscious. Developing that doesn't make you crazy or weird. It makes you special because you see things and understand things on a much deeper level."

Explaining it this way made me feel a little better about it.

"What about Edward?" I asked, curious. "He's never seen anything, has he?"

"Not directly, no." She replied. "But his ability shows him the conscious thought. Only what you think about directly, not underneath, but he has confirmed that your mind is a really complex place. You look at things in a very complicated way and your thoughts are stronger than any other ten-year-old's he's ever met."

That wasn't a surprise to me. He'd already told me that.

"Maybe that's why I feel different?" I hesitantly murmured. "Not just because Jack made me be."

"It's definitely possible." She nodded. "You've noticed the differences between you and other children your age, and I can imagine it's been really frustrating for you to see those differences without understanding why."

"Trust yourself, Leandra." Jasper suggested from the back seat.

"But I don't dream about everyone else." I remembered what she said before. "Just me."

"Never?" She asked quietly.

I hesitated, thinking.

"Not really." I replied. "Well, in a way, kinda. I look at things the way I would see them."

"No two abilities are the exact same." She said. "Yours is bound to be a little different. You may have more limitations than I did, but that's okay. I'm still fully prepared to help you any way I can."

It was still really hard to believe, though. My entire life, I'd been nothing. Just kind of there. Background noise. Alice sure seemed to know what she was talking about, but I couldn't just take her word for it.

It was nice to have this time to focus on something else besides Jack. She wasn't lying, though. There were a lot of things about me that I couldn't explain.

"How.." I mumbled after several silent seconds. "How would I.. Work on it if that's what it is? Big _if_."

"First step is to acknowledge it." She explained. "You're brand new, so that may take a little time, but eventually, I think you can learn to accept it as part of you. Like I said, don't fight it. It's not going to go away. It'll only get stronger, with or without your permission."

That made me a little nervous.

"Now, as you're probably aware, not everything you're going to see will be good." She went on in my silence. "I want you to be prepared for that, too. Sometimes, it'll feel like your mind is turning against itself, and showing you things you don't want to see." I looked down. That was familiar.

"This will be a learning experience for us too. I've never had anyone I needed to teach. I've never met another person with an ability like this, but you're not alone." She murmured. "Until we know more about how it works, it'll be pretty difficult."

"How it works?" I asked. I needed clarification.

"My gift is decision based." She said. "Meaning, I have to wait until a decision is made before I can see a clear vision of what will happen as a result of that decision. When someone is undecided, it gets hazy. Yours may not be decision based. If that's the case, your ability would be stronger than mine is."

"But I won't see things like you do." I gathered.

"Most likely not. Not until you're turned. If you decide to go that route."

I nodded a little.

"That would be extremely overwhelming in the limited space humans have in their mind." She looked over. "There's just not enough room to have anything like that come through, and the wiring is different. I can do it because our minds are capable of so much more than a human's is." I understood what she meant, and I nodded again.

She seemed to let it drop there, but I knew if I came up with any questions, she'd answer them. I was quiet now until we got to Tacoma. I filed that information away, but I knew for sure it would be on my mind again later.

I was a little worried that Jasper would get bored as he followed us from the car, but he insisted he wouldn't.

The first couple of stores at the little mall Alice chose for us weren't that bad. I liked most of the stuff she picked out for me, and I was okay with the outfits we decided on together.

However, through these stores, Alice had drifted into the dress section a little too often for my comfort, and I knew she was planning something. I braced myself for it, already preparing a speech about how dresses were evil.

"Leandra." Alice approached from two aisles away. Sure enough, carrying three different dresses.

"No." I muttered without much else.

"Just one." She smiled, holding up her choices. "Please?"

"Remember what you said at Bella's party?" I pointed out.

"But these are perfect for the graduation party." She insisted, holding a light green one up to me. "It's only days away." I gave her a flat look. Not quite a glare, but it could go there if I needed it to.

I had heard that party mentioned here or there over the last few weeks, so I wasn't surprised to hear about it now. I just hadn't known I'd need to wear a dress or even be there.

"You promised." I grumbled, and she sighed, her smile fading sadly.

I suddenly felt a little guilty. It meant a lot to her, and it didn't cost me a damn thing. She was trying to help me, even if I wasn't quite on the same page yet. She'd been there from the beginning. Why shouldn't I try to be a little more cooperative?

I whined as I gave in. "Which one is the longest one?"

She grinned again, holding up a yellow and white one.

"Just get that one." I muttered, looking back down at the package of socks I was holding. "I'll wear the stupid thing, only if you promise I get to burn it after." I jumped as she suddenly hugged me happily. I grunted a little, but laughed at her enthusiasm.

 **A/N: Oh boy, okay. A lot of talking in this one, but I think we got some answers, yes?  
** **A lot of reviews are saying it's pretty unbelievable for Jack to be out, and yeah, it kinda is. I've just personally seen how someone can use money and endless loopholes to get their way when they know what they're doing. Not for something like that, it's true, but still. I'd like to have as much faith in the system as you guys have lol now, let's have a collective 'thank you' to Carlisle for keeping track of everything.  
** **THANK YOU! To my new reviewers! I really think you guys saved this chapter. You have no idea lol so THANK YOU! AND HUGE THANK YOU! To my faithful reviewers! I totally understand where you guys are coming from.  
** **From here, I think I'll just be moving along. This was such a rocky few chapters, and it'll be nice to get things back on a more recognizable course. I'm pretty sure we run into Jacob next chapter.  
** **Until Eight, my friends!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Do I really have to be there? Is that really a good idea? People hate me, remember?"

Before I even knew it, the day of their high school graduation had arrived. They were making me be there to watch it. Considering this was the first time I'd shown my face out in public in days, I was pretty nervous.

The last thing I needed was to be chased out of the auditorium by a mob of people.

"You'll be fine." Esme assured me. "You'll never get anywhere by hiding."

"It's worked so far, hasn't it?"

"We'll be right there with you the whole time."

I hadn't heard anything about Jack since the day after he got out, but I assumed nobody had been allowed to kill him. I assumed they would tell me _some_ thing when the problem was solved, if only to stop me from worrying.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wear the dress until the party after the graduation. During the actual thing, I could just wear my normal jeans and a nice shirt.

Dreading later, I climbed out of the back seat of Carlisle's car in the crowded high school parking lot, closing the door behind me and letting him take my hand. He rounded the car with me to Esme's side.

I hadn't been back here since the day of the fight last year. We were in a whole different part of it, but it was still a little bittersweet. I felt like a whole different person than I was back then. A part of me had been changed that day. Part of me had woken up when I finally snapped, and I was still fighting that.

I felt a little exposed out here. Without even meaning to, I scanned every face around me, waiting for worst. I didn't know what reason Jack would have to be here, but I doubted he'd even try. There were way too many people, even for his daring side. Still. I held tight to Carlisle's hand, sticking right to his side.

It was a little chilly today, especially for June, but I knew we wouldn't be spending too much time outside. Carefully stepping around a puddle, I followed Carlisle closely toward the auditorium. He patiently stayed with me as I avoided getting my shoes wet.

Once inside, I looked around at all the people already here. Instantly stepping closer to his side at just how packed it was. Most of the town had to be there. Apparently, people graduating was a very big deal.

"Wow." I mumbled. "I sort of wish I stayed home with Emmett."

"You'll be fine." Carlisle assured me with a slight chuckle. Me being uncomfortable around so many people was nothing new. I'd always been this way. For as long as Carlisle had known me, being stuck in the middle of so many people I didn't know made me deeply uncomfortable.

"Leandra!" I turned sharply, looking back at a rather familiar voice. Carlisle turned as well, and for once, he seemed surprised.

"Josh?" I couldn't help smiling as he pushed his way passed a group. A quick glance around him told me he was by himself. Aside from the unfamiliar kid following him.

The two of them made it to my side, and I was even more surprised as Josh greeted me with a hug.

"Hey." I smiled again as he pulled back.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. "Any better?"

"Um.." I glanced up at the people that walked by us. "Yeah, a little."

"Oh, crap." He laughed, and turned to the kid next to him. "Leandra, this is Noah. Noah, Leandra."

"Hey." Noah greeted me kindly, waving with a small smile. I returned it.

"His brother is graduating today." Josh explained. "I came here with them to watch. We've gotta save some seats for his parents, but I'll be seeing you at the party later."

"You will?" I couldn't help smiling.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Alice invited us. She didn't tell you? Me and Zack. Andrew will be there too."

"Remind me to thank her." I replied, and he laughed.

I felt so much lighter as we parted ways. Somehow knowing he didn't hate me for how I'd acted the last time I saw him made me feel so much better.

Carlisle found us seats closer to the front. Esme to his left, me to his right.

It was easier once we were sitting. I was stationary, able to look around a little better, and I did so curiously. There were so many people here.

I was surprised to find I recognized several of the other kids in the seats all around us. A few finding a group to sit together at. Kids I used to go to school with back when I lived in Sappho. They must have had older siblings graduating.

The difference more than a year could make surprised me. They looked so different. I briefly wondered if I looked different too. Several minutes passed this way, with me just watching these kids, until Carlisle spoke up again.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Just looking." I murmured in reply. "I know those kids." I nodded toward the group of five or six kids a few rows to my right. They hadn't noticed me yet, thankfully. Allowing me to get my look without having to hope that they didn't try to talk to me.

"Why don't you try talking to them?" He offered, and immediately, I shook my head.

"I hated them." I replied quietly. "I still do." He hugged me into his side with a sigh while I kept my eyes on them.

Once it actually got going, I tried to ignore everyone around me, and it actually didn't take that long. Just all the clapping and noise around me at each name called got to me a little bit. Making me edgy, because I wasn't used to it, but I grit my teeth and dealt with it.

Some old lady sitting behind me wore too much perfume that was making my stomach turn, and I felt too warm around all these people. Being packed this close to them, where any of them could reach me if they wanted to, I wanted to run. It was stupid to feel this way, but I couldn't help it. This was hard on me.

I couldn't wait to get out of the auditorium when it was over, but by holding my hand, Carlisle ensured I did have to wait. Not letting me run on ahead. With the group trying to leave all at once, I could see why. Even after waiting, we still wound up in a tight packed group filing toward the door.

He eventually had to lift me, because I was about to bite the person next to me as he kept bumping into me. I didn't appreciate strangers pushing me over. Even unintentionally. I was small, so there was a good chance he didn't even know I was here.

With Carlisle holding me, I could see above the sea of people, which made it a little easier to breathe without panicking.

"You're doing great, Leandra." Carlisle assured me, which made me feel a little better, but not by much. At least he thought so.

Out in the parking lot, it was even more crowded, because the graduates had come out to greet friends and family. Packing together. We found Jasper and Alice waiting by the car, but the fresh air only relieved me enough to cry a little. Nothing huge, just a few tears, but it was enough to gain their attention.

"Being stuck around all those people got to her." Esme explained quietly. Alice sighed and pulled me from Carlisle, holding me in her own arms.

"What am I going to do with you?" She asked, and I looked down. I knew she wasn't mad at me, but I was mad at myself. I knew she could see that.

"You know." She said. "I've never asked you, and I'm rather curious now. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Me?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you." She laughed a little. I pursed my lips a little in thought. That was a question I didn't know how to answer, because it was something I couldn't remember ever giving much thought to. I never expected to live that long, and lately, I'd been too busy with my own problems to think more than a day ahead. Besides Andrew bringing it up.

What kind of life would I even have when I grew up?

"Alive." I answered, and her expression softened.

"That's not what I mean." She told me, and I shrugged.

"That's what I want to be." I said. "I want to be alive. I haven't thought about much else, I guess."

She gave a glance to Carlisle, a sad smile on her face.

"How did she do?" Jasper asked, looking to Carlisle as well. "There were a lot of people in there."

"The lady behind me stunk." I mumbled, and he looked to me, amused. "But I didn't hit a single person."

"She did very well." I looked over at Edward's approach. "But it was really hard on her."

"You just need more practice." Alice assured me, letting me to my feet. "You'll be alright."

I sure hoped so.

I gave another glance around the crowded parking lot. I had to make sure I didn't see anyone I didn't want to see. With Josh here, I needed to be careful.

"He's not here, Leandra." Edward murmured, but I had to see that for myself.

"I can't help it." He knew that. I sighed, looking down again. "My head hurts."

"We should probably get back anyway. We have a lot of decorating to do." Esme replied. For the party. She gently took my shoulder in her hand, opening the back passenger door of the car for me. I took the hint, hugging her lightly before climbing into the car.

Sighing in relief as she closed the door behind me. I laid to the side, rubbing my tired eyes. Just enjoying the quiet and safety of being in the car.

I had to think, though. I was around all those people, and nothing bad happened.

Carlisle and Esme stayed outside, talking to the others quietly for a few moments. I couldn't hear anything they said, and I didn't try. I knew they talked about me, but I didn't mind. I was so used to it.

I wasn't in there alone for longer than a minute, before Carlisle and Esme climbed in as well. Jasper, Alice and Edward all walking away to their own cars. As we got moving, I felt oddly proud of myself. Content, in a way. I hadn't believed I could do it. Maybe Carlisle and Esme being with me had helped me adjust like it had before.

"Leandra." Carlisle spoke when we were halfway home. I turned my attention to him. "During the party, I want you to stay close."

"To you?"

"To any of us." He clarified. "I think it'll be good for you to be seen, but not alone."

"Okay." I mumbled.

"But don't push yourself. If you need space, just let us know." He went on, and that surprised me. "We'll make sure no one bothers you."

I knew he had no idea how much I appreciated that.

"Okay." I repeated, but my tone had lightened with relief. It got better knowing they wouldn't be disappointed if I needed to get away from everyone. Knowing I had an exit strategy made it easier to imagine what the house was going to be like later. I'd heard about Alice's parties. It was a very intimidating scenario.

As soon as we got home, Alice and Jasper were there already, but Edward wasn't far behind us.

I didn't really feel up to helping decorate, so I sat off to the side to watch.

I fought my thoughts, knowing Edward was around. I didn't want to dwell too much on worrying about Jack, especially anything having to do with my memories. I just wasn't sure what else to do.

I knew he wasn't done. It might have been only a matter of time before he was back in prison or someone were to take him out, but in the meantime, what was I supposed to do?

I looked over, my attention taken by the sound of the piano across the room. I'd heard Edward play before, but nothing like this. The song started off slow, but quickly started to pick up speed and complexity. It sounded so sad, but as it picked up, the feeling did too. It got stronger. Less sad and more determined.

I'd never heard him play this one before. I stood up, and drifted closer. Almost like I was drawn toward the sound. He glanced over as I approached his side, standing there and watching his hands.

How anyone could make sense of those billion white and black keys was beyond me, but it was beautiful when they did. Especially the way Edward played.

"Music can tell you things about a person that words could never come close." He told me. "The same goes for thoughts. People hide so much. I play what I hear, and this is just the music I hear in you."

I kept my eyes down, watching his hands.

"I wish I could hear that." I admitted quietly.

"One day you will." He seemed so confident about that. "Music helps me focus, and I've found it to be very helpful in staying calm. I can teach you, if you want."

"I couldn't do it." I replied instantly.

"It really bothers me how little confidence you have. How very little you think of yourself."

"I know." I replied. "I'm sorry." I couldn't change that.

"I bet you could learn if you tried." He looked over. "You're certainly smart enough."

I smiled a little at his compliment, but to be honest, I didn't know what to do with it. Just like with any other compliment, I heard it, but it didn't stick.

"So these friends of yours." He went on anyway. "I guess I'll finally get to meet them."

"Yeah." I smiled again. "Alice invited them."

"Speaking of Alice." He redirected the discussion again. "She tells me you doubt your gift." I sighed. Not that again. "I'm afraid so."

"Look at me." I replied. "I'm nothing. There's no way someone like _me_ can do something amazing like that."

"Let me see if I can explain this right." He sighed. "When people think about themselves, it's never about themselves. When people think about themselves, it's always a compilation of all the emotions they've ever gotten from people they've ever interacted with. From those emotions comes a rather complicated image."

I focused on his hands still flowing over the keys. Almost like he knew watching him was calming. Something about the movement with the sound was calming.

"Leandra, yours is very dark."

"I know." I replied quieter now.

I had no doubts that he saw the darkness in me I couldn't hide myself from. He saw the hatred I had for myself, sometimes enough to turn my stomach. He heard the things I'd heard. He knew the reasons why I hated myself so much, and what happened to make me that way.

It wasn't news to me.

"There is a constant battle in your head." He observed. "It hasn't stopped the entire time you've been sitting here."

Trying to beat back those memories this conversation was bringing forward.

"There is still so much you have yet to say out loud. Why don't you ever say them?"

The answer to that sprang forward before I could stop it. The nervousness, the fear of admitting too much. That was a fear that would probably never go away. The guilt I felt over it. I kept my eyes down, closing my eyes and taking a breath when the briefest of flashes of just one memory got through.

The darkness, the incoherent hisses of whispers against that blackness. My heart reacted to that flash, reminded of a time when that wasn't a memory.

I didn't answer out loud. I didn't have to. All I had to do was look over at him. Ever so slightly, his jaw clenched and he looked back down at the piano.

"It's not that you refuse to see the things we see in you." He went on. "It's that you literally _can't_. You want to, but you _can't_. Almost your entire life, your view of yourself was distorted by extreme hate and violent anger, and it stuck that way. Yet you protect it."

I looked down.

"But I digress." He sighed. "The point is you don't believe these things about yourself, but whether you choose to believe it or not, your gift is going to get stronger."

"This is nuts." I shook my head. "You see me, right? There's no way."

"I see you." He nodded. "But do _you_? Do you really see you the way you see you, or do you see you the way Jack wants you to see you?"

Boy, that was a heavy one. We both knew the answer to that.

"That still doesn't mean anything." I argued. "I still don't know why you guys wanted to bring it up now. I still don't believe a single word of it."

"Yes you do."

"Not fair." I pointed at him.

"What's not fair is the way you try as hard as you can to believe the lies you tell." He countered. "It's not fair to the rest of us that only want to help you, but it's especially not fair to you."

I was trying not to get irritated.

"The signs are all right there in front of you, and you're ignoring them because you're afraid. The proof is right there, but you can't see it."

I didn't know what to tell him. It was just easier not to believe it until I couldn't deny it anymore.

"Fair enough." He nodded. "As long as you're not taken too far off guard."

He started the song over again, as he had been doing this whole time, and I listened to it closer this time. Now that he'd stopped telling me what my mind was like, I could do that.

"You hear this in me?" I asked after a minute.

"I wrote this for you." He smiled a little. "It's not quite finished, but I do like it so far." I smiled as well, amazed.

"Do you have other songs for everyone else?"

"Would you like to hear a few?"

"Yeah." I replied. He finished my song first before flowing right into another, more complex one, but it was slower. Right away, it captured my attention. I couldn't place who it could have been for, though.

"Guess." He challenged, so I listened to it closer. Who did this remind me of? The music was so sad, but sweet at the same time.

"Esme?" I asked, and he immediately smiled.

"There you go." He nodded. "This is one of her favorites. I play it every chance I get, because she enjoys hearing it." It fit. Esme was such a beautiful person, but she was strong. I glanced up at Esme across the house as she helped hang party lights. I saw the smile there, so she knew this was for her.

I loved seeing her smile.

"How hard would it be to learn?" I asked. "How to play this this thing?"

He smiled again.

"It wouldn't be difficult. Like I said, you're definitely smart enough." He replied. "All it takes is some dedication, and a certain appreciation for creating beautiful things."

I could appreciate that. It was much better than creating pain.

The song ended, and he let it fade out.

"Try this." He said, reaching down and taking my wrist gently. He placed my hand on the keys, separating my fingers and setting them on the right keys. I was at the lower end of the piano, so he was giving me the slow part. He showed me in what order to press them. Patiently removing his hand after a minute, and letting me do it myself.

It didn't sound as beautiful just by itself. Since it was the lower keys, it sounded sad. I noted that.

"Find the rhythm." He said. "And when I tap you, you join in with that little combination, okay?" I hesitated, but I nodded.

He started off slow, just a few notes at a time, but as soon as I felt the little tap on my leg, I pressed my keys to about the same pace he was setting. I immediately smiled, unable to help it. I looked up at him, and he was smiling as well. Giving me a nod.

"We aren't much alone, but when we add others to the mix.." He trailed off, but kept playing his part, which made my part sound a lot better. I got the idea, and it was pretty brilliant to show me this way.

I didn't finish the song. My nerves got the better of me and I wanted to stop, so he allowed that. Taking over my part for me.

"I say you should consider it." He said. "You've definitely got an ear for it." I would. I'd think about it. He had so much confidence in me, maybe I _could_ give it more of a try. Some day. Not today, but some day.

If I could ever somehow learn to play the piano like him, I would finally have something worth being proud of.

"Can you play the first one again?" I asked hesitantly. I really liked hearing it.

"Of course." He replied, and he did.

The party was set to begin as soon as everyone arrived, and though Alice had managed to wrestle me into getting dressed, I wasn't that upset about it. Knowing my friends were coming made it a whole lot easier.

The dress fit perfectly, but I still hated it. It hung down just passed my knees, and was a light cotton material. Sleeveless, with thin straps over the shoulders. It wasn't anything too fancy, which I appreciated. I liked the color, a light pastel yellow and white, with a white ribbon around the middle, but I didn't like the fact that it was a dress.

The whole outfit was so far out of my comfort zone, and Alice had to insist on doing my hair into a tight french braid. Securing my hair out of my face, and it landed down just below my shoulders.

"Oh, don't you look so pretty?" Emmett plopped down next to me on the couch. He said the same thing the last time I had to wear a dress, but it didn't irritate me as much this time. "I can see your ears." They were normally hidden.

"I get to burn it." I smiled a little, picking at the dress.

"Hopefully after you're done wearing it."

"Duh." I muttered. "I'm not gonna burn it while I'm wearing it." He laughed at my obvious attitude, reaching over and covering my face with his hand. I gave him a look, but it was funny. His hand was almost the size of my face.

Moving my head just right, I managed to bite onto his hand between his pointer finger and thumb.

He looked at me, watching me as if fascinated as I watched him right back. Gently, he moved his hand, which turned my head. Trying to shake me off without hurting me, or testing my grip.

Surprised, he looked over at Carlisle as he walked in. "She's biting me."

"Tattler." I mumbled as if Carlisle couldn't see for himself. I laughed at how obvious it was, and the way it must look to him.

"No." He chuckled. "I mean it as a good thing. You haven't bitten me like this in a very long time, shorty."

"Grr." I grumbled through my teeth, carefully biting harder on his hand until I felt something off. I frowned, releasing him.

"What?" He asked.

"Ow." I muttered, poking one of my teeth. It didn't really hurt, but it felt more like a sharp ache. It was the one right next to my front top tooth, and I hadn't noticed it hurting before.

"Lemmie see." Emmett insisted. I opened my mouth, pointed it out, and he poked it.

"Oh, it's loose. That's normal." He said. "That's supposed to happen. I could yank it out right now, if you want?"

"You?"

"I'd be way faster than slamming a door." He chuckled.

"No." I laughed, covering my mouth and leaning away. "It's not done yet. It would hurt too much."

"Nah." He said. "By the time it hurt, it'd be gone." I shook my head. "No? Aw."

"You can yank it when it gets looser."

"Yay!" He grinned. He held his hand back up, and I bit him again. Chomping lighter, but I still got my point across.

"Can we focus, please?" Alice sighed, walking into the room. I instantly let go of Emmett's hand, sitting straighter and giving Alice my full attention. I was relieved to see that I wasn't over-dressed. My outfit was pretty relaxed compared to Alice's.

"Ew." Emmett muttered, wiping the spitty part of his hand on my shoulder. I had a hard time keeping a straight face through that.

"Let's go over the plan." Alice went on. "Remember what Carlisle said. Stay with one of us or one of your friends at all times. I don't want you alone for a second. There's going to be a lot of people here, and more than a few of them are bound to know you."

"I won't be here to knock some heads together for you, shorty." Emmett piped up. "But we want to avoid any bloodshed, so behave yourself."

That would be bad.

"I think as long as Andrew stays with me, I'll be okay." I mumbled. "He always talks me out of trouble." Carlisle nodded.

"Okay." Alice nodded. "In the meantime, until they get here, stay with us." I nodded as well.

"Also remember." Carlisle spoke up. "If you need time away from everything, just let us know." Both Alice and Emmett nodded, so I knew they were both in on it. Emmett stood up, gave my head a pat as he passed toward the stairs.

It was a large group that showed up right off the bat, like they were scared to be the only ones showing up first. I quickly moved to Carlisle's side as Alice ran off to answer the door, and Esme quickly moved to make sure the snack table was perfect.

"Can I just hide in the closet?" I asked, suddenly very nervous.

"You'll be alright." He assured me, and I couldn't help feeling almost threatened as I listened to the stampede coming into the room. I moved quickly to Carlisle's other side, grabbing his hand. He didn't seem to mind that, seeming to prefer it that way, holding mine in return.

There had to have been twenty people in that first group, and stupidly, I thought that'd be the most that would show up. After that first wave of people, another showed up minutes later.

I'd underestimated how many people were coming, clearly. The more packed the house became, the more intently I followed Carlisle, but I gained a lot of attention I didn't want.

"Kill me now." I muttered after the latest squealing group passed by me. "Please."

As the night went on, Esme stayed pretty busy restocking food that had run out, and ensuring everyone was comfortable. Alice and Jasper were busy wandering around, talking to everyone, so the one I chose to stick with was Carlisle as he wandered more slowly, keeping an eye on everyone. I hardly saw Edward at all, but I knew he was around there somewhere, along with Bella.

The music was loud, but the people were louder. I hadn't let myself calm down once yet. I knew all I had to do was run off to my room, but making it from where we were on the second floor all the way to my room seemed like a mile to run. Too far for my taste, and every time we had wandered close enough to it, it felt too much like chickening out.

I did eventually have to leave his side, though. In the middle of the busiest place, I had to find the bathroom through the flood of people. There was a rather large group just parked right outside of it.

"S'cuse me." I grumbled, but they didn't seem to hear me. I repeated it, trying to step around them. Having to back up when one would move unexpectedly. Until I got irritated, making my voice louder. "Move your ass!"

They parted instantly, surprised by the shout that seemed to come from nowhere, and I darted through the tiny space provided. Slamming and locking the door behind me.

I took several minutes in there. Just taking a breath enough to cry a few tears. I really didn't want to leave the bathroom. I really, really didn't want to go back out there. If they only knew what this was doing to me. To me, this was a big deal.

When I got back out, however, I couldn't find Carlisle where I'd left him. I moved forward, looking all around myself. Maybe he went back downstairs. He hadn't been there in awhile.

Wandering that direction, I still couldn't find him. Standing up on a chair, I looked. Was this some sort of test? This had to be some sort of test. Some way to see what I would do when I was left alone in a giant group of people. I didn't appreciate this test one bit, though. Now definitely wasn't the time to test me this way, because I was positive I was going to fail.

I stepped from the chair, onto a table for a higher vantage point. Looking again, I didn't see anybody from my family. Not even Esme, but that could just be because she was busy trying to make sure kids weren't off doing stuff they shouldn't.

The overwhelmingly crowded room was starting to get to me. Making it hard to breathe. It made me dizzy, and uneasy. Panicky. I didn't like feeling this way, especially in my own house, and I didn't exactly want to throw up all over the floor. I knew there weren't that many people in here, but in my mind, it was wall-to-wall people and I was here alone.

I whimpered, deciding instead of hanging around by myself, I had to go somewhere. I jumped back onto the chair, bouncing from the chair back onto the floor. Instead of moving the larger distance to my room, I headed for the front door. Opening it right as a few more people got there.

I couldn't believe how big these three new guys were. Darker skin, short, dark hair and dark eyes. They actually seemed as surprised to see me as I was to see them. One, obviously deeply confused, frowned and looked me over. There was one I recognized.

"Oh, this is rich." The front-most newcomer spoke, incredulously amused. "You've got to be kidding me. They cannot be serious."

"Party's that way." I muttered, stepping back and allowing them in.

"Do you live here, kid?" The newcomer asked.

"Yeah." I answered, slightly intimidated.

Puzzled, I watched the three newcomers frown a little, looking around as I closed the door behind them all. This made me very uncomfortable. I watched them, unsure about these guys. They were pretty well built. Studying me now with obvious confusion.

The first newcomer laughed again, once more humorlessly. "You're human."

"So?" I didn't get it. Why were they so surprised by me?

"Though you can hardly tell under all the stink."

"Stink?" I frowned. "I don't stink. Who are you?"

He offered me his hand. "I'm Jacob." I eyed his hand, keeping my arms crossed. I wasn't that tempted to take it. "And it's not you that stinks. It's the group of bloodsuckers you're living with that does."

I assumed he was talking about the fact that my family were vampires. I narrowed my eyes, so not up to being talked down to tonight. The condescending note in his tone pissed me off. Not to mention the insult he'd just flung at my family for no reason.

"Shut up, or get the fuck out of my house." Instead of being offended like I hoped they would be, they were all even more amused. Laughing a little at my sharp tone.

"Whoa." The guy to Jacob's side laughed. "Calm down there, little ankle-biter."

"Bite me, asshole." I countered.

"I wouldn't say that around here, kid." Jacob joked at me, inciting more laughter from the three of them, but he was just pissing me off even more. He was being obnoxious, and I wasn't impressed.

He was fueling me, and I was fueling him. Whoever this was was irritating me. Quickly.

"Are you like their pet or something?" Jacob asked anyway. "This has to be some kind of joke."

"I'm not some pet." Jacob looked to me, and my voice quieted. "You don't know everything."

"So explain it to me." He said, and I looked down. "How does a group of bloodsuckers keep a human around without wanting to pounce and kill it? What? Are they waiting for you to _age_? Like whiskey?"

I wasn't sure what that meant, but I wasn't going to stand there and let them talk about them like that.

"Why are you even here?" I snapped. "You seem like you don't even wanna be."

"We're looking for Bella."

"She's that way." I pointed toward the rest of the house. "Now shut up and leave me alone."

With that, I turned and left the house. I was tired but strung out.

Choosing to stay on the porch, I breathed in the cool, damp night air as I leaned on the handrail. The porch was acceptable, right? I wasn't off getting into trouble.

I breathed in deep, letting it out in a sigh. Repeating that several times. I was deeply convinced at that point that Alice had been trying to kill me when she made plans for this party however long ago. It was darker on this side of the house, easier on my frazzled nerves.

It wasn't raining, but it was threatening to. I could sense it.

Despite how well I had been doing lately, I did have my limits. I did have my limits, and this party was pushing them. Quickly. I hoped I could pass whatever test this was, but I seriously just wanted to cry.

I stood there, calming down for several minutes, until I started to feel like I was being watched. I gave a glance around. Nobody else was outside with me, and as far as I could see, nobody inside was watching me, but I had a feeling I knew who it was that was watching me.

"Yeah," I spoke quietly, knowing whoever was watching me could hear me. "This sucks." To my embarrassment, I actually did start to cry. I was stressed out, overwhelmed, and as much as being outside helped, I knew I'd have to go back in there eventually. I really didn't want to.

Irritated, I pulled my braid out, hating the way it was hurting my head. My usually wavy hair was even wavier now as I patted it down, but I doubted it was too messy. Not that I cared much, though. Closing my eyes, trying nearly in vain to breathe deep.

I looked over, though, at the sound of an approaching car. Oh god, I thought. _More_? I waited, but as soon as I could see it, I smiled. I recognized Heather's car.

"About time." I called from the porch as both Josh and Zack, along with Andrew, climbed out of the car. They jogged over to me, meeting me up on the porch.

"I'm sorry I kept them, Leandra." Heather also stood from the car. "Forgive me?"

"It's okay." I replied with a small laugh. "You should stay. Have fun for a minute." And get away from Jack for a little while.

She honestly considered it.

"Maybe I should." She smiled. "It looks like a huge turn-out. Think Esme could use a hand?" I doubted it.

"Sure." I said anyway. "She's inside." With a small nod, Heather started toward the door. I was sure Esme would appreciate the offer, too. More parental eyes on the place would always be welcome.

"Why are you out here?" Josh asked, looking back at the brightly lit house.

"It's really crowded." I admitted, sighing. "And I needed a break, but we can go in now."

I turned toward the door, returning Andrew's smile.

On our way in, we raided the snack table, and I led them into the quietest room in the house. My room. As soon as we were through the door, I took off my shoes. I had no plans to need them the rest of the night, so I kicked them across the room.

"Okay." Josh started as soon as we sat down in a circle on the floor beside my bed. "I'm not stupid."

"You're not?" Zack asked, surprised. He shoved him a little.

"I know something is going on." Josh continued. "Mom won't tell us why you can't come over, but she was just fine with us coming over here." Nervously, I looked over at Andrew.

"It's a long story." Andrew told him. "Just let it go for now."

"You know?" Josh asked him. "How's that fair?"

"She's my best friend." Andrew answered with a shrug. "I know lots of stuff that you don't. You'll probably figure it out eventually, but for now, let's just hang out here."

"Your room is _huge_." Zack added, probably to change the subject before Josh could add to it.

"I know." I laughed a little. "It kinda matches the house."

"Does it have to do with Jack coming back?" Josh was going to press anyway. "Seriously. What do you know that we don't?"

"I can't tell you." I sighed, confirming the fact that there was a reason.

"Why not?" He asked, now intent.

"Because."

"Because _why_?"

"Josh, just leave it alone." Zack muttered. "She doesn't have to tell us every little thing about her life, you know. Maybe it's none of your business."

"Don't you wanna know?" Josh asked him, looking at him where he sat next to me.

"Yeah." He replied. "But I'm not gonna bug her about it. If she wants to tell us, she will. Right?" He looked at me.

"Right." I confirmed. "And it's not that I don't wanna tell you guys. I really do, but I really can't. I don't want you guys to hate me."

If I ruined their view of their favorite uncle, they'd probably resent me for it.

"Just give me a hint." Josh added.

"Just leave it alone." Andrew nearly snapped. "You _don't_ wanna know this, and once you do, you can't un-know it."

I sighed. "This was a bad idea."

"Okay, okay." Josh sighed as well. "I'll stop. I'll just ask Jack tomorrow-"

"Don't do that." I looked at him.

"Josh, Jack is Leandra's stepdad." Andrew finally snapped, and the circle grew silent. I kept my eyes on the floor, heat springing to my cheeks.

"Wait." Josh muttered after a moment. "What?" From the corner of my eye, I saw Zack look at me in surprise.

"Remember what she said about her life before the Cullens found her?" Andrew went on.

"Yeah."

"He's the one that did all that to her." He explained. "She didn't want to tell you because she's worried you won't like her anymore for talking bad about him. He told her not to tell you."

"How?" Josh seemed too surprised to speak much.

"She didn't know you guys were related to him." Andrew replied quietly. "You saw the way she was acting that night. She's not making it up. He's been in prison for the last year."

"No." Josh replied. "I know she wasn't making it up, but.. _How_? I mean.. We never knew either."

He wasn't mad at me?

"He never told me about you." I mumbled, glancing up. "I didn't know. It's always just been me and him."

"He never told us about you either." Josh replied. "But.. Leandra, the things you said.. _He_ did all that to you?"

Silently, I nodded.

"Your mom knows about it." I added. "She knows, so I _can't_ go over to your house until he's not there."

"How did he get out of prison?" Zack asked. "He was there because of what he did, right?"

"Because of me." I sighed. "All those fights with kids at school kinda proved his point about me, and they let him out until they give him a new trial."

Josh stood up. I watched him, but he only wanted to pace.

"Does that make you our cousin?" Zack asked.

"Not anymore." Andrew answered for me. "Before, you guys were cousins by adoption, but that was taken away when the Cullens adopted her." He nodded.

I watched Josh, though. He seemed to be having trouble with the weight of this information. Exactly why I didn't want to tell him.

"You.." He muttered. "I-I mean.. I can't picture it."

"I had a hard time finding out about you guys, too." I replied. "But you can't tell him you know. I know it'll be hard, but if you tell him I told you-"

"You didn't tell me." He countered. "Andrew did, so he can't be mad at you." Loophole. I'd take it.

"Still." I said. "Don't say anything. Not yet."

He sighed, but nodded.

"I'm not mad at you, Leandra." I was glad when Josh told me that. "How could I be? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't make something like this up." I shook my head. I wished it wasn't true, and I desperately wanted to change it. I'd never make something like that up.

"It's just weird to think about." Zack added quietly. "He's so different from what she told us about him."

"He's good at that." I admitted just as quietly. "I've never met anyone as good at lying as he is."

"Well.." Josh sighed, sitting back down. "At least now I know why. This really sucks."

"I told you."

"I know."

"What did mom say when she found out?" Zack asked, looking over.

"She wants to help put him back in jail." Andrew explained. "My dad took some paperwork to Seattle last week, so we're just waiting on them to get through all of it."

"Well, they better hurry up." Josh said. "If he finds out what's going on, he could just go to California to stay with our grandpa."

"He's not allowed to do that." Andrew shook his head. "He can't leave the county."

"Doesn't mean he won't."

He had a point. My stomach did a nervous flip, but I knew for a fact that if Jack set any part of himself out of line, my family would hunt him down anyway. No matter who told them not to.

We all looked toward the door at a quiet knock. It opened, and Alice poked her head in.

"There you are." She said. "Leandra, can you come with me for a minute?" She gave a small greeting smile to the boys. I nodded, giving everyone an apologetic smile as I stood up.

"Just wait for me in here." I instructed them, standing up. "I'll be right back."

I followed her through all the people, up the stairs into Carlisle's office. To my surprise, Jacob and the two others were in there as well. I hesitated in the doorway, glaring at Jacob. He smirked, along with the two others.

Alice ushered me in, closing the door before Jacob spoke again.

"Port Angeles." He stated, pointing at me. "That was you."

"Yeah." I muttered. "That was me."

"You look a million times better than you did back then." He pointed out. It was a compliment, so I'd take it.

"And you looked better with long hair." I pointed out in return, and he smirked.

"So.. She lives here?" Jacob asked again, looking to Carlisle. "With you?"

"No." I countered sarcastically. "I live in the fucking yard. I'm just in here until it stops raining."

He snorted. "I still think it's funny. This is too ironic to even.. Seriously? A pet human? Is that something your kind does now?"

"That's uncalled for." Alice told him.

"How is it uncalled for?" Jacob asked, laughing again. "You're vampires. She's a human. What am I supposed to think?"

"Who the heck is this guy?" I demanded now, looking to Carlisle as well. "I don't like him."

"And I'm not sure I like this.." Jacob added, pointing between me and Carlisle.

"So?" I snapped. "Good thing nobody cares if you like it or not."

"Jacob." Carlisle sighed. "Would it help if I explained the circumstances?"

"Probably not."

I glared at him, but Alice gently took my shoulders in her hands, turning me to face her. I looked up at her as I heard Carlisle start to explain my situation.

"He's going to help us." Alice explained quietly. "We need his help to fix a problem. They're going to help us, but we're going to need to work with them a little. We need to train."

"Train?" I frowned.

"Work with them." She explained. "Learn all we can learn about what it takes to.. Fix the problem safely."

"Oh." I muttered. "And Jacob is going to help with that?"

"Yes." She replied. "We need their help if we're going to be as safe as possible, so please try not to make him angry."

"Sorry." I sighed. "I don't think he's mad at me yet, though. No matter what I say, they just laugh. I don't like the way they talk to you."

"It's the best chance we have." She reasoned.

"Weird." I looked over at Jacob's comment. "I didn't peg you as one for charity." He glanced to me, and I narrowed my eyes again. I bit back the response I had about shoving something up his ass. Like Alice had said, I didn't exactly want to piss them off if they were somehow going to help my family.

"Well, does she know about you?" Jacob asked.

"Yes." Carlisle answered. "We had to tell her. For her own safety, she's been made fully aware of the dangers."

"And she didn't run screaming? She's just.. Okay with what you are?" Jacob asked. "She's not held prisoner?"

"No." I told him incredulously. "They wouldn't do that to anyone." He huffed, but didn't seem convinced, so I spoke again. "Say that again, I'll knock your goddamn teeth out."

"She's feisty, isn't she?" One of the other newcomers chuckled, looking to Jacob.

Jacob looked to Carlisle. "And you're having us meet her, so you can bring her along tomorrow?"

"Yes." Carlisle answered.

"Afraid she might burn the house down?" He chuckled. "Can't find a fitting babysitter for the precious little pre-leech?" I wasn't sure I liked that name, not that I understood it much. Alice didn't either, given the look on her face when I glanced over at her.

"Not at all." Carlisle replied, seemingly ignoring that name. Probably to keep things civil as he continued. "We trust her completely in that aspect, but I fear who might show up while we're gone. If there are newborns targeting the area, I'd rather keep her safe with us as long as possible. This way, we know for sure that she's protected."

Jacob nodded slowly, sighing.

"Alright." He finally said, shrugging a little. "Bring her along tomorrow then. I'm not sure why you think you need my permission."

"We thought it'd be best not to catch Sam off guard." Alice explained. "Human, vampires.. Treaty?"

"Right." Jacob muttered. "Well, I don't think it'll be a big deal, unless she's bitten between now and then. Bring her. We'll be there." That seemed to relieve Carlisle. Alice as well, given the sudden ease of tension beside me.

"Thank you, Jacob." Carlisle replied. "This is very much appreciated."

"Thank you." I told him quietly as well, and he looked to me. He didn't seem okay with me, but that was probably only because I was a human living in a family of vampires. Why would he care anyway? Who the hell was he to judge?

"Is that it?" Jacob asked.

"Yes." Carlisle nodded a little. With a nod, the three of them turned, leaving the room. Silently, I flipped my middle finger at their backs.

"Leandra." Alice captured my hand. "They're helping us. I know this isn't ideal, but it's the best way."

"How can he help, though?" I asked. "With whatever it is. Sure, he's big, but-"

"That's a long story." She told me. "One I'm not sure they want me to explain to you. I will say, though, that they're more than capable of helping us." I nodded a little, accepting that.

"I get it." I said. "But they said I stink."

She laughed a little. "He's talking about our scent. It allows those that can pick up scents to know that you belong with us. It's sort of like a sign."

"Wait.." I muttered. "He can smell your scent?"

"That goes along with the long story," She answered with a glance to Carlisle. "But yes. They can. I think you'll figure it out tomorrow. We just needed you to meet them first, so they were aware of you before we brought you."

That made sense, so I nodded. It was silent for a moment.

"What's a newborn?" I asked quietly, looking over at Carlisle. "And is that what they have to help you with?"

Alice looked to him as well, probably unsure whether or not to tell me.

"It's okay." I mumbled. "Just tell me."

So she told me. She told me about the situation in Seattle. The newborns causing all the devastation. That was why they were so against me going there alone. Newborns, or new vampires, were very unruly when allowed to be.

Jacob and his two equally-as-annoying friends would be helping them keep everyone here safe. I still didn't know how they were supposed to stop vampires, but they seemed confident enough that they could, so I trusted that. They knew way more about it than I ever would.

The reason I wasn't told before, was because they thought I wouldn't be able to handle it. Not with everything else going on. I had to be honest, I was a little overwhelmed, but I did feel better being brought up to speed.

"I'm okay." I mumbled, but I cleared my head enough for questions to make it through. I took a breath, looking over at Alice.

"The only thing that really bugs me is that you all want to take care of this yourselves." I said, and she smiled as if she knew that was coming. "I mean, are you nuts? What the hell am I going to do if you all go and get yourselves killed? Huh? Do you even know how many are coming? That makes no sense. None whatsoever. Have you looked? Checked to see what it is that's there? I mean, whoever that's behind it really wants to do some damage, right? Well they're not going to make it easy for you-" She cut me off, covering my mouth with her fingers. I mumbled a little behind her hand before I could stop myself.

"Whoa." She laughed. "Easy, miss zillion questions."

"Is zillion a real number?" I mumbled behind her hand and she laughed.

"First of all.." She sighed, lowering her hand. "No. Zillion is not a real number. It's a term lazy people use to describe a large number of something." I frowned a little, before I got it.

"Next, there is no reason to worry here. I know you're a worrier, and you're just going to over-worry, and that's inevitable, but just calm down. Okay? Breathe."

"I can't help it." I mumbled.

"Hence, the 'it's inevitable' part." She said. "We've got this handled, okay? We're not stupid."

"I never said you were." I countered. "Just impulsive."

"We're not impulsive, either." She said. "Why do you think Emmett has been watching the news for the passed month?"

"Because he likes destruction?" I asked, looking over at her.

"Yes, but no." She said, and I laughed.

"With Jacob's help, it'll be easy." She assured me. "I promise. You'll see what I mean."

I left that room a lot heavier than I was when I went in, but I still couldn't help being grateful to know now.

I descended the stairs, surprised to find Zack talking to a group of high schoolers. I didn't recognize any of them, but I didn't feel like looking too closely.

"Hey." I muttered as I found Zack's side. "What are you doing?"

"I got bored." He replied with a shrug.

"Hey." One of the older kids pointed at me, his longer hair falling into his eyes. "You're Leandra, right?"

"Yeah." I braced myself.

"I've heard about you." He said. "I forgot you lived here with them."

"Uh-huh." I mumbled. "Let's go, Zack." I grabbed his wrist, tugging him with me as I scurried away. Much to the group's amusement.

"Are you nuts?" I asked, shoving him into my room.

"Calm down." Zack laughed. "I was fine."

"We told him to stay here." Josh muttered. He was laid across my bed, tossing a pillow in the air. Andrew sat on the floor against the other side of the bed, his head down so low, I barely saw him there.

He looked up at me, right at me and his brown eyes were really concerned. I couldn't figure out why.

"What?" I asked hesitantly.

"Nothing." He finally said. He looked back down, quickly fumbling with something before he stood up. With a sharply sinking heart, I figured out what he had been doing.

I didn't know what to do. I crossed the room and rounded the bed, looking at the floor between my bed and the bedside table. Sure enough, that notebook Alice had given me to write in had been moved from where I had put it last.

I looked sharply to Andrew, but his eyes were on the floor.

I didn't know whether to explode or leave. Keeping quiet, though, wasn't part of the plan.

"Why would you do that?" I snapped loudly, unable to help the way my voice broke.

"Whoa." Josh sat up, obviously confused as he looked back at us. "What'd you do, Andrew?" He wasn't teasing with that question. He honestly didn't know.

"I didn't even know what it was at first." Andrew defended himself quietly. "Leandra-"

" _God_.." I sobbed. "Why can't you just leave it alone?" I reached down, whipped the book off the floor and stormed toward the door. I was horrified and humiliated. I couldn't breathe. I felt sick.

Zack reached out to catch me, trying to keep me here, so I turned and slapped him across the face. He immediately let me go. I left the room anyway, just so I wouldn't have to see the look on his face.

Nobody was ever meant to read that, but I'd never had one of these before. I didn't know how closely I should have guarded it until Andrew had to go and show me.

Now he knew all the worst things about me. Things absolutely nobody else knew, and for good reason. Things that, as far as I knew, Edward had only seen glimpses of. I kept them hidden away, just so I wouldn't have to see the day when someone would find them out.

I grabbed a lighter off the snack table as I passed. My chest was tight, the mix of heartbreak and humiliation choking me, but I kept going.

"Leandra?" Jasper had noticed me walk by, despite the way my entire family had to have heard me yell at Andrew. I knew that these emotions were something he would have felt from anywhere in the house. I was shaking, I was so angry.

I made my way outside, far off to the side and to the middle of the driveway. I ripped three pages out of the book and set them on fire before I even cared to look at who followed me.

I get the burning pages go, ripping more out before I turned to look. Alice stood closest, but she wouldn't get any closer. Jasper and Carlisle stood back by the door, while Esme slowly drifted closer. Thankfully, no one else had followed, despite how I knew a lot of people had seen me.

Even looking at them wouldn't calm me down. I looked at Alice again.

"This was a stupid idea!" I screamed at her, throwing what was left of the book right at her as hard as I could. Of course she caught it.

"Leandra." Esme asked gently, stopping at Alice's distance. "What happened, honey?"

"It doesn't even matter." I sobbed, turning my back to them and lighting the other pages up too. How desperately I wished I could burn my memories away like this, just to erase them. To make it like they never happened.

I was withdrawing. Hard. I was mad again. I was hurt, and I easily remembered what Jasper had said before about Andrew turning out like everyone else. I'd never thought I could have this much anger toward him, but I didn't even know how to feel anymore.

Someone else knew. My memories of what happened, and exactly how I felt about them. Details of the fear and emotions that came from the dark that nobody else would have ever been allowed to know.

As I stood there, watching the small pile of flames at my feet, I scolded myself. I turned all that anger inside, flipping it around. Hating myself even more. Hurting myself at the same time, and I even felt the way it changed, so I knew Jasper would.

I never should have written them down like that. I never should have believed it was possible to put them somewhere else and keep them private. I was so stupid. I should have kept those thoughts and memories in my head.

I crossed my arms, suddenly cold. I knew to the others, I had to be over-reacting, but to me, and now Andrew, I wasn't. He knew how bad it was in there. He knew how big of a deal this was.

Before the flames were really out, I stomped on the pile with my bare feet, and in my anger, I didn't feel any pain.

"Let's take a walk." I jumped as Jasper finally found my side, placing his arm around my shoulders, yanking the lighter away from me at the same time, and tossing it away. I glared over at him as he started walking with me. I didn't want to walk. I resisted, but he just kept us going.

I got the hint, and just went along with it. Sobbing as I looked down at my feet against the driveway.

He was quiet for awhile, but I knew why when I stopped crying. I calmed down.

"Now." He murmured after a few minutes. "What happened?"

"Andrew read the stupid journal Alice gave me." I grumbled.

"And you're angry about that."

"Yes." I replied bitterly. "There were things in there nobody else was supposed to ever know. And now he knows them. I was so stupid. Now I can't even talk to him again."

"What exactly was written in there that makes you feel like that?"

"I can't tell you." I sighed, frustrated. "But I never should have written those things down. It was a dumb idea, and I fell for it."

"But you can't talk to him again?"

"I can't even look at him ever again." I replied. "If I can't even look at him, how can I ever talk to him?"

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad." He said quietly.

"But it was." I argued, my voice trembling with emotion. "It was so bad. I'm so stupid."

"Stop saying that." He finally said. "You're not stupid. I know you'll feel better after you talk to him."

"I can't." I immediately shook my head.

"What's stopping you?"

"He probably hates me now." I whimpered.

"Why?"

"I hate me. It'll be easy for him to hate me now."

He sighed. "So you're willing to just throw away the entire friendship, based on an assumption?"

I wanted to be stubborn. I wanted to just say yes, and be done with it, but it really wasn't that simple. I wanted to say I was tough enough to do that, to write him off as nothing but a mistake, but I couldn't honestly do that.

"It'd be easier than waiting for him to do it." I admitted, looking over at him.

"Leandra, nothing about the way you feel is easy." He pointed out. "It's very painful. I understand feeling hurt and a little betrayed, but something you'll find out very fast is that you can't make decisions like this for someone. Now, you tell me."

He stopped walking, and I did as well, waiting for him to continue.

"After everything he's done to prove he's on your side, what makes you believe that boy could ever hate any part of you?"

I didn't want to answer that.

"Give me one reason he's given you to doubt him." He pressed in my silence.

I turned slowly and sat down on a log. More like leaned my butt against it, both feet braced out in front of me while I looked down at my hands against my lap.

"You cannot just run away every time it gets hard." He stressed quietly. "That's a very lonely and exhausting life you're setting for yourself. You're entitled to how you feel, but I'm not letting you throw away a good thing just because your pride is hurt."

"It's not about pride." I countered. "I'm not proud of what I did, and it's killing me, but.. You don't even know. Nobody was supposed to find out those things. That stuff was mine."

"He knows he never should have read whatever was in that book, but the fact is, he did. Now both of you are going to have to face that, and talk about it, because if you decide to throw all that away, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life."

"I wanna be alone now." I mumbled, hugging my stomach.

"I'm sorry. I can't do that out here." We must have been too far from the house for him to comfortably leave me by myself.

"Then please stop talking." I glanced up at him, and he gave a small nod. Turning a little, pacing slowly away in a thoughtful manner. That was as close to alone as I'd get right then, but I'd take it.

I knew I couldn't hide out here forever, and I knew he was right. I'd have to eventually talk to Andrew about it, but how would I even start explaining the things he read? I didn't even know exactly how much he'd read. That mattered.

Then, there was Zack. I felt horrible now for what I did to him on my way out of my room. He'd just been trying to keep me from doing something stupid, no doubt, and I hit him.

"What do I do?" I asked after several silent minutes.

He hesitated, sighing.

"Come on." He gestured for me to stand up. Resigned, I did so. I kept my eyes down the entire way back to the house. I could tell that the party was just starting to wrap up by the way people were now gathered outside.

Nervously, I looked up at Jasper beside me. He looked at me, only giving a nod toward the house.

I found Zack and Josh first, standing around in the hallway outside my room. It comforted me that neither of them looked upset.

"Hey." Zack greeted me with a smile. "That hurt."

"I'm sorry." I immediately told him. On the verge of tears myself.

"For what? I was the stupid one that tried to stop you." He laughed. "It's okay, Leandra. Really. Thank you for not aiming at my nose."

"We beat each other up all the time." Josh explained. "I was grounded last year for whacking him with a pillow and knocking him down the stairs."

"I pushed him into the tool shed." Zack added. "He cut his arm open pretty bad on the rake." Josh raised his arm, showing me the side of it. A long scar, about five inches long, ran from his shoulder toward his elbow. It was faded quite a bit, but it was noticeable. Zack went on. "And another time, I gave him a black eye with my elbow when he wouldn't stop making fart noises. A slap isn't gonna break me."

I felt better, but I still felt bad.

"But you should probably go in there." Zack went on, looking toward my room. "Andrew's taking it pretty hard."

I hesitated, looking toward my bedroom door as well. I was honestly scared, but as Jasper had put it, what reason had Andrew ever given me before to doubt him now? Yeah, he read it, but at very least, I shouldn't have left it there. I should have put it away.

I sighed and turned, walking slowly into my room. Esme sat with him on my bed, looking up at my arrival. Andrew kept his eyes down, and I hated what I saw there. It wasn't me yelling at him that had upset him. I knew that look anywhere. I'd infected him too with those thoughts.

"Andrew?" I mumbled, hesitating, and he finally looked up.

"Leandra." He said quickly, standing up. "I'm _so_ sorry. I-I didn't mean to.. Do that. I didn't know what it was, and I guess I was curious.. I-I thought maybe it was a notebook for school that you'd lost, and I was gonna give it back to you. I only read a few pages, but I should have stopped when I figured it out. I'm so, so sorry."

"You're not mad at me? For how I yelled at you?"

"No." He replied. "You should have been mad. I'd be mad too. I have one of those too, and I'd be so mad if anyone read it without me wanting them to."

And I was going to throw it away?

"But.." I murmured. "What was in there.."

For once, he didn't reply right away. He looked down. It was clear he didn't know what to say about that.

"You guys can talk about that later." Esme suggested. "It's almost time for him to go." I glanced back at the door. Heather stood there, watching.

Instead of pressing it, I walked forward and hugged him. He sure looked like he needed it. The way he hugged me tighter than usual in return told me he thought the same thing.

"I'm sorry." I said this time.

"I'm sorry most." He replied.

I had a lot of thanking Jasper to do. I was convinced this time that it was it. That it would be too much for Andrew to handle. I was convinced this time that he'd hate me forever, that I'd disgust him.

No words could express how relieved I was. It was humiliating, but in a way, Andrew knowing those few darkest memories and thoughts, and feelings, made it a little easier on me. Like secrets I never meant to share, but he helped me hold those. Like part of those darkest memories now had a little bit of light shed on them.

At the same time, it made up my mind. I needed to talk about them. With someone. Anyone. I needed to talk about them, to get those wounds out to breathe. Keeping them hidden in shame and hatred for myself only gave them more control over me and what I did. It gave Jack more control over me.

I almost threw away one of the things I needed most because of those memories and feelings. That could never happen again. I needed to talk about them.

 **A/N: This one ran a little long too, but I don't think anyone would really mind. It seems like it was for a good reason.  
I'm sorry this is so late! I'll find a good schedule soon. Some reviews tell me to slow down, some tell me to hurry up, but I'll figure it out. I'll find that pace.  
THANK YOU! To my AMAZING reviewers! THANK YOU for giving me your thoughts! I LOVE YOU!**  
 **Chapter Nine, of course, will hold the training bit. Now, as you can probably already tell, I'll be going with the movie timeline for that, as I'm a bit rusty with my book knowledge. (*Collective horrified gasp*) I know. I'm not even sure where that book is after like three moves. Using the movie as a reference just makes it easier to visualize in the way that I need to.**  
 **ANYHOO!**  
 **Until Nine, my friends!**


	9. Chapter 9

**IMPORTANT NOTE!: No, no blood, guts, or even excessive cursing in this chapter. I know, I know. I'm disappointed too.  
** **What I wanted to say, is those of you that usually like to skip the A/N at the bottom, need to read it this time around once you're done with the chapter. At least the important note with it. Kay? Kay.**

 **Onward!**

 **Chapter Nine**

I had so much on my mind the entire night. I really didn't get much sleep, and for once, it wasn't because of my dreams.

I was stuck on thoughts of what I realized the night before. I needed to talk about the things that scared me the most, but how was I supposed to do that? They scared me the most for a reason.

I eventually decided, before trying to fall asleep again sometime passed three in the morning, that I would wait. With everything I'd learned the night before about what was going on in my family's lives, I really didn't need to be adding to that. So many more important things should come first. I wasn't refusing. Just putting it off until a more convenient time could come along.

With that decision made, I could fall asleep for a little while.

My thoughts were on the boys all through breakfast. I worried about Andrew, and what he thought now that he'd had all night to think about the things he'd read. I worried about Josh and Zack, and whether or not they would be able to keep that secret a secret.

If Jack found out they now knew, it wouldn't matter who told them. He'd come straight for me. My thoughts were now stuck on Jack. Once again, I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Leandra?" I jumped a little, shaken from my thoughts at Esme's quiet voice. "Are you okay? You've hardly eaten."

As if reminded, I looked down at my pancakes.

"Just thinking." I mumbled. "I'm kinda worried."

"About what, sweetie?" She asked, now concerned. I couldn't blame her for worrying. I still couldn't really afford to skip eating. I'd been doing pretty well.

"A lot." I sighed, laying my fork down. "Everything."

"Andrew will be okay." She assured me. "He's only worried about you."

"Josh and Zack know about Jack now." I mumbled, and she seemed surprised. "Andrew told them last night. Esme, what if he finds out? He could come here."

"I wish he would!" Emmett called from the living room, but I ignored that.

"I don't like worrying about that." I mumbled. "I don't.. Is it weird that I don't want Jack to die?"

" _What_?" Emmett called again, now surprised.

"How do you mean, honey?" She asked, much calmer.

"I don't know." I replied quietly. "I'm not.. It's not like I'm.. It's not that I wanna protect him or anything like that. I want him to go away, and I never wanna see him again. I just.. I don't want it to end like that. I don't want him to get killed because of me."

I felt so stupid, admitting that. I knew I had every right to wish that he would die. All the hell he'd put me through, and was still putting me through, I should want him long gone. I should have been begging someone to take him out.

But I wasn't.

"It's understandable." Esme finally assured me. "It's not strange at all, honey. He was the only parental figure in your life for so long. However.. Cruel he was, he was the one that raised you this far. A tie like that is difficult to break, no matter how he treated you. Even if you were attempting to protect him, it wouldn't be strange."

"I should hate him." I shook my head. "For everything he did, and I _do_ hate him, but.. What's wrong with me?" My voice trembled a little as I looked up at her.

"Honey, things like this are never black and white. It's never that simple, and in your case, there are more gray areas than there should be."

"You understand that it's a big deal." Jasper surprised me as he walked in. "A human life is certainly not something to take lightly, and you understand that, but Esme is right. It's not that simple. It's an attachment that was probably built when you were very small. When he was the only one there to provide for you."

"Attachment?" I asked, turning a little to look at him.

"Attachments are something vital to infants and toddlers." He explained. "It's something they do naturally. Attachments are usually built to a mother and a father, or another caregiver in those early first years. Should those attachments be broken for whatever reason, whether it's through death, abandonment, or in your mother's case, an illness, the child will tend to look for anything else to fill that void."

"Jack." I understood a little better now.

"From what your mother has mentioned about that point in your lives, Jack was the one that took that role when your father left." He went on. "Jack provided for you when, as time went on, your mother cared for you less often.

"The further she went from you, the stronger that attachment to Jack grew, because your instincts knew that he was all you had left. He'd been the adult there to feed you and provide some kind of protection, even while your own parents slowly abandoned you. He's been manipulating you and training you from the time you were very young. You had nobody else to show you exactly how wrong it was, and that is what's confusing you now. It's not your fault, Leandra. Being confused about this doesn't mean you're strange or weird."

"But.." I frowned. "Even.. After everything, it's still like that?"

"As you said awhile ago." Jasper replied. "He is all you had. No matter how he treated you or what he put you through, he still fed you now and then. Him and his actions were your normal until the day you met us."

That actually explained a lot.

"A lot of that guilt you constantly feel is a result of that training you were forced to endure when you were young."

"That's why it's our job to exterminate him for you." Emmett walked in as well, sitting down in the seat to my right. He sighed. "But speaking of training.." He looked at Esme. "What are we supposed to tell her when she freaks out?"

"About what?" I asked, frowning.

"We simply won't explain." Esme said. "I think as long as she doesn't ask many questions, they shouldn't have an issue with it. They'll smell her scent, know she's with us, and leave it at that." Scent. She was talking about Jacob, given the discussion I'd had with Alice the night before.

He shrugged.

"I hope you're right."

"I think it's a good idea." Jasper murmured. "This way, we know she's safe, because she's with us. Not left here alone where she can run off, and I can have the chance to work with her a little."

"Where am I going?" I asked curiously.

"You'll see." Esme smiled. "Just stay with us, and you'll be fine."

"Can I carry her?" Emmett asked almost eagerly.

"She's never been carried our speed before, has she?" Jasper asked, understanding.

"Nope." Emmett chuckled. "I'll volunteer to get thrown up on."

"Is it that bad?" I nervously asked.

"You'll be fine." Esme assured me again with a small laugh.

Carlisle descended the stairs just as I gave up on my pancakes. I really wasn't hungry. I kept my eyes down as I walked right passed him, heading for my room to get dressed. I hadn't talked to him yet about how I'd acted the night before. I knew it'd worried him. Jasper had handled it pretty well, and I hadn't seriously hurt anyone, but I still knew I should talk to Carlisle about it.

I chose one of my newest t-shirts and pair of jeans. Nobody mentioned whether or not I needed anything fancier, so that's what I picked. Given everyone else's outfits when I stepped outside, what I wore was fine.

I wasn't sure what to expect. As Jasper pointed out, I'd never been carried that far at their speed before. I yelped as Emmett plucked me right off my feet, holding me in his arms securely.

I used to have my issues with being held, but I was okay with it now.

"Leandra." Carlisle spoke carefully. "When we get there, I need you to stay close."

"Definitely." Emmett agreed, and he wasn't joking.

"Okay." I replied easily. Again, I didn't know what to expect. Emmett was convinced I was going to freak out, but what was really freaking me out, was the fact that nobody was explaining anything.

As soon as Esme joined the rest of us outside, I braced myself.

"Close your eyes, shorty." Emmett chuckled. "That might help." I wasted no time in taking his suggestion. Squeezing my eyes shut, covering my face with my hands, and turning my head to hide my face against his chest. I wanted to be sure I didn't open my eyes.

I wasn't shifted or bounced at all, only held securely. Given the firm breeze passing, I sensed we were moving, and I certainly felt it. Mainly in my head, but also through the entire rest of me.

Emmett really hadn't been kidding. I didn't dare chance a look. I really didn't want to see breakfast again. When Emmett attempted to let me onto my feet, I finally uncovered my face, but I was dizzy enough to sort of melt into sitting on a log.

"Too fast?" Emmett chuckled, watching me as I sort of folded forward, placing my forehead against my knees. I couldn't reply, completely positive that if I opened my mouth to speak, I'd puke.

Instead, I held up a finger. Indicating he needed to wait. My dizziness only seemed to get worse now that I could see, and it was slowly getting even worse.

"You get used to that." He assured me, watching me as I looked up and around. My disorientation was catching up. As if my mind suddenly really remembered how to be freak out. I lowered my head again, covering my face.

"Are you okay?" Carlisle seemed concerned, where Emmett was amused.

"I'm trying not to throw up." I admitted quietly.

"Aw, come on." Emmett muttered. "You closed your eyes."

"I don't think that matters." I replied, keeping my eyes covered. It was the type of nausea that started in my head, chilling me in an unpleasant way and turning my stomach in knots.

"Just remember to breathe." Carlisle suggested. "Deep breaths. You'll be alright."

To distract myself, I looked around. The place we'd stopped was a rather large clearing in the middle of the woods. In every direction there was more forest, but right here, the area looked like it'd been cleared of its trees rather recently.

When my stomach calmed down, and my head stopped spinning so badly, I was able to look even better.

"Leandra." Jasper called my attention. "We've come here early for a reason. You're going to learn a few things today." He paused. "Don't be nervous. Just little things."

It was a little late to tell me not to be nervous. What did he want me to learn? I stood up, hesitating when I wasn't sure if my legs would support me. When I was fine, I nodded a little. He waved me forward, and with a hesitant glance toward Carlisle, I did. Everyone else seemed to be watching, so that made me a little more nervous.

I didn't know what to expect, so as I followed him a few steps away from the group, I didn't go far.

"Just pay attention to what I'm going to tell you, and you'll do just fine." Jasper told me. "I'm going to teach you a few moves you can use to defend yourself."

Oh. That didn't sound so bad, and I could definitely use a little help in that area. I nodded again. Looking up at him, waiting for him to start. We must not have been far enough away, though.

"First lesson." He started, leading me a few more steps away. "You don't always have to bite. Always save that for a last resort." How did I know he was going to talk about that?

"But it works." I said, following him slowly.

"Yes, it works." He agreed, turning and facing me. "It's very effective, I agree, but that's where you find yourself in trouble. That is what the humans call excessive force, and that scares them. Over-doing it, as they call it."

I waited, unsure.

"You can do some serious damage with those teeth. Think of them as a weapon, and should only be used in case every other option has been taken away." He said. "For example, when you're out numbered and find yourself in the middle of a fight with other kids. You bite first, ask questions later. When your arms are pinned, you can break their hold. If you just learn to control your panic, and use your head."

"I can't help it."

"I know. I understand that. You're small, and they're much bigger than you. That scares anybody. With enough practice, you'll be able to control your panic, and that'll only benefit you." He paused, looking me over. "You're small. So chances are, your opponent will underestimate you. Emmett." He looked over. "Grab her."

"Wait." I mumbled, turning to look over, but before I could spot Emmett, he took hold of me, lifting me off my feet. Pinning my arms to my sides above my elbows.

It wasn't that scary. I only laughed, letting him hold me. He squeezed me a little, and that only made me laugh harder. I kicked my feet, twisting a little.

"Focus, please."

"Sorry." Emmett chuckled. I tried to stop laughing, and managed to bite back the next laugh.

Jasper accepted that, and stepped forward. "Okay. When you're held like this. What can you do?" I looked down. The fact that I knew Emmett wouldn't hurt me helped me concentrate better. "You're not near strong enough to break his hold, but there is something you can do. You had the right idea."

"You're pinned here." He touched my arms. "But here," He gestured to my legs. "You're still free. You've seen how well kicking backwards worked, but that can also be dangerous. If you kick wrong, or let them know your intentions, they could hurt you. Instead of aiming higher, aim for the knees. In most humans, if you hit them there, they're not going to mess around with holding onto you, or have a chance to follow you." I nodded.

"Given how fast you are, you have a lot of power in those legs of yours. Use them. Don't forget about them, or kick outwards, because that's not going to do much. When you're like this, off your feet, you're vulnerable, but not near as much as you think. Sure, your options are limited, but there are so many things you can try." He looked up. "Set her down."

Emmett did so, and I fixed my shirt a little.

"When you're here, when you're free, the one thing you want to focus on, is getting away. What I've noticed with you, is that you're torn. You're torn between getting away, and removing the threat, which is common. That's normal, but the one thing I want you to focus on right now, is getting away because you're no use to anybody injured or dead."

I hadn't even thought about it getting to that point. I gulped a little as Jasper turned me around, facing Emmett now.

"Okay. This is also common for you. Facing someone like this, they grab your arm, or your neck." He looked up, nodding and Emmett cooperated. Reaching forward, he grabbed my upper arm gently. "What can you do? Without biting?"

I looked up, not sure, so Jasper explained.

"Well, this arm is obviously not usable. But you still have everything else. You can pretty much do anything you wanted." He said. "There many options you can try. On a human, the stomach is a very vulnerable area. Aim here." He gestured to Emmett's middle stomach. "Any higher, you can kill the person. We want to avoid that for right now."

I nodded.

"The feet. Stomp as hard as you can there. Don't do it to him, because you'll hurt yourself, but on another human, that'll usually hurt them enough to release you. Again, the knees. Another thing you can try, is moving. You're still on your feet. You have mobility. They just have your arm. So. Step to the side.."

He moved me and I saw his point.

"See that? Now they're off balance. Most of the time, when they're off balance, they're focused on that, and not on the hand they're grabbing you with, so it'll be easy to break their hold now. Take your other hand, and.." He took my hand, placing it on Emmett's wrist. "Hold tight, and pull forward. Towards you. As hard as you can, but at the same time, move your arm away. They're still focused on their balance, so unpredictable movement will throw them off even more, and they'll usually let go long enough for you to move away. But you have to be quick about it."

I nodded. "Now." He moved me back in front of Emmett, taking his hand and placing it on my neck. Despite Emmett's hold being very light and gentle, I tensed hard, my nervousness spiking as I looked up at Jasper. I'd been on the receiving end of this hold more often than I could count with Jack. He obviously knew that.

I realized he was teaching me these things for Jack as well as anyone else I might come across. Even thinking about being back in this spot with Jack made that nervousness worse.

"It's alright." Jasper assured me. "Relax."

"I don't like this." I mumbled, fully intending to move away.

"This is important." Jasper stressed, and I hesitated. "Focus. Work with that fear, okay?" I took a breath, closing my eyes and nodding a little. "This is a spot you want to get out of as soon as you can. This is dangerous, as I know you know. This is not a place you want to stay. So.. What do you see?"

I paused, looking up at Emmett. Calming down a bit when he smiled at me. He had one hand holding my neck, but he wasn't touching me anywhere else.

"He's open."

"Exactly." He said. "He has you here. Leaving himself open everywhere else, but look. You can't use your teeth. What do you do?"

I swallowed nervously, unsure as I looked to Jasper again. I hated being held like this most.

"Same rules apply." He pointed. "Feet, knees, yes, even the groin area." I smirked a little. "Stomach, chest, neck, and face. On the face, nose and eyes are good targets. When someone has you here, all bets are off. You're defending your life at this point." I nodded. "So don't hesitate. Normally, to break their hold, it doesn't take much. Everywhere else is still free, so a good technique to try is.."

He took my wrist and brought my hand up.

"Hit here, first." He brought my hand firmly down onto Emmett's elbow. "With his arm extended like this, it makes it vulnerable, so hit here as hard as you can. Usually, they'll focus on that, bending their elbow which releases the tension on your neck. Now you have room to move, so use your legs. Those are still free as well." I nodded. "Knees. Knees mean they can't get up and immediately follow you. You don't want them following you, do you?"

I shook my head.

"Right. Hitting here with your hand first takes their focus from whatever you might do down here next, but you need to break that hold first before doing anything else, or he can easily hurt you. Follow me so far?" I nodded, he nodded as well and looked around.

"What about against a wall?" I asked nervously. "When I can't just back up?"

"Good question." He replied, looking to Emmett. He slowly turned me around and backed me against a rather large tree.

"Okay." Jasper moved over as well. "You're here, and he's there, but the same rules apply. As long as you're still alive, you're still moving. Being in this position is bad for your opponent as well, because you have something to brace yourself against which gives you more strength. Right now, it might seem like Emmett has the advantage, but in reality, you do. Your only goal is to move away, and your only obstacle is him. When you get free, he's still facing a wall. He has to turn around, which uses time and energy."

I hadn't thought about it like that.

"Still, the same rules apply." Jasper went on. "Elbows first. Break that hold, but he's here, blocking your escape. What do you do?" I hesitated, bringing my hand up and hitting Emmett's elbow as hard as I could with my fist. He bent it, which pulled his hand away from my neck.

Jasper nodded.

"Your focus is on getting free." He said. "Hitting wherever it'll hurt the most. When you're in this position, you want to get out of it. But again, you have to be quick about it. You can't take your time, otherwise you give him time to defend himself. Which means hurting you. Got it?" I nodded again. "My point is, Leandra, all of you can be an asset. Not just your teeth. You're very strong."

I nodded yet again.

"Alice." He called and she came over. "You're more practiced at being human, and closer to her size. I want to see this again."

Alice replaced Emmett with a supportive smile.

"Now don't hit too hard, as she's still solid as a rock to you, but show me."

I sighed and nodded.

I was obviously a quick learner. Using quick human speed and strength, she had a hard time holding onto me. I countered a lot of her grabs, getting free easier than I would have if I'd not applied what Jasper had taught me so far. I managed to jump free and dodge the last grab.

I was actually having fun learning these things. I didn't know when I'd have to use it, and honestly hoped I never would, but it made me feel better. I always made it a few jogging steps away before Jasper called me back. The goal, as he stressed, was to get away.

"Good." Jasper smiled. "Very good. You're getting this fast."

"She hits pretty hard." Alice laughed.

"Okay." Jasper continued. "Thank you, Alice, for your help." He looked down at me as she smiled, bowed and moved away.

"The next lesson I want to work with you on is practicing controlling your panic. If you allow yourself to panic, you'll forget everything I'm trying to teach you. It works the same way with anger. It clouds your mind and forces you to run on instinct. Which causes the biting, and before you know it, you've gotten yourself hurt because of an impulsive decision, when that could have been easily avoided."

I nodded, letting him know I understood.

"When we have more time, I'll work with you on that, too." He continued. "Luckily, I'm good with emotions."

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning a little.

"Fear and panic are emotions." He told me in response, and that made it clear. He wanted to make me panic to learn how to control it myself.

"I don't know-"

"I'll be right there." He said. "The more often you're able to work through it, the easier of a time you'll have when the time comes that you need to." He had a point. "Another time, though. For now, I want to work with everybody else. I think it'll be good for you to watch this as well. Obviously, there are things you won't be able to do. Regardless, watch closely."

I nodded, following him off to the side.

"You did so well." Esme smiled and I smiled a little too. I wouldn't mind learning more of that stuff. There was just something about knowing I had options to try when I was stuck like that. I wasn't totally helpless. She hugged me into her side, which I returned.

From there, I sat on a log behind where Carlisle and Esme stood watching, watching closely as Jasper and Emmett went at it. Out of the way, but still clearly able to see what was going on. A few times, it seemed like they would really hurt each other, but they always turned out to be fine.

It was only minutes into their own little sparring match that Edward and Bella arrived. Bella seemed surprised to see me there, but not as surprised as anyone else would have been. She didn't ask. I assumed Edward had filled her in.

It wasn't often that we crossed paths lately, though I knew she'd been over a lot. She'd be over when I was asleep, or in my room. Or she'd have just left when I came out. We always seemed to miss each other, but that was okay.

I stood and crossed the small clearing, and stopped beside Carlisle and Esme. Esme stepped closer, and moments later, my attention was taken by movement on the other end of the clearing. I tensed in response to what I saw coming.

My first reaction, was shock. I didn't believe my own eyes, doubting what I saw. There was absolutely no way a wolf could get that big. Much less a pack of wolves. Then came the fear. However, before it could get to be too much, Jasper eased it. I must not have had a reason to be afraid of them. These must have been the wolves Alice mentioned earlier.

Man they were huge. Easily twice the size of any horse I'd ever seen. Alice took Bella, and Esme offered her hand to me, which I took without hesitation. She eased us a little to the side, closer to the center of the group as Carlisle stepped forward. A few times, before Carlisle began to speak to them, the wolves' eyes landed on me. Particularly, the large black one ahead of the rest of them. I saw this because I was staring at it.

So what was this? Listening to Carlisle, this was apparently a training session. For everybody, except the humans, of course. I didn't know how the wolves were able to understand what they were hearing, but I didn't ask. I kept quiet. Carlisle eventually moved back, letting Jasper talk to the wolves next.

I continued to stay quiet, trying to understand without asking questions. After a moment or so, he and Emmett squared off again.

I couldn't watch the display the two of them put on. My eyes were on the wolves. It was the oddest thing to me, that they'd just stand there, watching what was going on like it was no big deal. They weren't acting like wolves would act.

"Leandra." Edward murmured, taking my attention. He gestured forward, telling me to pay attention. Telling me to ignore the huge, furry spectators.

Okay. Like that was possible.

I adjusted the sleeves of my jacket, sighing as I bit my lip. I couldn't help glancing over now and then, and a few of them seemed to be watching me with the same expression as I watched them. Like they couldn't figure out why I'd be so calm, watching like it was no big deal.

I got a little nervous the more they moved, so I drifted over to where Bella stood.

"I don't even know what's going on." I sighed, and she looked over.

"It's a long story." She replied quietly. "One I probably shouldn't tell you much of if no one else has told you." Fair enough.

"Who's Jacob?" I asked, now curious. "The guy looking for you last night. I don't like him."

She smirked. "He's not really that likable unless you know him." Across the clearing, one of the wolves huffed loudly. Just loudly enough for me to notice.

"He called me whiskey." I grumbled.

"I'll talk to him." She assured me.

Before I could reply, I was suddenly plucked off my feet and spun around. I yelped, but I immediately recognized Emmett's arms holding me. I hung on and laughed, clinging to his arms as he flipped me upside down, holding me there.

"I don't know how to get out of this one." I couldn't help laughing, closing my eyes as blood rushed to my head.

"You kick me in the face." He instructed.

"But then you'll drop me on my head." I countered as he carried me away from Bella.

"Good point." He replied. He adjusted my weight into one arm, and tickled my sides with his free hand. My laughing was now loud as I fought harder, but he held me securely. Probably so I didn't slip free and actually land on my head.

He stopped tickling, but continued to hold me like that. I was in an alright mood, so I allowed it. It was like that that I looked over, and I noticed one of the huge wolves now stood beside Bella. She wasn't scared of it at all. I looked back at the group of other wolves.

I tapped Emmett's arm, and he got the hint. Flipping me back right side up and setting me on my feet.

In a way I was tempted to go toward the wolves for a closer look, but instead, I moved the few steps away from Emmett to Esme's side. I preferred that anyway, as she hugged me. I looked up at her, and her easy smile comforted me quite a bit. She wasn't worried about those wolves either.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I nodded.

"I'm a little tired." I admitted with a sigh. I glanced back. "And those wolves are staring at us."

"Don't mind them." She replied, but I did. They didn't sit right with me, and I didn't even know why.

Before I knew it, the training session was over. I was actually disappointed that I didn't pay more attention. As the group began to disperse, I watched the wolves leave. As if they understood.

"Okay." I finally spoke out loud once they were gone. "Can somebody _please_ tell me why those wolves were so damn big?" I pointed back in the direction that the wolves had gone. Emmett laughed from across the clearing.

"They're reinforcements." Emmett answered, and I frowned. I didn't know what that meant. "It's a good thing they're here, shorty. It's fine."

"Their noses were bigger than my whole head." I squeaked incredulously. "How is it fine? If someone told me there were mutant wolves in the forest, I'd never go in there again." Once again, Emmett laughed. Louder this time.

"She's not wrong." Rosalie smirked beside him.

I couldn't really describe the mood I was in. Considering everything I was feeling, I was in an okay mood. Better than numb. Jasper must have been trying extra hard to keep everyone calm.

"He's not doing a thing, Leandra." Edward pointed out with a small smile. He stood at the back of the jeep talking to Carlisle. Carlisle's attention was on me as well.

I thought about what Edward had just said. That was just strange to me, because this was the way I usually felt around Andrew. It wasn't often that my family got to see the lighter side of me. Of course they'd see it now and then, but it'd always felt like I had to focus on everything wrong while I was home. With Andrew, I could put that stuff away.

I realized then that the roles were probably changing. Now that Andrew knew pretty much every humiliating detail there was to know about me, I had no choice but to focus on those things while I was around him, so now my family got this side of me.

"He's not?" I frowned a little, looking toward Edward. He shook his head. I looked around, but I didn't see him anywhere.

"Which means, you're doing it on your own." Edward added. Given his smile, he was appreciating the difference.

"Doing what?" Emmett asked. I didn't want to dwell on it, though. I was afraid I'd ruin it for myself. I wanted to stay light.

"Can I have a different ride home?" I asked, changing the subject. "If Emmett carries me, I'll probably puke this time."

"To make it impressive, I'll shake you like a soda can the whole way." Emmett promised.

"Please?" I laughed, looking toward Esme. "Save me."

She laughed as well. "I'll carry you."

And it was a lot easier on me. Maybe it was the way I was upright in her arms instead of laying, or maybe I was just used to it, but it was easier on me to recover from my dizziness than it had been going there.

I was let back down on my feet as soon as we were through the door, and though I still had to sit down on the couch right away, I was okay. While I recovered, I tried not to think about the reason why they were training, but I did have a question I needed answered.

"Where am I going to be?" I asked, looking up. "When you guys are busy?"

"Here." Carlisle answered. "You'll wait for us here." I nodded, biting my lip. Almost immediately, though, that answer didn't sit right with me.

Logically, it made the most sense. There weren't many other places I could go. I couldn't stay with Andrew, because that was too close to Jack for their taste, but..

"Alone?" I needed to confirm it.

"As long as you stay inside and out of sight, you'll be alright." He replied. "No one human can get in without being let in."

"Half the house is a window." I pointed out, slightly skeptical.

"Do you really think a bunch of vampires can have a house made out of regular glass?" Emmett pointed out in return.

"True." I allowed.

"Don't worry so much, shorty." Emmett sighed, falling onto the couch beside me. "We've got this handled."

"I know." I mumbled. "I'm gonna worry anyway, though. But you already know that."

"Of course." He said, chuckling.

"I just.." I sighed. "I'm nervous, though."

"It's just the stress of the situation." Carlisle assured me. "It'll pass."

"I hope you're right." I murmured, rubbing my stomach. Trying to relieve the ache of dread I had there.

This didn't feel like stress. I'd felt stress before. This felt more like a nervous sort of dread. Like knowing you had to do something you really didn't want to do. Only ten times worse than that.

"What's gonna happen?" I needed to know that too.

"It'll be over before you know it, shorty." Emmett replied. "One morning, we'll be out, but we'll be back by lunchtime."

"Oh." I mumbled. That didn't sound so bad.

I looked back up, though, as Carlisle walked from the room, a small frown in place. I recognized how he moved, though. I turned, looking back and out the window to see Heather's car in the driveway.

I watched as she got out of the car, but she was alone. Uneasy, I looked at Emmett, and he seemed to notice as well. I heard my murmured name as Carlisle answered the door to talk to her. She seemed calm, so I knew everything was fine, but it still confused me how she'd just show up without the boys with her.

"Leandra." Carlisle called for me, which really surprised me. I thought he'd just let her in. "Come here for a moment, please."

I looked at Emmett again, but he was tense. He wasn't quite glaring at the coffee table, but it was enough of a difference that I noticed.

I hesitantly stood up, making my way toward the front door. Heather watched me approach with a small smile.

"Hi, sweetie." She said as I arrived at Carlisle's side. "I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and get some lunch." I narrowed my eyes a little. That was strange.

"I think it's a good idea." Carlisle suggested, but I quickly got the feeling that it wasn't much of an option. I really didn't want to fight with anyone right then, so I shrugged.

"Sure." I mumbled, looking up at Carlisle. He obviously knew what he was doing, and he clearly trusted her. I had to trust him.

We didn't linger. Within a minute, I was in her car and we were leaving the house behind.

"So.." I mumbled, unable to help it. "Um.."

"Trust me." She replied gently. "I have a reason, but beyond that, I really do think we need to talk."

I looked down. I tried to think about what she could be upset about.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked nervously.

"No, honey." She said. "No. I just think it's about time you got to ask those questions I know you still have. I thought this was a perfect opportunity to get a little bit of privacy."

Oh. That was a surprise.

In all this time, I hadn't settled on which question I wanted to ask first. There were so many.

"So.." I mumbled. "I can ask anything?"

"Anything you want." She nodded. "I'm an open book."

"Well.." I sighed. I still wasn't sure where to start. She glanced over, probably seeing the frustration growing.

"I'll just start at the beginning, and you can go from there." She offered, and I nodded.

"Jack and I were raised in California." She started. "If you can call what we were 'being raised'. We were both born to two people that hated each other. As a result of their hatred for each other, they both hated us. When we were kids, Jack was my best friend."

That honestly surprised me, so I sat in silence.

"He was the only one that understood what I lived with." She went on. "He knew that because he was a boy, our father treated him much differently than he treated me. We both knew it. It wasn't a secret, but the one thing he did the same for both of us, is he made us fear him. Our mother was useless, and literally could not care any less than she did about what we were going through."

I couldn't imagine what that had to have been like. My mom was useless, but that was only because she was asleep through most of it. If she'd been awake and ignoring it, that would have made it so much harder.

"Anyway." She murmured with a sigh. "Jack was my best friend. He even tried to protect me a few times when our father was mad at me over something I did or didn't do. One night, when he was about your age, he was beaten so badly, he had to stay at the hospital. For about a week. I remember that night very vividly, because I lived with that guilt for so long."

She paused, but I still didn't have a response.

"That night completely changed him." She said, glancing over at me. "I know in some way he blames me for what happened, but he was never the same. We were never close again after that."

"But.." I finally mumbled. "Why weren't you guys taken away like I was? Didn't the doctors figure it out?"

"Because according to our father, Jack was hurt during a camping trip." She explained. "A fall down the side of an incline in the middle of the night. When I could, while he was awake, I begged him before our father took him to tell someone what really happened. He was the one hope we ever had, and now, I feel horrible for putting that pressure on him."

"So nobody saw." I understood now.

"Nobody saw." She confirmed sadly. "Jack's upbringing, I really think, is the reason why he is the way he is. I hold our father personally responsible for turning Jack into who he is. Behind all that anger and hatred, is a whole lot of pain he's holding onto."

I looked down. That hit home, because I knew how that felt. It hurt. There was no way to describe it, but I knew she knew.

"I'm in no way making excuses for what he's done." She added. "Whatsoever. I just know that's the reason behind it, among a lot of other things. I can't go into any details, sweetie, but believe me. He has a lot to be angry about."

"What about you?" I asked quietly.

"I've had my moments." She replied. "I've never harmed my boys in any way, and most discipline has had to be Mark's job, but I've worked very hard to get to where I am today in regards to my past. It hasn't been easy, especially keeping it from Mark, but I'm here now."

"That's not what I meant." I mumbled, and the way she hesitated told me she knew that. She knew what I meant. "Have you seen it? The dark?"

"I live with it every day, baby." She finally murmured.

"How?"

"Your life is what you make of it." She replied. "I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you have a choice. You can let your past define you. You can hold onto that pain, or you can accept it and let it go, but the longer you hold onto that pain, baby, the more time it has to hurt you. Abuse doesn't end when the situation changes. It ends when you decide that the memories can't hurt you anymore."

We were both quiet now as she pulled into the parking lot of a small diner in town. Parking right in front, turning off the car. We stayed put, though. I wasn't in any rush to get out, and she didn't seem to be either.

I just listened to the sound of the light drizzling rain hitting the top of the car.

"I think it helped that I had a goal." She murmured after several silent minutes. "From the time I was little, I wanted to help people when I grew up. I experienced the very worst life has to offer. If I could help just one person out of whatever problems they're having, then I'm happy. Jack never found that. He lost that fight. The very same fight I fight, and the same one you're fighting now. He lost it, and he feels every single second of it. It's consumed him."

I still didn't understand how she could just do that. If Jack treated me the way he treated me because of the way their dad treated him, then that had to mean that Heather had gone through a lot of the same things I did.

"I suppose that could be part of the reason why I haven't tried harder to get away from him." She added quietly. "I hate my brother so much for so many reasons, but at the same time, I can still see that boy in him that used to be my best friend, untouched by the monster we both know exists in him today. It's that part of him that I can still reach."

I looked down. I heard the quiet sadness in her voice. Like she'd been mourning the loss of someone she cared about for quite awhile. I'd wondered about it before. I'd wondered what it would have been like if I'd had to protect a sibling. I couldn't imagine it.

"Regardless of my personal feelings, though, he does not deserve to be free after what he did." She turned a little toward me. "Honey, I can imagine the hell you've been in for so long, but I'm here now to keep you going. I refuse to let Jack spread the dark. I refuse to sit back and let it consume you too."

"I think it's already starting to." I whispered, my voice trembling a little as I looked over at her. "I feel it all the time, and it never stops hurting me." I wasn't crying. Just fearful. I was so scared of the inside of my own head sometimes, and she was touching on that.

As scared as I was, she was even calmer. She smiled at me.

"I've been where you are right now." She said. "I know. Believe me, I know. It seems like you'll never be okay, but baby, you're not a lost cause."

There was so much sadness in their story, but that did nothing to erase the memories of what I went through at Jack's hands. It was a very conflicting feeling, but at least now I knew the answer to one of the questions I'd had for so long.

 _Why_? Why did Jack do the things he did?

But at the same time, it raised more questions. Why had he chosen me? If he was hurting so much, why would he want to pass that on? Then I thought about it.

It worried me to realize that I'd been doing the same thing. I'd been hurting other people because of the way I felt. The way she described him was the same way everyone else had described me. Hiding my unbearable pain behind anger and hatred.

I thought about those times, when it was hard to breathe through it. The times when I just wanted to hurt somebody because I was so mad at some stupid thing they'd done. The way I convinced myself they deserved it.

Was the darkness in me the same as the darkness in Jack?

These were very hard questions to ask myself. I didn't want to know what I was doomed to become.

"There is one more thing I want to make sure you understand." Heather told me quietly. "If you ever need to talk about anything, and feel like nobody will understand, I can assure you that I will understand, and I'm more than willing to listen."

I appreciated that, and it was definitely worth considering.

"Seriously." She stressed. "Any time. It could be three in the morning. Just call, and say let's have lunch. I'll get to you as soon as I can." I smiled a little, nodding. She did have a job, though, so I'd have to consider that, but I liked that I had the option.

"Thank you." I said, and she smiled this time. "For telling me." Despite how I didn't really like knowing. Like I noticed before, it was just nice being filled in a little more. Even if it was more to worry about.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked as we made our way out of the car.

"Sure." She replied.

"What made you come over all of a sudden?" I asked and she hesitated. "I know it wasn't just random, and I'm glad you did, but I just wanna know why."

She finally sighed.

"Jack was on his way over." She explained. Instinctively, my stomach dropped, but I calmed myself with the knowledge that I wasn't there. "Him and his lawyer. I thought you could do without seeing him, so I headed there first."

So nobody could just kill him.

"Thank you." I mumbled sincerely.

"You're welcome." She replied. "I'm just glad I had a little forewarning." Just the thought of him in my house, though, made me squirm.

"Can he just do that?" I asked quietly. "Just.. Show up?"

"He's hiding behind his lawyer." She explained. "When there's some part of the case that needs to be discussed with your parents, he can do it any way he sees fit."

I could only imagine how badly Emmett was itching to end him, especially with him just right there. It was one thing for Carlisle to know him, but now everyone else would. They would be seeing him in person, and they'd all see the face I saw in my constant nightmares.

Jack had several targets on him now, and he didn't even know it.

"Thank you." I said again, and I shuddered.

She hugged me into her side as we made our way into the diner.

We ate in almost complete silence. Even though I wasn't that hungry, she seemed to understand. Halfway through, her cell phone vibrated on the table. She picked it up, and looked at it, nodding to herself.

"It's safe to take you back now." She explained as she typed a responding text message. I deeply appreciated her efforts. I must have doubted her before, but now I saw what she was willing to do to keep me away from him. She had my back.

I was suddenly glad I decided to trust Carlisle. He obviously knew what he was doing, insisting I go with her, and I'd made the right choice to just go with it. With no explanation or reason, I trusted him and let Heather take me away. Given her rush, probably minutes before Jack got there.

I was starting to see how it would work, people working together to keep me safe, and I really liked what I saw. It comforted me. I also knew that Heather had just gained several thousand points in my family's eyes.

Because of Heather, I was safe here instead of having a nervous breakdown at home.

"Will he know it was you that picked me up?" I wondered, nibbling on a french fry.

"I'm not sure." She answered honestly. "But I don't really care if he does. Honey, I'm not afraid of him. He knows me. I laid it all out there the first night he got back. I flat out told him that I wouldn't let him torment you."

I nodded a little, but I was nervous for her. Didn't she know how dangerous he was?

I jumped a little as her phone vibrated again on the table. It kept going, though, indicating a call.

"Oh." She said easily, picking it up. "Speak of the devil." She simply silenced it and set it aside. I suddenly saw the flaw. She saw my nervousness, and smiled a little. "Don't worry, baby. He doesn't know where I am."

"He knew where I was in Port Angeles last year." I pointed out quietly, although I had to think about it. It had to be only coincidence, since his lawyer had been there way before we'd been there.

"No matter what, you'll be fine."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine." She repeated. Despite the way it started to vibrate again. We both looked down it this time.

She sighed, annoyed. Answering it.

"Jack, I told you." She spoke first. "You're not going to get your way this time."

Of course I didn't hear his response, but I carefully watched her face. I read there what he was telling her. It wasn't anything good.

"I swear to God.." She started, but didn't get to finish that. Several seconds later, she spoke again. "Do you really want to test me, Jack?" I had no idea she could make her voice sound like that. She paused again.

"If both of my boys are not at home when I get back, Jack, you'll be praying for prison. I am _not_ playing this game with you. I don't care what Mark told you. Get those boys back home _now_." I winced at her tone. "You don't _ever_ threaten me like that."

I sat silently, watching as she didn't even wait for his reply. She hung up, sighing heavily as she shook her head. I saw it there, though. Before she could hide it. She was a little worried, but also pretty mad.

"Does he have them?" I whimpered sheepishly.

"I know he'd never hurt them." She sighed again, attempting to calm her tone. "I also know he's not too happy with me at the moment. He's trying to scare me. He does that sometimes when he wants his way, but he also knows that I don't bend the way other people do."

There was no possible way I could admire her any more. She was so strong, and absolutely everything I wanted so badly to be. She wasn't afraid of Jack at all. She just went with it, and reacted when she needed to. She saw me looking at her, and she offered a small smile.

"Sometimes he just needs a reminder of who exactly he's dealing with."

Though she wasn't exactly in a rush, I felt the tension in the things she didn't say all the way back to the house. She didn't come in, which was understandable, but she made sure I made it safely inside before she left.

Before I could even fully turn away from the window, Esme was hugging me. I whimpered, returning it. I didn't know what caused this, but I was grateful for it.

"That fucker better be glad he had someone with him." I winced at Emmett's call from the living room. "He bought himself one more day to live."

"Was it that bad?" I asked quietly, pulling back enough to look up at Esme.

"Nothing we can't handle, sweetie." She sighed, hugging me again. Tighter this time. "But I am glad you're home."

I could only imagine what she meant by that. Something Jack said had obviously upset her as well as Emmett. Did that mean she doubted my safety with Heather?

"I'm fine." I told her, just enjoying the safety of her hug. "I learned a lot today." She sighed, smoothing my hair.

Although I was still worried about the similarities between Jack and me, I knew hugs like this would probably make sure I never turned into him. Hugs like this would keep me together. I really needed to focus more on that than how life was before. I really was lucky.

I'd never really stopped to think about it, but it really did seem like my family had caught me just in time. That gave me some hope, which was still a new feeling for me. Hope.

 **A/N: Weee. This took forever. Okay, now it's time for the:**

 **IMPORTANT NOTE: I have to stress this. Please. If you're looking for self defense lessons, don't rely on what I have written here. Every situation is different, and often times, circumstances are much different. I would highly recommend taking a class. This isn't the place to learn it. I decided to put this at the bottom of the chapter, so I didn't spoil anything.**

 **Okay. Important note over.  
** **THANK YOU! To my reviewers! As always, you're all SO AMAZING!  
** **Ten might take a few days, because I haven't decided where to start it yet. So many changes have come to this story, but I'll figure it out. I won't promise anything until I know what real life is throwing at me next week.  
** **Until Ten! Adios.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I had a lot on my mind.

The following day was warm, and it felt more like summer. There was no hint of rain today, and the sun even decided to show itself a few times through the high, thin clouds. I spent a lot of time outside, letting the light breeze warm my hair while I sat there in a chair on the porch, deep in thought.

I was only a few weeks away from turning eleven, and as much as I had to think about already, it made me a little sad. I didn't feel much different from where I'd been the year before, but at the same time, I knew I was.

The photo album my dad had given me the year before sat open on my lap, and I was stuck on one picture in particular. My mom stood smiling at the camera, holding me as a baby. My hands were up, reaching for a bubble floating by.

I honestly couldn't make sense of what I was looking at. I knew the woman in the photo a little better than I had last year, but she was still a stranger. I didn't know how to feel when it came to her. In one way, I was glad she made the decision she did. I was much happier here than I would ever have been with her, and she had a chance to get to know herself a little more.

I wondered if she was okay with what she'd found so far.

What were the chances I'd be dropped by both my parents? It was a little funny that the only one of them trying to get me back was the one person I never wanted to see again.

I hadn't seen my dad since I ran away from him just after Christmas. I hadn't heard much from him in the last few few months or so. Unless Carlisle or Esme were keeping him informed and not telling me. That was a possibility.

I sighed, closing the book and lightly tossing it to the side. It landed on the chair beside me, and I looked down. That must have been another gray area, because I didn't know what to do with it.

I looked back, though, at the sound of the door opening behind me. Carlisle slowly walked outside, closing the door behind him.

"I think a bad night is coming." I sighed, looking forward again. "It's been awhile, and I've been stuck in my head a lot today."

"I was actually just coming out to ask you how you're doing." He said. It'd been awhile since we'd had one of our talks.

"Not that good." I admitted quietly, keeping my eyes forward. I admired the way the trees bordered the yard like a wall.

He sat down in the seat adjacent to mine.

"I heard from Heather." He informed me gently, and I looked over. "Zack and Josh are fine." That was good. I nodded in response before I closed my eyes as another breeze carried my hair behind me.

"What's bothering you?" He asked, noticing my silence.

"A lot of stuff." I replied. "Mostly the fight. Emmett said it would be easy, but I've been thinking about it. If you guys needed to train for it, how is it gonna be easy? Could one of you guys get hurt?" I looked back over at him. I needed to know.

"There is always that possibility." He murmured. "I won't lie to you, but I have the highest confidence that this will end in our favor. There will be more of us than there are of them. Unfortunately, though, it's a problem we must take care of to keep our home and loved ones safe."

"And you can't just.. Not do it?"

"No." He replied. "I'm afraid not. If there was any other choice, we'd take it."

I hated that answer.

"When?"

"Friday." He answered. Today was Tuesday. "Tomorrow night, we'll all be going hunting."

I needed to change the subject. The _thought_ of losing any one of them threatened to flatten me under its weight. It was a fear I hadn't let myself look at yet. It was one thing to worry about them leaving, but I couldn't bear to think about actually _losing_ someone.

I couldn't make myself think about the fact that one of them might not come home. So I changed the subject.

"I think a bad night is coming." I repeated, quieter now. "I had a good day yesterday. My good days are getting better, but I think my bad nights are getting worse."

"How do you know when a bad night is coming?" Carlisle was curious.

"It's something I just feel." I replied. "I can usually tell when I wake up that the next night is going to be a bad one. I thought I was just making it like that myself, but no matter how hard I try to change it, it doesn't change. My thoughts sound different, and they move differently. I feel it everywhere, and I'm almost always right."

"Different, in what way?"

I hummed in thought. Looking for the right way to describe it.

"My thoughts go back more than they go forward." I answered. "When I'm okay, I can think normally. I can't stop it from happening, though, because by the time I notice it, I'm already back there." I hesitated. "Like something keeps pulling me back to it. I feel it, though, like watching a giant wave coming at me, but I know no matter how hard I try, I can't get away. The dreams are just a part of it. I hate it so much, but I have to sleep some times."

He was silent for a moment, so I took a deep breath and held it for several seconds, sighing it out.

"I'd give anything to make them stop." I admitted, quieter now as I rubbed my eye tiredly. I hadn't gotten that much sleep the night before, which he was fully aware of. It wasn't that bad, a rather normal night of two nightmares, but I could feel it today because of my lack of sleep night before last.

"Leandra, I want to revisit the option of using a sleep aid." He finally said, and I glanced over. He'd brought this up before. Medication to make me sleep. I'd give anything, but I wouldn't do that, because I knew it wouldn't solve anything.

"I really believe that when we find the right dosage, it'll only help you."

"That won't work." I immediately dismissed. "I don't like them anyway."

"I know you don't." He replied. "But I worry about what the stress of inadequate sleep is doing to you."

"I sleep sometimes." I mumbled. "I don't like them."

I was firm about that. I wouldn't take any, and aside from forcing me or tricking me, there wasn't anything he could do to change that. He knew why. He knew I'd rather suffer every day of my life than take something that would trap me asleep.

"I know you don't." He repeated. "However, something needs to be done soon. You've had problems sleeping since I've known you, and that is impacting you in a very negative way."

"I've had problems sleeping my whole life." I pointed out firmly, looking over at him. "I won't take it."

"After all of this is over, I want to talk more in depth about this." He said. Meaning, after the fight is over. I shrugged. My answer wouldn't change.

I hated it when he pushed this. I hated it, so whenever he did, I usually became less of an open book and more of a brick wall. He knew that too, but some part of him couldn't help it. Probably the doctor part. Or the concerned part.

I'd just closed that open book. He knew me well enough to know it. Any more questions would probably be met with silence, so he didn't try. I looked over at him, and I hated the way I was. He was only trying to help me.

"Promise me?" I asked quietly. "Promise that you'll come back?" In my voice, he knew me well enough by now to hear just how scared I was. He heard just how much I needed him to promise me. I needed him to promise. I just needed him.

"You have my word, Leandra." He replied gently. "We'll come back to you."

Oddly, that made me want to cry, but I managed to hold it back as I nodded.

I held it back, for the most part, all day. For as long as I could. I hadn't been getting hardly any real sleep for the last few days, and it was catching up to my permanently exhausted mind.

All through dinner, and the hour I lasted before bed, I braced myself. A headache had taken shape sometime just after lunch, and by the time dinner was over, it was bad enough to send me to bed early.

I knew Carlisle was taking my heads up earlier seriously, so I knew he was just waiting for the moment when he'd have to come into my room to pull me out of whatever trap my mind had pulled me into while I was asleep.

I decided to go to bed early. A decision I quickly regretted. My dreams were different tonight. They scared me. It was like I was dreaming about something I hadn't seen before, but I recognized it as if I'd seen it a million times.

I could see his eyes. Jack, his face right in front of mine. It was so real, I could reach up, touch him and probably feel it just like I'd feel it any other time.

The way he glared into my eyes, the way he always had was burned into my memory, but it was different this time. The words he said to me were different. I couldn't completely understand the words that he said, as I had the heavy, suffocating fog of sleep over my mind, but I knew they were different. His voice wasn't the same. Very similar, but somehow, different.

It was darker, heavier. Like I couldn't breathe. Something I'd never forget. I couldn't breathe without smelling him. I couldn't ignore those words, even if I couldn't hear them.

His hands held my head between them. Holding, squeezing painfully, pinning me and I was petrified. I sensed the danger through every part of me, just like I always did, and I couldn't look away. Fear stole my breath, and I felt seconds from either passing out, or throwing up. The crushing weight of both terror, and hopelessness speared me to the spot.

There wasn't anyone to save me. Again, I was alone, and what Jack had in mind, I read loud and clear in those eyes. I felt every second, the way his fingers knotted in my hair.

Just like so often before, I woke up panicking.

Literally fighting free from the weight of sleep, fighting whoever had woken me. A deep gasp just barely audible through the sound of my heart pounding in my ears was still echoing when I sat straight upright. I fought hard to catch my breath, like I actually hadn't been breathing.

I felt strange. I looked around myself in my room, but not a single tear fell. This dream had been intense, and new in _so_ many ways, but I wasn't crying. I wasn't crying, but I could easily tell it wasn't Jasper's doing, keeping my emotions at bay. I knew the difference.

My breath stuck, like breathing glass in my throat. Even causing me pain with the attempts. It was audible. I was awake, but I still heard his whispers. I still felt his hands. I still felt the pressure of his grip on my head.

How could it be possible? How could my mind do that?

Just a dream, I had to tell myself. It was only a dream. I had to look around before I would even fully believe I was still in bed. I had lost my grip on reality for a second.

I finally remembered that there was someone with me. It was Esme, with Carlisle standing behind her. I wasn't sure I liked it when I reacted a way I never had before. As I caught my breath, I looked toward my window.

Outside, the rain dumped. Loudly pouring off the ledge over it. I wanted that, so I climbed off the bed, and crossed the room to open the window. I ached. I hurt in the worst ways, but I still wasn't crying. I took a second at the window, appreciating the smell of it and the way the breeze cooled my overheated skin.

"Are you okay, honey?" Esme asked gently. I was having some trouble. I didn't know. I knew she could read my confusion on my face, which was probably what prompted her to ask.

"What is it, Leandra?" Carlisle asked, concerned as well. I looked at him next. I didn't even have the words to describe what this was, so I just returned to my bed and laid back down silently. It was weird for me not to talk, especially after a dream like that, but I didn't know what else to do. I honestly didn't know how to explain it.

Maybe I'd just reached some kind of limit. Maybe I finally just realized it was pointless to react? I doubted that. The fear was still there. I closed my eyes as Esme reached over and gently smoothed my hair away from my face.

Now more concerned, her hand returned to my forehead. Her hand felt colder than usual, so I knew what she was worried about.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked. I took a breath and nodded. Outside, I felt too warm. Inside, I was frozen.

Despite the way I ached, I had to go back to sleep. I couldn't stay awake like I wanted to. My head hurt too much to stay awake. Only to wake up twice more during the night, in a similar way.

Still no tears. I wasn't even tempted to cry.

My dreams were doing something else weird, too. Every other bad night I'd ever had, the nightmares would change. Tonight, though, every one of them were the same. The same pain, the same scenario.

I felt like complete crap the next morning. I felt sick with emotion, and it wasn't easing. It had been a long time since I'd felt this bad. I honestly wasn't sure what to make of it anymore. I was stuck in a self-inflicted numb, and the numbness made me a lot more tempted to just accept whatever fate I had.

"Leandra."

"Huh?"

I hadn't even noticed Esme had been trying to get my attention. I still had that headache that had sent me to bed the night before. It wasn't getting any worse, but it wasn't getting any better.

"Aren't you hungry?" She prompted, and I looked back down at my bowl of cereal. It was still untouched.

"Not really." I admitted, sitting back.

I didn't eat, yet again. I knew I should, but I honestly didn't feel hungry.

After giving up with breakfast, I flopped back onto the couch with a heavy sigh. They didn't get it. I almost couldn't imagine it. How much worse things could be than they were before. I had to face that now.

I was watched _very_ closely all morning, and I knew why. They were worried about me, but somewhere in my mind, I knew that was a bad thing. I hadn't said anything yet, choosing to stay silent about the dream and how badly it had cut me.

I had to consider, though. What if Carlisle was right? What if so many nights of not sleeping that good _was_ impacting me? His concern, though, was part of the reason why I didn't say anything about it.

Something must have changed, though, because Alice landed beside me on the couch. I didn't look over.

"Perk up." Alice smiled. Was she kidding?

Right, I thought. I'll get right on that.

"At least look a little less like your life is over." Alice added. "Everything will be fine." Was that how I looked?

"I'm not falling for it this time." I sighed. "Save it."

"Shorty." Emmett murmured, leading Carlisle down the stairs. "Don't be mean." I closed my eyes. He was right. It wasn't Alice's fault.

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "I'm just.. Edgy, I guess."

"It's okay." Alice replied, hugging me. "I'll forgive you after shopping next weekend." Another one?

I whined, curling tighter into my ball. "I can't think about that right now."

"You'll have fun." She assured me. "You'll see."

"Right now, I think I'd rather be eaten alive by weasels." I mumbled into my ball, and that got a chuckle from Emmett.

"Our little ray of sunshine." He laughed beside me. "Alice, I don't think trying to cheer her up is working."

She wasn't done trying, though.

"Well, if you don't want to go shopping, what do you want to do?" Be left alone?

I shrugged and she sighed. Hugging my curled ball into her side.

"This really doesn't suit you." She pointed out. "Come on. Cheer up." I honestly didn't care if it suited me or not. This was the way I was.

"I would if I could." I replied. "But I can't."

"Nothing is impossible." She countered. "Come on. If you could do anything at all, or go anywhere at all, what or where would you want to do or go?"

I sighed, slightly annoyed. "I don't know. I don't think about stuff like that. I don't have time to think about stuff I want, or places I want to go. I think about too much stuff already." I paused, really thinking about it. Did I even know myself?

"Okay, I want one thing, but I know it's impossible."

"What's that?" She asked, interested.

"I want everything to just stop." I said, closing my eyes. "I just want one day where I don't have to think about anything. Just.. Nothing. Where I don't have to be scared.." I trailed off. She hugged me tighter then.

"I will find some way to make things easier on you." She promised, pulling back. "I will." I sighed, nodding. I doubted it, but it didn't hurt to let her try. If it made her feel better. She stood up, and I watched as she looked to Jasper. He took the hint, and followed her from the room at what could only be described as a determined pace.

"I wish everyone wouldn't worry so much about me." I admitted. "I'm okay. I swear."

"That's why we're worried, shorty." Emmett pointed out quietly. "You're too okay. You're not usually like this after a night like last night."

"Well, I'm fine." I replied. "You guys have more important things to think about." I paused, looking over. "Was Edward here last night?"

"No." He replied, suspicious now. "Should he have been?"

"No." I repeated. "It's nothing. I was just wondering."

"Edward will be here tonight." Carlisle added, and I nodded. I appreciated the heads up. I liked knowing when I wasn't going to be alone in my head. It wasn't even an embarrassment anymore, oddly enough. I was used to it.

"Why haven't you eaten?" Carlisle asked, and I looked down.

I shrugged. "I'm not really that hungry."

"I'd feel better if you eat something." He replied. I knew that.

"Let me try." Emmett suggested. "I can usually get through to her." He wasn't wrong. Carlisle nodded a little, and turned. Leaving him to it.

I sighed, shaking my head a little. Nothing could be done. It was just Emmett and I sitting there. I kept my eyes down, and I knew he watched me. I expected him to start pressing right away, but after a minute or two, Emmett spoke.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

He must have seen I needed a distraction instead of pressure. Maybe it could work.

"Make it a good one." I said, and he grinned.

"Any types you're against?" He asked, and I knew I should be suspicious that he had to ask, but I just shook my head.

"Anything that'll keep my attention." I told him, and he gave me a nod.

Emmett, still grinning to himself, chose a movie. I didn't care what it was at first, but it definitely held my attention.

As it turned out, I really should have cared, given how scary it was. More jumpy-scary, but that wasn't all. It wasn't about realistic things. It was about ghosts and a _very_ haunted house, but I watched it.

About halfway through the movie, I looked over and up at Emmett.

"Can that sort of thing really happen?" I asked quietly.

"Don't tell me you're scared." He smirked.

"No." I muttered defensively. "I'm not scared. I'm just curious." I paused, looking to the TV again. "That's not real. It can't be."

"Of course it's not real, shorty." He told me, and I glanced up in time to see his smirk widen. I didn't like that. It unsettled me.

"I mean, you're real." I went on. "Why can't that be?"

"Okay." Emmett muttered. "I will say for sure that I've never seen anything like that." That was a little more believable.

"And how long is 'never'?" I asked.

"You mean, how long have I been a vampire?"

"I guess."

He laughed. "I've never seen anything like that in over seventy years."

"You're old." I frowned over at him.

"Well, thanks for that." He muttered, shoving me over gently.

"If she thinks you're old, I wonder what she'd say about Carlisle." Rose joined us for a moment, standing beside the couch.

"Why?" I asked. "How old is he?"

"Almost three hundred and fifty." Emmett answered.

"No." I immediately said. "There were _people_ back then? Besides cavemen?" He laughed.

"Yes." Emmett replied. "But next time you see him, ask Carlisle if he owned a dinosaur as a pet. He'll really appreciate that."

"I'm not going to ask him that, grandpa." I grumbled, only to gain a light tickle in response to the name. I squirmed away with a small laugh. "Doesn't it bother you to be so old?"

"Do I look that old?" He asked.

"No."

"Then I'm not bothered." He smiled a little. "Now watch your movie." Taking his advice, I gave him a look before looking back to the TV.

I did eventually have to admit to myself, though. This movie was seriously freaking me out, but distracting me quite effectively. I didn't like the thought that people could still be around after they died. Vampires were different. They were there. I could touch them, but ghosts were creepy.

Though the ending of the movie was nice, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Well, I figured. He'd done what I asked. He'd made it a good one.

I made Emmett pick another movie for after lunch. I still didn't have much of an appetite, but I knew it made Esme feel better to see me at least try to eat. It was the least I could do. I did manage to take a few bites, though. That was effort on my part.

"We'll be going hunting tonight, Leandra." Esme informed me. "Edward will be here, if you need anything." I nodded, letting her know I understood.

"Carlisle told me." I replied, stabbing a lettuce leaf with my fork.

"Bella will be here too." Alice added, joining us. "I would try not to need anything for a little while." Esme gave her a look.

"Ew. I won't." I muttered, and Alice smirked. "They won't even know I'm here."

"We'll be gone all night." Esme continued. "And go straight to the clearing afterwards." I looked up. That was news. I hadn't heard that part before. That part bothered me.

"I won't see you before the fight?" I asked, disappointed. The worry about Jack suddenly moved to the back of my mind, this worry coming forward at the knowledge of exactly how close this fight was. I must have been in some kind of denial before. That denial had cleared now.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." She replied. "This is the easiest way."

"How is that easiest?"

"We don't want to risk it, honey." She answered.

"I thought I still had more time." I whined. "How long am I gonna be alone?" Why was I getting the feeling that plans had changed? It suddenly seemed more complicated than anyone had let on. Maybe _now_ would have been a good time to tell them about my dream? I wasn't sure. It probably didn't even mean anything.

"You'll stay upstairs the entire time." She stressed gently. "We'll hunt tonight and most of tomorrow. The newborns are arriving very early on Friday. We need to be as prepared as we can."

"That long alone?"

"Edward will stay as long as he can." She said. "He and Bella have their own job to do. As long as you follow our instructions, nothing can harm you."

"We need to trust that you'll listen." Alice added quietly.

"What if you don't come back?"

"We'll come back." She assured me. "It'll be really simple, Leandra." I knew no amount of asking would keep them here. No amount of tears could make them stay. I knew that, but I couldn't help it.

"You have to." I mumbled. "You have to come back, okay?"

"We will." She assured again, reaching forward and smoothing my cheek in a very comforting gesture. "Please don't worry." I reached up, grabbing her hand and holding onto it with both of mine.

"I can't help it." I admitted. "I don't want to live with my dad. I want to stay here."

"We'll be fine, Leandra." Alice replied. "I promise." I was on the very verge of panic, continuing to fearfully cling to Esme's hand.

"Don't go." I asked anyway. They had to go, and I knew that, but that didn't stop me from begging. I wasn't okay with this. How could they be so calm about this? I was so sure I'd never see any of them again, completely freaking myself out. Once that denial was out of the way, I didn't care so much about Jack anymore.

There was no amount of assurance they could give me to make it better.

"Leandra." Alice tried again. "Remember how much you worried the first night you had to spend over at Andrew's house?"

"Yeah." I mumbled.

"It'll be just like that." She replied. "Exactly like that. You'll stay here. You can even hang out in my room if you want. It has the best view." She smiled, but I wasn't falling for it. "Maybe watch a few movies, and go to sleep. We'll be back by noon on Friday, at the latest."

When she put it like that, it was a little easier to handle. I didn't accept it, but I could handle it. This would be the longest I'd be alone here since they got back, but as Esme said, as long as I did what they said, I would be fine. I remembered how hard of a time I had getting into this house when they were gone. The doors and locks held solid, so I knew even Jack couldn't get in.

I looked over as both Emmett and Edward entered the kitchen, where I still held Esme captive. Emmett spoke up.

"If it helps, just think of the fight as an extension of the hunt we leave for tonight. We're out hunting. That's all we're doing, shorty."

I took a breath, but forced myself to nod. It was the only choice I had.

From there, I considered ways to possibly make them stay. Maybe if I 'accidentally' hurt myself pretty bad, they wouldn't go? Jumping out a window sounded like a good idea. A lot less painful than getting myself hit by a car, but I wasn't brave enough to try anything like that.

Edward gave me a look, so I squashed those thoughts.

I just really didn't want them to go. I knew why. They were leaving me, and I'd be alone tomorrow. I had strict instructions to stay upstairs, but I knew that would only get me so far. What about dinner? I probably wouldn't be that hungry, but still. I doubted they wanted me cooking something myself.

"Esme's prepared something for you to reheat." Edward answered that one. Dammit, they'd thought of everything.

It was hard for me to say goodbye to them that evening. Knowing I wouldn't be seeing them until Friday, after the fight. Alice was the first to hug me, Jasper right behind her. I wouldn't try hugging him, but I knew he knew how badly this was bothering me.

I wasn't going to make it through this without crying. I barely managed to stay composed through hugging Esme, but I was failing fast as I stepped forward, and hugged Carlisle as tight as I could, which he returned. I fought, but gave up as the first three tears tumbled down my cheeks. Quickly following that defeat, was a round of sobs that wouldn't be contained.

"I feel sick." I sobbed. "Maybe you should stay."

"You'll be okay." He told me gently, no doubt knowing exactly what I was doing. I cursed myself for using the 'I might throw up' tactic multiple times before.

"Don't go." I cried again, actually clinging to him.

"I know." He sighed, and eventually lifted me. "I know.." His quiet voice did nothing to soothe the pain I felt now, or the fear building in my stomach. My cries only intensified, and he held me tighter in response.

I couldn't make myself say the words. The parting words that meant he wouldn't be there to talk to me or wake me up from a nightmare. I couldn't say anything for a solid minute.

"Stay safe." I told him when I could. "Please."

"Don't worry about me. Or anybody else but you. We'll be fine. I promise you." I nodded again, taking a deep breath. "No matter what you did, or what you ever do, we'll always be here." It was like he knew what to say. What words I'd need to hear to make it through this goodbye and hold on until Friday.

I took a deep, very deep breath and held it. Fighting back more sobs as I held my breath before I let it out shakily. He let me down onto my feet as soon as I was ready.

As soon as I stepped back, I was plucked up off my feet from behind. I glanced back at Emmett, giving him a look through still-falling tears as he held me now. Almost immediately, he plopped me lightly onto my back on the couch. I laid there for a few seconds.

"We'll be back, shorty." Emmett chuckled. "You worry way too much for a kid your size." I kicked his arm. His expression dropped in what looked like surprised sadness, but I knew he was just trying to make me laugh. "Ow. You kicked me."

"You picked me up." I accused right back.

"Because it was easy." He countered, dodging another kick.

As fun as that brief moment was, I was still sad. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't help it. They had no idea how much they all meant to me if they could keep telling me not to worry.

"We'll be fine." He told me, seeing the change in my expression. "You'll get a rematch."

"Be careful." I plead quietly as I stood back up.

"You have nothing to worry about." Esme assured me, hugging me again. I clung to her briefly once more. "I know it's hard for you, but please try not to worry about us. We'll be just fine." I was more scared about this than I would ever admit, but I knew they knew it anyway.

"Be good for Eddy." Emmett told me. "He's not the best babysitter in the world." Edward chuckled from his place in the chair.

"And you are?" Edward countered, and I found that amusing.

"I'll be a pain in the ass." I told Emmett. "Just like you." He grinned.

"The last thing we need is another Emmett." Edward chuckled.

"Good deal, shorty." He replied, ignoring Edward and patting my head lightly. Unable to help it, I hugged him as tightly as I could. He sighed sadly, his hand gently rubbing my back. "Aw, shorty.."

I knew then that my begging and tears were wearing on him. Almost right from the start, Emmett had been one of the most supportive and best friends I had here. He hated to see me cry, and would be the first to bulldoze whatever reason I had to be sad with humor and distractions.

I began to really understand how big of a deal this was when he still had to leave. It was more important than giving in and staying behind with me. It was more important than just me, and I was making it harder for him.

At that realization, I forced myself to let him go. Squeezing my eyes shut, I sat back down next to Edward, watching the others leave while they could.

Esme and Carlisle hesitated by the door.

"She'll be alright." Edward assured them now. I knew then that they were just as worried about me as I was about them.

"No I won't." I mumbled to myself.

Ignoring that, Edward spoke again. "I'll keep an eye on her for you tonight."

I hated watching them leave, too. It was hard to stay quiet, and not come up with every tiny excuse to call them back. I almost did, but I kept it to a quiet whimper, watching the spot where they'd disappeared.

It hurt more than I cared to admit to watch them both leave. I knew that had more to do with the fear of abandonment, but a good amount of that was worry for their safety. I wanted them to come back more than anything.

"You're being very mature about this." Edward pointed out, and I just sighed, calming down. It wasn't by choice. He nodded. "I know, but very mature nonetheless."

"When does Bella get here?" I asked, sniffling, and he smiled a little.

"In about an hour." He replied, and I nodded.

"I'll make sure I'm out of the way by then." I murmured. "Sorry you're stuck here with me." He looked over, smirking.

"Why?" He asked, confused.

"I know you two would probably wanna be alone." I reasoned quietly. "I won't bug you."

"Exactly what do you think is going to be going on?"

"Uh.." I muttered, glancing over. He found the answer in my mind, despite how I shied away from the thought.

"No." He said immediately, shaking his head. "Definitely not."

"Isn't that all guys do with their girlfriends?" I frowned. "That's all guys want, isn't it?" At least that's what I gathered from my mom and her boyfriend.

"Not the right guys."

"And where are those?"

"It bothers me that you know about that." He admitted, his eyes on the TV.

"Everybody knows about that." I countered. "And I'm not stupid."

"I never said you were." He sighed. "But no. That won't be happening."

I shrugged a little, looking to the TV also. That did make me feel a little better. Uncomfortable, but a little better.

"And to answer your other question, they're all around you." I frowned a little. "If you want an example of a right guy, look around. If you're ever wondering how a lady is supposed to be treated, take a look."

I understood what he was talking about then. How Emmett treated Rose, or Jasper treated Alice. They definitely didn't act like that was the only thing on their mind. Emmett did now and then, but that was just him showing off. I knew that, and that it made Rosalie feel better about herself.

"You're observant." Edward smiled a little.

"I've been told." I replied.

"No, there is more to a relationship than.. That." He told me. "It's about who you want to see beside you every moment you exist."

"I'm ten." I reminded him, looking over at him and he chuckled. "Tone it down a bit."

"I suppose you do have a few years to learn, don't you?" He laughed, and I shrugged a little.

"If I even do at all. I don't ever want a boyfriend." He looked over. "I don't need one."

"I sincerely hope you change your mind one day." He told me. "What you're saying sounds like a very lonely life. Believe me."

"So?" I shrugged again. "Maybe I'm supposed to be alone my whole life."

"Nobody is meant to be alone." He replied. "I firmly believe there is someone out there for you. If I could find mine, believe me, someone like you will find hers."

"Someone like me?" I asked, looking over. "What do you mean?"

"Someone who's seen nothing but the worst in people." He explained, not at all put off by my obvious offense. "Someone who deserves nothing but all the love and kindness in the world. Somebody out there will show you just how priceless you are. More than we ever can. They'll look beyond your flaws, and prove to you that you're worth it. They'll be patient, and they'll make you smile."

"Oh." Was all I said, looking back to the TV with a sigh. "Probably not."

I really didn't want one. I didn't even want to imagine having one. It bothered me on a deeper level than I was used to.

"Well, whatever. I'll still stay out of your way." I hesitated for a moment. "That talk took a weird turn."

"My, you sure are amusing." He pointed out, chuckling. "Very entertaining."

"So I've heard." I repeated, laughing along with him. "If you spent longer than thirty seconds around me, you'd know it."

"That certainly came out of nowhere."

"I'm good at that." I replied. "How do I keep surprising _you_?"

"You don't always say what crosses your mind." He chuckled. "Sometimes, you think something, but say something completely different. It's the oddest thing."

"If I just said everything I thought about, I'd probably be in a whole lot of trouble." I muttered, crossing my feet in front of me.

"You have a strong filter." He agreed. I knew what that meant.

"Sometimes." I added, and he smirked. "I swear. You won't even know I'm here. Well, you might, but Bella won't."

"Well, that's not very fair to you, is it?"

"Life isn't fair." I said. "I'm proof enough of that, and I'm pretty used to things not being fair."

I sighed, leaning back with a huff.

"This sucks." I muttered, kicking the coffee table. "I hate those stupid newborns."

"I can't help agreeing with you on that one." He replied. "I'd offer to take you with me, but I'm afraid it may be too cold for you, and I'll most likely be pretty distracted."

"Why not just stay here with Bella?" I knew about his plan to take her elsewhere during the fight.

"It's a little complicated." He admitted, and I sighed. I knew that meant that he didn't want to get into the full explanation. Either that, or he was doubting my ability to understand, which I doubted.

"Definitely not." He answered my thoughts. "I know you can understand, I just don't want to give you more to worry about." That made sense. "Your mind is already extremely burdened."

"I've gotten better, haven't I?" I asked quietly.

"In a way, yes." He allowed. "But Carlisle is concerned that it's all only being suppressed."

"What's that mean?"

"That you're burying it, instead of dealing with it." He explained. "Working through it by talking about it is the only way. The fact that it's so easy for you to choose to not talk about things worries him."

"It's not like that." I sighed, looking down. "I know I should talk about it, but I'm afraid."

"You don't have to be afraid of Carlisle." Edward murmured.

"I'm not afraid of him." I shook my head. "I've never had anyone try to teach me the way he does. I've never had anyone treat me the way he does. Maybe I just don't know how to be what he thinks I can be. I'm afraid to try, because I know I don't deserve it, and I'll just let him down."

"You're afraid of disappointing him?"

"Not just him." I explained. "Everyone, but him most. All I know how to be is worthless. I don't know how to be worth something. I'm afraid of getting used to it when I know he could change his mind about me any time."

"Leandra," He sighed. "That isn't possible."

"Everyone keeps saying that." I sighed as well. "But it is. He's such a good person. He helps people when they need help. He cares about people. I'm the opposite of that. I hate people, and I hurt them."

"You'll learn."

"But what if I never do?" I asked. "What if I'm stuck this way? I don't ever want him to give up on me, but at the same time, I know he should. I think he's wasting his time."

"Carlisle has never given up on anything." He told me. "And I can honestly say that he wouldn't start with you. Is this why you refuse to trust him completely?" I nodded a little.

"I'm afraid of how much it'll hurt when he finally sees what I see in me." I muttered. "I want to trust him, but I can't."

"And all he wants is for you to see what he sees in you." He pointed out. "Give him an honest chance."

"And what if you're wrong?"

"But what if I'm right?" He'd turned it around. "I know I'm right. There is absolutely nobody better as a father figure than Carlisle." I didn't know how to reply, looking back down. From what I'd seen, he was right, but that didn't mean I wanted to set myself up for disappointment later on.

"You're guarded." He added. "You've been guarded since we met you. Even after everything Carlisle has done for you, you're still doubtful and afraid. Whether you're aware of it or not, you're afraid of him, purely because you've never come across as good of a man as he is. You're afraid of being hurt by him in all the ways Jack has hurt you."

"No." I denied instantly.

"The tone of your thoughts don't lie." He replied easily. "Nobody blames you, Leandra. Nobody blames you for your trust and abandonment issues, as they're understandable after growing up with Jack, but you are afraid of him. Just like you're afraid of me. You don't even realize it, but your instinct is to be afraid. To expect having to fight for your life, or to need to escape."

I winced, looking down. I absolutely hated that he was right. I wouldn't have said that I was afraid exactly, but slightly nervous. Hardly noticeable by now around my family, but obviously noticeable enough for Edward to notice.

"It's your instinct to be afraid, and to see every man as a potential threat to you," He added. "And we're no different. Bottom line, that's what it comes down to. I'm not saying that your reasons for choosing not to trust Carlisle are wrong. There's just more to it than that. You're only trying to protect yourself in every way possible, but I know it'll get a whole lot easier when you let yourself see Carlisle for who he is."

He'd certainly given me a whole lot to think about. Was I really afraid of everyone the way he said I was?

"You are." He confirmed quietly. "Emmett, Jasper, me. That fear is still there. Just not as strongly as you're used to."

It must have been a part of the whole subconscious thing that was mentioned the other day. Instinct came from there, so maybe I had no control over it.

"Exactly." He said. "And all we're trying to do is fix that instinct. Carlisle most of all, because of the role he plays in your life now. He's in charge of you, making him your official father, and that scares you."

Maybe that was the reason why I still clammed up when Carlisle suggested the sleep medication. I hated it.

Edward went on. "The role he plays in your life now.. That tells that instinct that you need to be guarded. Expecting, anticipating. Waiting for him to prove that instinct right every second you're around him, but I can guarantee that you couldn't be more wrong. It'll just take time."

He didn't seem mad at me while explaining all this, but it bothered me to have this pointed out to me. I didn't want to be afraid of them. How fair was that to them? They'd done nothing to wrong me. Just the opposite. I'd known I hated all other men in general, but I never realized I still distrusted my family that way.

"It's involuntary." He assured me. "It's nothing you consciously choose to do. Next time Emmett picks you up or hugs you, pay attention to your reaction. Next time Carlisle or Jasper approaches you, pay attention to the way you tense."

"I guess I'm not as observant as people say, huh?" I mumbled quietly, keeping my eyes down on my hands rested in my lap.

"It's something we've all noticed." He replied. "It isn't just me. You want so bad to trust Carlisle, but that instinct is holding you back from building that trust, and it's killing you. You want to. You do, and we all see it."

"Everyone but me." I pointed out. I felt horrible.

"You're getting better." He assured me. "There has been a lot of progress."

"How do I make it stop? It has to stop."

"Leandra, I'm not going to pretend to be the most educated when it comes to things like this." Edward replied. "But I can tell you this. Looking through your memories, your dreams and your thoughts, they tell me that you need to look closer at them." I blinked in surprise.

"Why the hell would I want to do that?" I asked, shocked.

"Something about them is bothering you." He said. "Not just the fact that Jack did those horrible things. That's not all there is, and you need to figure out what else is there. Your dreams are very deep, Leandra. There is more there than you're willing to see. Something you're denying yourself to see. Nobody can blame you, but until you discover what that something is, I think you're going to keep seeing these things and taking those steps back."

I knew he was right, of course. That's what bothered me the most about these dreams. There was always something there when I woke up, but I didn't know what that something was. Something that bothered me a lot about it, other than the obvious.

"How can I figure out what that is?" I asked, looking up at him.

"That's up to you." He admitted as he stood up. "I can't find the answer for you. I'm not that good. I only see what you show me." I smiled a little, nodding. He told me that all the time.

"You saw him." I pointed out, and he nodded. "At school that day."

"And I admit, I got quite a lot from his thoughts in those thirty seconds, but I don't need knowledge of his thoughts to know what kind of person he is." I stayed quiet, curious, so he continued.

"You can compare Jack to a rattlesnake." He said. "Should he bite, the damage he does long outlasts his presence. You've noticed this." I nodded a little, looking down. "He's bitten you, Leandra. You have that poison inside you, and no amount of covering it up will help you."

Hearing it put that way struck something with me. That was the hardest thing to hear.

"I know." I finally replied. "Believe me." I did know, but hearing it from him was different than hearing it all the time from myself.

"You can't run from it." He went on. "You can't fix it by holding back. Maybe looking closer at everything he's left you with will help you. The truth is, there is only so much we can do for you if you choose to ignore it." As if involuntarily proving his point, I really didn't want to talk about this anymore.

What was I supposed to do when I had no idea how to talk about it?

"I can help you." He offered. "But I won't admit these things for you. The only way to really get it out is for you to face them enough to talk about them."

"No, I get that part." I said. "But.. Where do I even start? It's all just noise."

It really was. When my thoughts got too close to those thoughts and that darkness, it just turned into constant nagging noise in the back of my mind. Underneath everything, it was always there.

I sighed, disappointed that it was there now.

Before I could stop it, just one detail of one part of that noise came through, and my heart reacted. Skipping just a little beat, but nervousness blossomed from the feeling. It was the worst one. I looked over, and Edward was looking at me.

I knew by the way his expression had changed that he'd heard it. He'd heard it too.

"I see." He finally told me, and I knew he'd figured it out. "I get it. Leandra, I'm so sorry."

"I don't wanna talk about that." I admitted, my voice weak.

Without intending to, he'd seen a glimpse at just a bit of what I held back and guarded relentlessly. Just knowing that bit would make everything else painfully clear. A single glance, a single bit of a memory that had slipped through, but just that single bit was enough to let the guilt and sickening shame take over.

"I understand." He nodded. "But I will just say one thing. If _that_ is what's stopping you from letting the rest of those memories out, please don't let it. What happened to you does not make you a bad person. It wasn't your fault."

I sat silently, now tense where I sat. I _really_ didn't want to talk about it. It was a very painful wound I still had, and he was poking at it.

"No, Leandra." He turned a little to face me. "There is so much about those memories that you don't understand. You have it entirely wrong." The pity I heard in his voice only matched the concern in his eyes.

"Please don't." I mumbled with a sigh, and I looked down. I just wanted to shove that darkness back and keep it back there for as long as I could. That's what I'd been doing for so long. It was what kept that self-hatred burning day in and day out. All my insecurities, and that complete lack of self-confidence.

The darkness was what held those things together. The time I finally saw the truth in what Jack was always telling me. It was a lesson I'd learned rather recently, just after my ninth birthday. A lesson I'd confessed to in that stupid dream book that Alice made me start. The same one Andrew had read.

Just thinking about it now was making it really, really hard to keep the rest back. He'd found the button to press to make me face those things. He was about to see things I always hid from him, and he didn't even know it.

"I _don't_ wanna talk about this." I said, a little firmer this time. He had to know how difficult he was making it for me. There's no way he didn't hear it.

"I don't want this to continue." He replied. "There is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty about what happened." I moved to stand up, but he caught my hand gently. "Just listen. You don't have to say anything, but listen to me."

"There's nothing you can say." I replied firmly. "I hate myself so much for what I did-"

"You didn't commit a crime, Leandra." He countered. "It's not your fault. You have no reason to feel ashamed over something you had no control over."

I sighed heavily, sitting back down since he wasn't releasing my wrist.

"That's all it was." He went on quickly. Falling quiet as a bit more of the memory slipped out. I whined, closing my eyes and turning my face away as I had to bite my trembling lip. I didn't want to face these things, _especially_ with Edward sitting right here.

"Leandra, look at me." He requested, but I kept my head turned. "Really. Look. Do I look like I hate you for what happened to you?" I couldn't. "Do you really think Carlisle would?"

I stayed quiet, but my thoughts were loud.

"He'll understand better than anyone, Leandra." He replied firmly. "You are a child. Jack is the adult. He was the one in the wrong. There is no reason for you to hold one ounce of guilt over what _he_ did to _you_."

He could tell me that all the time, but the proof I'd seen myself and the memory of Jack's reaction to that proof was stronger. It told me everything I needed to know and it kept me in the dark. He could tell me that every day for the rest of my life, but until I had proof that backed up what he was saying, I would probably never believe him.

"That's the poison, Leandra." He pointed out quietly. I shook my head a little, and I knew he understood. I refused to discuss it. He wasn't going to get anywhere pressing me about it. All it would do is cause more guilt when I couldn't give him the answers or responses he was looking for.

Obviously catching on, he sighed.

"Bella and I will be leaving around noon tomorrow. You'll be alone after that. You'll be okay here?"

I really wasn't sure about that, and I knew my hesitation alone was enough to make him look harder. Although by now, I was convinced it'd just been a dream brought on by stress. Just like Carlisle had said.

"Why didn't you bring this up before?" He asked quietly.

I didn't want to distract them.

"Regardless." Edward replied, a little more tensely. "Be very careful. Last night's dreams didn't follow your normal pattern. That could mean something significant. If he does come here, just stay out of sight. Keep the doors locked, and stay inside."

I nodded, taking a breath. I hesitated only briefly, and without another word, I left the room. I had absolutely no intention of leaving my room again for any reason until I was sure I wouldn't have to face him again.

My insecurities were pissed off, making me beat myself up relentlessly as I crossed my room and sat beside my still-open window. It was open as wide as it would go, just to let as much of a breeze into the room as I could. I'd forgotten to close it earlier, but I was grateful for it now.

My mind was driving me nuts. Pissed off as well by the way Edward had just tried to ruin the precarious way my thoughts were buried. No matter how badly I wanted to, I could never let those thoughts out. Edward was wrong.

I eventually moved to my bed. This headache was starting to bug me, and I had a feeling it had a lot to do with my lack of sleep. As afraid to sleep as I was, I needed it. So bad. So I quickly pulled on some pajamas, and settled into bed to think some more.

How must that have been for them to know I was still afraid of them? Involuntary or not, I still felt horrible. I didn't want to be afraid of them, even if I never noticed it. They had noticed it, and that was enough.

Maybe there were things I had noticed. The way my heart would sink just a little, but I always thought that was caused by being startled. The hugs. As much as I allowed them, and even returned them sometimes, I always broke them first.

Maybe there was a reason I only allowed Esme to hold me. Maybe I needed a replacement mom like her, but I did see how I hard it was to give Carlisle that kind of chance because the one father I'd grown up with had hurt me so bad. My mom was pretty much out of the way the entire time, so it was almost easy to give Esme a chance. Jack was always there, and Carlisle was trying to take that role. Carlisle's job was a lot harder.

I sobbed a little in frustration, covering my head with a pillow.

Carlisle was trying so hard, and I did know that, but I was afraid. I had to admit. Edward was right. It was about more than worrying about letting him down. It wasn't just me worrying about disappointing him. Like I'd never be good enough. I had no choice but to face that now.

If I was here permanently, I had to change things. I couldn't keep hurting them by being afraid. I knew for a fact that they'd never hurt me in any of the ways Jack had. I had to convince my instincts of that, but how was I supposed to change the way my instincts felt? I'd spent my whole life building those instincts. I didn't know how to change them.

Maybe being aware of it would be enough? This whole thing was a whole lot harder than I ever thought it would be in the beginning, but I had to think about it. Really think. By some miracle, I was still alive. I'd survived and endured so much. Why the hell was I going to waste that by being afraid of the same ones I owed my life to? Especially Carlisle. It was beyond stupid.

I needed to change that.

My thoughts moved on. I didn't know how to feel about the fact that Edward now knew a piece of the darkness I lived with. There were a lot of things hidden back there, but he had a piece of it now. I really _hated_ that another person now knew it. I should have been more careful, but I just had to trust that he wouldn't tell anyone else.

He said it hadn't been my fault, though. The conversation we'd had about it, as brief as it was, wasn't at all how I'd imagined it would be. I had to think about that too. I'd expected maybe some laughter, or at least disgust. There was none of that.

My head still buried under the pillow, I closed my eyes when they got too tired to stay open. After the last few nights, I desperately needed sleep that lasted longer than thirty seconds. I actually doubted for a minute that I'd ever find sleep, but I must have.

I jumped, startled awake several hours later, surprised at having fallen asleep.

One glance told me it was just Edward, so I sighed, laying back down. Watching as he closed my bedroom window. I felt a little bad that I'd left it open yet again, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I'm sorry I startled you." He told me.

"It's not hard to do." I mumbled into my pillow. What time was it? I looked over, glancing to the clock. It was very late. The brightness that made it through the window proved what time it was before Edward closed the curtains. Effectively hiding me away.

God, how long had it been since I'd slept that long? I'd completely wasted the entire morning, and I had no memory of it.

I heard him laugh quietly. "I just wanted you to know that we're leaving now. Remember what Carlisle told you."

"I know." I said, looking up at him as he came to stand beside my bed. "Stay upstairs. Don't even look outside."

He nodded. "We'll all be back here before you know it."

"I already know it." I muttered, which was true. "I need another chance. To stop being so selfish."

"Leandra, you're not selfish." He replied. "And you'll get that chance. I promise you."

"You sound like Carlisle when you say that." I smiled a little and he smiled as well.

"Thank you." He gave me a nod, and I knew that was a pretty big compliment.

I watched him turn, leaving. I didn't hear another sound after he closed my door gently, but I didn't need to to know he was gone. I hated knowing I was here alone. Especially after that dream.

I didn't remember dreaming while I slept, which was an unspeakable blessing. Maybe I could get through these next several hours. All I had to do was hold my breath and hold on. For an entire day, I realized. A tension was there, though, that I couldn't ignore.

Please, I thought, closing my eyes. Don't take too long.

 **A/N: As you guys have probably noticed, I attempted to release this chapter earlier, but I removed it, because I figured out what was bugging me about it at the very LAST second. I had my timeline all freaking wrong, but hopefully, I fixed it in time. :( Forgive me?  
THANK YOU! To those AMAZING REVIEWERS! You don't even know.**  
 **I expect a lot of emotions coming at me from you guys in Eleven, though. It'll be a mixed bag of everything, I think. We'll see what happens. It's looking like it'll be the last in the story, but I'll do my best to make it a good one. For now, I also need to sleep lol**  
 **Until Eleven, my friends!**


	11. Chapter 11

**IMPORTANT NOTE!: THIS CHAPTER IS VIOLENT! If you have issues with adult oriented violence, proceed with caution! It's chapters like this that make the rating. Again, proceed with caution!**

 **Chapter Eleven**

I didn't even try going back to sleep.

It'd have been pointless anyway, with how anxious I suddenly was, so I took my time brushing my teeth. Considering my loose tooth bugged me a little more today and one poke loosened it considerably with a bit of blood, I knew it wouldn't last another week. If Emmett wasn't here to yank it like I promised he could, I'd kill him.

I made sure to rinse my mouth thoroughly to get rid of the bit of blood that escaped with the loosening of my tooth. I didn't want to take any chances.

I left the bathroom, wandering into the living room to find a cell phone had been left on the table for me. I nodded, picking it up. Even if my family was busy, that didn't mean I couldn't call someone else if I needed to. Out of curiosity, I looked through the names in the contact list.

Every number I'd ever need was saved in there. Every one of the family members, as well as Richard and even Heather.

"Thank you." I mumbled to the empty house, gripping the phone tightly. I'd keep this thing right here until they got back.

I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I had this entire house to myself, and I wasn't that excited like every other kid would be. I missed supervision.

"Oh, stop it." I told myself, suddenly irritated. I used to be alone all the time. I'd survive. I was acting like such a baby. I was nearly eleven years old. They should be able to trust leaving me by myself for a day without me falling to pieces. I could handle this.

I sighed heavily and flopped onto the couch. Staring up at the ceiling and listening to the silence in the house. I missed that sleep I was in when Edward woke me up. It felt like a really long time since I'd gotten sleep like that. I chose to take that as a good sign, the fact that those dreams didn't plague me all night. Yeah, I was exhausted, but there was sleep, and then there was _sleep_.

Out cold, sleep-through-a-hurricane sleep.

I was also comforted to realize my headache was gone. Like it finally had a chance to rest too, but being so rested made it easy to become restless. That wasn't a good thing to be when I needed to stay put and watch movies. I also noticed that I was now hungry.

I considered getting dressed, in something besides pajamas, but why? Pajama shorts and a t-shirt. I might as well stay comfortable.

I rolled off the couch and made my way to the kitchen and straight into the fridge. I smiled when I noticed that Esme actually had prepared my favorite meal and left it for me to reheat in the microwave. There was plenty for me to sneak a little bit for lunch.

"Yum." I smiled a little as my stomach told me to hurry up. It was loud today.

I dished some out, holding the fork in my mouth as I placed the plate into the microwave. I felt a guilty while it was heating up that I couldn't be this eager to eat before they left.

I ate right there in the kitchen, standing at the counter, not even bothering to sit down. In the silence, I realized I could focus more on everything about me.

I could just barely see the cell phone sitting on the table from where I stood. Heather's number was in there, and so was Richard's. I wondered if I could talk one of them into bringing my friends over.

I was leaning more toward asking Richard, but would he wonder why I was left here alone? I shook my head. I'd only use that number if I really needed it. Heather, I wouldn't call for obvious reasons. Plus she'd probably wonder the same thing.

There went that.

I wasn't dumb enough to try walking there myself. I was told to stay inside, so I would. I had no intention of breaking that rule, but I really wondered if that would change the longer I was here by myself.

I washed my plate as soon as I was done, setting it to the side to dry while I returned to the living room. It was too quiet, so I turned on the TV. That helped a little, especially when I found a movie I didn't really have to pay attention to.

I watched it, but I didn't pay attention to it. My thoughts were wandering. I knew it wasn't a good thing to let them wander the way they were, but with nobody here to distract me, I didn't have much choice. My thoughts did what they wanted.

I didn't really know what my family was facing when it came to the fight, but I knew it was bad enough to worry about. They knew, though, and once again, I needed to trust that they knew what they were doing.

I was genuinely surprised when the day passed uneventfully. Nobody showed up, nothing scared me into hiding underneath a sink. The movies I watched stayed funny and light.

I ate dinner when I was supposed to, more than happy to. If only for something to do, but as night started falling, so did my mood. It wasn't anything new. Whether I was alone or not, something about the night and the dark that came with it triggered that same response I always had.

As night fell, my anxiety grew.

Before it could get too bad, though, the phone rang on the table. Right around the time I usually started considering going to bed. I jumped, having forgotten about it.

I recovered, reaching out and picking it up. It was Carlisle, so of course, I answered it.

"I'm just checking in." He said. "How is everything there?"

"I'm okay." I answered as honestly as I could. "I even ate dinner."

"That's good. I'm glad to hear that." He really sounded relieved.

"I've been staying away from the windows, just like you told me." I went on. "I just miss you guys. How much longer?" I knew Alice had said noon, but I needed some kind of encouragement.

"Alice was able to get more of an idea about when they'll be here." He explained. "Her original time was pretty accurate. Maybe a little earlier."

"So about noon?" I asked, still disappointed.

"Yes." He replied. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I sighed. "I'll be okay. Maybe I'll read a book or something." I really didn't want him to be worried about me losing my mind here.

"That sounds like a good idea."

It was quiet for a second while I looked down.

"But there is something I need to discuss with you." He said. "I'd rather have waited, but I'm afraid it can't." I tensed a little, unsure. "Edward told me about your dream."

I took a breath, sighing. I'd been worried that he'd mentioned something else. Though I was a little irritated that he would worry them with that little detail, I was relieved.

"I think it was just a dream."

"I really think you should have told us about that." He scolded gently. "I would have made other arrangements for you. I've asked Heather to check on you in the morning. I told her we had something we needed to take care of, and you elected to stay behind. She'll be there sometime between nine and ten."

"Okay." I replied, and that thought actually relieved me. She now knew I was here by myself, so she knew I was a little vulnerable.

"And I must stress again." He went on. "Every door and every window needs to stay locked. That includes your bedroom window, as I know you like to have it open while you sleep lately. Stay hidden until Heather gets there."

"Okay." I agreed again, sighing. "I feel so stupid."

"Don't." He replied instantly. "This isn't something to take lightly. Don't underestimate him. I want to be sure you're taking every precaution possible."

"I will." I assured him. "I promise."

"Alright." He seemed satisfied with that. "We'll be home as soon as we can. Stay safe, Leandra."

"You too." I mumbled. "Don't worry about me so much."

"We always will." He replied.

As soon as the call was ended, I felt cold again. Carlisle was telling me to take that dream seriously. I couldn't really do that without panicking, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to double-check my window, just to be positive it was locked.

It was, just as Edward had left it.

I slept on the couch that night anyway. It felt safer to me, and I wasn't even tempted to sleep in my room. Oddly, it was easier to wake up after a nightmare, too, because of the unfamiliarity of it.

I was able to go straight back to sleep, though. It wasn't a lasting one, and damn sure not as real as the one I'd had the other night. Even if this one had been a memory.

The house was quiet, so I was positive I'd hear anything I needed to hear should anything come up. Nothing ever did.

I woke up really early, but sleeping in again was out of the question. I knew I was only a few hours away from safety, and Heather would come over even before that.

I was restless, though. Literally pacing through the house, and that feeling got worse the closer it got to ten o'clock. I just needed her to show up and distract me for a minute. I nibbled on some toast for breakfast, but that was about it.

I wondered how my family was doing. I wasn't surprised when I didn't get a morning call, as I knew they needed to focus completely on what they were doing. I wasn't upset about that.

I came out of my thoughts at the sound of a knock on the door. I glanced out the window, spotting Heather's car sitting in the drive. 9:45. She was here almost a little late, but I was just glad she was here with the way I was feeling.

I didn't bother looking up at the door until I was just a few feet away. Sliding to a stop at who I saw there instead. Jack clearly saw me, but I froze. He rolled his eyes and gestured that I come let him in. He didn't seem mad, or even upset. I saw nothing of the anger in his eyes that I'd revisited every moment I slept.

He seemed calm, which was the only reason I even bothered to get closer.

"What?" I asked through the door. He gave me a look, and I sighed. He probably couldn't hear me through the door. The glass was thick enough. I shook my head. Though I was curious at how brave he was, I wasn't stupid enough to open that door.

It was so strange, looking at him just on the other side of the door, unable to reach me. He seemed almost normal.

He gestured at the door again, but again, I shook my head. I looked behind him. He must have taken Heather's car. Probably in hopes of tricking me, and it nearly worked. How did he even know she was supposed to be here? It had to be another coincidence.

I barely heard his voice when he spoke loudly.

"I'm not leaving here until you open the door." He said, and I thought. What would happen if my family got back to find him here? Even just standing here while I was inside would probably push Emmett to react. Again, I didn't want to be the reason he died. I hesitated for several seconds.

"I'll behave." He added, holding his hands up innocently. "I'm not here for you." There was just enough annoyance in his voice that made me believe him, but not enough to tell me he was pissed. I picked up on things like that.

Knowing I was going to regret this, I braced my foot against the bottom of the door and pulled it open just a little.

"What?" I repeated. Looking up at him leaning on the outside of the door frame.

"Your _parents_ home?" He asked casually. He said the word like he was mocking it. "I just want a word with them."

I swallowed in nervousness, debating. Maybe if he knew they were coming back, he'd stop bothering me, and he actually wouldn't cross any lines.

"Not right now, but they're on their way." I mumbled. "Should be here any minute."

"Great." He smiled. "I'll wait." Crap. He called my bluff.

"That's probably not a good idea." I said. "Why don't you just come back some other time?"

"Well, I would, but it's pretty important.. So.." With no regard to my attempts to block the door, he shoved it open effortlessly, smiling down at me as he stepped passed me and into the house. My heart pounded, but I took a deep breath, closing the door.

Okay, maybe I _was_ stupid enough to open the door.

"That was pretty rude." I commented, slowly trailing after him. I hated seeing him here. It bothered me deeply, especially considering I was here alone. I narrowed my eyes at the floor, forcefully reminded of the dream I had. It was starting to scare me.

"Nice place." He nodded, looking around.

"Yeah." I said. "Look, if they see you here when they get back-"

"Chill out." He said. "I'm just here to talk." He paused, slowly moving further into the room, still looking around.

"You tried to kill me, remember? I don't trust you. How am I gonna chill out?" He sighed, rolling his eyes. He lifted his jacket, turning in a slow circle. Proving he was unarmed.

"Search me." He said. "I don't have anything." When I didn't move, his eyes landed on me again. "Jumpy." I didn't see anything worrisome. "Besides. You let me in, remember?"

"I didn't-"

"Tell me about them."

I sighed, but let it go for now. "Well.." I muttered, moving until I had the chair between him and I. Just in case. "They're protective of me. Very protective."

"I see." He said. "I'm sure they know what I did to you."

"Yeah." I said incredulously. "And that's why they're protective of me, and every single one of them wanna kill you." He smirked as if that was amusing. "I'm serious."

"Why?" He chuckled. "For _you_?" I saw where he was going with that, so I didn't reply. "You must be one hell of an actress." I didn't feel like playing along.

He was quiet for several seconds, slowly pacing around the room. I kept my eyes on him. I could only hope he stayed this calm the entire time I was here with him alone. However long that was.

"What else?" He asked. "I don't know much about this family taking care of my property."

"I'm not yours anymore, Jack." I reminded him quietly. "I don't belong to you."

"You'll always be mine." He smiled, and I didn't like that. "It doesn't matter to me who owns you. You'll always be mine."

"They don't own me." I corrected. He chuckled, but was otherwise quiet. "I really think you should go. I won't tell them you were here, so if you just leave, and come back tomorrow or something-"

"Come on. What's the rush? They'll be back soon, right?"

I glanced to the clock. Not much time had passed. 9:55. I didn't know how far away they were or how busy they were, but I had about two hours to figure out what to do. The fact was I couldn't make him leave. If he wanted to stay, he'd stay. Maybe I could just keep him calm. Just until either my family got there, or Heather found a way here. Heather was closer.

"Right." I murmured anyway.

"Then there's no problem." He smiled again. "So what else can you tell me?"

"Why do you want to know?" I finally asked. I was getting irritated, unable to really tell what he was planning. He finally chuckled again. He knew he was getting to me.

"Just go." I mumbled. "And give Heather her car back."

"She has another one she can use." He replied. "Granted, it's at home and she's stuck at work, but.." He smirked. "So I'm curious. Why are you here, instead of with your mom?"

"She gave up her rights to me." I replied. "So did my dad."

He scoffed a little. "So she _really_ didn't want you."

"It wasn't like that." I muttered.

"I've been telling you your whole life that she didn't want you." He pointed out. "Even with the proof all around you, you still don't believe me." He paused for a few seconds, looking around. "Well, where can I find her?"

"I don't know." I replied honestly. "She's never told me where she is."

"I'll find her." He nodded confidently.

"Why?" I frowned.

"She got away from me too." He reminded me. "I told her what would happen if she ever left. Just like I told you." I fidgeted nervously, looking down.

"I didn't know what would happen." I mumbled. "I mean.. I didn't know they'd.. Do what they did to you. I just thought.. I mean.. I wasn't _trying_ to ruin your life, but I just wanted to stop hurting so bad."

"I went a little overboard." He admitted. "But that doesn't mean you didn't fucking deserve it."

"Why do you hate me so much?" I finally asked, and he seemed slightly surprised I'd ask that. He didn't answer right away. "What have I ever done? I wasn't born to ruin your life. I didn't ask for you to marry my mom."

"No you didn't." He replied, sitting down in the chair closest to him with a sigh. "You were two years old. Completely innocent, but I saw something in you I wanted. Your mom was just in the way of that, but I always get what I want. I make a way."

That was a surprising answer. I never expected to hear that much honesty, so I sat down too.

"It wasn't like I could just kidnap you." He went on. "That would have been stupid, even though I know Gina wouldn't have been able to stop me."

"What was it you saw?" I asked quietly.

"You were perfect." He said. "The perfect modelling clay, and the perfect pawn. I could turn you into anything I wanted, but I needed to marry your mom first before I could do anything. She needed to be backed into a corner. It didn't take very long at all because she fell for it out of pure desperation."

"Why me?"

"Like I said." He replied. "You were perfect, and the situation couldn't have been more perfect either. Young woman in a crumbling marriage, with a toddler to boot. I chose you the second I met you, and I'm a _very_ ambitious person. I take what I want. All I had to do was turn her against you. Just enough to become the hero. I'm pretty good with kids."

"So.. For fun?"

"In a way." He allowed. "It wasn't like I wanted to just go make a kid of my own. I didn't want that either. I didn't have that much patience. No. You were my target, and I wasn't letting you go. I'm still not letting you go. I've put too much work into you to do that."

He was quiet, not bothering to continue. I sighed again, shaking my head.

I now understood what Jasper was trying to tell me awhile back. I was looking at what happened when someone let the hate they felt take over their life. If I didn't let it go, I would turn into Jack. I had to let it go.

"I forgive you." He looked to me, even more surprised, before he smirked. "Not for you. For me. I really hope you die someday, Jack, but I forgive you. I won't hate you anymore. Not after today."

"All the times you beat me for no reason.. It's because you hate yourself." I continued, and he wasn't laughing anymore. "Someone taught you to hate. You tried to do the same thing to me, but I'm not yours anymore, Jack."

This was the longest I'd ever had a chance to speak to him without him hitting me or interrupting me. I knew he was listening, so I continued.

"I forgive you, Jack, because my family is teaching me how to. They're teaching me how to be good. Not how to hate like you. They care about me."

He actually started laughing at that statement. I stood back up.

"They don't care about _you_." He laughed, standing up as well. "What a fucking joke. They care about the tax break. Or.. You just haven't been completely honest with them about what you are." I sensed his mood was darkening. His voice reflected that, and I backed up a step in response. "You haven't told them, have you?"

"Stop it." I muttered quietly, looking down. "I'm putting it behind me. You-"

"You haven't told them because you _know_ what'll happen." He shut me up. "There's a reason why I'm the only one who'll ever want you. The second they find out about what you did and what kind of person you are, this little set up you've got going on here will be fucking history. They're not going to want someone like _you_ dragging their name through the mud. Exactly like you've _been_ doing."

"I'm still learning." I replied defensively. "At least I still can. It's not my fault you're a lost cause."

It was quiet for a minute, and I waited for him to get mad, like he usually did. He didn't. That gave me so much false confidence I probably shouldn't have let get to me. I should have shut up.

"If the way you treated me was the way you were treated as a kid, then I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want to see you anymore. I'm done with you. I'm letting it go."

He was quiet for a second before he nodded. "Fair enough."

"You're not mad?" I asked nervously.

"Why would I be?" He asked. "I don't give a fuck what lies you're telling yourself. It just means that my job isn't done."

"It's not a lie, Jack." I replied, and his jaw clenched a little before he smiled again.

He held his hand out to me as he stepped closer. "I'll be on my way then." I could only hope, but I knew he wasn't going anywhere unless I shook his hand. "No hard feelings here. If you _really_ forgive me, that is."

Hesitantly, I stepped forward, and stupidly, I gave him my hand. He was quick, I had to give him that.

Jerking me forward, he grabbed my neck in both strong hands, near my head, and lifted me off the floor. All I had time for was a whimper before I was suddenly spun around and slammed back into the brick of the fireplace. The second I felt that pain, I knew he'd snapped.

Defiance was one sure way to piss him off. Telling him he was wrong was another. I hadn't even realized what I was doing while I told him those things.

Holding me tight, and up off my feet. He shook me so hard, my head spun a little.

"You forgive me?" He growled through clenched teeth, shaking me roughly. "Huh? You forgive _me_?" I kept my teeth clenched. I kept my gaze on his. Refusing to let him know I was afraid, but I knew for a fact he saw it.

"Let's get one thing straight right now." His voice quieted. "You'll never fucking talk to me like that again." It wasn't an option. "I don't care what kind of shit they're filling your head with, but that ends _now_."

I couldn't breathe. My back hurt enough to steal my breath, but I had no choice but to pay attention.

" _You_ forgive _me_?" Jack shook me harder before lifting me higher, turning and literally throwing me to the floor. I landed half on my side, half on my knees, looking up at him as I scrambled used the end of the couch to pull myself to my feet. "You ruined my fucking life, you filthy little bitch."

I knew instantly that I needed to get away from him. I'd pissed him off with my attempt at bravery. I could see that in his eyes, and I knew it, but I also knew it wouldn't be a good idea to make it obvious.

I stood there, unsure as he closed in slowly. "I made you a promise, and I fully intend to keep it. I treated you the way I treated you because that's how little bitches like you deserve to be treated. You're not going to _let it go_. You know why? Because that hate is in you, little girl, and it'll always be there. I know, because I put it there myself. That was almost a very convincing speech, but I'm not fucking buying it."

Don't keep talking back. Don't piss him off anymore.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled in a whimper, sitting down as he neared. Bringing my hand up in an effort to shield any hits he might decide to give me.

Not surprisingly, that seemed to help.

"Okay." He growled. "You might get away with that opinionated bullshit around here, but I fucking dare you to try that with me again. Next time, I won't be so damn nice, so think twice about being a smart-ass."

Really thinking about it, that _was_ him being nice. I knew him and his personality better than anyone, and that was his nice.

He was about to leave, probably for my own safety, since I technically really didn't belong to him and he at least had to keep that in mind. He was just about to leave, when we both heard the front door open and he froze.

"Leandra?" It was Heather, and she was worried. Her voice carried far.

I tensed, my eyes on Jack. He paused for a second, glancing at me before forcing a humorless laugh.

"Look who made it to the fucking party." Jack called out, clearly still agitated.

"She was supposed to come over." I explained quietly, trying to calm him down. "Even before you showed up."

"No shit." Jack snapped, and I looked down.

"Leandra." I looked over as Heather entered the room. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's not your fault."

"Are you okay?"

"I left the bitch alive if that's what you're asking." Jack snapped at her now.

"I'm okay." I replied anyway, glancing nervously at Jack. I'd be even better if she got him to leave.

"I'm getting sick of you getting in the way, Heather." Jack went on at her.

"Too bad." She snapped in reply. "You need to leave. Right now."

"Watch the fucking tone." He countered.

Heather gestured to me. "Leandra, honey.. Come with me." I immediately jumped up, more than ready to take her direction. Before I could take more than one step, though, Jack took a step to the side, blocking my way.

I stopped mid-step, looking up at him, but he was looking right at Heather. They were in the middle of a rather intense staring match, as if they were having a silent conversation.

"That's not a good idea." Jack finally told her, probably me as well. I'd never seen that look on her face before. Then again, I'd never seen them both in the same room at the same time.

"Leandra. Let's go." She gestured me forward again, but I was unsure about moving this time. All I wanted was for him to stay calm. "Let's go."

The tension was thick, but as badly as I wanted to just run toward her, I had to think about myself too.

"I told you." Jack replied to her. "I don't want this bitch around them. Ever." Them, probably meaning Josh and Zack.

"Good thing you don't have a damn say." Heather replied firmly. "I told you what would happen if you ever bothered her again." Her tone was still firm. "Leandra."

I took a breath and moved to the side. Attempting to step around Jack, but before I could, he caught the side of my neck in his hand. I yelped as he quickly pulled me back to him, sliding his hand around and gripping the front of my neck tightly.

Heather started toward us quickly.

"See." He reached into his pocket, stopping Heather's advance immediately as he pulled out a folded knife. The sound of it clicking open made me jump roughly and sob once in fear. "You really should care."

I stood tense, locked in place.

Her voice was a warning now. "Jack."

"What?" He barked. "What are you going to do about it? Get the fuck out of here before I do something you regret."

It really seemed like she didn't know what to do.

"You wouldn't." She finally glared.

"Watch me." Was his firm reply. "I don't give a fuck what kind of claim you think you have to this little bitch, but she's _mine_. You've been warned to stay away from her, but you just _d_ _o_ _n't_ listen." I tensed even more as he pressed the very tip of the knife against my neck between his fingers. "I can put an end to that right now."

"You've lost your damn mind." She snapped. "Let her go. Right now."

"Nah." He replied. "I think I'll just.." He tightened his hold around my neck, forcing me back against him. My whimper was cut short as he squeezed, and I immediately reached up, trying to pry his hand loose.

"Jack." She was warning him now.

"Get the fuck out!" Even unable to breathe, I flinched at his shout.

"Not without her." She countered firmly.

"Stupid choice." He replied evenly. I squeezed my eyes shut as he looked at me, pressing the knife tip just a little harder to my neck.

I cried out as the hand he was holding the knife with was suddenly jerked away, but not before adding a bit more pressure to it. I felt my skin give just enough. I flinched, sobbing loudly as Jack quickly threw me to the side and bolted forward.

I hit the floor, rolling to my knees and nervously watching as Jack caught a hold of Heather. I didn't want to see anything happen to her, so I did the only thing I could think of. I jumped up, and sprinted right for my room.

I squeaked in fear as I heard him following me. He couldn't resist.

I listened to him clearly following me, and I choked, whimpering loudly. He was faster, his arm circling me. Just outside my bedroom door. My fingers barely managed to touch the knob before I'd been lifted off my feet. The door next to me was thrown open and Jack dragged me into my room.

Slamming the door right in Heather's face and locking it.

He lifted me off my feet by my neck, pressing me painfully against the wall beside the door. Heather was trying her hardest to get in, but it wasn't working that well.

Jack chuckled, ignoring her. One hand holding me up by the neck, and the other reached up, covering my mouth and pinning my head back against the wall. He stood closer to me now, so it was nearly impossible to do much of anything. Not to mention, I couldn't breathe.

"Scary, isn't it?" He chuckled, and I opened my eyes. "Your heart pounding, your head spinning.. That's called suffocating, sweetheart, and that's what you're doing right now."

I gave a sudden hard twist, and he lost his grip. I reached for the knob, but didn't get it in time. He laid a rough slap against my face, sending me to the floor. I fought back to my hands and knees, ignoring the slight dizziness.

I whimpered, trying to crawl away. I tasted the blood in my mouth, but I immediately noticed that my tooth had fallen out. I spit it out, surprised by the blood that followed. It really didn't feel like he'd hit me that hard.

I looked down at the carpet for a second, watching blood hit the pale carpet, and I knew my nose was bleeding as well. I immediately reached up, covering my blood. I didn't want it to get everywhere.

He stood there for a few seconds, watching me, and now we both clearly heard Heather's attempts to get the door open.

"What do you think?" Jack asked me quietly, chuckling. "Should we really give her a reason to worry?"

I fought to my feet, and ran toward my window. He followed easily, jerking me away from it before I could even get the lock open.

I was dropped onto my bed, and he kneeled over me, pinning me roughly. My wrists pinned beside my head. My legs were useless, and I lost my breath under his weight. He sat on my hips, making it impossible for me to raise my legs very high. I didn't know what to do. The throbbing pain in my nose and mouth was making it hard to focus on anything besides crying.

I'd probably never forget the sound of his growling chuckle.

One of his hands found my neck again, holding me still, and though I clawed at him this time, it didn't phase him. I knew he saw my blood, but that only seemed to make him even more determined.

He leaned down, letting me breathe and pressing his forehead against mine. Though I could breathe for now, I knew that would soon end. I turned my head as much as I could, if only to get a breath away from him. He was suffocating me with his presence. It was something he loved to do.

"Let's get one thing straight." He murmured to me, ignoring the weak struggle I gave. "If you're not mine, you're not anybody's." I opened my eyes, looking up at him. " _Nobody_ is going to tell me I can't have you. Not my fucking sister, and for damn sure not some piece of shit family that took in my trash. Do you understand me?"

That seemed to get through to me. I felt those words like they were physical hits, and I was even surprised when they pissed me off. I was used to the things he said about me, but when he talked about my family like that, I felt defensive. Even toward him.

"They're better than _you_." I snapped through tears. He pushed up enough to look at me. He paused for a few seconds, studying me.

"Did you _really_ just say that?" He sounded incredulous. "Are you _that_ fucking stupid?" He forced a laugh. "Fucking _really_?"

I fought to catch my breath.

"Do you not see me?" He continued. "Am I not making an _impression_ on that empty fucking head of yours? I'm right here, and where the fuck are they?"

I didn't know how to answer that. I could only glare at him. Heather's attempts at the door stopped, but I barely noticed that.

He sighed, lowering back down over me. Right back to suffocating me. I felt like just his weight would suffocate me if his hand didn't.

"I want you to listen to me." He growled, squeezing my neck again. "Life is so fucking short. Can you imagine that? Being alive one minute, and then someone like me comes along, and.. Poof. Suddenly it's over. That is exactly why you shouldn't waste your time pretending someone actually fucking cares about you."

I jumped at the sound of Heather returning. Except this time, it was louder as she completely knocked the door knob off the door with something heavy. One more hit knocked the door open.

She must have been more focused on getting into the room than she was about getting help, and her determination showed.

"Don't you move a goddamn inch." Jack growled against the side of my face, pushing himself up as Heather made it into the room. I bounced as he climbed off the bed to face her, hardly daring to move. She was pissed too it seemed, because she wasn't trying to talk.

I couldn't help it. Sitting up and preparing to run again as I watched him easily overpower her. He had yet to hit her, but I could sense it coming. I'd seen it enough times to know.

He backed her right up against the wall, and I looked over as he took a firm hold of her hair next, the knife now at her neck. The open door was just right there. Why didn't she run away as soon as she could?

"You won't hurt me." She told him, but even I heard the way her voice wavered.

She looked right passed him, and right at me. I understood exactly what she was telling me, but I couldn't move. I was way too scared, terrified as I watched her right back.

"What do you think, little sister?" Jack sneered. "Huh? Are you gonna be the brave one? Are _you_ going to save that worthless little whore?" He pointed back at me with the knife.

"I'll always save her." Heather countered firmly. "Every time, because she's _not_ worthless. This has gone far enough." She was still trying to be brave, but I could tell his grip was hurting her. "I don't want to hurt you."

He laughed.

"Right." He snorted. "Like-"

He cut off with a loud grunt as she clearly punched him in the stomach, and he immediately released her. She punched him in the face and scooted away from him before he'd even finished doubling over. She leaned down as quickly as she could, taking the knife from his hand. She then sprinted right for me, and I felt every ounce of her fear, on top of my own, the second I looked into her eyes.

I'd never seen anyone this scared. Including my own mom, and I responded to that now by stupidly freezing up.

"Baby." She whispered. "Come on." I was stuck. I didn't know how to move. I knew exactly what she was telling me to do. She needed help, she needed me to run with her, but I literally couldn't move. My terrified trembling the only part of me that moved, along with my shallow, panicked breathing.

I'd never been this scared in my entire life. No dream or nightmare could come close. Every other experience paled in comparison. I was too scared to move. Instead of waiting, she glanced back to see Jack shaking off her hit, and pulled me off the bed herself before she rounded to face him.

She faced him, knowing as well as I did that running wouldn't get us very far.

"Now you listen to me." I'd never heard that tone come out of anyone before. Heather's voice was so firm, it trembled. Not with fear, but with anger. "I'm done. This is _not_ a negotiation. You have about three seconds to get out of here before they'll need to identify you by dental records. I swear to _God_ , Jack. I'm done. I told you once. If you _ever_ lay a finger on her again.."

He smirked, chuckling.

"It's just like you to toss empty threats." He replied easily.

"It's just like _you_ to ignore my threats, Jack." She countered. "Get out. While you still can." He only laughed again.

"Really." He said. "What are you going to do? We both know you're the weaker one of us."

"Am I?" She asked pointedly. "I have a life, Jack. I made something of myself. What do you have? Nothing. Nothing but the fact that dad still owns you."

"You shut the fuck up." He wasn't laughing anymore. Both her arms were behind her, holding onto me, and she moved us a step to the side. Toward the door.

"I tried to help you." She went on anyway. "I begged you before I left home to get yourself straight. Now look at you. You know what doing this will do. You're not escaping this time."

"As you say, what the fuck do I have to lose?" He asked. "I could kill you both and die happy."

"You wouldn't do that." She replied, way more confident than I could be. "You're nothing but talk."

I whimpered, and she squeezed me gently. Taking another side step toward the door.

"I want that bitch behind you." He was losing his patience, and I could tell now that he was beyond reason. If I knew it, Heather had to know it too.

"Too bad." She snapped back. She let me go, giving me a nudge. I got the hint, and finally remembered how to run. I bolted the rest of the way to the door, running faster as I heard him try to follow me but Heather stopped him.

I was beyond terrified. Just enough beyond terrified not to feel it now that my mind remembered how to make me move. I was running on pure adrenaline at this point, it was amazing I hadn't passed out yet with the way panic kept my throat closed.

I couldn't do that, though. Where was my fight? The same one that had helped get him released in the first place. I needed to find that. It was the only language he spoke. A language he didn't even know I knew.

I stopped. Just thinking about it like that sort of changed the way things made sense in my mind. Everything shifted back, and something new came through.

I considered possible weapons, the possibilities scrolling through my head before I could even stop on one. I'd stopped in the middle of the living room and looked around me desperately as I heard the sound of a loud slap and a thud.

Somehow, I knew to look up.

I caught sight of a baseball bat, the same one Emmett wielded that day, just sitting up on a high shelf. As quickly as I could, I dragged a chair over and climbed up onto it.

"Leandra." Jack called from my bedroom doorway, and I figured out that Heather was unable to help me now. I clenched my teeth, biting back the panic until my hand closed around the handle of the bat. I dragged it to me, leaping off the chair and heading for the stairs.

The drying blood on my face was starting to bug, but I just wiped it with the back of my hand. Ducking into the linen closet and closing the door silently behind me.

My entire body was tense, but I was ready. Forcing my breathing to slow down, but keeping it quiet. I heard every one of his slow steps up the stairs, trembling as my heart pounded painfully. Blinking tears from my eyes in an effort to steel myself.

I couldn't let my fear make it easy for him to finish what he started. I just needed to stall. Just long enough for my family to get home.

"Leandra." He called again, and I realized he was further than I thought he was. He was in the hall, passed the door I hid behind. "You're just making it harder on yourself."

Fuck you, I thought, I'm making it harder on you. Which was exactly what I was intending to do. A determination I'd never felt burned in my stomach, thawing me out just enough to push me out of that closet. I peered around the door to find him just walking into the bathroom across the hall.

I sprung across the hall on my tip-toes, moving silently and parking myself right outside the door. I had to time this just right, or I'd miss and only piss him off. He wasn't allowed to just show up and take everything from me. Not anymore. It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault.

It was _his_.

I tensed hard and swung the bat as hard as I could in the direction of his head right as I saw his reflection in the mirror, coming back out. It wasn't high enough, and I only hit his shoulder, but it was enough to send the knife out of his hand and rolling away.

He ducked away, reaching for me with his other hand right as I swung again, and missed again. I was pissed now, accidentally dropping the bat. He managed an angry grip on my shirt, jerking me violently forward. I immediately lost my balance, landing against him.

Once I felt his arms close around me, I lost it. I dropped down, breaking his hold easily since he wasn't expecting that and he lost balance for a second. I reached out, laying a solid scratching slap against his face, digging my nails in as hard as I could. Through a shout of pain, he reached for me again, but again, I dropped. Rolling away, and scrambling back across the hall.

Of course, he followed me.

I slammed my back against the wall, bracing myself tensely right as he reached me, but before he could get a good grip on me, I brought my foot up. Aiming for his knee, but where I hit was a lot more significant. Right between his legs.

He dropped immediately with a loud, drawn-out growl of pain, but I wasn't done.

I kicked him like he used to kick me. I knew I wasn't doing nearly as much damage to him as he had done to me, but it didn't hurt to try. One kick landed right in his face, but it seemed like all that did was piss him off.

He caught hold of my ankle, jerking me off my feet. I landed hard on my butt, and he turned his head to deflect my hard-as-I-could punches as he crawled over me. He gripped my neck, and slammed me down. My head landed hard against the floor, and that was all it took to still me.

I must have blacked out for a second, because the very next thing I knew, he was now standing over me. He was sort of bent over, catching his breath and for the first time, I saw pain in his grimace, but he now had the bat.

Despite my dizziness, I saw the damage I'd done to him in such a short amount of time. The scratches across the left side of his face were trailing blood down the side of his neck, and his nose bled quite a bit more now.

I felt so bad for causing blood-shed in their house, but Jack had started it. I was pretty sure they'd understand.

He shook out his arm a little in pain as he stood upright, and as hard as I tried, I couldn't focus.

"Oh, you.." He chuckled, still out of breath, reaching down and picking up the discarded knife. He used the end of the bat to turn my head back up to look at him. "I underestimated you. You just keep surprising me, so I guess I need to try harder."

I laid there, fighting to catch my own breath. Sobbing, struggling to accept defeat as he reached down and took a hold of my hair. He dragged me toward the stairs on my back while I held onto his wrist.

"One day, you'll fucking learn not to fucking _run_ from me." He was mad now, and I knew it as he dropped me, squatting next to me. He gripped my neck with my head hanging over the top step. Whatever was coming was going to hurt.

I hung on desperately to his wrist, really not wanting to fall.

"You gonna behave?" He barked, and I nodded immediately. "What do you say? Do you still _forgive_ me?" I just sobbed. No. I hated him. So much more than I ever had before. "I didn't fucking think so."

He hauled me to my feet, forcing me along with him down the stairs.

I glanced at the clock on the way passed it. 10:37. I wasn't done stalling, but I didn't have enough energy to keep it up much longer.

The phone on the table started ringing. My focus was taken by it, and so was Jack's. He stopped long enough to pick it up and look at it. From my position, I could just see Esme's name on it before Jack chuckled.

He answered it. "She's busy."

Throwing the phone across the room, it shattered against the wall before he continued on. He returned us both to my room.

"I don't expect to make it out of here free." He told me in a conversational tone. "But I only need five minutes."

He threw me right back onto my bed. I immediately flipped over onto my hands and knees, attempting to scramble away, but he was faster. He grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me back and flipping me back over.

Defeated, I could only lay there. Squeezing my eyes shut and turning my head, hating the way my mind spun. I felt the bed shift as he got closer, and I felt his hand slowly grip my neck.

"I told you I'm taking every single second of the last year out of you, and I meant that. If I'm going back, I have something to take care of first."

My breathing tight, I looked toward the door at Heather's form on the floor.

From what I could see, she was unconscious, but breathing. I'd never actually seen anyone unconscious before, so it was strange to me, and I had no idea what to do to help her. Even if I could.

He laid the bat across my pillows, and I looked at it as he settled more over me. There was blood on the end of it now from where he'd pressed it to my cheek. It looked scary against the aluminum of it.

As badly as I wanted to reach for it, I couldn't. I was too weak now. This time making sure both of my legs were pinned together by his knees. One of his hands gathered both of my wrists, pinning them hard to my chest.

"It's only fair." He growled into my ear, and a second later, he bit my cheek. I sobbed out loudly, my hands instantly fighting to get free, but he squeezed them tighter together, hurting my wrists too. After seconds that felt like years, he released me and he looked down at his handy work.

He chuckled again, leaning back down and biting and nipping painfully at my neck this time. I cringed away, but he held me still, his free hand coming up and gripping my hair tightly with all his strength.

I still sobbed loudly, completely unable to move. He pulled back enough to turn my head up, ignoring my weak attempts at freedom. I hated this so much, but I couldn't look away. Every time I tried to close my eyes, he pulled harder on my hair until I got the hint.

Releasing my hair, his hand reached down, and up the back of my shirt.

I fought at the heat of his hand against my skin, but that fight intensified as he dug his fingernails in right between my shoulder blades and dragged them down the entire length of my back. Just as hard, if not harder than I'd scratched him. He did it much slower, more painfully thanks to me being pressed into my bed, and he laughed at the burning pain I felt instantly.

I was completely trapped.

"I guess I'm almost out of time." He whispered to me through my loud sobs. "But just remember my little visit today. Hmm? I'll get out again. I'll be seeing you again. I'll keep coming back."

He brought his hand up, and I was surprised by the amount of my blood that covered his hand from the scratches he'd just given me. He used that hand to grip my face, holding me still as he pressed a kiss to my lips. Just a quick, very brief one, just enough to seal my fate, but it was painful in so many ways.

"I'm so glad I called your fucking bluff." He smiled. "So much for a few minutes, huh? Where are they now?"

"Right here, you son-of-a-bitch."

I jumped at Rosalie's solid voice suddenly in the doorway, and Jack actually did too. He pushed up, looking back. Emmett was directly beside her, and the look on his face, from what I could see in the dim light, was absolutely terrifying. Alice was helping Heather up off the floor, but I wasn't looking at them.

"Welcome home." Jack chuckled quietly.

Jack got up and I fought my way up, sobbing as Esme pushed her way in between Rose and Emmett. Despite the mess I knew I was, she wasted no time in coming forward, meeting me halfway and immediately drawing me into her arms, even as my legs gave out. I closed my eyes, choosing not to pay attention anymore. Hiding, in a way.

The back of my shirt was wet, but I tried not to pay attention to that.

I didn't pay attention as Emmett moved forward. The thunderous growl he gave scared me even more as I gasped for breath, but Esme's comforting hand coming up and covering the side of my head helped more than I was sure she knew. I felt her trembling, and I knew how much blood I was covered in was bothering her. Especially at the fact that she didn't say anything. None of them did, which told me none of them were breathing.

Except for Emmett.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Emmett's demand had me glance over.

Every single one of Emmett's movements screamed murderous rage, so I didn't fight Esme's hold around me as she pulled me further into her arms. I was still in panic mode, though, and it was taking me a moment to fully realize that I was safe again.

Alice stood up, watching with murder written in her own expression as we all watched Emmett drag Jack toward the door by his neck. Paying no mind to Jack's struggles on his way out of the room, right passed me. I didn't need a gift to know what was about to happen.

So suddenly, Emmett was dangerous. I'd known that before, but to see it..

Esme gave Alice a firm nod, and Alice didn't wait to be told twice.

I had no idea it was coming, but with no warning, everything just stopped. With no warning, I lost consciousness right as Alice was walking away.

The very next thing I knew, I was fighting. Kicking and twisting under hands attempting to stop me from getting away. My eyes were open, but I wasn't seeing anything yet.

"Leandra." It took several seconds for me to recognize Carlisle's voice. "It's okay. You're alright."

I found myself holding tight to his hand so hard my own shook. I recognized immediately where I was, and I noticed that hours had passed. Night had fallen, and I was still in my room. That wouldn't do.

I fought my way passed Carlisle, off the bed and falling to my hands and knees. I retreated backwards, and made it to the open door before I stopped and looked at him.

He seemed confused, and fairly concerned. He didn't know that I couldn't be in here. I couldn't concentrate on that right then, though, as I drew in deep lungfuls of air, coughing it out.

My head suddenly spun, and I looked down. Just like that, I'd narrowly escaped death, and maybe something far worse, once more.

"N-No." I managed, even as my voice shook. I was trying to tell him to go stop Emmett before he killed Jack, even though I knew it was far too late half a second later. Carlisle kneeled beside me, ignoring what I'd said.

"Just breathe." He told me gently. "Give it a minute." I needed to catch up, so I gladly took his advice. I trembled roughly, trying to calm down.

"J-Jack.." I shook my head. "Don't.. I-I tried, b-but-"

"Breathe." He told me, and I stopped trying to convince him. I couldn't anymore anyway, because the more I was able to breathe, I began to cry. Pulling me into his arms, he just held me, and that only helped me. I ignored the pain that flared down the length of my back at the slightest contact, because I needed to be held more than I cared about how much it hurt.

Soon enough, before I could break down too much, I started to calm down. Forcing tight breaths, but they started to slow down. This time, I did recognize Jasper's help.

"I've never been so scared in my entire life, Leandra." He admitted quietly, and that only broke my heart in another way. His entire life was a really long time, and I knew he was being truthful.

"Me neither." I whimpered, keeping my eyes shut.

I suddenly remembered. I sat back, reaching up and feeling my lips and chin for the blood I'd had there.

"It's alright, Leandra." He assured me, knowing what I was looking for. "Esme cleaned you up." I sighed, looking down. With my tongue, I felt the new gap between my teeth. I felt so horrible for it now. I knew an adult tooth would fill it in. I knew it'd be okay, but for right then, it was a solid reminder that Jack had been the one that knocked it out.

"How did he get inside?" He asked quietly. "What happened?"

I knew they needed to know, but I kept my eyes down shamefully. How would I admit that I'd been the one to let him in? After he'd stressed the importance of keeping everything locked, I'd been the one to let him in.

"Leandra?"

"I-I.." I whimpered, closing my eyes. "He seemed calm enough, so.. I-I.."

"You let him in?" He asked, and I nodded, sniffling. "Leandra, that's exactly what underestimating is."

"I know." I mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"What happened?"

"He said he just wanted to talk to you." I replied. "I-I tried telling him to go away and come back later, but he wanted to wait here. I didn't mean for him to come inside, but he just.. Sorta did."

"So you opened the door to talk to him?"

I nodded. "And I wasn't strong enough to keep him out."

"You could have done that from a window, Leandra." Jasper's voice calling up the hall had me feeling even more guilty. I hadn't even thought about that.

I knew they were all waiting to scold me, but I just kind of sat there.

"How is Heather?" I asked quietly.

"She's fine." Carlisle answered. "She'll have quite the headache for a little while, but she'll be alright. She's got quite a bit of confessing to do to her husband." I nodded.

"She came over, like you asked her to." I explained. "She pissed him off to get him off of me, but.. When she tried to get me to run, I couldn't. I was stuck. It's my fault she got hurt."

"Don't do that." He replied gently. "Mistakes are made sometimes, Leandra. Nobody is perfect."

"This mistake could have cost her her life." Jasper was bringing the scolding to me. I kept my eyes down. He had to know that there was no way I could feel any more guilty for what I did.

"Leandra, we could have lost you today." He told me. "Do you understand what that would have done? It's bad enough to find you the way we found you, but it could have been so much worse."

His tone told me that he wasn't completely mad at me. I looked up, seeing that he was worried too. Scared to even consider the fact that I was in such danger alone.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled again. "I should have been smarter."

He crouched in the doorway to be more on my level. I looked down again, bringing my knees up and rubbing my tearing eyes. I felt so horrible, but I didn't want him to think I was only crying to get out of being scolded. I knew I deserved it. There was no question.

I glanced over at Jasper's sigh, but the rest of my attention was taken by the rest of my room. I didn't see any hint of blood on the carpet anymore, but at the same time, I still saw it.

"I can't be in here." I whimpered, standing up. Unable to help it, I let a few sobs out as I stepped around Jasper and left the room. I crossed the hall, straight into the bathroom and closed the door.

The emotions that were coming back to me were a little overwhelming. Nothing I couldn't handle, but it was enough. Especially as I looked at my face in the mirror. There was no trace of blood, but I did have a pretty decent circular bruise on one of my cheeks in the shape of his teeth. I looked closer at it, making sure he hadn't broken skin. It looked like he had in one little spot, but other than that, it was just bruised.

A handful of smaller bruises down one side of my neck due to his smaller bites and nips. The other side of my neck holding just a tiny cut from the knife. My bottom lip was slightly swollen, and I felt the reason behind most of the blood in my mouth with one pass of my tongue. I'd bitten it when he slapped me.

My nose looked fine, thankfully, with no hint of a reason behind gaining that bloody nose. I sighed and turned my back to the mirror, raising the back of my shirt to get some kind of look at the deep scratches there. As if I needed more scars, I thought sadly.

They weren't too deep, but they were definitely sore. They were four wide, trailing down the length of my back and pulling slightly to my left.

I knew I'd be okay, but being unconscious for a few hours had to have worried them. Just as much as finding me like that. I had tried my hardest, and the only comfort I had was knowing I had fought back at all. Something I never would have done before.

I knew Carlisle had said Esme had cleaned me up, but I didn't feel like it. I still felt his weight on my chest and the memory of the panic underneath. I sobbed quietly, and turned on the sink. The cold water felt amazing against my face, but no matter how hard I rubbed at it, the bruise wouldn't go away. I was probably only making it worse anyway.

When I was ready to accept more scolding, I left the bathroom.

The second I entered the living room, Emmett picked me straight up. Lifting me off my feet as easily as he would a toddler. He inspected my face while I just sort of hung there.

I expected that, so instead of being surprised, I looked away.

"Yup." He finally said, setting me back down. "Still no guilt."

I knew what he meant by that, so I just moved over and sat down on the edge of the nearest couch cushion. I couldn't lean back. Esme immediately joined me, settling beside me and hugging me into her side. Alice stood with Rosalie back near the open doors, looking my way as Emmett sighed, shaking his head.

I glanced over as Carlisle and Jasper entered the room, making it official. Everyone was here.

I hated knowing that they were looking at just how close Jack had gotten to me. I hated it for many reasons.

At least I wouldn't have a scar, I thought to myself.

I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to tell them. I had no explanation other than the one I'd already given, but I knew they wanted more. How could I be so stupid?

"Leandra." Alice ended the stretch of silence. "You could have been killed."

"I know." I mumbled quietly.

"What I don't get is why." She stressed. "You knew what would happen."

"I thought.." I trailed off with a sigh. "I don't even know. I-I thought if I opened the door and told him to leave, he'd leave. He asked if you guys were home, and I said no, but-"

"That's exactly where you went wrong." Jasper scolded. "He wanted to be sure you were alone. What would you have done if he had shown up last night? Or yesterday? We wouldn't have been here."

I hadn't thought that far yet. I winced, looking down.

"What I mean, is your gift." Alice went on gently. "You were warned." She wasn't wrong. I literally couldn't argue or deny it anymore. It was eerie now how similar it was, between the dream and what actually happened.

"I thought that was just a stupid dream."

"Do you believe us now?" She asked.

"I don't even know." I sighed.

"Well, you don't have to worry about him anymore." Emmett spoke up. "He'll never be a problem again."

I closed my eyes. That didn't make me happy, but I'd have been lying if I didn't feel at least a little relieved. I was silent as I let that news sink in. He definitely deserved it, but in a way, it was my fault anyway for letting him in at all.

It also bothered me deeply. I could only imagine what they put him through the second they had the opportunity. I didn't like imagining that. Not in the least bit.

"Shorty?" Emmett asked.

"You were supposed to stay cuddly." I mumbled, now staring down at my hands.

"I still am." He replied. "Just not when it comes to people like him."

"I'm like him." I pointed out. He seemed surprised.

"You most certainly are not." Carlisle murmured, and I looked back at him shamefully.

"Yeah I am." I argued. "At least a little. I hurt people because I hurt."

"The difference is that _you_ see it." He replied. "Leandra, the guilt you feel over what you do when you're upset is proof enough that you're nothing like him. Men like him don't do these things and feel bad for it. They do them because it makes them happy to do them. Do you feel happy when you hurt people?"

"No." I replied immediately. "I hate it."

"There's your answer." He said. "You recognize that it's wrong. All you need is to be taught a way to express the way you're feeling without causing harm to other people, because you were never taught how. That doesn't make you a bad person. That doesn't make you like him at all. You only need some guidance."

That surprised me a little, because he was right.

I thought about the conversation I had with Jack before everything broke, and the things he told me just after. It was heavy in my mind, like they weren't just normal words, but I knew for a fact that I'd never felt like that a single second in my life.

I closed my eyes, recalling more of the conversation. Jack had been right. I hadn't told them. I hadn't told them everything because I did fear what would happen, but they also did deserve to know. They needed to know what I was.

"Leandra." I looked over, actually surprised to see Edward here as well. "I think now would be a good time to come clean."

He knew where my head was. The last conversation I had with him. He was referring to the darkness and all the stuff in it.

I immediately shook my head. "I can't."

"I'm right here to help you." He pointed out. "But I know for a fact that it'll only help you to see just how much you _don't_ need to hide those things anymore."

I shook my head again, but I really had to think about what he was saying. Maybe if I brought some light into that dark, the memories there would stop hurting me so bad.

"Now?" I asked, my voice breaking as I looked over at him.

"Closure." He replied softly. "And trust. Remember?"

"But.. You can hear what he said." I mumbled. I recalled for him the part of the conversation with Jack that I was talking about. The fact that I hadn't told them yet about me, and the second I did, they'd hate me.

"He's wrong." He replied. "And the sooner you see the proof yourself, the sooner you'll start to believe it."

The proof. The proof I needed, but didn't have, which was the reason why nothing Edward tried to tell me the night before he left with Bella would stick. Everyone was here. He was saying I'd see proof.

What if Edward was wrong? What would that mean for me?

But what if he was right?

I could finally take a step forward. If I could just admit to this one thing, the rest would be easy in comparison. Maybe I wouldn't have to feel guilty or ashamed anymore. I wouldn't have to hate myself so much. Hiding it, keeping it to myself was only letting it hurt me, and Edward was right. Now was the best time because with everyone here, I'd never need to repeat it, but _how_ would I even begin?

"What is it, shorty?" Emmett asked, concerned by my silence.

My silence continued.

"Give her a moment." Edward replied for me. "Leandra, perhaps you should start in the dark."

I closed my eyes again, understanding perfectly. As much as I appreciated his prompt, it hurt me. That reminder pulled me right back into it. I hung my head, drawing in until Esme rubbed my arm gently. Comfortingly.

She pulled me to her, holding me securely and resting her chin on the top of my head. "Honey, no matter what it is you need to tell us, believe me. It will not change how much we care about you."

The real question was did I want to risk it? After what happened today, I needed them more than I'd ever be able to describe. I couldn't bear to lose them.

"I can't." I sighed, keeping my eyes down.

"Leandra, you were very brave." Edward tried a different approach, and I glanced up at him. "The situation got away from you, but I can honestly say that it was your effort and your courage that bought us enough time to get back."

"You messed him up, shorty." Emmett seemed to agree. "He would have had a hard time explaining those injuries away."

"I didn't want to." I mumbled. "But I had to. I just knew I had to hold on, and I don't think I would've been able to if I didn't fight back like that."

"You were very brave." Edward repeated. "Please just remember you have that fight in you, even if you don't want to believe it."

He wanted so bad for me to see what he saw, but I felt too low to believe him. He was trying to give me the boost of confidence I needed to get passed my fears and just tell them. I was out of confidence, though. I needed to rebuild.

"Richard is on his way over." Alice murmured, and I looked over. "He needs to talk."

"Let me guess." I said. "I should hide." I was a little grateful for that. I didn't want to face anyone right then. I really did want to hide.

"It would probably be a good idea." Emmett nodded. "Come on, shorty. I'll keep you company." I nodded as well, standing up with a wince. I rounded, looking at the hallway, but I couldn't make myself go any closer.

A problem had just become clear to me. I couldn't stand the thought of being in my room after what had happened and almost happened in there. I didn't even want to try, so I just sort of stood there for a second.

"Out back is a better bet, Emmett." Edward muttered quietly.

That was fine with me. I kept my head down as I followed him outside, through the back door. I was actually confused about why I never spent more time out here. I liked it better out in the back yard instead of the front. It was somehow quieter.

"I'm sorry." Emmett said as soon as the door was closed.

"Are you gonna get into trouble for what happened?" I asked instead of replying.

"No, shorty." He replied. "We'll be fine. There can't be that many people who'll miss him anyway."

I sat down carefully. Just taking a second to breathe in the summer night's air. It helped so much, and I briefly wondered how often they'd let me sleep out here.

"I guess I should thank you." I mumbled, ignoring the way my voice shook gently. "I mean it. I've never had anyone help me like you did."

"Then why do you look like a kicked puppy?" He asked quietly.

"Because I feel like one." I answered. "I just can't believe how stupid I was. He said he wasn't gonna leave until I talked to him, and _stupid_ me.. All I wanted was to make him leave. I didn't want him to.."

"Don't tell me you're blaming yourself."

"No." I immediately denied. "I'm not. I know it had to happen. He wasn't listening, and he was hurting me. I tried, but.. I just wasn't strong enough to do it myself."

"Shorty, you stayed alive." He sighed, sitting in the chair next to mine. "That's all any of us could have asked for. I'm not mad at you for opening the door. I can kinda get why you did it."

"Aren't you gonna tell me how I could've been killed?"

"I think you know that better than anyone." He pointed out. "I think that's part of the reason why you look like a kicked puppy."

"I'm just sore." I replied. "I guess I haven't really had a chance to think about the little things yet. I'll be okay."

"Are you sure about that?" He asked, looking over at me.

No.

I didn't reply. Falling quiet as I looked over the thick patch of trees just beyond the yard ahead of us.

"I'm not sad he's gone." I finally said. "It just sucks how it happened."

I tensed instinctively as I felt him gently smooth my hair, looking over at him. I knew he saw it, letting his hand fall. I felt bad, because he'd just been trying to comfort me, and now he thought I was afraid of him.

"Square one?" He asked sadly. I thought about it.

"Nah." I eventually said. "It's nothing like square one. You'd know square one when you saw it." I paused again, looking back down. I really had to think now. How much had I grown since square one? In every possible way.

I'd learned so much since square one. I'd seen so much, and changed so much since square one. At square one, I never would have even dreamed of taking just a little bit of that power back. Jack had been stronger today, but I fought back, because I knew I could.

I remembered that conversation with Edward. Knowing my family knew I was even a little nervous around them bothered me on a deeper level now. They'd given me so much, and done so much for me today. I needed to let them know I was trying.

I compared that to my thoughts days ago, convincing myself that now was the time to let them in on just a bit of what I held back.

"Promise you won't hate me?" I asked quietly.

He seemed concerned. "I'd never hate you, shorty."

I closed my eyes. I let that comfort me. I let that in, and give me that ounce of confidence I needed to get through this. I just needed to force myself. To open that door, to open that room, instead of barricade it in the depths of my anger. To light that candle, and expose it to light and warmth. I fought tears, bracing myself.

"I gotta tell you something."

 **END**

 **A/N: Okay, there's a lot to say here, so bear with me.  
1) I know the fight was rough. I toned it down as much as I could, so _please_ be kind(ish). This chapter took a lot of effort, because nobody was cooperating. :( I could probably spend another week going over this, but instead, I decided to release it.  
2) There was originally a place for an explanation of what's in the dark, but I took it out because it's a very, very sensitive thing. It's not something I want to put out there just randomly. I haven't decided yet if it'll come up later or not. I guess we'll see where she's at next story.  
3) I realize that this story was left with a lot of open places, but I liked this spot as an ending. Everything here will be focused on in the next story.  
4) THANK YOU! To all the reviewers that have stuck with me throughout this series so far! As well as the new ones that have been kind enough to join the review club this story. I appreciate every single review I get, even if they're not always that good. I love you guys so much!  
5) Next story shouldn't be too far away. I'm really excited to start that one, but I do want to take my time and figure out what needs to be where.  
Well, I think that about covers everything. I hope you guys enjoyed following along so far.  
Until next story, my friends! **


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